This is not a normal thing to come on LGM and really speak openly from the heart, but I have been really praying and wanting to clear the air in hopes to get my friend back (if they will take me back).
Over the past few months the lord has been showing me myself and all the crazy, unsaved things i did some moral, some not. A few years ago I found a friend on LGM that was not like everyone else. We spoke on the phone and texted and visited each other. I enjoyed it very much. We both was returning to God from a life outside in the world, But wasn't aware I still had carried somethings back with me I thought I let go. In other words I was a womanizer badly. On top of this I was never a person to turn down adult thing (clean version for the youngsters in here). Well, something happen in my life that rocked my focus. My father had passed and I was in reach of what I had with him and that was love. growing up I didn't have it I got beat, threaten, punched by grown-ups so love I didn't know.
Well, a year or two ago I was starting to talk to someone else but didn't tell my friend, scared I would lost them. Its sound crazy but they were the only person that really showed me love without conditions or favors. I tried to slowly tell her so she could get comfortable with the idea I was seeing someone, which that turned ugly for a while and we stopped talking for a while. Then we started talking and things started to get to normal and I introduced them to each other.
Honestly, the past few years have been a blurr. I can say I was in a crash course of Character the Lord needed me to go through. The meeting went well but as they spoke the secret came out of actually when my new relationship started. But instead of coming clean I became ashamed of it. I didn't want to lose a friend but I did anyway. No, I wasn't doing adult things with both at the same time, but I got married within a month or two from the last time I seen my friend.
Truly, I was stuck with how to explain but didn't know how. I was afraid to lose my friend so I hide it, and ended up losing them anyways. I know now I should have been honest and not hide it. I am hoping this reaches this person and they find it in their heart to forgive me and be my friend again. I know it will not be as before but I am willing to take what I can get. True friendship is better than a fake one.
