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Author Topic: Its not Cool pt. 2  (Read 28209 times)

Offline Blssd

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Its not Cool pt. 2
« Reply #140 on: January 23, 2006, 10:52:03 AM »
It's not cool after reading all the posts on "paid is what i do" to start singing "paid is what i do" accidentally while actually trying to sing "praise is what i do"... :o
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itsallpeach

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Its not Cool pt. 2
« Reply #141 on: January 23, 2006, 11:09:01 AM »
You're cool.  The deacon stood there and said Paid FOR What I do....so you have given us yet another version that I'll probably be singing to bill collectors real soon!  :lol:
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Offline NJTheBishopAnderson

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Its not Cool pt. 2
« Reply #142 on: January 23, 2006, 03:39:50 PM »
It's not cool when....
  -you grab the mic and it smells like out-of-control halitosis
  -the praise team leader starts making up songs and they're trying
   to follow in confusion
  -you're preachin and the organist is followin you in the wrong
   chords
  -you're shoutin or runnning so hard that you don't see that tear
   in the carpet....OOOpppsss!!!

HELL SONG
Leader: Hell is a dry place
Congregation: I don't wanna go
Leader: Hell is a dry place
Congregation: I don't wanna go
Leader: Oh, Hell is a dry place
Congregation: I don't wanna go
Together: I said Hell no, I don't wanna go
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tondee

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Its not Cool pt. 2
« Reply #143 on: January 23, 2006, 03:46:26 PM »
Quote from: Austinpowers
you know i have grey streaks in my hair and Its natural!



......my exwife has a natural grey streak.  Gee.  I hope you're not sort of crazy?!  Sorry.  Forgive me.  I think like that sometimes.

Tony
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Offline jjblack

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Its not Cool pt. 2
« Reply #144 on: January 23, 2006, 04:09:55 PM »
---Surgeons General's Warning-----
This message is not for the serious or the serious at heart. It may cause laughing disease read at your own risk



NO, NO, NO WAIT!!!!


What’s not cool is when you have to fart at church, you know that one, the one that hurts your stomach  :( so bad you feel like speaking in tongues and praying for a healing   8O  .... and you remember you are sitting on those old wood pews that like to echo all loud (The original ones from '67 when the church first opened). Then you have to hold it so long your face gets twisted and the pastor throws blessed oil on you thinking you need deliverance. When you finally can't hold it no more  :oops: you try to time it with the bass on the drums..  then the song ends to soon and everyone rebukes you cuz they know what you did. LOOOOORRRDDDD PLEEEEEAAAASE get that devil out of his belly cuz it surely done died in there... Then the church mother is yellin LAZARUS COME FORTH at all the people who fell out from the smell... And to top it all off it's communion Sunday and you had on your white suit. It's not what you think I must have sat in chocolate somewhere....

Yeah, I think that’s not cool....
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Offline ApostolicFemale

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Its not Cool pt. 2
« Reply #145 on: January 23, 2006, 04:47:03 PM »
Quote from: jjblack
---Surgeons General's Warning-----
This message is not for the serious or the serious at heart. It may cause laughing disease read at your own risk



NO, NO, NO WAIT!!!!


What’s not cool is when you have to fart at church, you know that one, the one that hurts your stomach  :( so bad you feel like speaking in tongues and praying for a healing   8O  .... and you remember you are sitting on those old wood pews that like to echo all loud (The original ones from '67 when the church first opened). Then you have to hold it so long your face gets twisted and the pastor throws blessed oil on you thinking you need deliverance. When you finally can't hold it no more  :oops: you try to time it with the bass on the drums..  then the song ends to soon and everyone rebukes you cuz they know what you did. LOOOOORRRDDDD PLEEEEEAAAASE get that devil out of his belly cuz it surely done died in there... Then the church mother is yellin LAZARUS COME FORTH at all the people who fell out from the smell... And to top it all off it's communion Sunday and you had on your white suit. It's not what you think I must have sat in chocolate somewhere....

Yeah, I think that’s not cool....



OMG!!!!!!!!!!!! WOW!!
LOL!!!!!!!
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Nakia518

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Its not Cool pt. 2
« Reply #146 on: January 23, 2006, 04:50:28 PM »
Quote from: jjblack
---Surgeons General's Warning-----
This message is not for the serious or the serious at heart. It may cause laughing disease read at your own risk



NO, NO, NO WAIT!!!!


What’s not cool is when you have to fart at church, you know that one, the one that hurts your stomach  :( so bad you feel like speaking in tongues and praying for a healing   8O  .... and you remember you are sitting on those old wood pews that like to echo all loud (The original ones from '67 when the church first opened). Then you have to hold it so long your face gets twisted and the pastor throws blessed oil on you thinking you need deliverance. When you finally can't hold it no more  :oops: you try to time it with the bass on the drums..  then the song ends to soon and everyone rebukes you cuz they know what you did. LOOOOORRRDDDD PLEEEEEAAAASE get that devil out of his belly cuz it surely done died in there... Then the church mother is yellin LAZARUS COME FORTH at all the people who fell out from the smell... And to top it all off it's communion Sunday and you had on your white suit. It's not what you think I must have sat in chocolate somewhere....

Yeah, I think that’s not cool....


Although my stomach is hurting from laughing so hard..... That was a lil toooooooo much information..... ROTFLMBO!!!!!!!!!!!! :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:
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itsallpeach

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Its not Cool pt. 2
« Reply #147 on: January 23, 2006, 05:03:23 PM »
At our church, they sang Hell is a HOT place (I don't wanna go)!  It was also the theme song of my play "when the gates swing open"....when did the words change to DRY????
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Nakia518

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Its not Cool pt. 2
« Reply #148 on: January 23, 2006, 05:17:10 PM »
Quote from: itsallpeach
At our church, they sang Hell is a HOT place (I don't wanna go)!  It was also the theme song of my play "when the gates swing open"....when did the words change to DRY????


8O  8O That's actually a song 8O  8O
I thought yall was kidding... That is soooooo not Kool...
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uniquepraise

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Its not Cool pt. 2
« Reply #149 on: January 23, 2006, 05:26:47 PM »
Quote from: jjblack
---Surgeons General's Warning-----
This message is not for the serious or the serious at heart. It may cause laughing disease read at your own risk


What’s not cool is when you have to fart at church, you know that one, the one that hurts your stomach  :( so bad you feel like speaking in tongues and praying for a healing   8O  .... and you remember you are sitting on those old wood pews that like to echo all loud (The original ones from '67 when the church first opened). Then you have to hold it so long your face gets twisted and the pastor throws blessed oil on you thinking you need deliverance. When you finally can't hold it no more  :oops: you try to time it with the bass on the drums..  then the song ends to soon and everyone rebukes you cuz they know what you did. LOOOOORRRDDDD PLEEEEEAAAASE get that devil out of his belly cuz it surely done died in there... Then the church mother is yellin LAZARUS COME FORTH at all the people who fell out from the smell... And to top it all off it's communion Sunday and you had on your white suit. It's not what you think I must have sat in chocolate somewhere....

Yeah, I think that’s not cool....



 8O  :D  Its not cool to tell something like that and expect people to keep a straight face!! Im straight laughing and crying over here!!!  :lol:
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Offline NJTheBishopAnderson

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Its not Cool pt. 2
« Reply #150 on: January 23, 2006, 05:39:46 PM »
Quote from: jjblack

What’s not cool is when you have to fart at church, you know that one, the one that hurts your stomach  :( so bad you feel like speaking in tongues and praying for a healing   8O  .... and you remember you are sitting on those old wood pews that like to echo all loud (The original ones from '67 when the church first opened).


Well, we thank God for the cushioned pews now....Amen?

I was introduced to "Hell is a dry place" through some friends and thats the way they always sung it.
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itsallpeach

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Its not Cool pt. 2
« Reply #151 on: January 23, 2006, 11:27:24 PM »
It's one of the call and response a cappella songs that one of our mothers sang last year when we had the "old time way" service with no choir, no instruments, and all congregational songs during Black History month.

The leader says....HELL IS A HOT PLACE
and the church says....I DON'T WANNA GO!

and on the vamp, the lead says DO YOU WANNA GO TO HELL (and the reply is HELL NO)!

When we did the play, I had to omit the vamp because the cast members could not stop breaking character and laughing during that part (and the Director and Writer couldn't either).  So, to salvage my reputation as an up and coming playwright, we 86'd the vamp all together.
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Offline csedwards2

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Its not Cool pt. 2
« Reply #152 on: January 24, 2006, 09:16:29 AM »
^
        ^
        ^
        ^
        ^
I couldnt play a thing if they were singing that in front of me. LOL
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Offline sweetchord

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Its not Cool pt. 2
« Reply #153 on: January 24, 2006, 06:45:09 PM »
Quote from: csedwards2
^
        ^
        ^
        ^
        ^
I couldnt play a thing if they were singing that in front of me. LOL


 :lol: LOL , Me neither, cause IM toooooooo goofy, I would mess it up for everyone!!!!! :oops:  :lol:
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Offline bishop2

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Its not Cool pt. 2
« Reply #154 on: January 29, 2006, 04:39:14 AM »
Speaking of call and response songs, growing up in the "grand ole, grand ole" it was a long time when I found out I was singing the wrong words to songs, i.e.:

In the morning
When I ride (When I rise)

I want a white pony (I wanna rise holy)
When I ride (When I rise)

The old mothers had bad dentures ok, I sang it wrong for awhile.



Yall gonna scream at this one FO SHO!!!


It's not cool to sit in the pulpit and scratch your "holy place" with the bible...
They had it open in their lap with it standing on there lap and making motions with the bible across their lap...
Maybe they got a hold to something water won't wash off???
True story...
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Offline LyricTenor

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Its not Cool pt. 2
« Reply #155 on: January 30, 2006, 11:51:02 AM »
...for the P&W leader to say 'The Devil is a liar.  P&W team, musicians YOU ALL need to get it together' IN THE MIDDLE OF P&W!  This just happened to me this past Thursday night.  I thought 'TEAM' entailed everybody.    :?:
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Offline LadyWiz

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Its not Cool pt. 2
« Reply #156 on: January 30, 2006, 12:06:11 PM »
Quote from: bishop2

Yall gonna scream at this one FO SHO!!!
It's not cool to sit in the pulpit and scratch your "holy place" with the bible...
They had it open in their lap with it standing on there lap and making motions with the bible across their lap...
Maybe they got a hold to something water won't wash off???
True story...


Man ~ if that's a true story, then I am through!!  :x Such a delicate, polite term......"holy place"  :lol:  :lol:  But sitting in the pulpit :?:  :?:  :!: Well, I guess if you really have to scratch...... 8O
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Offline idoobiedub

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Re: Its not Cool pt. 2
« Reply #157 on: March 22, 2006, 11:40:36 AM »
It's not cool to come to service 45 minutes late and walk in the choir stand in the middle of one of the songs.
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Offline mteekemp

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Re: Its not Cool pt. 2
« Reply #158 on: March 22, 2006, 12:11:04 PM »
Quote from: jjblack on January 23, 2006, 04:09:55 PM
---Surgeons General's Warning-----
This message is not for the serious or the serious at heart. It may cause laughing disease read at your own risk



NO, NO, NO WAIT!!!!


What’s not cool is when you have to fart at church, you know that one, the one that hurts your stomach  :( so bad you feel like speaking in tongues and praying for a healing   8O  .... and you remember you are sitting on those old wood pews that like to echo all loud (The original ones from '67 when the church first opened). Then you have to hold it so long your face gets twisted and the pastor throws blessed oil on you thinking you need deliverance. When you finally can't hold it no more  :oops: you try to time it with the bass on the drums..  then the song ends to soon and everyone rebukes you cuz they know what you did. LOOOOORRRDDDD PLEEEEEAAAASE get that devil out of his belly cuz it surely done died in there... Then the church mother is yellin LAZARUS COME FORTH at all the people who fell out from the smell... And to top it all off it's communion Sunday and you had on your white suit. It's not what you think I must have sat in chocolate somewhere....

Yeah, I think that’s not cool....
:D :D :D oh my God that is too much...I am laughing so hard, my lungs are constricted, andI can't breathe...
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Offline 3rd-Day

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Re: Its not Cool pt. 2
« Reply #159 on: March 24, 2006, 09:23:18 AM »
Quote from: jjblack on January 23, 2006, 04:09:55 PM
---Surgeons General's Warning-----
This message is not for the serious or the serious at heart. It may cause laughing disease read at your own risk



NO, NO, NO WAIT!!!!


What’s not cool is when you have to fart at church, you know that one, the one that hurts your stomach  :( so bad you feel like speaking in tongues and praying for a healing   8O  .... and you remember you are sitting on those old wood pews that like to echo all loud (The original ones from '67 when the church first opened). Then you have to hold it so long your face gets twisted and the pastor throws blessed oil on you thinking you need deliverance. When you finally can't hold it no more  :oops: you try to time it with the bass on the drums..  then the song ends to soon and everyone rebukes you cuz they know what you did. LOOOOORRRDDDD PLEEEEEAAAASE get that devil out of his belly cuz it surely done died in there... Then the church mother is yellin LAZARUS COME FORTH at all the people who fell out from the smell... And to top it all off it's communion Sunday and you had on your white suit. It's not what you think I must have sat in chocolate somewhere....

Yeah, I think that’s not cool....

Time it with the bass drum on the drums???? And the song ends early. So basically you been fartin through the whole song..... WOW!!!!! God has a unique way of exposin folks!!!!;D
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