asking him out

[lottaquestions]

thanx everyone for u're input!  Im surprise i got so many responses.  Im going to play it cool for now me tell another person let alone a another guy how i feel is very hard for me to do. imma wait  thanj ya'll though

[Steelpulz]

thanx everyone for u're input!  Im surprise i got so many responses.  Im going to play it cool for now me tell another person let alone a another guy how i feel is very hard for me to do. imma wait  thanj ya'll though

Don't wait!!! Try the casual "let's get some ________ (coffee, lunch, dinner or whatever)" approach. You wanted to know what works for men and overwhelmingly, they have told you the direct-but not too hard-approach works. I agree.

Now if you wanna try the appraoch that the ladies have suggested, so be it. But the brothers have been pretty plain and clear, hints don't work well.

[seemunny]

Just keep it light with him. No heavy expectations, no worries. When everything becomes this whole monumental "boy/girl" thang, people tend to blow it up too much. But when you can just see someone of the opposite sex as just a "person", you take the heaviness, the racing insecurities, and potential hurt feelings out of it.

If you can just be "authentically friendly" with the guy, then you have the best opportunity to feel where it can go from there, if anywhere. But the "boy/girl" game playing that we all find ourselves in so often, introduces too much psychological drama sometimes.

Keep it fonky, keep it real, but keep it light.

[lottaquestions]

Ok steelpulz imma try "let's get some lunch" approcah. idk when but i'll be sure to keep ya'll up todate.  I love how u put it
seemunny' and what you are saying is sooo true.  thank you once again.  Imma keep it fonky and real but light. 

[Mysteryman]

When a 30 year old dude is "really" into you he will make a move else this dude has some growing to do. Other case he could be feeling you out.

[seemunny]

Ok steelpulz imma try "let's get some lunch" approcah. idk when but i'll be sure to keep ya'll up todate.  I love how u put it
seemunny' and what you are saying is sooo true.  thank you once again.  Imma keep it fonky and real but light. 

good luck!

[changedman]

On my way to bed, I'm composing a call-and-response congregational song just for you and this situation.  Hopefully it won't send me in before I make it over to the bed.....


Lady be careful (don't you do too much)

Lady be careful (don't you do too much)

Lady be careful (don't you do too much)

'Cause it just might run a good man away

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH H!

Keep it on the up and up (don't you do too much)

OH, Keep it on the up and up (don't you do too much)

YES, Keep it on the up and up (don't you do too much)

'Cause it just might run a good man away

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH HHHHHHHH!

Sanctify your motives, child (don't you do too much)

WELL, Sanctify your motives, child (don't you do too much)

OH YEA Sanctify your motives, child (don't you do too much)

'Cause it just might turn a good man away!


TAKE ME TO CHU'CH BAND!  LET'S VAMP IT OUT!

Don'cha do too much!  (Don'cha do too much)!

Don'cha do too much!  (Don'cha do too much)!

Don'cha do too much!  (Don'cha do too much)!


<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<---------------flips a pew...needs an usher NOW!


For real, though....Good luck with that.

[seemunny]

On my way to bed, I'm composing a call-and-response congregational song just for you and this situation.  Hopefully it won't send me in before I make it over to the bed.....


Lady be careful (don't you do too much)

Lady be careful (don't you do too much)

Lady be careful (don't you do too much)

'Cause it just might run a good man away

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH H!

Keep it on the up and up (don't you do too much)

OH, Keep it on the up and up (don't you do too much)

YES, Keep it on the up and up (don't you do too much)

'Cause it just might run a good man away

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH HHHHHHHH!

Sanctify your motives, child (don't you do too much)

WELL, Sanctify your motives, child (don't you do too much)

OH YEA Sanctify your motives, child (don't you do too much)

'Cause it just might turn a good man away!


TAKE ME TO CHU'CH BAND!  LET'S VAMP IT OUT!

Don'cha do too much!  (Don'cha do too much)!

Don'cha do too much!  (Don'cha do too much)!

Don'cha do too much!  (Don'cha do too much)!


<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<---------------flips a pew...needs an usher NOW!


For real, though....Good luck with that.

LOOOOOOOOOOL 

[3rd-Day]

When a 30 year old dude is "really" into you he will make a move else this dude has some growing to do. Other case he could be feeling you out.

Excellent point! Thats all im going to say about this topic.

[Keys410]

I don't see anything wrong with a female approaching a dude if she likes him.

[under13]

I don't see anything wrong with a female approaching a dude if she likes him.

I guess to females, thats kinda like a woman getting down on one knee with a ring and asking a guy to marry her. It would probaly be awkward for them

[LaylaMonroe]

When a 30 year old dude is "really" into you he will make a move else this dude has some growing to do. Other case he could be feeling you out.

Excellent point! Thats all im going to say about this topic.

You know, I almost missed that.  But, I totally agree, MM.  That's an excellent point.  Reminds me of the book, and common phrase "he's just not that into you."  If he's into you - even if he's kinda shy, he'll approach you one way or another... whether he's dropping hints, calling frequently, whatever... if he's into you, you'll know it.

[Keys410]

I guess to females, thats kinda like a woman getting down on one knee with a ring and asking a guy to marry her. It would probaly be awkward for them

I guess. I have females ask to go out to places(I guess it would be a date). I never think anything of it. I mean at some point dude does have to take control or its a dead end street.

[musallio]

Excellent point! Thats all im going to say about this topic.

Well said guys..

Not meaning to spoil the fun (I agree with most points I've seen here!)..

Does the guy know that you are only 22?
That gap can mean alot of different experiences for you 2 just based on age

For instance, say the guy is looking for someone who's willing to forgo many things an u25 would normally crave 4..will you be willing to live the part..

I've had (& still have) many girls/ young ladies around me (I'm sure many guys here do as well!)
who "show signs"..but if every girl is going to be like that, then my perception as a guy is that most girls are just like that....
For that reason, I'd just go on with my business & leave the girl to her vices...
Now if the girl tells U str8 up that they have feelings for you (of course this shouldn't be just from nowhere! Like U13 said, it should be after a good conversation or something...)..then U better not mince your words & be sure that you really know what you are putting yourself into because:

i) The guy could see you in a different light & avoid U for the remainder of his life; or

ii) Something special will start, which should ultimately lead to marriage & a good story to tell the kids; or

iii) The guy feels sorry for you (scared to let you down because he's also unsure of his feelings or too sensitive) so he gives you the green light..& the consequences of that could be dire in the future

So my final piece of advice is "drop the hints stuff"..hints have destroyed many a relationship..it's better if you could just act "cold" if that's the case..
Try to get closer to the guy (don't force things..what's meant to happen will happen) so that you can know more about him / personality in small group dynamics as well as on a 1 on 1.
Build a friendship..from there if the guy really likes you, then you 2 can be the best of friends & hopefully 1 day I'll receive a wedding invitation to witness & bless the wed of IDk &..

ps: these are only guidelines I use.
Best to approach situations like this as per the case & prayerfully

[joshuag]

It's interesting how this is divided along gender lines.

well that is because the older men are speaking, and because they focused and settled. They prefer no room for error and confusion. If you like me just say something, and if you dont just be friends.


personally, i am a friendly person and if someone likes me they should just speak not drop hints...

[under13]

I don't see anything wrong with a female approaching a dude if she likes him.

So if the female ask the dude out, should he still pay? or should they split?

[joshuag]

I guess to females, thats kinda like a woman getting down on one knee with a ring and asking a guy to marry her. It would probaly be awkward for them

hahaha, i have had that done to me.... awkward moment indeed

[musallio]

So if the female ask the dude out, should he still pay? or should they split?

mhhh..nice 1 man

[LaylaMonroe]

So if the female ask the dude out, should he still pay? or should they split?

For what it's worth, I would NEVER ask a man out on a date.

But, if a woman asks a man out, she should be prepared to pay, and she should offer to pay.  If he offers to pay it, she should allow him to, IMO. 

[under13]

hahaha, i have had that done to me.... awkward moment indeed

I'm guessing you said :

For what it's worth, I would NEVER ask a man out on a date.

But, if a woman asks a man out, she should be prepared to pay, and she should offer to pay.  If he offers to pay it, she should allow him to, IMO. 

Then she's gauranteed a free meal. You know the dude is gonna offer to pay. If he doesnt, thats a triflin *** ninja