I hear you.
I'm all for self suffienency. What I'm saying is that it's extremely easy for someone just to 'show' you how it goes (read: learn by rote), than it is for you to learn how to read the pattern from a rudiment chart (again, just get some information on reading and understanding note values). What's wrong with learning it the old fashioned way? That's the equivalent of being able to speak, but not being able to read. Sure, somone taught you how to construct sentences verbally, but when it's time to read a document, you can't, because that important rudimentary skill set was not taught to you. In essence, that limits what you are able to do.
It totally negates self suffiency if things are always shown to you. You're only able to learn new things provided that it's 'shown' to you, other than just getting more rudiment charts and learning them the real way.