And for our last category of the night: Most Likely to Have Black Card Revoked, the nominees are:
4HG, for his admission that he doesn't like BBQ ribs
TJ, for never having seen The Color Purple (to this very day 
)
Nessa, for having that Utah accent that betrays her skin color
Rochelle33... well, that's self-explanatory. 
And the award goes to..........
SIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR TEEEEJAY!!!!!!
The Academy would like to advise the audience that we do not celebrate the distribution of this award, nor do we consider it an honorable award. We find it insulting that any human being of any color would live in this country never having seen TCP. In common terms, that just ain't cute, boo.
*Stumps up to the podium admist the silence of furious black attendees*
*Camera cuts to Martha Munizzi and Vickie Yohe sitting on the third row*
Martha: I don't see what the big deal is?
*Camera cuts back to TJ ready to make his acceptance speech*
You know what? Forget all of yall. I KNOW I'm black, thank you. Wanna know how I know I'm black? Because every time I arrive at work on time (like I usually do), my Boss, while making her rounds, peeks in and says with a shock "Oh, you're here!". Not only that, but every time I go to a restaurant, the waitress always
conveniently opens the menu to the "Chicken" section. So what if I haven't seen the Color Purple? I drive a Ford Truck! And I've watched enough Madea to know every quote ANYWAYS! Oh, but yall want to call me out like that? Yall don't like that, do you? That's okay...yall REALLY ain't gonna like this one. My new date for the evening...
Come on out, baby...
Now what? Yall ain't got nothing to say NOW, do you? Thought not.
*Walks off stage to the tune of "Sweet Home, Alabama"*.
