There are two aspects of your life that determine how far you go and whether or not you succeed in life.

The most important decision is to accept Jesus as Your LORD and Savior. That is decision number one, and the most important decision you will ever make.

The second most important decision is who you choose to be in relationships with. Spouse, friends, associates . . . all for these people help shape your life, for better or for worse.

On the plantation, families and friends were often sold away from each other. The stability, personal and spiritual affirmation and security that healthy relationships would have provided were denied to slaves. Therefore, they couldn't discern what a healthy relationship was . . . how could they? They had never seen one! Young men were sent out to stud . . . get young women pregnant so there would be more slaves. They didn't have to stay around to raise the children . . . well, maybe we should leave that one alone . . .

What was the result of denying healthy relationships? They were deceived into thinking that those who oppressed and manipulated them actually cared for them. People who care for you want to see you blessed, free and happy . . . going towards your destiny and loving GOD. 

Why does the devil want to keep you with a plantation mentality? So he can keep you unable to see what healthy relationships are!

Why do so many choir members take advantage of kind, respectful and decent directors and musicians . . . but will work hard and sing for musicians who yell at them, belittle them, berate them? You guessed it . . . they have a plantation mentality. When anyone is nice to them, they see it as weakness . . . but they respond immediately to anyone who will abuse them, calling it "strength."

Yes, I said it.

Personally, I refuse to be an overseer just because some people want me to be one. I have been directing choirs off and on since I was fifteen, and over and over again I get the "you got to put your foot down and make them work" speech. That never did sit well with me, and i never had any peace about it. Now that I am a grown musician, I would rather not participate in a choir at all than put my integrity aside and act ignorant. But that is just me.

When a board of church mothers calls the young sisters out, tells them that they are fast and need to sit down somewhere until they find a husband, calls them everything except their names, those church mothers are "strong" and "care for you." But get some loving, kind and gentle women who love people into holiness, encourage them in their studies, take them out shopping and listen to all of their questions knowing that they had questions to when they were the same age . . . well, those people are "weak" and "put up with too much." 

Yes, I said that, too.

Plantation mentality. Putting your pastor before your husband. Telling your husband in his own house what the pastor said that he should do. Unhealthy, and actually just plain silly.

Plantation mentality. Unhealthy relationships. Putting your church before your own children. Go to every convention, every activity the church has, but won't go to your children's plays and sports games. Know who the chain of command is in the church district, but don't know who your children's' friends are, what classes they are taking, or if your son likes a girl in his class or if your daughter likes a boy in her class.

Plantation mentality. Do someone wrong, and go on a three day fast to repair the relationship . . . but won't do to that person and say that you are sorry.

The Apostle Paul deal with this when he worked with the Corinthian church. He said "I am not a fool, but maybe it would be better if I was, since you put up with fools gladly." At one point, things got so out of hand that someone even slapped Paul in the face for standing up for what is right!

Come on folks. To leave the plantation, we have to do relationships the way GOD said for us to do them.