Wow, Betnich. You just never know what a person is going through.
I'm really sorry to hear you're struggling with this, but I'm glad you're sharing your story. You're definitely not alone. A bunch of us have shared to some extent about dealing with and overcoming bouts with sadness, depression, suicidal thoughts, and even taking anti-depressants. I'm sure you know this, but I'm going to tell you just in case you forgot: the best way for people to get something out of your life is for you to keep living.
Now about the St. Johns.... I've heard really good things about that stuff. I've never taken it, but I heard it was really good. But isn't it amazing how just making a few steps in the right direction can make you feel better? If your depression is a result of situations and not a chemical imbalance, it's possible that you can train your brain right out of depression. I read a lot about that when a neighbor of mine was diagnosed with situational depression (incidentally, I met him through an LGMer... lol). A lot of times, that is caused by harboring negative thoughts and being too hard on yourself. If you practice positive thinking, meditating on scriptures, speaking only good things, writing down good things, looking at the bright side, and taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ, you can actually change how you feel in general. I know it's easier said than done, and sounds like just another thing to try, but it really does help. It takes practice, but it helps.
I'll be praying for you.
