Questions from a new M.O.M. (any an all advice is welcome)

[kodacolor]

I'm a newer M.O.M.  So far I don't feel that I've been doing that great of a job and I need some advice on how to get better.  Going into this I tried to be open to suggestion (i.e: let the praise team and the musicians have a hand in picking the songs for P&W if they weren’t picked already) because I know that if I get an idea or have a plan chances are unless I feel your idea is better or can help my idea I'm not going to go with what you have to say.  When I do things that way people feel slighted.  However, when I'm open to suggestion people take advantage of that.  I'll give an inch and they'll take a mile.  I know being a leader isn’t about being bossy, but I need to find a way to take the reigns without the aforementioned side effects.  We're a new ministry and we don't really have a lot established and what ever I do will set a precedent.  There have been situations where people have tried to go over my head to have things their way.  There have been situations were utter chaos has reeked havoc on a rehearsal.  There have been situations where we would try to make a song list for a Sunday and a member would use the whole rehearsal time for their own agenda and there wouldn’t be a lot I could do about it.  Did I mention that I’m 20 and the next youngest music ministry leader is about 50…and some of them have they’ve known me (or of me) since I was a baby? 

I started working on a handbook today and downloaded SisterT’s handbook as a guide.  (We need a handbook oh so desperately!)

What were you like the first time you were M.O.M?  How did you prep for the position?  What are some pitfalls new M.O.Ms should avoid?  How did you deal with difficult people?  How to you keep the moral up among ministry members?  How do you handle people trying to go over your head?  What are some Bible chapters or verses I can read to help with this situation?  How did you know that God called you to be the M.O.M?  Any an all advice you can think of for newer M.O.Ms is appreciated!

[divinemusician]

I can say I think you are starting off good by understanding your role as far as you don't want ot be to "bossy" but you dont' want to be too laid back. Being a Boss is going to be a must. Somebody has to have the rule of thumb.

You are starting off good too by getting SistaT handbook and making it a guideline for yours.

I say make sure you and the pastor are on one accord. Sit down with him/her and see what their goal is for the music ministry and tell them your goals/vision/mission statment. (pray that God directs you in His plan for it first) then come together with your pastor. make sure you guys are on 1 accord so when people try to go over you, the pastor has your back because he understands your vision. (people that don't understand the vision will try to create a vision of their own)

make sure you have resonable ground rules. AND STICK TO THEM NO MATTER WHAT. this will set a line of order and respect.

Make sure you let your musicians and director/directress know your vision for the music ministy and allow the director/directress to make their own vision for the choir that is in lines with your main vision. that way you give them their proper respect and they can respect you better becasue u respect their job.
Make sure your musicians know the rules and what you want to see them do and not do. don't tolarte foolishness and at the same hand don't be foolish (like don't tell them to not come late but you always comin late, don't tell them to come church and you always missin it, etc.)

Try to give other peoples imput however let them know that their suggestions will be thought about, and if need be prayed about and then go in that direction (some stuff don't need to be prayed about because people will bring some stupid stuff to the table). Understand that you wont always have the answer to everything but try hard to reach the goal at hand.

As long as you have the backing of your pastor and both you and the pastor are being lead by Christ you will do ok.

[princessofpraise]

divinemusician is giving you some great advise. Being a M.O.M. isn't easy. I have been a full-time M.O.M for the past 6 years. One thing I always do is- I never ask anything of the group that I don't do and most of the time exceed. I want them on time, I am always 45 minutes early. I want them consistent in attendance, I only take 2 Sundays off a year and 6 Wed. nights. I want to see them blessed by tithing and offering, I tithe and sow plenty of seed. I go far beyond what I expect of others. If you do that, you will get their respect and God will honor you as well.

[Revp98]

I can tell you from my perspective, as a Minister in the church and a musician it is hard and can be difficult at times. The number on thing is this: did God give you a vision? If he did you you need to convey that vision to your department. If God has not given you one, you pray and ask for guidance so that he will give you one. I wrote out a guideline for the music department at my church. But before I presented it to the  Pastor. Like it has been said before, you want to make sure that you and your Pastor are on the same page. You want to get that approval first, the reality of church folks (not all), is if they dont agree with you you will know it. Just  remember this, you are in a ministry and you are going to spend a lot of time praying for your department. If the people see that you mean business, they will come around. You need to have a lot of restraint, prayer, a level head, prayer, etc. You noticed that prayer is mentioned quite frequently, how people percieve you is how they will treat you. Everyone that sings in the choir, praise team, or plays an instrument-does it for the right reasons. These are just some of the things you have to keep in mind. This is not meant to b a scare tactic, but you do this the right way and keep an open mind, you will make it. Keep your eye on the prize. May God keep and you humble in spirit and in your heart.

[Cplndceddy]

Where can I get Sister T handbook?

[kodacolor]

Where can I get Sister T handbook?

http://www.learngospelmusic.com/forums/index.php/topic,16158.msg81731.html#msg81731

[kodacolor]

After looking back on this thread it's been over a year and the issues outlined here are much worse than they were before.  *sigh*  Ministry is hard.  I didn't think it would be this easy, but I didn't think it would be this hard.  I don't regret being the leader of this ministry and I have every intention on doing the work God called me to do.  It's just when that plan requires people to cooperate and they don't it makes it that much harder.  Pray for your leaders.

[betnich]

kodacolor, don't give up! We on LGM support and pray for you.

A good ministry team can be a blessing and a channel for God's power to flow through to touch others. Some people can be at times stubborn and devious, but pray for them anyway.

It takes true wisdom to strike the right balance between leading and seeking input from others. Scripture says that God will give wisdom if you ask...