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Author Topic: Power Struggle in church....  (Read 879 times)

joshuag

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Power Struggle in church....
« on: April 23, 2008, 12:01:00 PM »
After the passing of my Dad it seemed interesting the timing. My dad prepared me before he passed but not for all this. Well let me get to the issue, My dad was the senior Male minister in my church and now I am (not saying i am the oldest just the only male minister). Now due to this fact I handle a few things from time to time but have no direct responsiblities other than playing the organ on sunday and MC a service once in a while (limbo land). The other men look to me as the leader, but the pastor has not placed the responsiblity on me, nor did I ask for it. I did ask the Pastor what are my responsiblities so I dont step on anyones toes. The response i got was " a few people ask her this same question and her and the core group are talking about it". This was about 2 or 3 months ago. Now at the same time my uncle has come back to church a few months ago, he has been away from church for a very long time. Now it seems he seats in the core meetings and directs a lot of things in the church.  We all know he is not saved (he doesnt claim to be) and he is coming because he has to come (person reason) to church. So again i asked what am i doing here, you tell me rules to go by but dont follow the same rules because you dont want to offend someone else.

let me explain this:

One rule they informed me was when they have a Male speaker coming in to speak they prefer a male from the church to MC or sit in the pulpit for the service. So when the rule was told to me I said no problem you can replace me for the service you have me under because it is a female speaker and put me on the other services with the male speaker. Then I said I would not be offend if that is the rule or preference of the church. Then I was told, well they can't do this because some of the other members would get upset or offended by this (because they want to be in charge). So then i said but why dont you just tell them the rule like you just explained to me. They turned around and said they will discuss it with the core (this means they aint changing it but it sounds like they are going to check into it).

My first thought was you want to place him in charge but dont want to offend me, but cant place him in charge because he is not saved. Then my next thought was if that is the case let me know what you are doing as leaders so I can redirect everyone to him instead of me. After thinking about all the things going on I found that the problem is Me, it seem when it comes to me most members at my church has a problem. I also was told this by someone else (they are a prayer warrior) and no i told them nothing to what is going on...


So, now I sit wondering is there always a power struggle in church cause I know it shouldn't be...


personal if i stayed on the organ or drums i would be happy but i know i belong in the pulpit (calling)... and they could keep the titles

Offline bishop2

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Re: Power Struggle in church....
« Reply #1 on: April 23, 2008, 12:05:02 PM »
Wow!
This is one of the reasons I have to MAKE myself get up and go to church, well that and a check....

Offline under13

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Re: Power Struggle in church....
« Reply #2 on: April 23, 2008, 12:11:32 PM »
WoW. Sometimes it seems like the church is full of wannabe politicians. I think I'll just stick to being a musician, too much drama in leadership positions

Offline b3wannab

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Re: Power Struggle in church....
« Reply #3 on: April 23, 2008, 12:12:40 PM »
I'm more than just a little confused here, joshuag.  Why on earth is your unsaved uncle running anything in God's house?!  Is he the "Sugar Daddy" that funds the fellowship or what? Is he married to or dating the Pastor?  What is up with this?!! ?/?
I will bless the Lord at all times, and his praise shall continually be in my mouth...

joshuag

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Re: Power Struggle in church....
« Reply #4 on: April 23, 2008, 12:20:07 PM »
I'm more than just a little confused here, joshuag.  Why on earth is your unsaved uncle running anything in God's house?!  Is he the "Sugar Daddy" that funds the fellowship or what? Is he married to or dating the Pastor?  What is up with this?!! ?/?

He is the Pastor's older brother. See with not giving him the title they will say he is just being given things to do...

Offline under13

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Re: Power Struggle in church....
« Reply #5 on: April 23, 2008, 12:22:52 PM »
He is the Pastor's older brother. See with not giving him the title they will say he is just being given things to do...

Thats exactly why I dont like small "family" churches

Offline LaylaMonroe

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Re: Power Struggle in church....
« Reply #6 on: April 23, 2008, 12:27:35 PM »
It sounds like this ministry is being run as a business, not a church.  Of course, I'm only basing that assumption on the little bit of info you provided.

Anyway, my advice to you is to take on a new mentality.  I've been in situations before where I feel so frustrated by what is going on around me that I just want to quit.  The very first thing I do is express to the pastor (or whoever the appropriate personnel is) what my concerns are and what my proposed solutions are.  If that doesn't change things, I change my mentality.  Sometimes, you just have to put on blinders (shuddup, Jerod) and focus on what is in front of you.  Do what you are asked to do, and do it cheerfully.  When you can no longer do it cheerfully, take a sabbatical, sit yourself down and get it together.

I have a lot of compassion for people who work really closely to the administration and/or pastoral office of the church.  It's not easy and it's not for everyone.  You see a lot of stuff you'd rather not see, you experience a lot of stuff you'd rather not experience, you hear a lot you'd rather not hear... It takes a special strength (and a special calling, IMO) to deal with the church up close and personal.  It ain't for the faint.  With that said, just change your focus.  Do exactly what they ask you to do, and try to take your own mind, opinions, logic, and reason out of the equation.  Just do what you're asked to do, praying all the while, and stay focused until the Lord sees fit to change things.
When you're in love you don't want to fall asleep bc reality is finally better than your dreams.

Offline Fenix

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Re: Power Struggle in church....
« Reply #7 on: April 23, 2008, 12:42:17 PM »
Thats exactly why I dont like small "family" churches

You are speakin' right man. Word 8)

It sounds like this ministry is being run as a business, not a church.  Of course, I'm only basing that assumption on the little bit of info you provided.

Anyway, my advice to you is to take on a new mentality.  I've been in situations before where I feel so frustrated by what is going on around me that I just want to quit.  The very first thing I do is express to the pastor (or whoever the appropriate personnel is) what my concerns are and what my proposed solutions are.  If that doesn't change things, I change my mentality.  Sometimes, you just have to put on blinders (shuddup, Jerod) and focus on what is in front of you.  Do what you are asked to do, and do it cheerfully.  When you can no longer do it cheerfully, take a sabbatical, sit yourself down and get it together.

I have a lot of compassion for people who work really closely to the administration and/or pastoral office of the church.  It's not easy and it's not for everyone.  You see a lot of stuff you'd rather not see, you experience a lot of stuff you'd rather not experience, you hear a lot you'd rather not hear... It takes a special strength (and a special calling, IMO) to deal with the church up close and personal.  It ain't for the faint.  With that said, just change your focus.  Do exactly what they ask you to do, and try to take your own mind, opinions, logic, and reason out of the equation.  Just do what you're asked to do, praying all the while, and stay focused until the Lord sees fit to change things.

I would listen to her. God taught her everything she knows. Cain't argue with that man.
The car, job, house wife/husband are not the reward, God is.

joshuag

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Re: Power Struggle in church....
« Reply #8 on: April 23, 2008, 01:17:30 PM »
You are speakin' right man. Word 8)

I would listen to her. God taught her everything she knows. Cain't argue with that man.


 i agree with you all the way, but it is hard when you asked to do things that are lendership things then the next moment you have no clue as to what you are doing.

Offline LaylaMonroe

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Re: Power Struggle in church....
« Reply #9 on: April 23, 2008, 01:21:24 PM »

 i agree with you all the way, but it is hard when you asked to do things that are lendership things then the next moment you have no clue as to what you are doing.

Think task-by-task.  Oddly enough, I'd recommend you try NOT to look at the big picture, and just see the piece in front of you.  Ignore the forest and focus on the trees.  This isn't a permanent solution, just something to hold you over until the situation changes or until God changes you.
When you're in love you don't want to fall asleep bc reality is finally better than your dreams.

joshuag

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Re: Power Struggle in church....
« Reply #10 on: April 23, 2008, 01:25:19 PM »
true and i co-sign that

Offline blessedwoman

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Re: Power Struggle in church....
« Reply #11 on: April 23, 2008, 01:59:12 PM »
Think task-by-task.  Oddly enough, I'd recommend you try NOT to look at the big picture, and just see the piece in front of you.  Ignore the forest and focus on the trees.  This isn't a permanent solution, just something to hold you over until the situation changes or until God changes you.

I like this answer :)
Did you feed your spirit man today?

Offline lordluvr

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Re: Power Struggle in church....
« Reply #12 on: April 23, 2008, 04:00:34 PM »
It sounds like this ministry is being run as a business, not a church.  Of course, I'm only basing that assumption on the little bit of info you provided.

Anyway, my advice to you is to take on a new mentality.  I've been in situations before where I feel so frustrated by what is going on around me that I just want to quit.  The very first thing I do is express to the pastor (or whoever the appropriate personnel is) what my concerns are and what my proposed solutions are.  If that doesn't change things, I change my mentality.  Sometimes, you just have to put on blinders (shuddup, Jerod) and focus on what is in front of you.  Do what you are asked to do, and do it cheerfully.  When you can no longer do it cheerfully, take a sabbatical, sit yourself down and get it together.

I have a lot of compassion for people who work really closely to the administration and/or pastoral office of the church.  It's not easy and it's not for everyone.  You see a lot of stuff you'd rather not see, you experience a lot of stuff you'd rather not experience, you hear a lot you'd rather not hear... It takes a special strength (and a special calling, IMO) to deal with the church up close and personal.  It ain't for the faint.  With that said, just change your focus.  Do exactly what they ask you to do, and try to take your own mind, opinions, logic, and reason out of the equation.  Just do what you're asked to do, praying all the while, and stay focused until the Lord sees fit to change things.
Think task-by-task.  Oddly enough, I'd recommend you try NOT to look at the big picture, and just see the piece in front of you.  Ignore the forest and focus on the trees.  This isn't a permanent solution, just something to hold you over until the situation changes or until God changes you.
Looks like my work here is done before I get started.  Good stuff, sis.

Offline docjohn

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Re: Power Struggle in church....
« Reply #13 on: April 24, 2008, 09:42:12 AM »
Sounds like maybe LORD is messin' up your nest,which is what happens before birds get out of the nest and FLY. I don't think it's proper to sit quitely(stupidly?) by if an UNSAVED person is LEADING anything!!!! We are NOT under the UNSAVED authority IN THE TEMPLE!!!! Your church leadership has/is allowing leaven(sin) in the camp.can we say DANGEROUS??? LORD hates those who bring discord-so be careful-BUT HE does allow correction.   #1 pray #2 pray #3 pray:BUT  there's NOTHING wrong in speaking to pastor and elders that they are OUT of LORD's order in this situation.WORD says "turn a soul from sin-save a soul from death". Do this in love and see what LORD does;but if they don't repent and remove them- vaya con' DIOS   -GOOOOO with GOD.emphasis go! GOD!!! hear me?
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