Cohabiting couples adopting kids---what say ye?

[B3Wannabe]

Dude, they taught it in my kids school, so please don't tell me they didn't when you weren't there.

That part I can agree with, but your statement was general. I guess, so was mine.

It wasn't taught that youth sex was wrong in my school, nor anyone that I personally know either. I was taught that we should wait until we were adults. I know, I'm generalizing too, but I'm sure the latter is more accurate.

So, without going too far on this tangent, I'll restate my opposition to the ban--even though I can see where you're coming from: some couples that break up may want to return the child. I feel that would be a minority. I'd need to see statistics.

I know of a guy that adopted the daughter of his wife's brother, and keep her after they divorced.

As far as adoption laws, I feel they need to be relaxed. We will not find a "perfect" family, and in our search to do so, we're causing children to feel like they're not wanted. I can agree with doing criminal background checks, and looking at the family's income (to a point), but not this.

[BEATBOXERZ]

As far as adoption laws, I feel they need to be relaxed. We will not find a "perfect" family, and in our search to do so, we're causing children to feel like they're not wanted. I can agree with doing criminal background checks, and looking at the family's income (to a point), but not this.

100% Agreed...

[under13]

I'm also not attacking. This topic was opened up for debate, so that's what I'm doing. I know I used exclamation points, but I intended no malice.

Ditto

[Long Fingers]

Well on this, I say no. Is it even possible that if a couple is just living together that they can adopt? I didn't think adoption agencies could do this with a couple who weren't married, single people yes, but co-habitating couples?

[jdholliday]

So what happens if a "single person" begins a relationship but has no intention to get married? Sis T in the national media they played this up as an anti-gay thing, was this accurate or just media spin?

[funkStrat_97]

Let them adopt.

[lockslie1]

I'll have to agree with SisterT on this one.

I also agree with a single person being able to adopt, but if the single person knows they have a problem with fornication or anything like that then they should ask themselves is adoption the right choice for them right now, because you go from living for yourself to living and being an example to someone you will be responsible for. Whether you are saved or unsaved you have to look at your choices and see how your life would effect that child.  

This is a good topic to study in the Word and I am going to dig into it a little bit. This would be a good discussion for our Bible discussion at church. Thanks SisterT

[funkStrat_97]

I also agree with a single person being able to adopt, but if the single person knows they have a problem with fornication or anything like that then they should ask themselves is adoption the right choice for them right now, because you go from living for yourself to living and being an example to someone you will be responsible for. Whether you are saved or unsaved you have to look at your choices and see how your life would effect that child.  

There you go uning them church words again .  I don't know too many unsaved people that would consider fornication a "problem"...in fact, the problem would likeley be that they aren't gettin' some.

[Jmanley1116]

I don't think that folks who are shacking should be able to adopt.  First of all there is no committment between the consenting adults there.  So if they can't commit to each other how are they going to commit to a kid in their car who is not biologically there's.  It is another form of artificial family...just like gay marriage.  It just exposes the kid to a sinful lifestyle. 

[BEATBOXERZ]

I don't think that folks who are shacking should be able to adopt.  First of all there is no committment between the consenting adults there.  So if they can't commit to each other how are they going to commit to a kid in their car who is not biologically there's.  It is another form of artificial family...just like gay marriage.  It just exposes the kid to a sinful lifestyle. 

Ummm, I hear what your saying, but what if this hypothetical couple have been together for 20yrs. and didn't get married in the religious way. But are married by common law? Would say that the couple in question is just as committed as the couple who got married in a church or at the court house?

[lockslie1]

There you go uning them church words again .  I don't know too many unsaved people that would consider fornication a "problem"...in fact, the problem would likeley be that they aren't gettin' some.

Ok...let's use not "church" words. Fornication One night stands, Booty calls, Sexual irresponsibility.
Defile the temple Cocaine, X, Meth, use of illegal drugs and irresponsible use of over the couter drugs.

I understand what you are saying but no matter how you put it people know right from wrong which is why most people have a conscience. There are millions of examples of consequences for certain types of decisions and actions people make. If a single person only took it as not getting some and wants to raise a child that way, doesn't that only add and recycle the problem of bringing more children in the world that won't get the proper upbringing they deserve? Doesn't just getting some sound a little selfish and not looking at being an example to a child. There are unsaved people in the world that remain virgins not because they are religious or saved, but because they know the end of that path in most cases and don't want to deal with it.

[Jmanley1116]

Ummm, I hear what your saying, but what if this hypothetical couple have been together for 20yrs. and didn't get married in the religious way. But are married by common law? Would say that the couple in question is just as committed as the couple who got married in a church or at the court house?

In the Bible that I read marriage is marriage and shacking up is shacking up no matter if its 20 minutes or 20 years.  If you don't stand before God and the preacher and give a promise to the Creator of Marriage then it is shacking...Standing before God does more than just "officially" make you married.  There are coverings and spiritual covenants that are created that sanctify and justify the union of a MAN and a WOMAN. 

Subject children to anthing else, in the words of Sir Charles Barkley, is uncivilized!!   

[under13]

In the Bible that I read marriage is marriage and shacking up is shacking up no matter if its 20 minutes or 20 years.  If you don't stand before God and the preacher and give a promise to the Creator of Marriage then it is shacking...Standing before God does more than just "officially" make you married.  There are coverings and spiritual covenants that are created that sanctify and justify the union of a MAN and a WOMAN. 

Subject children to anthing else, in the words of Sir Charles Barkley, is uncivilized!!  

So if a person got married in the muslim faith, should they be allowed to adopt? Because you said the shacking people should not adopt, and you also said that if you dont get maried before God, then its shacking. So is that not saying that only Christians should adopt?

[BEATBOXERZ]

In the Bible that I read marriage is marriage and shacking up is shacking up no matter if its 20 minutes or 20 years.  If you don't stand before God and the preacher and give a promise to the Creator of Marriage then it is shacking...Standing before God does more than just "officially" make you married.  There are coverings and spiritual covenants that are created that sanctify and justify the union of a MAN and a WOMAN. 

Subject children to anthing else, in the words of Sir Charles Barkley, is uncivilized!!   

Standing in front of a preacher huh? So that's the only way marriage is sanctioned by God? Did the first couple on earth stand before a preacher? And before you tell me that the bible that " you read " says what it says about legal marriage, post the scripture.

[BEATBOXERZ]

So if a person got married in the muslim faith, should they be allowed to adopt? Because you said the shacking people should not adopt, and you also said that if you dont get maried before God, then its shacking. So is that not saying that only Christians should adopt?

Apparently so...

[Jmanley1116]

Standing in front of a preacher huh? So that's the only way marriage is sanctioned by God? Did the first couple on earth stand before a preacher? And before you tell me that the bible that " you read " says what it says about legal marriage, post the scripture.

There are quite a few scriptures dealing in marriage.  If you want to get technical there is no passage dealing with specific legality.  But we as Christians (this is a Chrisitan site right?...let me know and I will go elsewhere with this and we can talk sports and whatnot) believe that there is a ceremony where we stand before God AND the preacher/pastor/minister/Elder/Evangelist...take your pick and take the vows. 

Now if you want to get into Common Law then we can.  All but about 8 states have abolished Common Law marriage...and get this...the Constitution says that a state must recognize the laws of a sister state.  So, that means that states that have abolished CL marriages must recognize those who set them up in states that do.  Common Law doesn't mean just two people living together...they must "appear" married.  The woman must take the man's surname, etc...for it to be legal.  But, check this out...you can't get common law divorced...it must be done through the courts...isn't that a mess. 

So, we as Christians should not even question the legality or sanctity of marriage in standing before the Man or Woman of God and saying vows...it should be a given that it is what it is. 

Marriage IS sacred
Marriage IS justified
Marriage IS performed in front of one ordained to do so...
Marriage IS recognized by God and our great Country (aside from this gay foolishness, but some states are coming to thier senses...YAY California!!!)

...what were we talking about again?

 

[funkStrat_97]

Ok...let's use not "church" words. Fornication One night stands, Booty calls, Sexual irresponsibility.
Defile the temple Cocaine, X, Meth, use of illegal drugs and irresponsible use of over the couter drugs.

I understand what you are saying but no matter how you put it people know right from wrong which is why most people have a conscience. There are millions of examples of consequences for certain types of decisions and actions people make. If a single person only took it as not getting some and wants to raise a child that way, doesn't that only add and recycle the problem of bringing more children in the world that won't get the proper upbringing they deserve? Doesn't just getting some sound a little selfish and not looking at being an example to a child. There are unsaved people in the world that remain virgins not because they are religious or saved, but because they know the end of that path in most cases and don't want to deal with it.

But are we going to ensure that these unsaved single people who wish to adopt are being chaste?  Yes, there are some unsaved people who believe in no sex before marriage, but they are far outnumbered by those who feel (and do) otherwise.  And since sex between consenting adults is generally legal; why should they be denied the opportunity to adopt?  The goal of adoption is to provide orphaned chilren with a loving, stable, family evnironment, but ther are no guarantees.  People get divorced, people make bad decisions, people change, people cheat on their spouses (even among the people of God).  The only reason that I can think of for mandating that potential adoptive parents be married is for the legalities that may arise in the event of a break up.

[BEATBOXERZ]

There are quite a few scriptures dealing in marriage.  If you want to get technical there is no passage dealing with specific legality.  But we as Christians (this is a Chrisitan site right?...let me know and I will go elsewhere with this and we can talk sports and whatnot) believe that there is a ceremony where we stand before God AND the preacher/pastor/minister/Elder/Evangelist...take your pick and take the vows. 

Now if you want to get into Common Law then we can.  All but about 8 states have abolished Common Law marriage...and get this...the Constitution says that a state must recognize the laws of a sister state.  So, that means that states that have abolished CL marriages must recognize those who set them up in states that do.  Common Law doesn't mean just two people living together...they must "appear" married.  The woman must take the man's surname, etc...for it to be legal.  But, check this out...you can't get common law divorced...it must be done through the courts...isn't that a mess. 

So, we as Christians should not even question the legality or sanctity of marriage in standing before the Man or Woman of God and saying vows...it should be a given that it is what it is. 

Marriage IS sacred
Marriage IS justified
Marriage IS performed in front of one ordained to do so...
Marriage IS recognized by God and our great Country (aside from this gay foolishness, but some states are coming to thier senses...YAY California!!!)

...what were we talking about again?

 

The point is this, not everyone in on earth are Christians. We live in a pluralist society. This is a issue of legalities. And so what if this is a Christian website. We discuss about plenty of other topics on LGM and especially in the lounge, so whatever with that arguement. The fact is that children out here need good homes. What are you gonna do about it? Do you have the authority to deny and stable couple who have been together for years the right to adopt a child who is in need of a family?

Don't get mad and all hostile with me for asking you the question?

And read the topic about since you forgot what we were talking about...

[cas10a]

But are we going to ensure that these unsaved single people who wish to adopt are being chaste?  Yes, there are some unsaved people who believe in no sex before marriage, but they are far outnumbered by those who feel (and do) otherwise.  And since sex between consenting adults is generally legal; why should they be denied the opportunity to adopt?  The goal of adoption is to provide orphaned chilren with a loving, stable, family evnironment, but ther are no guarantees.  People get divorced, people make bad decisions, people change, people cheat on their spouses (even among the people of God).  The only reason that I can think of for mandating that potential adoptive parents be married is for the legalities that may arise in the event of a break up.

This states how I feel about it also...

If you feel it's o.k. for a single person to adopt (and let's be real, a lot of single people fornicate or are looking for a mate/dating), why would you question cohabitating...though cohabitating may be immoral, it is not illegal. 

[THE WOLFMAN]

Hm, how many "saved-sanctifiya-holy-goat-filled-fied-up-baptised" folk do we know that has NO BUSINESS havin and raisin kids.