My brothers, please tell me why!

[temejo1]

Why is it that:
1. when a guy talks to me, he thinks telling me "i like big women" will get him in the door?
2. guys think just because a woman is plus sized, she will take any man?
3. an intelligent, nice-looking woman (such as myself  ) that is independent has a hard time getting a date?
4. guys think I'm lonely just because I'm alone (or without a man)?
5. guys knock on my door unannounced (and uninvited) thinking they can come in?

Does being an intelligent, nice-looking, independent, plus-sized single mother make me a target for those men who just want to "get their's"? UGGGGGGHH!!!!!

[changedman]

Get THEIRS?  Wow. I could ask a question right there which would be lawful in answering the question but probably not expedient.

[temejo1]

Get THEIRS?  Wow. I could ask a question right there which would be lawful in answering the question but probably not expedient.

It's the medication mixed with frustration!!

[under13]

I cant wait to see the responses to this thread.

I think there is a stereotype that, "plus sized" women are lonely and desperate for a man. Yall brothers know that (back in your unsaved days), yall could call a fat chicks house at 3am asking can you come over, and she'd let you. Try that with a skinny chick and you gettin cursed out.

Me personally I'm not physicaly atracted to any girl heavier than me. (230 lbs) Just my preference, I'm not dating no woman who can beat me up.   And on the other hand, I'm not physically atractted to a woman who is super skinny.

Maybe you are looking for men in the wrong places. And if you arent looking for a man, then you might wanna buy a wedding ring to wear, to pretend you are married. (not that most men care theese days)

[ddw4e]

Why is it that:
1. when a guy talks to me, he thinks telling me "i like big women" will get him in the door?
2. guys think just because a woman is plus sized, she will take any man?
3. an intelligent, nice-looking woman (such as myself  ) that is independent has a hard time getting a date?
4. guys think I'm lonely just because I'm alone (or without a man)?
5. guys knock on my door unannounced (and uninvited) thinking they can come in?

Does being an intelligent, nice-looking, independent, plus-sized single mother make me a target for those men who just want to "get their's"? UGGGGGGHH!!!!!

Sorry T, I didn't know that line will not work for you..should've just told me! (j/k)

As for #5 that's a scary picture right there. Down right dangerous.

[temejo1]

Sorry T, I didn't know that line will not work for you..should've just told me! (j/k)

As for #5 that's a scary picture right there. Down right dangerous.

LOL...nah, don't tell me you like big girls. I'll respond by saying something like, "That's good. When you find one, I hope she'll be able to deal with you."

The guys that come know me and I know them. They know I don't let guys in my house, but for some reason, they seem to think because I've know them most of their lives, they can just show up.

[chevonee]

*walks in the room and begins to read*
"Oh Jesus"

[temejo1]

I cant wait to see the responses to this thread.

I think there is a stereotype that, "plus sized" women are lonely and desperate for a man. Yall brothers know that (back in your unsaved days), yall could call a fat chicks house at 3am asking can you come over, and she'd let you. Try that with a skinny chick and you gettin cursed out.

Me personally I'm not physicaly atracted to any girl heavier than me. (230 lbs) Just my preference, I'm not dating no woman who can beat me up.   And on the other hand, I'm not physically atractted to a woman who is super skinny.

Maybe you are looking for men in the wrong places. And if you arent looking for a man, then you might wanna buy a wedding ring to wear, to pretend you are married. (not that most men care theese days)

IRT the bold...talk about stereotypes!!! Just because a woman is plus-sized, doesn't mean she can beat up everybody. And for the record, I don't go looking for men. But, I don't wanna lie about being married.

[temejo1]

*walks in the room and begins to read*
"Oh Jesus"

What? LOL

[under13]

IRT the bold...talk about stereotypes!!! Just because a woman is plus-sized, doesn't mean she can beat up everybody. And for the record, I don't go looking for men. But, I don't wanna lie about being married.

I've seen enpough big girls, beat up grown men

You gotta see this video of a large woman beatin the mess out of this little dude

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SNEwHUqXt0I

Some times you will find what you want/need when you arent looking.

Just tell the dude, that you aint interested, and hopefully they wont bother you any longer. And if he doesnt get your point, then you may have to just embaress him

[MUNCHY]

Why is it that:
1. when a guy talks to me, he thinks telling me "i like big women" will get him in the door?
2. guys think just because a woman is plus sized, she will take any man?
3. an intelligent, nice-looking woman (such as myself  ) that is independent has a hard time getting a date?
4. guys think I'm lonely just because I'm alone (or without a man)?
5. guys knock on my door unannounced (and uninvited) thinking they can come in?

Does being an intelligent, nice-looking, independent, plus-sized single mother make me a target for those men who just want to "get their's"? UGGGGGGHH!!!!!

I'll take this one question at a time.  These answers are coming from me and I am revealing to you the things that I have heard and seen in my circles.  This is not about every guy.

1.  Guys are stupid and assume that they need to say that to a "big" woman because they think you have low self-esteem.  When the truth is they are the ones with the low self-esteem.  Plus, you know what happens when you assume... A$% out of "u" and "me".
2.  Low self-esteem thing again here.  Not a very smart move but reality.
3.  (We are all friends here, right?)  an intelligent, nice-looking woman (such as yourself  ) that is independent has a hard time getting a date not because you are intelligent, nice-looking and independent, it might be something else.  I know this is crazy but ask one of the fellas that took you out and is now not with you.  Ask what was it about you.  He might say something worth your time.  Then again he might not... what really matters is that you KNOW what the truth is and WHO the truth is (especially about yourself)
4.  Assuming thing again.
5.  This unannounced thing is a boundaries issue.  My question is have you ever allowed somebody in before (unannounced)?  If you have, maybe it started a trend.  If not, I say don't even open the door for that mess.  Let the door hit them where the good Lord split them.

Again, just my opinion here.  This coming from a guy who's been married almost 10 years but prior to that was guilty of above crimes, a guy who hung out with dudes who were guilty of the above crimes and a guy who is now ministering and mentoring dudes who are guilty of the above crimes.

PEACE

BTW... Is that you on that cover of vogue?

[Iamluv]

Why is it that:
1. when a guy talks to me, he thinks telling me "i like big women" will get him in the door?
2. guys think just because a woman is plus sized, she will take any man?
3. an intelligent, nice-looking woman (such as myself  ) that is independent has a hard time getting a date?
4. guys think I'm lonely just because I'm alone (or without a man)?
5. guys knock on my door unannounced (and uninvited) thinking they can come in?

Does being an intelligent, nice-looking, independent, plus-sized single mother make me a target for those men who just want to "get their's"? UGGGGGGHH!!!!!

I, understand your frustration my Sister....been there and done that!  It's because they think we're desperate and not desirous.  When someone approaches me, with that ''mess'', I act as though I, don't even hear them. At my age, I just don't have a lot of tolerence for the game talk....

[sjonathan02]

I'll take this one question at a time.  These answers are coming from me and I am revealing to you the things that I have heard and seen in my circles.  This is not about every guy.

1.  Guys are stupid and assume that they need to say that to a "big" woman because they think you have low self-esteem.  When the truth is they are the ones with the low self-esteem.  Plus, you know what happens when you assume... A$% out of "u" and "me".
2.  Low self-esteem thing again here.  Not a very smart move but reality.
3.  (We are all friends here, right?)  an intelligent, nice-looking woman (such as yourself  ) that is independent has a hard time getting a date not because you are intelligent, nice-looking and independent, it might be something else.  I know this is crazy but ask one of the fellas that took you out and is now not with you.  Ask what was it about you.  He might say something worth your time.  Then again he might not... what really matters is that you KNOW what the truth is and WHO the truth is (especially about yourself)
4.  Assuming thing again.
5.  This unannounced thing is a boundaries issue.  My question is have you ever allowed somebody in before (unannounced)?  If you have, maybe it started a trend.  If not, I say don't even open the door for that mess.  Let the door hit them where the good Lord split them.

Again, just my opinion here.  This coming from a guy who's been married almost 10 years but prior to that was guilty of above crimes, a guy who hung out with dudes who were guilty of the above crimes and a guy who is now ministering and mentoring dudes who are guilty of the above crimes.

PEACE

BTW... Is that you on that cover of vogue?

Excellent post.

[changedman]

Well....Let me try this way....sometimes people do to us what we allow them to or what previous actions have suggested are okay.  Notice I said sometimes.  It's best when we take our hands off and let God do God. After reading this I truly hope you find whatever it is you're looking for.

[uriahsmusic]

...I think that the only thing that sets this discussion apart from any other discussion of this type is that you have determined that your size has something to do with it.

I personally have interviewed dogs and can tell you that a mans need to get his has nothing to do with you or your characteristics personally!

Though most dogs look for women with kids cuz they figure they wont need to beg too much for "theirs"...due to the thought that they have done it before so they must want to do  more!

The line about Big Women just proves my point....and ask Monique the comedian for setting the stage for the big girl lines...or maybe the movie Waiting to Ex hail!!!....The thought that Big Girls are self conscious is not necessarily a myth....just as are many Big men.

No matter what size you are people assume that if you dont have a mate...you cant get one or something is wrong with you....

The unannounced thing is only done because you allow it...Dont let them in and they will stop...Just tell them nicely....What I do is tell people that I meet how I work...If I give you my # and you call...but cant reach me...it is not because I am not there!...It's because I dont want to be reached..so please dont take it personally...that is why I dont have a cell or a pager...If I wanted you to to see me...YOU WOULD SEE ME!

Summarized...DOGS are DOGS....dont personalize it!........Live a good life anyway.....

[LaylaMonroe]

I never would've guessed that you're "plus-sized." 

I can't answer your questions, because I'm not a guy... lol.  Sounds to me like some guys are just dumb. 

[2KlubKlarity]

Why is it that:
1. when a guy talks to me, he thinks telling me "i like big women" will get him in the door?
2. guys think just because a woman is plus sized, she will take any man?
3. an intelligent, nice-looking woman (such as myself  ) that is independent has a hard time getting a date?
4. guys think I'm lonely just because I'm alone (or without a man)?
5. guys knock on my door unannounced (and uninvited) thinking they can come in?

Does being an intelligent, nice-looking, independent, plus-sized single mother make me a target for those men who just want to "get their's"? UGGGGGGHH!!!!!

I sort of hinted at this in the things that gets on my nerve thread! I totally wan't gonna come in here, but glad I did! 20 thumbs up sis!

[2KlubKlarity]

I sort of hinted at this in the things that gets on my nerve thread! I totally wasn't gonna come in here, but glad I did! 20 thumbs up sis!

oops!

But really, I am know I am beautiful, young plus size woman (if ya didn't know, my big head should have gave it away...lol) but seriously, guys just assume I am lonely and it is causing frustration!

[ILive2WorshipHim]

Why is it that:
1. when a guy talks to me, he thinks telling me "i like big women" will get him in the door?
2. guys think just because a woman is plus sized, she will take any man?
3. an intelligent, nice-looking woman (such as myself  ) that is independent has a hard time getting a date?
4. guys think I'm lonely just because I'm alone (or without a man)?
5. guys knock on my door unannounced (and uninvited) thinking they can come in?

Does being an intelligent, nice-looking, independent, plus-sized single mother make me a target for those men who just want to "get their's"? UGGGGGGHH!!!!!

Girl you betta preach on 1 and 2...

"Yeah baby ... u know i love me a big woman"

Im like ok... now what if i walked up on a man ... "yeah...boo ... u know i love me some tall average to a little thick men..."... thats too much

[2KlubKlarity]

Girl you betta preach on 1 and 2...

"Yeah baby ... u know i love me a big woman"

Im like ok... now what if i walked up on a man ... "yeah...boo ... u know i love me some tall average to a little thick men..."... thats too much

HA...you funny!