I'm Stepping Down from Music Ministry!!!

[cwgolden99]

Due to a lack of communication while I was gone on my deployment.  I am stepping down from music ministry.  Long story short, I was "lead musician" when I left, and when I came back I was no longer in the position.  Before I get jumped on about the titles, its not about the title.  Its the principle of the matter.  Nobody in "leadership" told me anything, the only reason I found out is because I just happened to be at the ordination service and they ordained this new cat Music Pastor.  This guy has only been in our church for about 6 months and he makes it known to everyone that he is just passing through temporarily.  I have been there since the church started and was the 1st musician.  Not only that he has that transpose demon on him and refuses to learn any other keys other than D flat!  He sounds good as long as he is behind an electronic keyboard, but if you put him behind an organ or real piano, he will crumble!  I shouldn't have to learn the song in the right key, just to go over and figure it out in D flat (in less than 10 min), just so he play along.  I have never taken a piano/organ lesson and he has been playing a lot longer than I, so in my book transposing is unacceptable

As stated before, its not about titles, but the principle.  I have been hurt beyond description and its no longer fun playing there!  I've put up with all I can put up with and tired of working with prideful musicians!

[nessalynn77]

I hope it all works out for you, I'm sorry to see this happen, but I understand.

[sjonathan02]

This sounds like more of a CS than a thread. j/k



Jokes aside, I can see why you're frustrated especially considering the fact that dude has made it known that he's not sticking around.


Is there anyway you can talk to those in 'leadership' (making use of your use of quotes)?

[lordluvr]

Dude, that's jacked up!  However, I think you should take a second to re-group before you make an emotion-based decision.  Don't make the same mistake you're accusing your leadership of by acting before communicating.  Consider airing your concerns with your pastor.  Let him know how you feel about what transpired.  After your discussion, if you still feel led to step down, go for it.  At least you will have a clear conscience, knowing YOU went about it the right way.

[teitei636]

WOW!!! That is hurtful...we went away to our honeymoon and came back and this young cat was in charge, had re-arranged the choir and all!!! We did the same thing, except we turned in keys to the church and returned the supplement we were getting and became regular choir members. Come to find out, dude couldn't teach parts and could barely play...In our case tho, it was lack of communication to the new guy and to us by leadership--you know how we got things straight, by talking to the new guy, got our positions back (hubby and I shared the position) and worked wonderfully together...but he didn't have an ego the size of the Texas either.

There is nothing like a church hurt, especially when you've been FAITHFUL from day one and its like you've been looked over.

I pray that God sends the healing and leads you to what's next. I appreciate your gift and your service to our country!

[churchyreal]

Due to a lack of communication while I was gone on my deployment.  I am stepping down from music ministry.  Long story short, I was "lead musician" when I left, and when I came back I was no longer in the position.  Before I get jumped on about the titles, its not about the title.  Its the principle of the matter.  Nobody in "leadership" told me anything, the only reason I found out is because I just happened to be at the ordination service and they ordained this new cat Music Pastor.  This guy has only been in our church for about 6 months and he makes it known to everyone that he is just passing through temporarily.  I have been there since the church started and was the 1st musician.  Not only that he has that transpose demon on him and refuses to learn any other keys other than D flat!  He sounds good as long as he is behind an electronic keyboard, but if you put him behind an organ or real piano, he will crumble!  I shouldn't have to learn the song in the right key, just to go over and figure it out in D flat (in less than 10 min), just so he play along.  I have never taken a piano/organ lesson and he has been playing a lot longer than I, so in my book transposing is unacceptable

As stated before, its not about titles, but the principle.  I have been hurt beyond description and its no longer fun playing there!  I've put up with all I can put up with and tired of working with prideful musicians!

Yeah that's frustrating! Communication is something that hurts churches and people. Hope everything works out.

Dude, that's jacked up!  However, I think you should take a second to re-group before you make an emotion-based decision.  Don't make the same mistake you're accusing your leadership of by acting before communicating.  Consider airing your concerns with your pastor.  Let him know how you feel about what transpired.  After your discussion, if you still feel led to step down, go for it.  At least you will have a clear conscience, knowing YOU went about it the right way.

This. And let me add that I agree that you should talk to your pastor before fully making your decision. I have been in places where I thought about resigning from music ministry (I've been dealing with this for about 2 years) but when I thought about it I looked at the big picture. Talk to your pastor and like it was said, if you are still lead to leave then leave in good terms.

[LaylaMonroe]

Dude, that's jacked up!  However, I think you should take a second to re-group before you make an emotion-based decision.  Don't make the same mistake you're accusing your leadership of by acting before communicating.  Consider airing your concerns with your pastor.  Let him know how you feel about what transpired.  After your discussion, if you still feel led to step down, go for it.  At least you will have a clear conscience, knowing YOU went about it the right way.

Just FYI - this is something he's been pondering for a minute now... it's not new. I think he did talk to the pastor, too.  He must've been giving us the short version of the story. LOL!

But I do agree with the rest of what you said; just wanted to point that out.

@CWG, I hope it all works out for you, and most importantly, I pray you go with God. It's a dangerous thing to be out of the will of God, and it's frustrating to quit a class before you take and pass the final exam - only to have to take that same class and test all over again. Trust this, if you leave before it's your time to leave, you WILL INDEED end up taking this very same test at a later date. And you'll take it over and over again until you pass. That's just the way God does things. *shrug*

So did you two decide to leave the church or are you just stepping down?

[nessalynn77]

Dude, that's jacked up!  However, I think you should take a second to re-group before you make an emotion-based decision.  Don't make the same mistake you're accusing your leadership of by acting before communicating.  Consider airing your concerns with your pastor.  Let him know how you feel about what transpired.  After your discussion, if you still feel led to step down, go for it.  At least you will have a clear conscience, knowing YOU went about it the right way.

I talked to Chris about this a little while ago, and I think he has taken those steps for the most part.

[sjonathan02]

I talked to Chris about this a little while ago, and I think he has taken those steps for the most part.

Ah well, then the only thing that's left is making sure that leaving is the thing God would have him do.


Gotta suck, though. Church hurt is the worst.

[cwgolden99]

I've talked to the pastor.  I sent him an email expressing my concerns along w/ my wifes because she was hurt in the process as well.  In the email, I made it VERY clear that you all can screw over me all you want, but you will not mess over her.  4 mins after I sent the email, he called and told me to come meet with him.  I did so, and he was sincere in his apology for the hurt and said it was a mistake on his part for the lack of communication.  I do accept the apology, and my problem is not with him.  Its the pride in this new cat, before he had the title he was just sitting on the piano calm and remained still, now he looks as if he is Stevie Wonder or Ray Charles or someone (moves around to much).  I've been back since 1 April and he has been music pastor since 8 April.  I've seen a change in the music dept that I do not like and do not want to be a part of as long as it continues on like this.

[churchyreal]

Ah well, then the only thing that's left is making sure that leaving is the thing God would have him do.


Gotta suck, though. Church hurt is the worst.

Absolutely!!!

[LaylaMonroe]

Church hurt is the worst.

Quoted for emphasis.

[cwgolden99]

Just FYI - this is something he's been pondering for a minute now... it's not new. I think he did talk to the pastor, too.  He must've been giving us the short version of the story. LOL!

But I do agree with the rest of what you said; just wanted to point that out.

@CWG, I hope it all works out for you, and most importantly, I pray you go with God. It's a dangerous thing to be out of the will of God, and it's frustrating to quit a class before you take and pass the final exam - only to have to take that same class and test all over again. Trust this, if you leave before it's your time to leave, you WILL INDEED end up taking this very same test at a later date. And you'll take it over and over again until you pass. That's just the way God does things. *shrug*

So did you two decide to leave the church or are you just stepping down?

Lol, that is most definitely the short version of the story.  UGH, LaRue thanks for making me feel convicted! lol.  I was ready to go and turn my keys in and say I'm done!  One thing is for sure, I do not want to re-tested on this.  Normally I let stuff roll off my back but, it hurts sitting up there sunday after sunday, looking across at this dude in disgust and frustration.

At the rest of you all.  Answer this for me, if this decision to make him music pastor was indeed from God, Don't you think it would have been communicated to me!  (I don't wanna use that decent and in order scripture out of context but it sure makes my argument look nice) 

[LaylaMonroe]

Lol, that is most definitely the short version of the story.  UGH, LaRue thanks for making me feel convicted! lol.  I was ready to go and turn my keys in and say I'm done!  One thing is for sure, I do not want to re-tested on this.  Normally I let stuff roll off my back but, it hurts sitting up there sunday after sunday, looking across at this dude in disgust and frustration.

At the rest of you all.  Answer this for me, if this decision to make him music pastor was indeed from God, Don't you think it would have been communicated to me!  (I don't wanna use that decent and in order scripture out of context but it sure makes my argument look nice) 

Nobody is saying the pastor (and/or leadership) wasn't wrong, but as you know, two wrongs don't make a right. God could've indeed instructed your pastor to make this dude the music pastor, and your pastor could've still - even after hearing from God - failed to communicate properly. One thing has little to do with the other. It's possible he heard from God but sucks at communicating (or was timid, fearful, uncomfortable about approaching you with his decision).

I Cor 15:33 (I think that's where it is??) doesn't do anything for your argument, dear. Sorry. 

[cwgolden99]

Nobody is saying the pastor (and/or leadership) wasn't wrong, but as you know, two wrongs don't make a right. God could've indeed instructed your pastor to make this dude the music pastor, and your pastor could've still - even after hearing from God - failed to communicate properly. One thing has little to do with the other. It's possible he heard from God but sucks at communicating (or was timid, fearful, uncomfortable about approaching you with his decision).

I Cor 15:33 (I think that's where it is??) doesn't do anything for your argument, dear. Sorry. 

LaRue, you are no longer aloud to comment on this post.    j/k.  Seriously I appreciate everything you are saying and trust me, I am listening to your every word.

[sjonathan02]

LaRue, you are no longer aloud to comment on this post.    j/k.  Seriously I appreciate everything you are saying and trust me, I am listening to your every word.

That's 'allowed', my brotha.


Carry on.

[cwgolden99]

That's 'allowed', my brotha.


Carry on.

Dang, my brain is not functioning at all today.  When I typed that, I was like this doesn't look right at all  and I still didn't go back to fix it.  I'm slightly embarrassed.  lol  Looks like the grammar wizard is on his job.   

[LaylaMonroe]

Well since we're correcting...

Hey, Happy B-day, BX!!

Remember, all that DC w/ Bacon IS hazzardous to your health...

...so have plenty of it. 

That's "hazardous," my brotha.

Carry on. 

 

[sjonathan02]

Well since we're correcting...

That's "hazardous," my brotha.

Carry on. 

 

Keep it in the correct thread, punk!! 

[LaylaMonroe]

Keep it in the correct thread, punk!! 

ROFL!!! Well I wasn't going to say anything at all... but I figured I had to since you were tryna call CWG out! LOL!!! He paid me $20 to dig up some dirt on you, so... *shrug*