Question for the men...women can join in too!

[B3Wannabe]

Yeah i thought about that when i read these last couple posts. Maybe it's just a generational thing.

I actually think the general society expects men and women to live by the above rules because that's what most of our parents did.  However, being a part of that younger generation (late eighties-early nineties), I think we do things a lot different than those before us.

Yea.

One discussion in my wife's class was about whether or not gender roles was a learned behavior.

I'm kind of on the fence...maybe leaning toward the learned-behavior side.

We'll see what your generation does. I suspect that as you said, you do things differently, but some things like to stay the same. I believe that as the family structure erodes, we're looking to our ancestors to learn how they managed.

If these gender roles are going to change, I suspect it'll take a LOOOONG time--maybe 50-100 years.

Again, I may get beat up for saying this but, a world in which men and women are "equal" socially, is scary to me--especially if that world is secularized. I can live with equality in the new world, as described in Revelations. The reason I say this is that until Jesus comes back and cleans us up, we need family "structure"--as bad as that sounds.

[giftedone88]

I don't think an equal world is scary. I mean sometimes women do thangs better than men. Like i believe a woman can pastor a church effectively b/c even now with females in ministry leadership- no matter what happens or how much they argue, the job still get's done, the goal is reach, and the effort is supported by all of them.

I strongly do believe in men providing for their family as head of household, I just also feel really strong about being in my kids life and doing things. I was amazed when i got to college to find out how many of my male friends didn't know how to set a washing machine.

I don't want my wife to feel burdened by chores and children that i took part in producing. I think the younger generation of men with a plan for life, are really wanting to be there for their kids.  It is sooo many children without a father who is concerned, but a daddy who's there to bring home a check...especially our young brothas

[B3Wannabe]

Don't confuse what I'm saying now, I'm not talking about a woman's ability to do different things. I'm moreso talking about family structure and responsibility. I agree with everything you stated: not being "equal" socially doesn't mean that we're suppose to mistreat women. I feel that the equality-mentality is leading some men to not take their position as a father/head-of-household seriously. I believe showing that we're there to cover and care for our wives, is of utmost importance to the basic structure of a family. In doing so, we're not supposed to make her look bad in front of outsiders, including our children. I've already stated that my view of marriage/relationships is pretty fundamental.


...but anyway, going back to the question:

Yes. Cooking is important to me. It's not a requirement that she does it all the time, though. I cook sometimes.

[funkStrat_97]

You want her to park your car?

No.  Laundry/Valet service is offererd by many hotels and it includes having your clothing cleaned, pressed and alterd or repaired if neccessary.  Some even include shoe-shine service.  Despite the use of the term "valet" this does not have anything to do with parking (of course, some of you may already know my stance on women parking cars from some earlier threads I had posted).

[nessalynn77]

Wow, B3!  You and I agree on this thread!  LOL

j/k, we agree a lot, but I think a woman's role is something to be embraced, it's our God-ordained position in the home.  I think because of abuse, as B3 stated, we have become defensive to the point that we want to now define a new role where we can be in control and prevent ourselves from being victims.  We're so fearful of someone taking advantage of us, that we forget the experience without all the manipulation and control games, can be something desirable.  I believe that with the right "head" being submissive is not as hard or horrible as some may imagine.

Anyway, that's a little off topic...

[THE WOLFMAN]

No.  Laundry/Valet service is offererd by many hotels and it includes having your clothing cleaned, pressed and alterd or repaired if neccessary.  Some even include shoe-shine service.  Despite the use of the term "valet" this does not have anything to do with parking (of course, some of you may already know my stance on women parking cars from some earlier threads I had posted).

and a mint on the pillow in the morning.

[giftedone88]

and a mint on the pillow in the morning.

lol  that would be nice haha;D

[sjonathan02]

Wow, B3!  You and I agree on this thread!  LOL

j/k, we agree a lot, but I think a woman's role is something to be embraced, it's our God-ordained position in the home.  I think because of abuse, as B3 stated, we have become defensive to the point that we want to now define a new role where we can be in control and prevent ourselves from being victims.  We're so fearful of someone taking advantage of us, that we forget the experience without all the manipulation and control games, can be something desirable.  I believe that with the right "head" being submissive is not as hard or horrible as some may imagine.

Anyway, that's a little off topic...

Mmm, mmm, good. 

[Rjthakid]

how fine is she?

It doesn't matter!

If you marry Halle Berry, eventually you stop looking at her as Halle Berry: One of the Hottest Women Alive, and you only see Halle my wife.

No matter how gorgeous a woman is, if you look at her EVERYDAY you'll begin to look less at the face and figure and more at the heart, good qualities, and bad qualities.

If I married a Young Vanessa Williams (~sigh~) and she couldn't do anything in the kitchen, I would eventually have to say

"Baby...I love you...you're so fine...but can you cook me a chicken leg or a steak or somethin?"

People get married for looks and they never last.

Eric Bennett cheated on Halle Berry.
Tommy Lee cheated on Pam Anderson.

Were the women they cheated with more attractive?  I dunno.  But they likely weren't. 

Looks ain't everything!

[sjonathan02]

It doesn't matter!

If you marry Halle Berry, eventually you stop looking at her as Halle Berry: One of the Hottest Women Alive, and you only see Halle my wife.

No matter how gorgeous a woman is, if you look at her EVERYDAY you'll begin to look less at the face and figure and more at the heart, good qualities, and bad qualities.

If I married a Young Vanessa Williams (~sigh~) and she couldn't do anything in the kitchen, I would eventually have to say

"Baby...I love you...you're so fine...but can you cook me a chicken leg or a steak or somethin?"

People get married for looks and they never last.

Eric Bennett cheated on Halle Berry.
Tommy Lee cheated on Pam Anderson.

Were the women they cheated with more attractive?  I dunno.  But they likely weren't. 

Looks ain't everything!

a. Cheating has little to do with the way a woman looks; it really has to do with a man's inability to control is loins, more often than not.

b. A woman can LEARN how to cook no matter her looks.

[Rjthakid]

a. Cheating has little to do with the way a woman looks; it really has to do with a man's inability to control is loins, more often than not.

b. A woman can LEARN how to cook no matter her looks.

a.  That was my point.  lol.

b.  Agreed.

[sjonathan02]

a.  That was my point.  lol.

b.  Agreed.

I didn't get that from your post. It seemed like you were trying to say that a woman's beauty would fade to the point of making a man cheat because she can't cook a steak. 

[Rjthakid]

I didn't get that from your post. It seemed like you were trying to say that a woman's beauty would fade to the point of making a man cheat because she can't cook a steak. 

I wasn't trying to tie Eric and Tommy Lee's cheating to cooking.   

The point I was trying to make is that looks aren't everything.

I said "People get married for looks and they never last."

My last comment was "Looks ain't everything!"

I was trying to say that looking over a woman's overall character, strengths and weaknesses, to look at her physical appearance isn't wise, because the initial awe of her beauty will eventually give way to her character.

[Fenix]

It doesn't matter!

If you marry Halle Berry, eventually you stop looking at her as Halle Berry: One of the Hottest Women Alive, and you only see Halle my wife.

No matter how gorgeous a woman is, if you look at her EVERYDAY you'll begin to look less at the face and figure and more at the heart, good qualities, and bad qualities.

If I married a Young Vanessa Williams (~sigh~) and she couldn't do anything in the kitchen, I would eventually have to say

"Baby...I love you...you're so fine...but can you cook me a chicken leg or a steak or somethin?"

People get married for looks and they never last.

Eric Bennett cheated on Halle Berry.
Tommy Lee cheated on Pam Anderson.

Were the women they cheated with more attractive?  I dunno.  But they likely weren't. 

Looks ain't everything!

Man this is so true. I mean when i saw Kobe Bryant's wife i was like "NINJA WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!!!"

I mean she is drop-dead gorgeous. I wonder if she can cook. 

[Rjthakid]

Man this is so true. I mean when i saw Kobe Bryant's wife i was like "***** WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!!!"

I mean she is drop-dead gorgeous. I wonder if she can cook. 

She IS fine isn't she?   

[2KlubKlarity]

You mean to tell me that you intentionally went into your bedroom, took of ALL your clothes, walked OUT of your bedroom, and decided "hmm, i think imma cook me some chicken"?

 

I was trying to get dressed and cook at the same time! Goodness....... 

[Rjthakid]

Man this is so true. I mean when i saw Kobe Bryant's wife i was like "***** WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!!!"

I mean she is drop-dead gorgeous. I wonder if she can cook. 

I've heard people say stuff like: "If she was MY wife, I'd NEVER cheat on her!"

If that comment is based on her looks, then you can't say that!  Whether or not you'd cheat depends on YOU.  Beauty is only skin deep.

Notice that the proverb that speaks about the "Virtuous Woman" doesn't reference her physical beauty.

I married an attractive woman.  To be HONEST her beauty played a bigger part in my decision than it should have (hey, I was 21!!!).

But I'm SO glad I married a keeper!  She can cook (her curry chicken is AWESOME!), she's an almost obsessive cleaner, she's nurturing, caring (the kind to pack my lunch and make sure I eat well), sweet, a great mother, active in church (wonderful singer), and she pushes me to be my best.

Does it hurt that she's pretty?  NOPE.  But I now realize that her best features aren't visible, no matter what she wears.   

Brought to you by Hallmark

[2KlubKlarity]

I've heard people say stuff like: "If she was MY wife, I'd NEVER cheat on her!"

If that comment is based on her looks, then you can't say that!  Whether or not you'd cheat depends on YOU.  Beauty is only skin deep.

Notice that the proverb that speaks about the "Virtuous Woman" doesn't reference her physical beauty.

I married an attractive woman.  To be HONEST her beauty played a bigger part in my decision than it should have (hey, I was 21!!!).

But I'm SO glad I married a keeper!  She can cook (her curry chicken is AWESOME!), she's an almost obsessive cleaner, she's nurturing, caring (the kind to pack my lunch and make sure I eat well), sweet, a great mother, active in church (wonderful singer), and she pushes me to be my best.

Does it hurt that she's pretty?  NOPE.  But I now realize that her best features aren't visible, no matter what she wears.   

Brought to you by Hallmark

Awwww, that really was sweet...I almost started to tear up, then I saw the small print!

Typical man...leave it up to Hallmark! 

[Fenix]

I was trying to get dressed and cook at the same time! Goodness....... 

Well the imagery is still stuck in my head so...yeah.

I married an attractive woman.  To be HONEST her beauty played a bigger part in my decision than it should have (hey, I was 21!!!).

But I'm SO glad I married a keeper!  She can cook (her curry chicken is AWESOME!), she's an almost obsessive cleaner, she's nurturing, caring (the kind to pack my lunch and make sure I eat well), sweet, a great mother, active in church (wonderful singer), and she pushes me to be my best.

Does it hurt that she's pretty?  NOPE.  But I now realize that her best features aren't visible, no matter what she wears.  

Well i want this to be my testimony too, and it just might be cuz, for some strange reason, i am only attracted to attractive women.

[Rjthakid]

Well the imagery is still stuck in my head so...yeah.

Well i want this to be my testimony too, and it just might be cuz, for some strange reason, i am only attracted to attractive women.

Go figure.