Step Children & Parents

[keptbyJesus]

Hey fam, I have a few questions.  This may have been talked about when we had the relationship room, but I don't know.  I'm not trying to get in ya business, just wondering. lol

To the people who are step parents and your husband/wife or boyfriend/girlfriend has a child/children. 

#1: How did/did the two of you come up with disciplinary actions? For example, do you allow your mate to discipline (punshisment, spanking, verbal talking to etc.) "your child/children" or is it "I discipline mine and you discipline yours"? 

#2: Do you get along with your step-children or step-parent?

[SisterT]

#1: How did/did the two of you come up with disciplinary actions? For example, do you allow your mate to discipline (punshisment, spanking, verbal talking to etc.) "your child/children" or is it "I discipline mine and you discipline yours"?  
When they are at my home, they live by our rules...when they are at their other parent's home, they live by those house rules. We decided together the disciplinary actions, but we allow the "blood" parent to administer the judgment. HOWEVER, sometimes, circumstances nessecitates the step-parent to render ruling.

The children must see that the parents are a united front. Kids are manipulators, so if they see a crack in your wall, they will try to bring you down.


#2: Do you get along with your step-children or step-parent?
We have a wonderful relationship with our kids. Each set of parents dont's get along, but we have a good, respectful relationship with all of our kids. I think what helo is the fact that we didn't force the kids to accept the new parent. We demanded respect, but we allowed the child to work out their own feelings.

[changedman]

Well, this may be a little off-subject, but...

When my mom re-married, my stepfather said (in the dating phase), "I can tell that oldest boy of yours is gonna be a major problem".  Why?  Because I was with my mom when my dad beat her for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and I was determined that NO OTHER MAN was ever gonna make my mom's face bleed again...NOT ON MY WATCH (I said that long before George Bush made it famous).

They married in 1984, and he has been nothing but good to her.  That made me slack up a little....VERY LITTLE.

But my stepfather and I just became "close close" last year!!!

A major blowup was going on at GPHMBC and he immediately jumped up to the plate and went toe-to-toe with Ex-Pastor Granddaddy and some deacons about how they were treating me. 

When they got home, my mom told him that "we never have family blow ups in front of the church members...those are usually handled behind closed doors....to present a united front" and boy did he let her have it about "seeing your own son being walked over and done wrong but scared to speak up because it's your father who's doing it"!

From car repair, to giving me money "just because", and more, he has proven to be more of a dad to me than my blood father...and our situation is one that has taken almost 20 GOOD years to develop!

It was that experience that made me see my stepfather as more ALLY than ENEMY and we are SUPER-COOL to this day.  He got more gifts from me than my mom this Christmas, and stubborn-tail Herman is now PRAYING and THANKING GOD that this man is a part of our family.









OH YEAH....and HIS form of discipline ain't that bad either.  When I lived at home, he used to give my sister and me allowance ($25 a week each).  If you did something wrong, it was knocked down to $15 (-$10 for the first offense, and -$5 for all the others until it got down to 0).

As a senior in high school, lunch only cost $1...who cared if I had $15 or $20!?  LOL!!!!!

[mr.dj]

Hey fam, I have a few questions.  This may have been talked about when we had the relationship room, but I don't know.  I'm not trying to get in ya business, just wondering. lol

To the people who are step parents and your husband/wife or boyfriend/girlfriend has a child/children. 

#1: How did/did the two of you come up with disciplinary actions? For example, do you allow your mate to discipline (punshisment, spanking, verbal talking to etc.) "your child/children" or is it "I discipline mine and you discipline yours"? 

#2: Do you get along with your step-children or step-parent?

#1 My Dad would let my step mother punish my brother and I but he couldn't punish her son who is a year younger than my brother.

#2 I don't get along with my dads wife(stepmother) ever since they started dating we have not liked each other. We don't even speak to each other, this has been our relationship for the last 13 years.