Thin Line Between Gossip and Speaking Your Mind.....

[Nakia518]

Is there really???


I mean is you are speaking something that you observed and give your opinion of it is it gossip or speaking your mind...

I believed that gossip meant that you were speaking an untruth about someone and adding your own lil twist to the story...

What do you think the difference is???
Also, ow do you know when you have turned from a mere discussion to straight up gossip???

[nessalynn77]

I think it is a pretty thin line.  I don't think gossip has to be an untruth.  Sometimes it can be true information but when we use it to tear somebody down it becomes a gossip party.  I've been struggling with removing myself from this but it's pretty hard to define.  I think if I have an honest opinion to share, it's okay, but I should be able to stand by my opinion in front of the person, and not just behind their back, so maybe that's where the line is.  If it can't be said in front of the person, then it's probably venturing into gossip.

That's just my personal opinion.

[TheVeteran]

I'd say motive is everything.

If you're telling somebody that Person A has a drinking problem, what is your motive?

Because the person you're telling is someone who can help?

Because the person you're telling leaves their child with Person A?

Because you'd like to touch and agree for Person A's Deliverance?

Or because you just want to talk about what a shame it is?  About how Person A ought to know better?

Motive is everything.

[sjonathan02]

I'd say motive is everything.

If you're telling somebody that Person A has a drinking problem, what is your motive?

Because the person you're telling is someone who can help?

Because the person you're telling leaves their child with Person A?

Because you'd like to touch and agree for Person A's Deliverance?

Or because you just want to talk about what a shame it is?  About how Person A ought to know better?

Motive is everything.

To coin a phrase:   BRILLIANT!!!   

[SisterT]

I'd say motive is everything.

If you're telling somebody that Person A has a drinking problem, what is your motive?

Because the person you're telling is someone who can help?

Because the person you're telling leaves their child with Person A?

Because you'd like to touch and agree for Person A's Deliverance?

Or because you just want to talk about what a shame it is?  About how Person A ought to know better?

Motive is everything.

I agree. Brilliant!!

A lot of threads that get strated on LGM are "Speaking Minds" types of threads. The motive is not love.

[sjonathan02]

I agree. Brilliant!!

A lot of threads that get strated on LGM are "Speaking Minds" types of threads. The motive is not love.

Ooooh, you gonna make me shout, right here!! 

[Nakia518]

I'd say motive is everything.

If you're telling somebody that Person A has a drinking problem, what is your motive?

Because the person you're telling is someone who can help?

Because the person you're telling leaves their child with Person A?

Because you'd like to touch and agree for Person A's Deliverance?

Or because you just want to talk about what a shame it is?  About how Person A ought to know better?

Motive is everything.

I can get with that but the reason for this is.....

Situation:
Person A comes to Person B's house... Person A servey's Person B's house and starts to make comparisons about things in Person A's house that are better than Person B's house... The entire day Person A's is asking questions about Person B's house and when the question has been answered Person A starts again with the We have this in our house but its much bigger than theirs... We have that in our house but its a better brand than theirs.... (Myself and 3 other people were at Person B's house at the time, However Person B wasnt present during this, Person B was in another room)

I observed Person A mimicing copying acting the same way a few days lata... Well lets just say Person A hears about something Person B has done... So when Person A sees Person B, without saying anything to Person B, Person A starts to do what Person A had done and then says... that's the way its supposed to be done....

This is not the first time that I have abserved this behavior of Person A... This was just the last straw...  Now if I bring this issue to the proper people would that be gossiping....

[SisterT]

Ooooh, you gonna make me shout, right here!! 

have you noticed-----the LGM'er's don't receive those threads. And the topic starters and other "mind speakers" get defensive when we "sit the thread out". God doesn't bless mess---and that's all it is, MESS!

[sjonathan02]

have you noticed-----the LGM'er's don't receive those threads. And the topic starters and other "mind speakers" get defensive when we "sit the thread out". God doesn't bless mess---and that's all it is, MESS!

Or, they get mad when we have a good ol' fashioned BBQ during the thread or hijack it completely!! 

[HammerRock]

I can get with that but the reason for this is.....

Situation:
Person A comes to Person B's house... Person A servey's Person B's house and starts to make comparisons about things in Person A's house that are better than Person B's house... The entire day Person A's is asking questions about Person B's house and when the question has been answered Person A starts again with the We have this in our house but its much bigger than theirs... We have that in our house but its a better brand than theirs.... (Myself and 3 other people were at Person B's house at the time, However Person B wasnt present during this, Person B was in another room)

I observed Person A mimicing copying acting the same way a few days lata... Well lets just say Person A hears about something Person B has done... So when Person A sees Person B, without saying anything to Person B, Person A starts to do what Person A had done and then says... that's the way its supposed to be done....

This is not the first time that I have abserved this behavior of Person A... This was just the last straw...  Now if I bring this issue to the proper people would that be gossiping....

Nakia... I had a 'christian' friend who never had anything nice to say about anyone... always tearing people down, saying things about them, complaining about them, finding fault with everything and everybody.... well, I say had because the Lord told me to stop fellowshipping with them... at the time I didn't understand it. I would go to call them and the Lord said 'no'.

Anyway, a few weeks later, once I was out of their influence, I started growing again and really started to hear the voice of the Lord.

If this person is walking in ways where you find their fruit inedible then stop eating it. Don't partake of it. Leave the room. If you have the Spirit inside of you, you know when He's being grieved by a conversation... refuse to partake of it.

Not being there I can't offer more than that.

[SisterT]

I can get with that but the reason for this is.....

Situation:
Person A comes to Person B's house... Person A servey's Person B's house and starts to make comparisons about things in Person A's house that are better than Person B's house... The entire day Person A's is asking questions about Person B's house and when the question has been answered Person A starts again with the We have this in our house but its much bigger than theirs... We have that in our house but its a better brand than theirs.... (Myself and 3 other people were at Person B's house at the time, However Person B wasnt present during this, Person B was in another room)

I observed Person A mimicing copying acting the same way a few days lata... Well lets just say Person A hears about something Person B has done... So when Person A sees Person B, without saying anything to Person B, Person A starts to do what Person A had done and then says... that's the way its supposed to be done....

This is not the first time that I have abserved this behavior of Person A... This was just the last straw...  Now if I bring this issue to the proper people would that be gossiping....

That's not gossiping NOR speaking one's mind. That's plain ole COMPARISON & thinking Highly of Oneself than another. Nakia, you done got off your own topic. LOL! 

[im4jesus]

I'd say motive is everything.

If you're telling somebody that Person A has a drinking problem, what is your motive?

Because the person you're telling is someone who can help?

Because the person you're telling leaves their child with Person A?

Because you'd like to touch and agree for Person A's Deliverance?

Or because you just want to talk about what a shame it is?  About how Person A ought to know better?

Motive is everything.

COULDNT AGREE WITH YOU MORE...

[Nakia518]

If this person is walking in ways where you find their fruit inedible then stop eating it. Don't partake of it. Leave the room. If you have the Spirit inside of you, you know when He's being grieved by a conversation... refuse to partake of it.
Not being there I can't offer more than that.

If funny you stated this... because just yesterday I was on my way home... and I overheard a "Heated Fellowship" between to guys.. I quickly realized tht they were gay.. so I grabbed my son's hand and said lets go... i started pulling him and he asked me what was wrong... I told him that I didnt want to hear anymore of his conversation... And dont you know we are getting off the ferry to go home and this dude and his "Friend" wound up walking right beside me... I said the devil is a liar and my son and I busted out laughing...

That's not gossiping NOR speaking one's mind. That's plain ole COMPARISON & thinking Highly of Oneself than another. Nakia, you done got off your own topic. LOL! 

Person A and Person B happen to be Leaders.... Now if I bring this up to one of the leaders... would that be considered gossiping...
because I know that clearly Person A is wrong... I was contimplating how if I do happen to say something that it could easierly turn into gossip....

[SisterT]

Person A and Person B happen to be Leaders.... Now if I bring this up to one of the leaders... would that be considered gossiping...
because I know that clearly Person A is wrong... I was contimplating how if I do happen to say something that it could easierly turn into gossip....

Gossiping is when:
A) repeat information you did not hear with your own ears
B) repeat information to people who are not involved
C) Discuss sensitive information without the benefit of all being involved present

If you are going to approach one of the leaders make sure you are Spirit Lead and not Emotions led. In other words your motives must be pure. Don't do it because you are personally sick and tired of it...do it because you wish to see that other person grow in their spiritual walk with God.

Usually when we contimplating confrontation, "SELF" is still involved. Get self out of the game first.

[Nakia518]

Gossiping is when:
A) repeat information you did not hear with your own ears
B) repeat information to people who are not involved
C) Discuss sensitive information without the benefit of all being involved present

If you are going to approach one of the leaders make sure you are Spirit Lead and not Emotions led. In other words your motives must be pure. Don't do it because you are personally sick and tired of it...do it because you wish to see that other person grow in their spiritual walk with God.

Usually when we contimplating confrontation, "SELF" is still involved. Get self out of the game first.

imma just keep ma muth SHUT 
I know me... I'll wait until I am spirit led...

[nessalynn77]

I'd say motive is everything.

If you're telling somebody that Person A has a drinking problem, what is your motive?

Because the person you're telling is someone who can help?

Because the person you're telling leaves their child with Person A?

Because you'd like to touch and agree for Person A's Deliverance?

Or because you just want to talk about what a shame it is?  About how Person A ought to know better?

Motive is everything.

  You are so right, thanks for that. 

[playhear]

I only read the original post.  I don't think there's a fine line.  The line is obvious.

Here's an example:  Kyle's close friend has been arrested for some petty crime.  The general public doesn't know about the arrest.  Kyle then goes and discusses the arrest with some folks at the barber shop without the intention of finding an attorney.  That discussion is unnecessary, hurtful gossip.  Another person may claim that such a discussion is just opinion about a true event.  However, such a discussion is clearly gossip.

[nessalynn77]

I only read the original post.  I don't think there's a fine line.  The line is obvious.

Here's an example:  Kyle's close friend has been arrested for some petty crime.  The general public doesn't know about the arrest.  Kyle then goes and discusses the arrest with some folks at the barber shop without the intention of finding an attorney.  That discussion is unnecessary, hurtful gossip.  Another person may claim that such a discussion is opinion only to justify their gossip.  However, such a discussion is clearly gossip.

Maybe he was requesting prayer, LOL. 

[TheVeteran]

I agree. Brilliant!!

A lot of threads that get strated on LGM are "Speaking Minds" types of threads. The motive is not love.

Very True. 

"Hey guys, I don't want to start any trouble but, why do Pastors want all our money?"

"Hi everybody.  Question: Do you think most church folk are hypocrites?"

"I think Michael Jackson would be a GREAT elementary school soccer coach.  What do YOU think?"

"A friend of mine was on a bus and an older dude layed on top of him and molested him.  Should I tell anyone?  I'm not going to respond to any posts for a few days.  Instead I'll sit back and watch you guys passionately discuss a fictional character.  God Bless."

 

[Nakia518]

Very True. 

"Hey guys, I don't want to start any trouble but, why do Pastors want all our money?"

"Hi everybody.  Question: Do you think most church folk are hypocrites?"

"I think Michael Jackson would be a GREAT elementary school soccer coach.  What do YOU think?"

"A friend of mine was on a bus and an older dude layed on top of him and molested him.  Should I tell anyone?  I'm not going to respond to any posts for a few days.  Instead I'll sit back and watch you guys passionately discuss a fictional character.  God Bless."

 

Now I am Coining a Phrase...
BRILLIANT!!!!!!!!!!