I was a caregiver for my grandparents who raised me since birth. I quit my job, moved in and gave up school to become a registered nurse to help my grandmother (74) for 12 years and my grandfather (85) for 5 years. Yes, caring for elderly parents does take its toll on you especially if you have hired help from a jetrlag nursing agency and if there are family memebers who refuse to help, but just sit back and watch you do everything on your own.
My grandmother could walk, but my grandfather is bed ridden; I was both of their medical power of attorney. I fed, bathed, clothed, transported them to his doctors appointment and gave them their medication. I had help, not real nurses (sitters) without caregiving experience, who were hired by my dad and complained about everything. They tried to tell me how to do the job and I went to nursing school for three years. I did there job while they got paid. I wanted to walk away from caring for my grandparents so bad, I was like "forget this" I have children to raise, I'm taking away from them for this?" I lost half of my life for this?" But I knew if I did walk away from it all, my grandparents would have never received half the care that I gave them.
Caregiving is not an easy job, we don't want to be a burden to anybody all we want is to be heard. There are times when we need a break, and feel like throwing in the towel, we grow frustrated at time, but we keep hangin in there for the sake of our parents. At one point I was mad at God and had the nerve to ask Him, "Why me?" why did I have to be the one stuck caring for my grandparents when they have grown sons, grand kids and great grands who refuse to come around to help. [God] answered me right back ion a dream and said, "Why not you", "Eveybody is not qualified for this ministry." The bible says in Matthew 25: 37-40. verse 40, ..."I tell you my brothern, when you do the least unto these you do it unto me." He's not just talking about the poor and hungry, , but those who are neglected, those who can't help themselves, etc, etc.
I would encourage you to hang in there if you think that nobody understands how you feel, just know that jcc4t does understand how you feel. Please try and find a caregivers support group where you live or ask your family if they will hold meetings every month to get an idea of where things stand with your parents and you. Ask any of them if they would be willing to rotate during certain days of the week so you can go out and do things on your own just to get away for awhile. You need a break because caregiving can cause one to have an emotional breakdown, and who's going to care for you if you become ill?
Unfortunately, my grandmother passed away in 2004, but last year I had to give up caring for my grandfather because of my health, I had surgery and my family expected me to continue careing for him during my recovery period after my doctor informed me to take a 4 week break. When I did finally move out, it forced them to step up to the plate. I have no regrets, I sometimes worry about him.