What do you think?

[ReddGirl]

During Sunday School, first Sundays we all meet together. We were learning about relationships. Our pastor said " If you are single then you should stay at home with your parents until you get married".  It would reduce your getting into trouble. It makes a lot of sense. What do you think?

[SisterT]

During Sunday School, first Sundays we all meet together. We were learning about relationships. Our pastor said " If you are single then you should stay at home with your parents until you get married".  It would reduce your getting into trouble. It makes a lot of sense. What do you think?

Hmmmmm....there is a flip side. That would not have worked with my parents. Don't get me wrong, I love my parents. Leaving home, however, was the best thing I could have done. I learned how to live a holy life after leaving the less than ideal example at home. Plus, I was hitting 30, with a good and established career when I got married. There comes a time when you realize it is time to leave the nest...I left as soon as my wings were strong enough for me to fly.

I cannot imagine living in a home with the things I had to witness and perservering through that mess until marriage. What if I was called to singlehood?

Some children are blessed to have a good home environment. Some are not. For me, and my siblings, we decided at a young age that we were leaving as soon as possible. I went away to college...When I returned home, I got a decent job and moved. I settled down from "wildness" after leaving my parents home.

[lumbebear1]

As a single person I probalby would have stayed at home a lot longer  had my Mother been living. I probably wouldn't have gotten into as much trouble. For some I think that would be a wise decision...............I guess it all depends on the individual.

[cas10a]

I was going to say and agree with SisterT, single 30+ years old and living with your parents???   Is your Pastor refering to a certain age group?  I don't know if I could agree staying at home with parents in all situations.  Also you can get into trouble whether you live at home with your parents or not.  Alot of younger people get in trouble when they are living at home, whether in a good environment or not, In some situations it may keep you from getting into trouble, but it can work the other way also!

[T]

This is what  i think. I diagree when you said that your pastor said, that you should live with your parents so you want get in trouble. I mean you are grown or whatever get out the house and see how life is, i'm not saying that it's something wrong with staying with your parents. Now that's what i think

[uriahsmusic]

...I THINK IN OLDER TIMES IT USED TO BE THAT WAY MORE THAN NOT!

[KurzLand]

   My plans are to stay at home until I get married, but these plans might change in 4 or 5 years. I might get married when i'm 23 or 24. The reason I say this is because most of the band members are still young, like 24, and are married and they have a kid. So this might happen to me too. I hope not. I want to get get married when 26 or 27 but not when I'm 24. Or I might get tired of living at home and move out myself.

Now if I hit 24(or 26 ) and I'm not married then I will move out. I'll kick myself out .

[cas10a]

I am a parent, with no parents now or older relatives so this kind of hits home with me, sorry if I'm going on about it.
Children need to grow up, They reach ages quickly and at some point it's time for them to grow up to be Men and Women. Parents can't keep them from wrong all the time, if we (parents) were perfect maybe we could (but we are not, Only God Is, we just strive to be like Him).  We can do all that we can do to the best of our ability, following the word of God, but at some point it is time for "Grown children" (Men and Women) to move out of home and be responsible for actions and parents cannot take responsibility for everything their children want to endulge.  I know I Love my children unconditionally and would always feel as if I did something wrong if they got into trouble:  But once they reach a certain age they have to make their own descisions whether they stay at home and I'm telling them what is right to do. I can't take responsibility for what, if anything, they do wrong.  I can only guide them and pray that they will listen to Gods' direction, my experiences and do the right thing.  --Not saying, my children have done anything wrong (they are all beautiful), I Love my teenage (Almost Grown) boys very much and my Little girl, Love you, Diamond Joy. 

Hope I wrote this right, wasn't trying to offend anyone.

[jt3n1]

I will say that if you have to live with your parents to stay out of trouble, then you never learned how to act in the first place. Besides this, there are plenty of people who live with their parents and get involved in all sorts of trouble.  After a certain age, the trouble you get into has nothing to do with your parents saying yes you can or no you can't. Therefore, you could live anywhere and use God's word to govern yourself accordingly. I hope that the Pastor in this situation is sensitive to the needs and concerns of the singles in his congregation, otherwise they may feel alienated by his teachings.

[lumbebear1]

I hope that the Pastor in this situation is sensitive to the needs and concerns of the singles in his congregation, otherwise they may feel alienated by his teachings.

Good Point jt

[ReddGirl]

My pastor is old school! I didn't know how to take what he said because clearly it was his opionon. I can see how he has a point.

[uniquepraise]

For some people you being at home still wouldnt keep you out of trouble cause you do what you want.  I think for some its better to be out on your own and learn responsibility and how to take care of yourself the downfalls and rewards of owing your own.  Lord knows I wish I would have done it sooner.  I just moved out at 26 in March of THIS YEAR.   I had a child living at home with mom and dad and had to work to take care of me and my son and my bills and STILL PAY RENT (yes I had to pay rent living with my parents) I prefer being out on my own.  And it has caused me to learn who I am as a woman and develop a CLOSER relationship with GOD. Aint nothing like alone time with the Lord!

[cas10a]

Me again , I don't understand what is being said, its better for some to stay at home well after adulthood?  Sure, if it is there for you and you need to stay for a while to get on your feet you should stay, for a little while:  But once you are an adult, it is time for you to grow up, that is what the first 21 years of your life/teachings are meant for, It's O.K. to still draw on your lessons learned and ask questions from those who have experienced things (your parents and others).   But you can't say living at home will keep you from doing right or wrong.  I'm not saying there is a definate age to move out, because you may not have the means even at adulthood and do need to stay at home, but if you have the ability to move out, why would an adult just stay at home to keep themselves from getting into trouble?  The person is an adult and should know right from wrong by then and it is no longer a responsibility of the parent to try to keep them from doing anything wrong (parents will still try and offer advice), but it is beyond their control because the person is an adult. 

[NoelII]

Though, I agree with jt3n1 that staying at home wonk keep you out of trouble, Most of the folks in my family in fact did stay at home until we married. Home was cool, rent was cheap, everybody got along. I moved out when I got married at age 30.

[IQEQ]

Well...  This is a social-values issue.  I feel once you have finished high school within months...  it is time to go.  As parents it is our responsibility to prepare our children mentally for the task of life.  I have instilled within my seed that they MUST do something--be prepared to make a move when school is over i.e...  Military (which I feel everyone should do at-lease two years), College (Which I feel everyone should attend), or find a job.  Concerning college--I encouraged my daughter to live on campus... with the understanding she had a "virtual-key" to come home if things got crazy.  Being she had the option to "return," she was able to make it without returning to the nest.

I feel if we do not prepare our kids for life...  We get from them, what we put in them.  Meaning if you allow the "Young Adult" to stay home... The are less likely to make the mistakes they NEED to make in life; they play it safe.  If you teach/encourage them to speard their wings and afford them the opportunity to MAKE mistakes... they learn how to traverse the crooked roads of like...

My daughter had a Credit Card (CC) with a $400 limit per month.  I paid the CC every month; however she understood, if her grades fell the CC limit dropped...  This was my way of teaching her... there is nothing free in life but Salvation.  She learned in order to have things you have to work for them.  Her job was to do well in school... and as payment her CC was there.

Long story short...  I am not a fan of Young Adults living @ home... past College years (23)

Your Thoughts...

Questions: setag1@hotmail.com

[Mysteryman]

During Sunday School, first Sundays we all meet together. We were learning about relationships. Our pastor said " If you are single then you should stay at home with your parents until you get married".  It would reduce your getting into trouble. It makes a lot of sense. What do you think?

Actually it is biblical for the child to stay with the parents in one sense. The bible does say the man should leave father and mother and cleave to his wife. Also you find plenty of examples were the children lived with their parents until marriage. We frown on grown men staying with their parents but they do this in other cultures. I left the house late but I feel I should have left a long time ago. Part of the problem is when the child does not have responsibilities or the parents do everything and dont train the child to do for him/herself. I have good parents but alot of things they didnt teach me so I had to learn on my own when I moved out.

I was told do this and do that but never really shown how. I think the children in the bible had responsibilities in and outside of the house, like tending sheep or taking care of children or elders.