i dont think i did too well.
first off the setup was insanely ridiculous. so u have the big choir stand facing out to the audience. if your sitting on the first row facing out to the audience you have from left to right, the organ leslie, the drums (facing the right), the organ facing the right, in the middle a space for the director and to go down into the pulpit, then the keyboards facing the left then a grand piano. plus there were monitors all about. i was on the side with the leslie and its loud, insanely loud. the bass guy brings a PA amp and sets up right behind the leslie.
the musical was nice indeed. wonderful. the bass player that said we were gonna alternate songs, which we did in rehearsal, wanted to play all the songs, which i knew was gonna happen, i had that feeling (it was either the holy spirit or me just getting burned on that one too many times). so needless to say the songs i was practicing i didnt play.
they called the youth choir and i got to play but my bass for some reason didnt feel right. since the sound was setup for the other guys bass, i had my volume all the way up and i couldnt really hear it (and my fender is hot, so i dont know what the deal is with that) plus i had to stand right behind the leslie which is right beside the drummer. and the organist wants to play bass (ALL OF A SUDDEN!!). the first song was not good and i hate standing while i play but i had to (i guess thats why it felt off) but when i dont get enough volume i tend to pluck the strings harder to get more volume which slows me down and makes me sloppy. and the second song the organist was playing wrong and it was just clashing (he was clashing with himself and the keyboardist so at that point i stopped playing) but then it picked up and he was playing bass and since i was so low it was like it was pointless for me to even be playing. and then when the song is done and people going into worship, he wants to get all fancy and flashy so i just unhooked my bass and went back to where i was before i hooked up to play. but i shouldve known. u got a musical, u got musicians showing off. sometimes i question am i really meant to do this because i just dont fit in.
why cant i go play and just have a good experience? is it not meant to be? is this stress supposed to make me better? it was late going home and on the train ride home my brother said he was going to bed as soon as he got in his house. i told him, "u know exactly what im going to be doing" and he said "going over those songs u played tonight" and i said "yeah".
im going tonight because im the backup, so i might not even play. but im going to be a diligent backup and maybe, just maybe (even if it feels like powerball lottery odds) God will bless me in this whole music thing. i truly feel so discouraged, but maybe every bad experience (which has been all of them) is going to mean something positive one day.
