Single Sisters -- This thread's for U!!! The Reprise........

[praizeHim]

Most Single Sister's, saved and unsaved have expectations of one day, being FOUND by the right man, to embrace that glorious journey of matrimony!

Things have definitely changed over the years, and women are choosing to be single longer for many different reasons.

If you've been single for any length of time, you probably, like most have already set an agenda of what is expected from your intended.

Many of us have our own homes, cars, careers, you know, but there's that missing element of "a man around the house".

Some of us have children in and out of the home.  Over the time of our singleness, we've been lulled into different routines, like LGM, or midweek service with Choir rehearsal and prayer meeting,  night out with the girls -- whatever it is.

So,  what I"m interested in finding out is when HE finally comes along, what are you wiling to compromise and sacrifice to not only obtain, but maintain a successful relationship?

Have you already established boundaries of what you will and won't do.  i.e. cooking, cleaning, washing? 

If you have children, have you decided whether or not,  your new husband can bring that child up and discipline them as their own?


Love to hear your thoughts

[nessalynn77]

Good question.  Honestly, I've given it some thought but not a lot.  Being 28 yrs old, I guess I've been a single adult for a while, and mainly now I'm concerned with preparation, you know having the traits a good wife should bring to the table.  As far as my daily habits and routines, I guess I just assumed it was a given that a lot of that would change.  Once I know who "he" is, I guess we'll be discussing what each expects as far as time and activities w/ friends, etc.  I'll have to give this some more thought.

[lumbebear1]

Most Single Sister's, saved and unsaved have expectations of one day, being FOUND by the right man, to embrace that glorious journey of matrimony!

Things have definitely changed over the years, and women are choosing to be single longer for many different reasons.

If you've been single for any length of time, you probably, like most have already set an agenda of what is expected from your intended.

Many of us have our own homes, cars, careers, you know, but there's that missing element of "a man around the house".

Some of us have children in and out of the home.  Over the time of our singleness, we've been lulled into different routines, like LGM, or midweek service with Choir rehearsal and prayer meeting,  night out with the girls -- whatever it is.

So,  what I"m interested in finding out is when HE finally comes along, what are you wiling to compromise and sacrifice to not only obtain, but maintain a successful relationship?

Have you already established boundaries of what you will and won't do.  i.e. cooking, cleaning, washing? 

If you have children, have you decided whether or not,  your new husband can bring that child up and discipline them as their own?


Love to hear your thoughts

Until recently (pst several years) I never saw (what I considered) a good/happy marriage. Based on all that I decided at an early age to remain single. I have been single for so long that I would have to be like Esther (year of preparation) to even think about it.

[SisterT]

Single Sisters -- This thread's for U!!! Sisters Only Please --

You know we don't play by the rules!!! LOL!!! 

[ministryminded04]

Umm That is a very good topic!  I'm a widow, but before I got married I had all the things that a women should have as an adult, I had a child and a great full time job.  I felt like when Mr. right did come along I had something to bring to the table . I also had an ego too, a attuide like this When I do get married I aint working, I just staying at home and care for the kids and blah blah blah, Umm things change. 

Because of my dont and want we had a horrible couple of years, him being a laid back kind of guy he cooked, cleaned and worked, with no prob. So I was queen Diva.  (so I thought)
We relocated and he put his foot done, If I work, u cook, If you want to keep riding like a queen in nice cars you get a part time job to pay for insurance. 

After he died Diva status changed I have to work full time, I do all the washing, cooking, cleaning etc etc.

I have dating and in two years all the DO AND DONT WONT AND ALL THE REST will will change cuz lets be real aint no MAN OF GOD gonna put up with no whinning, spoiled, nasty, bad attudies, demaning women

I didn't change my high standards but I show nuff lowered them. 

As far as letting a man disiple my kids as his own, not a problem, that was one of the things I messed up with my late husband My son, was about 3 when we meet and I had a prob with my husband saying anything to him he ran all over me, but when I started letting him get in my son little butt, my son is a better 9 yr old now,so yes when Mr. Saved Right(Yes ladies his first name is Saved and Last name Right) (LOL)  comes in he will be able to raise both children as his own. After all if he is truly God sent will take own as the man of the house.

Stay blessed and Saved folks can laugh too.

[ministryminded04]

One more thing, Ive Single, Single and Saved,Married and unsaved,  Married and Saved, and Widowed and hanging on barely LOL I'm just playing.  Just wanted ya alll to know Ive been there done that all b4 the age of 30

Be blessed and Laugh life is too short.

[praizeHim]

Good question.  Honestly, I've given it some thought but not a lot.  Being 28 yrs old, I guess I've been a single adult for a while, and mainly now I'm concerned with preparation, you know having the traits a good wife should bring to the table.  As far as my daily habits and routines, I guess I just assumed it was a given that a lot of that would change.  Once I know who "he" is, I guess we'll be discussing what each expects as far as time and activities w/ friends, etc.  I'll have to give this some more thought.

Ness, this along with all the other responses thus far have been excellent.   And I guess, the point I'm getting at is we live in a euphoric state day dreaming about the day we will leave the ranks of singleness, that we don't take a realistic view of the whole matter.  There will be changes, there will be sacrifices and we will have to learn to adjust and adapt in order to make it work.


Like Lumbebear, I've made the conscious choice to remain single but for  different reasons. 

I recently talked to a guy I "dated" for a while a few years back, he was telling me that "the WOMEN don gone mad"  He said their lazy, and greedy and want him to do everything, as If they've already made some kind of committment.  Mind you these are the so called saved sisters. 


I so admire Sister T and the beautiful relationship she has with her Boaz, but not to the point I'll get the vapors and try to have one  No Maam, No Maam.  I'm sure they've worked hard to have the God Kind of Marriage and I would venture to guess they work on it DAILY.

   
For you ladies who are contemplating marriage, which I would assume would be most, often times the answer to the question "how long" is on the inside of us.
 
One main hindrance in a healthy relationship  is finances... should I go there??? 

 We take the childlike 2 y/o approach MINE MINE MINE, and before you know it, there's trouble in paradise.  So when we make a decision to enter a relationship we have to count ALL the costs.


What are you willing to accept?  What are you willing to release?

[baggettcindy]

Most Single Sister's, saved and unsaved have expectations of one day, being FOUND by the right man, to embrace that glorious journey of matrimony!

Things have definitely changed over the years, and women are choosing to be single longer for many different reasons.

If you've been single for any length of time, you probably, like most have already set an agenda of what is expected from your intended.

Many of us have our own homes, cars, careers, you know, but there's that missing element of "a man around the house".

Some of us have children in and out of the home.  Over the time of our singleness, we've been lulled into different routines, like LGM, or midweek service with Choir rehearsal and prayer meeting,  night out with the girls -- whatever it is.

So,  what I"m interested in finding out is when HE finally comes along, what are you wiling to compromise and sacrifice to not only obtain, but maintain a successful relationship?

Have you already established boundaries of what you will and won't do.  i.e. cooking, cleaning, washing? 

If you have children, have you decided whether or not,  your new husband can bring that child up and discipline them as their own?


Love to hear your thoughts

Well....I will be 38 in July and am single.  When I was younger I thought about marriage...and thought the rapture would come before I was 21 and wouldn't have to worry bout it.  But seriously...I don't plan on gett'n married.  The desire isn't there and I have my own personal issues I need work on and wouldn't want to take into a marriage anyway.  I am very content.  No, i don't have companionship....but...I also don't have the problems that come along with it.  If I didn't have to deal with my issues, things would be different..but, oh well.  I did read and agree..women are getting married a lot later than they/we used to.

[dingster1]

I'm in with Ministryminded04 in that I"m a widow and have been for 14 years. I'm 37 and have been working in my calling 5 years. I tried the relationship thing 2 times since I've been single. One didn't work out for a bunch of reasons, and the other one died. Now I"m set in my ways, like my closet space, and my freedom. My son will be graduating in 2 years. I think right now I would have a hard time with someone interrupting my Weds, Sats, and Sundays. Eventually I hope that will change. I just haven't seen an African AMerican Male who is too interested in Civil war history, computers and hiking in addition to being saved.  Miss the companionship though sometimes.

[uniquepraise]

Me being the found single sister I am giving up a lot for my marriage.  Things I never thought I would have to give up. Its a process because at times I feel like saying lets forget about it and go on with our single lives. But knowing that this is from GOD you learn to humble yourself and submit to GODs will. He makes it easy and for me I know that the scarifices I make will be rewarded.  As it was said before your mindset changes when its time to come into covenant.

One thing I recommend is sitting at a women of GODs feet such as your pastors wife or a mother in the church I say someone who is married so that you will learn a variety of lessons.

Also I recommend the book Life Changing Relationships by James T Meeks this will help men and women

[praizeHim]

So far I think 4 ladies have declared they have no aspiration for marriage? 

Do you think that makes us selfish, or too set in our ways?

[uniquepraise]

I dont. I think that the desire to be married is there because GOD created us and knows us so he knows who he created for marriage and who would be a spectacular person without being married.

This could be the time that GOD is dealing and manifesting some things in their lives. Nothing selfish about wanting to be as whole and as great as you possiblly can without a man in the picture. I say GO AHEAD ON AND DO YO THANG!!!

[lumbebear1]

praizeHim........................one thing that those of us singles should do is live as if we're aren't gonna be married (for ahwile)
by that i mean:

1. Develop and maintain your relationship withoru Father.
2. Develop and maintain your own financial plan
3. Purchase your own home (unless you like an apartment)
4. Learn to be content with being alone.............Get to know the real you b4 you introduce yourself to that someone special.
5. Be like Esther: Prepare to meet your King

[nessalynn77]

I like that, Bear.

[praizeHim]

praizeHim........................one thing that those of us singles should do is live as if we're aren't gonna be married (for ahwile)
by that i mean:

1. Develop and maintain your relationship withoru Father.
2. Develop and maintain your own financial plan
3. Purchase your own home (unless you like an apartment)
4. Learn to be content with being alone.............Get to know the real you b4 you introduce yourself to that someone special.
5. Be like Esther: Prepare to meet your King

I do agree with you lumbebear.   


 I was just reading a post from a single's group that I'm involved with, and they're really having some issues struggling with singleness.

But tears came to my eyes when I read one from a young lady, I'm not sure how old she is but the remark went something like.

"I'm tired of being single...I'm tired of raising these kids by myself and I'm tired of working...the Lord better hurry up and do something"


I really couldn't believe what I was reading.   

I may have to go over and post in what's the rush thread --  cuz, it's a whole lot of people getting married for the wrong reasons. 

[praizeHim]

A few months have passed, and I've been here a little bit now and would like to know if anyone has changed their outlook or opinions????

[lumbebear1]

A few months have passed, and I've been here a little bit now and would like to know if anyone has changed their outlook or opinions????

Nope not yet

[peachlyn68]

So far I think 4 ladies have declared they have no aspiration for marriage? 

Do you think that makes us selfish, or too set in our ways?

MY THOUGHTS:  I don't think that makes them selfish.  Everyone has not been given the desire to marry.  There are some people that God wants to remain single, so they wouldn't desire to marry.  Think about the apostle Paul.  He said that he wish that all men were  like him, but all are not.  In other words, Paul was on a mission for God, that required him to remain single, he had no desire to marry, but he also understood that God has placed in some, the desire to marry.  It only becomes selfish, if God desires you to marry and create, and you decide that it's only and all about you, going against God's will, to obtain your personal will.