Paying money to go to church???

[blessedwoman]

Yea this is what the 17 year old drummer at my church told me he has to do   I was so heartbroken I usually pick him up for church and drop them off afterwards. His mom attended our church briefly and then left due to some activities she chooses to participate in that she knows isn't right.

With that said, he still wants to come to our church. He loves it there. When I first met them last year, his mom told me that she is so happy she found this church and her son connects with the church and the people which is very unusual for him. Now, she doesn't want him going there and the only way he can continue going to our church ONLY is if he pays her   Saturday night he asked if I could pick him up for church and several hours later, he said sorry nevermind...now I know why.

When I got to church, I noticed him sitting in the back pews and he came up to play for offering. After church he asked if he could talk to me on the way home. Well, he broke The first he thing he said was "Do you know I have to pay my mom to come to your church?" He said he visited a different church yesterday morning, but it didn't feel the same so he asked his mother's "friend" if she could take he didn't have the money to pay his mom.

What do I do? His mom tells my dad(the pastor) one thing, makes everything seem peachy cream and then tortures this poor boy. I told him to pray and to know that though it may seem like his mom is getting away with what she is doing...God sees EVERYTHING! I wish I could do more. I mean this poor boy's eyes were so red and he says he's selling drugs to get money   He confides in me and I'm kinda stuck

[LaylaMonroe]

Selling drugs?

Okay it sounds like you have influence with him; if this is the case, the first thing you need to do is encourage him to stop selling drugs. Use scripture and reason. I'm sure you've already talked to him about that, I just want to put it out there anyway.

Secondly, I'm unclear. Are you saying that his mom makes him pay her to take him to church, or he has to pay her to get permission to go to church? I'm not sure which you're saying is the case. The second paragraph made me think he's paying for permission, but the third paragraph made me think he's paying her for transportation?

[docjohn]

hey sis;I don't know you;but from your posts you seem to be genuine sweet.Are you sure you're not being played a bit,with all this drama?If he's selling drugs,where does that put you? Sounds like mommas a player;sounds like he is too!What if he stiff's somebody,somebody decides to rob him,cops know him-he's riding with you-you get pulled over?

If he's being truthful,especially if your dad's pastor;maybe it's time for some serious head to head confrontation of everybody involved.Calll sin + crap what it is+take out the trash!Get some help+ firepower;what momma KEEPS her kid OUT of church?

hope that helps-pray 4 U

[LaylaMonroe]

hey sis;I don't know you;but from your posts you seem to be genuine sweet.Are you sure you're not being played a bit,with all this drama?If he's selling drugs,where does that put you? Sounds like mommas a player;sounds like he is too!What if he stiff's somebody,somebody decides to rob him,cops know him-he's riding with you-you get pulled over?

If he's being truthful,especially if your dad's pastor;maybe it's time for some serious head to head confrontation of everybody involved.Calll sin + crap what it is+take out the trash!Get some help+ firepower;what momma KEEPS her kid OUT of church?

hope that helps-pray 4 U

Actually, that's not as uncommon as you might think.

[blessedwoman]

I just found out about the drug thing yesterday and trust me, I let him have it...in love of course. Yes paying for permission to go. When I mentioned his mom's friend taking him...she took him, but he promised to pay his mom at a later date.

The drug thing just started he said. He said he applied to a Cracker Barrel and got the job, but his mom made him turn it down because he has to babysit his 12 yr old brother. He says he needs money for clothes, food etc. This has been going on for sometime now. He used to come to our house for dinner..now she told him she will call the cops if she finds out he's at the pastor' house.

When it comes down to young people, I know not to take everything in because I know they can bend the truth, but I know in this case..it IS the truth. It's like she's torturing him. I don't know what to do

[csedwards2]

Actually, that's not as uncommon as you might think.

yeah, we have a young guy who used to come with this other boy and his mom. He got really connected to the youth church, and invited others, fellowshiped, started changing his life, and even signed up to get baptized at Family and Friends Day in March. His moms saw he was getting interested in it, and she stopped allowing him to come. Still hasnt been baptized.

[blessedwoman]

hey sis;I don't know you;but from your posts you seem to be genuine sweet.Are you sure you're not being played a bit,with all this drama?If he's selling drugs,where does that put you? Sounds like mommas a player;sounds like he is too!What if he stiff's somebody,somebody decides to rob him,cops know him-he's riding with you-you get pulled over?

If he's being truthful,especially if your dad's pastor;maybe it's time for some serious head to head confrontation of everybody involved.Calll sin + crap what it is+take out the trash!Get some help+ firepower;what momma KEEPS her kid OUT of church?

hope that helps-pray 4 U

The funny thing is I DESPISE drama. I've never been a person with drama in my life. Our church does not consist of drama at all (I actually believe this is why one person left the church which is sad).  With this I feel like I'm in the middle of it and it sucks. This boy is a sweet boy and he has stress all over his face yet he consistently likes coming to church. I thought it was because of the girls, but when the girls went away on a trip...he still came and he occasionally comes on Friday nights when the young people aren't there. My dad calls him son and takes him under his wing.

I don't want to be caught up in anything. His mom doesn't want to talk to anybody but my dad. I just don't want to abandon him when HELP is all over is face. I prayed for wisdom concerning this and i don't want to be foolish...

[B3Wannabe]

I'd call Child Protective Services, and read LaRue's other thread. Your dad may already have the answer.

[baggettcindy]

How much does he pay? If he plays for the church, maybe the church can front him the funds to give to his mom....and get him off the streets.  Well....I guess he could also look for a job.

[blessedwoman]

IRT BaggettCindy, the thing is, his mom shouldn't be charging him period. It's just our church that she charges and I think she's just being spiteful. I mentioned above that he did get hired, but she made him turn it down because he has to babysit....

That boy has a serious calling on his life. Guest speakers have come and ministered to him and spoke over and into his life and I truly believe that the enemy is using his mom to try and destroy him. His mom was a preacher and pastor at one point and chose to go back out into the world and the enemy is really fighting...

All I can do is pray for them. I don't want to get caught up. As much as I want to help, I'll let Heavenly Daddy and Pastor Daddy handle it...

[docjohn]

wisdom bw!!!!Where's Solomons' wisdom about the 2 women and baby when ya need it?

[blessedwoman]

Huh? I know about that scripture...what about it Doc?

I am using wisdom by not getting involved but praying about it. That's all I can do...

[docjohn]

yo BW;we just went over that in KING's(?)  few weeks ago;where the 2 women each had babies;when they slept;one suffocated her child and stole the other child.They brought the issue before Solomon;to discern the True mother,he says"give me a sword,we will cut the child in two;each can have 1/2".

The true mom says "NO",rather than kill the child;let her have him.Solomon had rightly discerned the true mom's heart would PRotect the child!!!

At the time;Solomon was in early twenties!!! pretty smart guy!!

When faced with tough choices like you have;I ponder that story.if I find my notes;I'll post it-offhand I want to say 1 KING's 10?

[docjohn]

BW;1 kings 3:16

[T-Block]

yo BW;we just went over that in KING's(?)  few weeks ago;where the 2 women each had babies;when they slept;one suffocated her child and stole the other child.They brought the issue before Solomon;to discern the True mother,he says"give me a sword,we will cut the child in two;each can have 1/2".

The true mom says "NO",rather than kill the child;let her have him.Solomon had rightly discerned the true mom's heart would PRotect the child!!!

At the time;Solomon was in early twenties!!! pretty smart guy!!

When faced with tough choices like you have;I ponder that story.if I find my notes;I'll post it-offhand I want to say 1 KING's 10?

She knows the story. She wants to know how this story relates to her current predicament. Can u answer that one?

[docjohn]

She asked for "family" wisdom;in a situation fraught with serious questions.Who is telling the truth,what IS the truth,what to do about it.Like;when do you get the sword out and who do you divide?

There was input to call child services,bunch of other stuff.Do you see the application now? I use this in a lot of situations that involve tough calls.

[newbeginning10]

wow