A few things you don't want to say on LGM:
"I don't want to offend anybody but..."
"I don't want to start anything but..."
"I might get flamed for this but..."
"Hey Doubles, what did you do over the weekend?"
"Shut up Sister T"
"A funny thing happened on the way to the strip club..."
"I LOVE to transpose"
"Shut up B_Xalted"
"I hav a questian. y iz it dat I hav 2 go 2 skuul erry dey?
?
"I want to play the keyboard, but I don't like to practice. Is there a shortcut?"
Don't mention "Beyonce". T-Block will hijack your thread without notice.
Getting into denominational and doctrinal debates will bring out the Cookout Grillmaster himself.
Using poor grammar and/or incorrect spelling will cause the Grammar Wizards (Think Gandalf from Lord of the Rings....but black) to appear out of nowhere and clown you. Beware.
If you have under 100 posts, don't disagree with anything. Just Smile and Nod. 
And one thing you DEFINITELY don't want to say:
"I know of this guy who was molested by another guy who laid down on top of him on a bus while he was sleeping. What do I do? Who do I talk to? If this story turned you on, please call me at 555-........"
Let us bow....
Lord, we lift up TheVeteran to right now Lord..........
what is wrong with you? And yeah tell me to shut up... LOL... I'll do a google search on your church..... And PAYOW!!!!!! LOL...