What do I do?!

[Brittsings87]

 What do you do if one of your choir members who hardly knows anything about music, tries to tell you how to run your choir?! Like telling you what songs should be song, how they should be song, who should sing, who shouldn't sing, when to sing and etc.?!

[under13]

Are you the leader? If so, then you should be making the final decisions. Its not gonna work, having two leaders with opposing views. You may just have to tell this person to sit down and shut up or get the stepping. (I'm sure you can express it in a nicer way than I).

In this ministry as a choir director, you are gonna have to avoid making it a democracy. That dosnt mean that you shouldnt have a knoledgable person to give you a second opinion, but dont let the group have to much input or let them run over you. You have to make them respect you , while at the same time not coming off as mean rude or arrogant.

WARNING: RANTING BELOW

I'm kinda going through something like this, I'm a musician for a new group and the leader just thinks she knows it all, when it comes to gospel music. Now I dont wanna come off as if I know it all (cuz i dont), but some things that they wanna do are just plain wrong. When I give them criiticism, she says I'm grouchy. No i'm not grouchy its just that we have to minister the next day and yall sound corny and are not siinging to your potential. After rehearsing the same songs for the past 2 months I dont think its too much to ask for them to be confident with thier parts and not make the same mistakes. They got one more time to make me look bad, before I quit.

Like I said, I'm not the best musician or the most knoledgable about music, but i've seen enough gospel groups, to know what sounds wack, and what sounds good.

Thay are nice people, and I've grown kinda close to them, but I rufuse to tolerate thier mess and go on stage with a half *** performance


 what i posted b4 about them

I'm going through  this with a new group I'm playing for. They Always wanna do something stupid on stage.

Every time we sing, the leader wants to announce the name of song before we sing. Who does that???

Were were singing 'Lord I lift your name on high' in a jazzy neo soul kinda way, and they wanna  loop the end, but Everytime we loop, this chick wants to start the next part on the 3rd count. Too me it just sounded plain retarted, but she is the leader, i'm just the musician.

And then they dont give proper hand signals, so nobody knows whats goin on

They dont Sing into the mics, and they wanna complain that they cant hear themselves

Then They show up late for EVERY SINGLE gig.

And then they wanna sing in a semi circle and smile at each other when they sing

Sometimes I think they are doing all this just to make me look bad. But I'm not taking them Any where else until they get thier act togather.

There is always a problem when the leader thinks they know it all, when they really dont

[divinemusician]

haha this is a some what funny subject becaue all MOM's or Directors/ress goes through this I believe. I would personally sit down and talk with that person on why they do what they do and feel the way they fell about putting their two cents in. Maybe God has given them in site on things but because of their lack of knowlege in how to do things it is coming off wrong. I know before I got into music how i am now (playing music, etc) I could pick a song a part but people looked at the fact that they thought I didn't know anything about music becaue i didn't play or I was a beginner, etc and ran with it. Now I know more about picking parts, songs,etc than the people been playing for years. What I am saying is talk with that person and see if it is God in site or just them being "BIG KNOW IT ALLS" and trying to take your job over... If that is the case then they are not worth you getting all mad or fustrated with because you know their goals but if they feel God is moving them into the Music Ministry be a help but let them understand that for now God has placed you over that portion of the Music Ministry and all thought they want to help that following leadership is way better than trying to step over leadership esp when leadership is following God. This is just my two cents I am sure soem will agree and others will disagree either way it goes I love all feed back... Help me grow if i am wrong too...

[sjonathan02]

What do you do if one of your choir members who hardly knows anything about music, tries to tell you how to run your choir?! Like telling you what songs should be song, how they should be song, who should sing, who shouldn't sing, when to sing and etc.?!

How are they approaching you concerning this subject? Is there genuine concern or are they merely espousing their opinion?


Now, if there is a concern, perhaps you can take a step back and see if their suggestion has merit. However, if their just putting in their .02 cents, then you can simpy say, "I'll think about that" and KIM.


If they're being complelely rude about it, then you would calmly, but assertively, remind them that you are the leader, and while their suggestion(s) may be taken under advisement, the final decision is soley yours. (then, KIM  )


They may just want to feel included in the music process; especially if they truly don't know anything about music and they KNOW that they don't know. 

[under13]

Now, if there is a concern, perhaps you can take a step back and see if their suggestion has merit. However, if their just putting in their .02 cents, then you can simpy say, "I'll think about that" and KIM.


If they're being complelely rude about it, then you would calmly, but assertively, remind them that you are the leader, and while their suggestion(s) may be taken under advisement, the final decision is soley yours. (then, KIM  )


They may just want to feel included in the music process; especially if they truly don't know anything about music and they KNOW that they don't know. 

I agree. Talk to the person in private though, you dont wanna embaress her in front of the whole group. If she is willing, maybe you can teach her a thing or two about music.

[sjonathan02]

I agree. Talk to the person in private though, you dont wanna embaress her in front of the whole group. If she is willing, maybe you can teach her a thing or two about music.

Or, at least, allow her to see that you have an extensive musical knowledge, yourself.

[Brittsings87]

 Thanks! I have thought about talking to her about it, but she's the president of the choir, and her job is mainly handling money, and seeing who was present at rehearsal and who wasn't, things like that! But I'm over the music part (directing) which she knows NOTHING about! So I guess since she's the president she feels as if she can enforce EVERYTHING within the choir. Like for instance, I told the choir we were going to start singing at our 8am services. And so she comes up with all these excuses as to why she can't come, but then suggests that the younger ppl in the choir can do it, but she can't. But if their is something that she enforces as a president as far as paying "dues", and someone comes up with an excuse as to why they didn't pay it she gets upset, and gives this looooooonnnggg speech. Anyways, I was telling her that I don't like getting up that early in the morning, but I still do it because of ministry, and that it was somethin that God laid on my heart to do. And when I went to ask the Pastor if we could sing 8am services she seemed thrilled about it. But I am going to talk to her, I just have to figure out a way to do it, and still be respectful, because after she is older than me.

[LaylaMonroe]

How are they approaching you concerning this subject? Is there genuine concern or are they merely espousing their opinion?


Now, if there is a concern, perhaps you can take a step back and see if their suggestion has merit. However, if their just putting in their .02 cents, then you can simpy say, "I'll think about that" and KIM.


If they're being complelely rude about it, then you would calmly, but assertively, remind them that you are the leader, and while their suggestion(s) may be taken under advisement, the final decision is soleLy yours. (then, KIM  )


They may just want to feel included in the music process; especially if they truly don't know anything about music and they KNOW that they don't know. 

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