What can we married folks do to keep........................?

[sjonathan02]

....I am dead serious!....Unfortunately because most women dont believe what I just said...They wind up with straying hubbies!....If you take care of your men in those ways ...he will take care of you...or at least try!
Most men are like little pets...they dont need much...so while you are confusing your version of his needs with what he really needs....he is out subliminally looking for the basics to be fulfilled.....and all the time wondering why you dont get it!
.....Women need to read the book about men from Mars and women from Venus....(might be the other way around)....Just cuz you think my answer isnt Politically correct....or Sensitive enough for the modern woman doesn't mean it isnt dead on point....

.....Women...you want to keep your man....Treat him like the base animal that he is....get the Basics right...(ask grandma..she had it right!)...and the rest will follow!....Remember men are like little puppy dogs....feed em....rub their belly and dont yell at em....and he will obey!...get any of those wrong...and expect to get bit!

It's gonna be so great when your posts include a version of the following phrase: "Well, this is what works for me."

*smh*

[elio]

I hope this isn't your recipe for marital sucess...please tell me you're kidding           

Vonne, uriah's got it right (at least for me).
I've been married 10 years and what I need is what Chris Rock said.
Nothing fancy, but when I come home I want rest. And I don't mean physical rest - I am quite happy to cook or wash the dishes. I mean emotional rest. Hearing what so-and-so did to her cousin's hairdresser's neighbor matters to me up to a certain point. I need Silence. Sex and Supper are more of the same, basic needs.
Give those to me and I'll do anything.

I make the same mistake in reverse, though. I think that by fulfilling my wife's basic needs she'll be ok like I am when she fulfills mine. That's not enough, though - but that's another story.

Well, this is what works for me.

[nessalynn77]

The average man and the average woman are so vastly different.  IMO, it's a miracle when it works, really something special.  If you have it, do everything you can to keep it going, because I've found it's quite rare.

[LaylaMonroe]

The average man and the average woman are so vastly different.  IMO, it's a miracle when it works, really something special.  If you have it, do everything you can to keep it going, because I've found it's quite rare.

That's quite a gem, Nessa.

COSIGN.

[uriahsmusic]

The average man and the average woman are so vastly different.  IMO, it's a miracle when it works, really something special.  If you have it, do everything you can to keep it going, because I've found it's quite rare.

...They have always been different but up till the recent past, women were content with the notion that the man was the stronger vessel and that he was the head of the wife....now the rolls have reversed and women seek their own satisfaction and to lead the man. I think (outside of it being Biblical or not) the adjustment period that societies go through is disastrous for the institutions that are in place like marriage and family structure. But in the future I can see it working because men will have adapted and marriages will have no head. I dont even think women will bare children naturally.

[LaylaMonroe]

As much as I hate to say it, I don't really think Uriah and his cosigner are that far off... 

I'm not crazy about the way he worded it, and I don't like the fact that he submits his personal experiences/opinions as facts that apply to everyone, but if you can get past the "bones" (as SJ would put it), what he's saying isn't really that absurd.  Many relationship experts and psychologists agree with him, too.  I've heard many experts generalize, saying that the average man simply wants love, food, respect, sex, and peace.  While women tend to want security, conversation, sex, compassion, attention, and all sorts of other things.  It has been said that what men want is tangible, what women want is the intangible.  Of course, this doesn't apply to ALL men or ALL women (and that, IMO, is where Uriah went wrong), but it is the case for a great many, according to relationship experts.

I especially agree with the notion that in the future, men will have adapted and marriages will have no head.  That has already begun now, as has the practice of women bearing children unnaturally.

[chevonee]

....I am dead serious!....Unfortunately because most women dont believe what I just said...They wind up with straying hubbies!....If you take care of your men in those ways ...he will take care of you...or at least try!
Most men are like little pets...they dont need much...so while you are confusing your version of his needs with what he really needs....he is out subliminally looking for the basics to be fulfilled.....and all the time wondering why you dont get it!
.....Women need to read the book about men from Mars and women from Venus....(might be the other way around)....Just cuz you think my answer isnt Politically correct....or Sensitive enough for the modern woman doesn't mean it isnt dead on point....

.....Women...you want to keep your man....Treat him like the base animal that he is....get the Basics right...(ask grandma..she had it right!)...and the rest will follow!....Remember men are like little puppy dogs....feed em....rub their belly and dont yell at em....and he will obey!...get any of those wrong...and expect to get bit!

If that's what you do in your marriage that's fine.....but to make a woman cook, have sex, and keep silent sounds like the dark ages to me. Why would a woman want to get married just to still be alone. Your man don't wanna talk to ya...he just wants you to slave...GIMME A BREAK!!!

Again, if that works for you and your cosigner..MO PAHBAH TO YALL but thank God that my husband allows me to be who I am....

[blkerr1117]

Okay, I've been married 34 years.  It hasn't always been easy, in fact it's been pretty tough, and still is sometimes.  Luckily I'm kind of passive and she's very overpowering.  It's good to be different - especially in a marriage.

Some advice I've given my son-in-laws, as my daughters who are all head strong, just like their mother, is to learn that we are all totally different.  We can't always win every disagreement, we can't always have the last word, we have to be concerned about feelings and future.

Always listen with your heart, try to listen very little with your ears.  My wife says things that blow me away sometimes, but when we finally discuss the situation it's always "what I meant to say was" so now I try to listen with my heart to her heart - not how it's coming out of her mouth.

I can't tell you how she's put up with me over the years, but I know she's had quite a difficult task - although I think I'm an OK kinda guy I know I have failures, bad habits and an overall lack of concern in alot of areas.

Always remember that even though the grass may look greener on the other side, that eventually it will dry up, turn brown and wither away.

I find it much easier to work on what I have, both of us knowing our short comings, than trying to start over again.

[elio]

If that's what you do in your marriage that's fine.....but to make a woman cook, have sex, and keep silent sounds like the dark ages to me.

That's not quite what I meant, and I apologize if it came over that way.
What I did mean was that the things that I crave are, as LaRue eloquently puts it, "tangible"; the things that my wife craves are "intangible".
My wife is a strong, independent, confident woman, she speaks her mind whenever she wants to, and we share the responsibilities of raising a young family - we're nowhere near the dark ages - the picture that the sentence above paints does not quite apply to us.
That, however, does not negate the fact that my needs in my own relationship might be of the more "basic" and "material" variety.... 

[LaylaMonroe]

Okay, I've been married 34 years.  It hasn't always been easy, in fact it's been pretty tough, and still is sometimes.  Luckily I'm kind of passive and she's very overpowering.  It's good to be different - especially in a marriage.

Some advice I've given my son-in-laws, as my daughters who are all head strong, just like their mother, is to learn that we are all totally different.  We can't always win every disagreement, we can't always have the last word, we have to be concerned about feelings and future.

Always listen with your heart, try to listen very little with your ears.  My wife says things that blow me away sometimes, but when we finally discuss the situation it's always "what I meant to say was" so now I try to listen with my heart to her heart - not how it's coming out of her mouth.

I can't tell you how she's put up with me over the years, but I know she's had quite a difficult task - although I think I'm an OK kinda guy I know I have failures, bad habits and an overall lack of concern in alot of areas.

Always remember that even though the grass may look greener on the other side, that eventually it will dry up, turn brown and wither away.

I find it much easier to work on what I have, both of us knowing our short comings, than trying to start over again.

That was a blessing, especially the part in bold.  Thanks so much for sharing your experience, and kudos to you for 34 years!!!! 

[chevonee]

Okay, I've been married 34 years.  It hasn't always been easy, in fact it's been pretty tough, and still is sometimes.  Luckily I'm kind of passive and she's very overpowering.  It's good to be different - especially in a marriage.

Some advice I've given my son-in-laws, as my daughters who are all head strong, just like their mother, is to learn that we are all totally different.  We can't always win every disagreement, we can't always have the last word, we have to be concerned about feelings and future.

Always listen with your heart, try to listen very little with your ears.  My wife says things that blow me away sometimes, but when we finally discuss the situation it's always "what I meant to say was" so now I try to listen with my heart to her heart - not how it's coming out of her mouth.

I can't tell you how she's put up with me over the years, but I know she's had quite a difficult task - although I think I'm an OK kinda guy I know I have failures, bad habits and an overall lack of concern in alot of areas.

Always remember that even though the grass may look greener on the other side, that eventually it will dry up, turn brown and wither away.

I find it much easier to work on what I have, both of us knowing our short comings, than trying to start over again.

YOU ARE MY HERO!!! It is so refreshing to hear from a person who's already been where we're trying to go. 34 years???? WOW!!! What a mighty God we serve. God bless you Sir and may your marriage be blessed and everything else. Thank you so so so much!!

[uriahsmusic]

If that's what you do in your marriage that's fine.....but to make a woman cook, have sex, and keep silent sounds like the dark ages to me. Why would a woman want to get married just to still be alone. Your man don't wanna talk to ya...he just wants you to slave...GIMME A BREAK!!!

Again, if that works for you and your cosigner..MO PAHBAH TO YALL but thank God that my husband allows me to be who I am....

....no one wants the woman to be silent...but the endless yapping and nagging and pushing and required listening..is just intolerable!...

[sjonathan02]

....no one wants the woman to be silent...but the endless yapping and nagging and pushing and required listening..is just intolerable!...

Then tell YOUR wife to stop. And, STOP assuming that other men's wives do that.

I present for YOUR viewing pleasure, Exhibit A:

Okay, I've been married 34 years.  It hasn't always been easy, in fact it's been pretty tough, and still is sometimes.  Luckily I'm kind of passive and she's very overpowering.  It's good to be different - especially in a marriage.

Some advice I've given my son-in-laws, as my daughters who are all head strong, just like their mother, is to learn that we are all totally different.  We can't always win every disagreement, we can't always have the last word, we have to be concerned about feelings and future.

Always listen with your heart, try to listen very little with your ears.  My wife says things that blow me away sometimes, but when we finally discuss the situation it's always "what I meant to say was" so now I try to listen with my heart to her heart - not how it's coming out of her mouth.

I can't tell you how she's put up with me over the years, but I know she's had quite a difficult task - although I think I'm an OK kinda guy I know I have failures, bad habits and an overall lack of concern in alot of areas.

Always remember that even though the grass may look greener on the other side, that eventually it will dry up, turn brown and wither away.

I find it much easier to work on what I have, both of us knowing our short comings, than trying to start over again.

For the part in bold:

[chevonee]

Then tell YOUR wife to stop. And, STOP assuming that other men's wives do that.

I present for YOUR viewing pleasure, Exhibit A:

For the part in bold:

AMEN SJON....AAAaaaaaaaaaaamen!!!!!!

....no one wants the woman to be silent...but the endless yapping and nagging and pushing and required listening..is just intolerable!...

No one wants a man to yap and nag either my friend. Either way, marriage is a two-sided thing...both parties must respect each other PERIOD! No need to fight over whether its a man or woman, the only thing we need to know is what God says. Marriages are ruined everyday because the woman wants to take the womans side and the man wants to take the mans side. There should be only one side.... GOD'S SIDE!!!

[Veign]

bah, why would anyone want to get married? crazy peeps yo

[nessalynn77]

bah, why would anyone want to get married? crazy peeps yo

LOL!!! This had me dyin'!

I could just see you sittin' on that piano talkin' bout, "long as I got my music, who needs marriage?"  LOL!!

[uriahsmusic]

AMEN SJON....AAAaaaaaaaaaaamen!!!!!!




No one wants a man to yap and nag either my friend. Either way, marriage is a two-sided thing...both parties must respect each other PERIOD! No need to fight over whether its a man or woman, the only thing we need to know is what God says. Marriages are ruined everyday because the woman wants to take the womans side and the man wants to take the mans side. There should be only one side.... GOD'S SIDE!!!

..Say what you will...I speak from many mens points of view!...I have had the opportunity to interview many men who wanted advice and I stick by what I say.....and that Gods Way remark should be taken with care because it is the departure from Gods way that has put marriage where it is today!...

Gods way doesnt allow women the right to be the head of her husband or even equal!...Marriage is NOT equality....it is a lovely notion...but God set the order and obviously TODAY we dispute it!....Those societies that take heed to GODS order in Marriage dont have this ridiculous divorce rate!

....So statements like GODS WAY should not be stated lightly!.....Maybe it would be nice if you stated what you mean by Gods way!!!....then Match it up against the WORD!

[~aLl_Gr0wN_uP~]

NOTE: I don't want you to talk about what you do in the bed room...

[chevonee]

..Say what you will...I speak from many mens points of view!...I have had the opportunity to interview many men who wanted advice and I stick by what I say.....and that Gods Way remark should be taken with care because it is the departure from Gods way that has put marriage where it is today!...

Gods way doesnt allow women the right to be the head of her husband or even equal!...Marriage is NOT equality....it is a lovely notion...but God set the order and obviously TODAY we dispute it!....Those societies that take heed to GODS order in Marriage dont have this ridiculous divorce rate!

....So statements like GODS WAY should not be stated lightly!.....Maybe it would be nice if you stated what you mean by Gods way!!!....then Match it up against the WORD!

Ain't no harm done man....do you really think that I'm going to get in a back and forth with you about what you do or don't know? Of course not, I don't question what you know and who you've spoken to. If what I said offended you then I'm sorry. That's all I'll say because we've already misunderstood each other enough. I'm sorry...forgive me.

[uriahsmusic]

Ain't no harm done man....do you really think that I'm going to get in a back and forth with you about what you do or don't know? Of course not, I don't question what you know and who you've spoken to. If what I said offended you then I'm sorry. That's all I'll say because we've already misunderstood each other enough. I'm sorry...forgive me.

...I aint mad at ya!...I just get coo-coo when people say GODS WAY and the scriptures arent right behind it!...There is this dude...oops...Preacher on TV  that always shoves Gods Way down your throat as if his scripture is the only one in the word!....and then Gods Way never interferes with his walk...only yours!...Makes me fume!