Choir Directors I need help with a "Serious" choir problem

[Rashad]

As a Minister of Music, I can understand your frustration but we must remember we are leaders and on staff. This is where the teaching part comes in as part of a curriculum, discipline and other factors from your standpoint. Have you taught any discipline or etiquette to your ministry. If not, then it may be time.  Remember, you can't manage people, but you can manage things.  There's a two sided twist because this person may be singing from the heart and then could be singing to make way for something else they are missing in their life. Sometimes people get caught up in the church and work themselves to death in the church to fill a void they have somewhere else in their lives. But if she can sing several parts and has them correct, perhaps have her assist you in teaching parts. This is how Kevin Bond teaches you to be in working with your ministry. Use the people that have traits, or skills that can fulfill positions in your ministry to do things where you don't have to.  That way all you have left to do is your music aspect.

[KurzLand]

As a Minister of Music, I can understand your frustration but we must remember we are leaders and on staff. This is where the teaching part comes in as part of a curriculum, discipline and other factors from your standpoint. Have you taught any discipline or etiquette to your ministry. If not, then it may be time.  Remember, you can't manage people, but you can manage things.  There's a two sided twist because this person may be singing from the heart and then could be singing to make way for something else they are missing in their life. Sometimes people get caught up in the church and work themselves to death in the church to fill a void they have somewhere else in their lives. But if she can sing several parts and has them correct, perhaps have her assist you in teaching parts. This is how Kevin Bond teaches you to be in working with your ministry. Use the people that have traits, or skills that can fulfill positions in your ministry to do things where you don't have to.  That way all you have left to do is your music aspect.

That's another option sure, but he says she is distracting. Meaning instead of helping she in bugging.

Teaching dicipline is fine but not everyone is mature, espeacially in the music ministry, to follow. 

Good options though.

Here is what I think: Fire her! She can't follow basic rules, she can't be in the choir.

[luv4muzik]

PRAY AND GOD WILL WORK IT OUT IF YOU LET HIM

[kbennett]

I have read everyone's comments and I can understand why this person is an issue in the choir.  She wants to be a  star from what I can tell. The choir is not the place for star search auditions. I too have dealt with insubordination and trust me you must be prayerful. But the main thing is not to let someone know they are getting under your skin.  Does your choir have rules and guidelines that outline disrespectful behavior and the consequences. That's the problem with most choirs, they have no rules so when things like this happen you really don't know what to do. The next time she does it I'd let her have her solo. I' agree with the boycott let her go for it.  Maybe that will give her what it is she wants. You try so hard not to lose people. Smile it's going to be fine.

[LadyOfVirtue]

Hebrews 13:17

Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls, as they that must give account, that they may do it with joy, and not with grief: for that is unprofitable for you.

SIT HER TAIL DOWN...

I bet she wouldn't stand up and take over your Pastor's sermon if the "SPIRIT" hit her would she?

She is OUT OF ORDER. SHE IS SEEKING ATTENTION AND IS MORE INTERESTED IN BEING SEEN AND HEARD THEN FOLLOWING.

1 Col 14:33

For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace, as in all churches of the saints.


MrSparrow

I've had the pleasure of reading several of the responses, and am shocked at a few of them.  Mr. Sparrow I agree with most of what you said however, the passage you speak of comes from  1 Cor 14:33 "For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace, as in all churches of the saints." It also says in 1 Cor 14:40 "Let all things be done decently and in order." .. A choir promotes Unity which means oneness, you can't be one if there is any one person who stands out. That includes singing out of turn and place, rocking the wrong way and etc..  When the choir began these things should have been established which would have promoted order. Since they weren't there is no time like the present. At your next rehearsal you should present some rules already written up, with the actions that will follow if the rules aren't met and have each member sign it.  If they truly are singing for the Glory of the Lord and not themselves or man then they won't have a problem signing it, if they don't sign it excuse them from the choir. Your choir should have standards because not only do they misrepresent themselves if something is foul about them but they misrepresent there church, pastor, and the kingdom of God.  Many are called but few are chosen.  It should be automatic that people would want to get the full Glory of God, and you can not do that by doing things indecently. Your Choir is a very strong ministry for the broken hearted, wounded, unsaved and etc... When you stand in front of people don't think that they can't see that your choir has issues because you can tell or most of us can. You can see when your not all on one accord. I apologize in advance if anything I have said was offensive to anyone, that was not my intent. I pray that you get the answers you seek. May God continue to Bless you all.

Peace, Grace, and Mercy,
Tae

[sellis9844]

Hello,

This is the first time I have replied to a posting but this one is true issue.  I have faced this situation many times at my church only to be told that the person was being led by the spirit.  Apparently their own spirit and not the Spirit of God.  As stated previously, God does not author confusion and all things should be done decent and in order.  I would simply ask you to ask the choir member this.  Is God leading you to be contrary to His will?  God has directed the pastor to place you in charge and God directs you to do His will concerning the choir.  So exactly how is God directing her to act of His will when it comes to the choir?  He cannot be be simply put.  A house divided against itself cannot stand.  Also, I would say if you have written bylaws or choir rules and regulations that you remind her of them and the actions you can take concerning this situation with her.  Please be blessed and allow God to lead in you in the right way.

[KurzLand]

I've had the pleasure of reading several of the responses, and am shocked at a few of them. 

Are you SHOCKED at mine?

[pianofingers21]

Well, I've been MOM for the last 4-5 years (altho you couldn't tell it from my picture) I should really put a new one up. I look SO young in that one. But anyway, i'm getting off track.

I'm 22 and I've been working with our choir/praise team for quite some time, and i had a similar problem once. And the way I corrected it was this. I simply said its my way, or the highway. The church board voted me in, and with that came a certain level of trust, and even power you might say.  I run the worship service and what I say goes. I figure if the pastor doesn't like it, then He has to go to the church board and get the problem taken care of.  So I simply said its my way, or the highway.

The choir member involved didn't like that so he ran to the pastor and the pastor didn't like it either. But, I told him the same thing. You helped put me into this position, and you have to trust my leadership and judgment just as I have to trust yours. End of story.

After that meeting, I have never had one moments trouble with the pastor OR with any other choir members. AND the particular choir member mentioned has accepted their place in the choir and is now doing rather well.

...its something to try.

[blkmusicman]

I've been away for a while and didn't have access to a computer.  Thanks for all of the responses.  One must really be prayerful when working with individuals.