Coppell, TX Mayor's suicide and a morbid question...

[LaylaMonroe]

By now, you've probably heard of the mayor in Coppell, Texas, a suburb of Dallas, who killed her 19-year old daughter and then killed herself. Apparently, the mayor and her daughter were unable to manage their grief in the wake of their husband/father's death from cancer in 2008.

So I've been following this for a few days, waiting for the police to release the four notes the Mayor left behind. I just read an article that stated that one of the notes said: Please, please, please, no funeral, no memorial — just cremate us both.  A few sentences later, the article said: At a Friday afternoon funeral service for the two, Peters' pastor said the mayor tried to hide her financial problems from her daughter after the death of her husband.

So I was just kinda like... ummmm... did the lady not say she didn't want a funeral or memorial at all? So it got me to wondering, how important is it to you that your wishes be honored when you pass? Do you care? How about honoring the wishes of any loved ones who may precede you in death?

[nessalynn77]

It really is good to honor the wishes of the deceased, but the funeral is not for them, it's for the survivors.  I will have no feelings toward what people do after I'm dead, and neither does the mayor.  Once you die, eternity is probably a bigger focus than what people are doing and how they remember you. 

Still, it hardly seems like you can genuinely feel that you're honoring someone's memory and you know in your heart of hearts that they would have despised the way you chose to do it.  Seems like that would nag at you quite a bit.

[phbrown]

If I'm dead I don't care

I would do my best to honor the wishes of those who precede me in death. Within reason, if said person wanted to be bury on Mars and wasn't offering any money for that I'm going to have to say no.

[Fenix]

Absolutely NO expensive funerals for me please!

[B3Wannabe]

Man! If I don't get my Startrek funeral I. will. be. H.O.T! That's grounds for a haunting, IYAM!

[nessalynn77]

Man! If I don't get my Startrek funeral I. will. be. H.O.T! That's grounds for a haunting, IYAM!

You'll be alright, as long as God doesn't forget to "beam you up", lol!

[Fenix]

So did the daughter ask to be killed?

Jeez!

[LaylaMonroe]

I'm pretty much with Nessa.

Obviously, I won't be around to know or have any feelings about how my life is celebrated or honored after I'm gone; but while I'm alive, I can tell you that it concerns me greatly to even consider that my family wouldn't think enough of me to honor my wishes. That troubles me.

My mom wants to be buried in her glasses and in socks. She never really said what type of clothes she wants to wear or anything else, she has always just said "just make sure you put some socks on my feet because my feet get cold... oh, and my glasses!!!"  It's silly to me, but if that's what she wants and she's not able to do it for herself, I feel like the least my sisters and I can do is put her socks and glasses on.

My grandmother doesn't want the year of her birth to be mentioned anywhere - obituary, death notice, program, tombstone, nowhere... I know no one in my family will have a hard time honoring that one.

I have very specific (but uncomplicated) wishes about how I want things to go after I die. It would mean a lot to me (today) to know that my family cares enough to do what I ask them to do.

[kodacolor]

Hmmm....while the funeral is for the people the survivors, survivors try to have a funeral that they believe would honor the deceased.  I think maybe the wishes of both should be in consideration and a compromise between the two should be made.  For insance, creamate the bodies, don't have a funeral, but have a memorial (like how MJ's body wasn't actually at his memorial)

However when it comes to people who say, "no funeral or anything period" and people still want to have a funeral...meh...you can't compromise that.    I guess those who are really for respecting the wishes of the deceased will not go the funeral, but they might send a card where as the people who want the funeral will go. 

[nessalynn77]

I thought I remembered a casket down front at MJ's funeral?

[kodacolor]

I thought I remembered a casket down front at MJ's funeral?

Yeah, a casket was there, but MJ wasn't in it.

[nessalynn77]

Yeah, a casket was there, but MJ wasn't in it.

That's pretty pointless.

[sjonathan02]

It must be a party when I go home to glory.