some of the worst advice i ever got as a MOM

[diverse379]

be stern
Dont let them run over you
dont ask them their opinion
you are the leader you call the shots

-if they do offer a suggestion that you like dont let them think that you changed your mind because of them


a lot of people have told me stuff like this both when i was a teacher and a M.O.M

to be honest it doesent work from me

I believe in team work and although i am the leader there are many members on my team who have deep ties in the church years singing on the ministry i would be an idiot not to at least listen to what they have to say

dont get me wrong on ponts of technique and direction and 90% of song choices i will call the shots

but i always ask for feedback
i am discerning enough to know the difference between people just being unwilling to change and people just not being receptive and people needing a little time to come around

how will I know what to pray for if i dont know my people

I think when you start a new position or if you are a new M.OM you have to do what works for you
some ministers like to chastise and run a dictatorship

If that is your approach and it works for you then fine but that doesent mean that that is the only way to be effective you may tell someone else to treat the choir that way and it will blow up in their face

to end this here

Let God lead you and do you

[nessalynn77]

Yeah, that whole "ruling with an iron fist" bit was disproven back in the old testament.  A secure leader doesn't have to play those control games.

[Prophetic Remnant]

Ooops, because i grew up in that school. That doesn't seem like you're "ruling with an iron fist". That sounds like good advice.

After all, picture if:
You were soft,
You let them run over you,
Always asked for their opinions,
And let them call the shots...

You're life would be a living H...(wait i don't know the rules concering this word on here  ).

[nessalynn77]

To each his own, but I for one will not serve under someone who can't concede that I may have something good to contribute once in a while, where all of the ideas have to come from that person or they have no merit.. No thanks!

[diverse379]

To each his own, but I for one will not serve under someone who can't concede that I may have something good to contribute once in a while, where all of the ideas have to come from that person or they have no merit.. No thanks!

I agree and once in a while is the magic word or every now and then

or more importantly when it is right

prophet remnant makes it seem as if you give a little slack you will lose the whole reigns
it is a balancing act of give and take with me by no means because i listen to good advice am I giving up the reigns nor will my life be miserable with my choirs on the contrary
my life will be more sublime


yesterday was a perfect example of this balancing act

it was christmas eve there werent a lot of members from the mass choir that were in rehearsal but of course there were lots of people on tne choir loft

well i had selected three christmas songs as selections i arranged them slightly
well after we did the first two then one of the choir presidents rebelled against hark the herald angels
i put a lot of time into this arrangement and i wanted to do it)  furthermore i was a litle angry that here was someone who was not even in rehearsal trying to call shots

but i remembered this thread that i wrote the night before

 she wanted to do walk in the light

i noticed the other choir members wanted to do this song as well they showed me the song in the hymn book i had never played it i saw they really wanted to do it

i thought to myself i really hope they know it because i cant pick up a song if it is halfway sung
I thought about how bad i would look if i do this song with them and cant pick it up 


so i looked at the music one more time it seemed easy enough so i said lets go for it

well to make a long story short
it was the best song of the day

see i have been playing all of 5 years
and i am only 39 some of these singers have been singing longer then i am alive

they knew their church and how it flows
they had experience with this song that i did not have

if you were ever in the army the lieutenants are taught to heed the advice of your seargeants because they know their men and they know the battle grounds they have experience

well ministers of music trust your choir presidents because they know their members and they know the battle ground

but wait the next song they all started thumbing through the hymn book i guess expecting to pick the next song i was willing to accomodate but when i saw they couldnt get it together i started to bat out a gospelized version of go tell it on the mountain this was a nother breakthrough song
I took charge and they followed as simple as that


so what happened did i let them run over me

no

i trusted my team

and guess what they trusted me back

did I lose my leadership?

no

I gained further support because I gave them what they wanted they saw i was capable of giving them what they wanted and they in turn took up the yoke and followed me in my song

guess what else i made an allies instead of enemies

If ruling with an iron fist works for you then do you

but please dont think that is the only way to skin a cat
because it isnt and be careful about passing on that advice to others

this is 2006 going into 2007 this aint back in the day

there are many types of leaders

coaches dictators facilitators delegators

me I am a facilitator

i will move into other areas as I see fit but i believe in everyone having a vessted interest in what we are doing

[sjonathan02]

How 'bout we sum it up with one word BALANCE.

There are times when it must be left to the decision and discretion of the MOM and every one involved in the music ministry MUST submit to that authority. When we have a difficulty submitting is when the enemy comes in and tricks us into believing that there is a problem.

The MOM has or should have the ear of the Pastor. Period. When the Pastor is ministering, during service, he looks to the MOM when there's a song he hears the Lord speak to him. When things go wrong within the music ministry, the Pastor looks to the MOM; NOT to anyone on the choir, in the band or anywhere else.

On the flip side, if a member of the choir or a musician, etc comes to the MOM with a song suggestion, then sure the MOM should be flexible enough, where possible, to hear the people that are under his authority. If a choir member has a question about how things are done, then by all means, the MOM should be able to find time to answer any questions or concerns.

I am also of the opinion that these types of concerns arise within smaller music ministries. I say that based on MY experiences so try to remember that it's MY opinion to which I am entitled. The best you could say is that I might want to visit more church music ministries. 

The bottom line is communication and balance are the keys to effective ministry. 

[diverse379]

How 'bout we sum it up with one word BALANCE.

There are times when it must be left to the decision and discretion of the MOM and every one involved in the music ministry MUST submit to that authority. When we have a difficulty submitting is when the enemy comes in and tricks us into believing that there is a problem.

The MOM has or should have the ear of the Pastor. Period. When the Pastor is ministering, during service, he looks to the MOM when there's a song he hears the Lord speak to him. When things go wrong within the music ministry, the Pastor looks to the MOM; NOT to anyone on the choir, in the band or anywhere else.

On the flip side, if a member of the choir or a musician, etc comes to the MOM with a song suggestion, then sure the MOM should be flexible enough, where possible, to hear the people that are under his authority. If a choir member has a question about how things are done, then by all means, the MOM should be able to find time to answer any questions or concerns.

I am also of the opinion that these types of concerns arise within smaller music ministries. I say that based on MY experiences so try to remember that it's MY opinion to which I am entitled. The best you could say is that I might want to visit more church music ministries. 

The bottom line is communication and balance are the keys to effective ministry. 

I agree with pretty much all the points you made the only thing i would add is that often it isnt just one person coming at you with a song all respectful like most of the time if you dont have that balance just right

you can get people voicing their opinions all willy nilly during rehearsal or like yesterday during service
my situation is unique we dont have a pastor yet (the last one died last February
the other MoM just got fired this month

I just started the job in October

so there is a lot of potential for chaos so me relying on my choir presidents to help me undersand this church is crucial

Lfor example I like worship music
most of the members dont understand worship music but they like anthems

i thought playing silent night pretty and airy would be great
they wanted it churchy

the church came alive with the gospelly churchy numbers
if it were up to me everything would be worship

but that is because I am a worshipper but everyone is not on that level

I still have a responibility to the members that still need deliverance

and those that still need to get their praise on

the church where I am is pretty large

and the last was a fair size as well although like you said it seems like the smaller ministries have more disorder at times i think this is becuase the more people  you have the greater the need for order
I dont think you can grow to a cathedrall size in chaos

my remedy is to really have a good relationship with my choir presidents

just like seargents they are your link betwwen the men and the officers

choir presidents can help you a great deal

I am repectful to all the members but the people  I call every week and really talk shop to are the choir presidents

Thanks SJ for your points

[sjonathan02]

I agree with pretty much all the points you made the only thing i would add is that often it isnt just one person coming at you with a song all respectful like most of the time if you dont have that balance just right

you can get people voicing their opinions all willy nilly during rehearsal or like yesterday during service
my situation is unique we dont have a pastor yet (the last one died last February
the other MoM just got fired this month

I just started the job in October

so there is a lot of potential for chaos so me relying on my choir presidents to help me undersand this church is crucial

Lfor example I like worship music
most of the members dont understand worship music but they like anthems

i thought playing silent night pretty and airy would be great
they wanted it churchy

the church came alive with the gospelly churchy numbers
if it were up to me everything would be worship

but that is because I am a worshipper but everyone is not on that level

I still have a responibility to the members that still need deliverance

and those that still need to get their praise on

the church where I am is pretty large

and the last was a fair size as well although like you said it seems like the smaller ministries have more disorder at times i think this is becuase the more people  you have the greater the need for order
I dont think you can grow to a cathedrall size in chaos

my remedy is to really have a good relationship with my choir presidents

just like seargents they are your link betwwen the men and the officers

choir presidents can help you a great deal

I am repectful to all the members but the people  I call every week and really talk shop to are the choir presidents

Thanks SJ for your points

Sounds like you're at a Baptist church (no offense to all the Baptists out there, but again, I'm speaking from my experiences). But, indeed tring to get a feel for a church, for any new leader, would call for a lot of communication between said leader and the folks that have been there.

[Prophetic Remnant]

  Wow! I thought that was assumed. (I guess not) Of course it still needs to be done in balance. That's a recurring theme throughout the Word, everything needs to be done in temperance. Because if you noticed the posts vary between extremes. Get it? You shouldn't be too stern or too soft. you shouldn't shun opinions or work for everyone's opinion. But I do know one thing for sure (well I knew the other stuff for sure too  ) You should NEVER let people run over you.

[diverse379]

i know i do not have all the answers  i will take every thing everything everyone haa written under consideration

and yes SJ it is a Baptist church
no offense taken