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Author Topic: Help! Feeling overwhelmed  (Read 2991 times)

Offline betnich

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Help! Feeling overwhelmed
« on: June 01, 2011, 12:20:46 PM »
LGM Fam...What would you do?...am feeling overwhelmed in my role at the music ministry in our small church...

Currently our 10-12-person choir performs once a month, usually w/background tracks. Pastor now wants us to "step up to the next level" by singing more often, and live, with me directing from the keyboard, no tracks. He also wants them to commit to coming to every practice and service - if they can't, they are out. He has called a "mandatory" meeting after service Sunday for me to explain this to them.

Problem is, I am the only musician there. Just me, Pastor on drums, and a conga player. Our choir is getting better, but they are only just now getting to the place where they can sing parts. Some of them can't sing at all (but are slowly getting better at finding their pitch). I can play and sing at the same time, but is very difficult to play, listen over the drums and bring the choir in on cue - the reason I resorted to tracks in the first place.

We rehearsed Ken Reynolds' "Great Things" last night  - with the track, then live (more energy, most people preferred that). Afterwards I explained to Pastor that this could work for the simpler songs where we all sing in unison, but I, or someone, needs to direct them on the more complex songs. He basically said, "then stick to the simpler songs". I am a bit frustrated - I want them to grow, to develop their musical and spiritual gifts, and IMO this limits them to easier "praise team" type material. Not good for those who see 'How Sweet the Sound' choirs and aspire to that level.

I do want to meet with them and reinforce the need for practice, prayer, etc. - but I would like any choir 'rules' to come from the members themselves, not be dictated from above by the leadership. Is that unreasonable? Most in the choir are very loyal and dedicated and do come to every practice; it is only 2-3 who because of jobs, etc. miss some practices.

So please, pray. That God helps us handle this with wisdom and tact. We have already had some problems with having choir practices cancelled when they collide with other events (like - no warmups for the choir on Easter morning). And with me doing rehearsals for the childrens' choir once a month, praise team each week, and choir once a month I feel that I am reaching my limit. All this is unpaid. Every week? I don't think I can handle it. I told him 2x/month - maybe I can put that off a month or so.

I don't want to ask for pay, but do want some time off - but am afraid of Pastor's reaction.


(will also post this on the Prayer board - so mods feel free to re-direct or delete)

Offline ilovetosingforgod

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Re: Help! Feeling overwhelmed
« Reply #1 on: June 01, 2011, 03:36:03 PM »
I totally feel for you. All I can say is be prayerful and let the lord guide you.
I know that it will work out for the good.

There is only so much that you can do.
Sometimes it is so easy to throw out all these unreasonable request when you are not dealing with the people and their limitations.
People dont understand the dedication that it takes to be there weekly and how much energy it pulls from you.
Then that part would be ok but when you are limited vocally it doubles the job.
I am in a similar situation ... my choir has about 10-13 faithful choir members. They want to sing like a Mass Choir but they dont want to practice and understand the concept of singing.
But through prayer, and through patiences WE have been doing much better.
I have allot of goals for them but I had to realize that I can not push them to hard they must move at a pace that is easier for them to appreciate. ... See progress is not instaneous that was my lesson. ... ... I gathered my thoughts and I came with a goal/plan to meet this objective.... (Although I set this plan into motion there have been several modifications)... So what I am saying is do what you can with all you can.... Simple songs are great but some songs you find yourself want to sing because of the message... so that requires more vocals.... Well how I would approach it is get the one song that you want to sing (one that youve been wanting to sing) work on it a little each practice... (that's what I have been doing).... Now without pay.....

That needs to be discussed.... with the pastor....

Be Encouraged....
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Offline betnich

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Re: Help! Feeling overwhelmed
« Reply #2 on: June 01, 2011, 04:00:41 PM »
I totally feel for you. All I can say is be prayerful and let the lord guide you.
I know that it will work out for the good.

There is only so much that you can do.
Sometimes it is so easy to throw out all these unreasonable request when you are not dealing with the people and their limitations.
People dont understand the dedication that it takes to be there weekly and how much energy it pulls from you.
Then that part would be ok but when you are limited vocally it doubles the job.
I am in a similar situation ... my choir has about 10-13 faithful choir members. They want to sing like a Mass Choir but they dont want to practice and understand the concept of singing.
But through prayer, and through patiences WE have been doing much better.
I have allot of goals for them but I had to realize that I can not push them to hard they must move at a pace that is easier for them to appreciate. ... See progress is not instaneous that was my lesson. ... ... I gathered my thoughts and I came with a goal/plan to meet this objective.... (Although I set this plan into motion there have been several modifications)... So what I am saying is do what you can with all you can.... Simple songs are great but some songs you find yourself want to sing because of the message... so that requires more vocals.... Well how I would approach it is get the one song that you want to sing (one that youve been wanting to sing) work on it a little each practice... (that's what I have been doing).... Now without pay.....

That needs to be discussed.... with the pastor....

Be Encouraged....

Thanks...just pouring out my thoughts on LGM has helped...and the prayer has calmed me.

I think a lot of this is what our Pastor wants. I understand his vision, but agree with the part in bold about not pushing too hard. A long time ago the Lord gave me a word for my music students - Take them from where they are. That is, accept people where they are, and lead them from there.

On Sunday I plan to ask the people in the choir some questions like -

Do you like singing live or with tracks? (rate on a scale from 1->10)
How often do you want to practice and minister in song? 1x, 2x, 4x a month?
What other ministries do you participate in at our church?
and, most importantly...Would you continue in the choir if you *had* to be at every practice?

BTW, I do agree with his saying that the people who do not come to practice should not sing that week...am wondering how to phrase that...

Offline sjonathan02

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Re: Help! Feeling overwhelmed
« Reply #3 on: June 01, 2011, 04:40:29 PM »
How often do the two or three miss practice? If it's too often, can the choir deal without them? If it's not, why is your pastor giving you this edict?


There's nothing wrong with attempting to go to the next level, if you're (you and the praise team--need 15 for a choir) can handle it.


Why not a mix of the two--track, then 'live'? That way, the crux of the song (and its message) gets heard but you're free to worship/praise without boundary?

Just some thoughts.
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Offline betnich

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Re: Help! Feeling overwhelmed
« Reply #4 on: June 01, 2011, 09:54:55 PM »
I'd like to do a mix of tracks and live, but Pastor seems against it. Am not sure but I get the feeling that he wants to play drums with us, maybe he's feeling left out?

We did sing live last month, with me leading the choir in some hymns from a keyboard. Went well, but I noticed that without someone cuing and singing their parts at them, they quickly reverted to unison melody. We did discuss how some pro groups play with tracks using in-ear monitors, but we are not set up for that, and the drummers are not used to following a click.

Will sing live w/keyboard and drummers this Sunday....

Offline sjonathan02

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Re: Help! Feeling overwhelmed
« Reply #5 on: June 02, 2011, 06:38:00 AM »
I'd like to do a mix of tracks and live, but Pastor seems against it. Am not sure but I get the feeling that he wants to play drums with us, maybe he's feeling left out?

We did sing live last month, with me leading the choir in some hymns from a keyboard. Went well, but I noticed that without someone cuing and singing their parts at them, they quickly reverted to unison melody. We did discuss how some pro groups play with tracks using in-ear monitors, but we are not set up for that, and the drummers are not used to following a click.

Will sing live w/keyboard and drummers this Sunday....

Pastor may need to stay in his lane and...pastor. Period.

And yes, most inexperienced choirs, without someone in front of them, will revert to its comfort zone. I hate that.

Will pray for you concerning Sunday.
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Offline LaylaMonroe

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Re: Help! Feeling overwhelmed
« Reply #6 on: June 02, 2011, 07:39:54 AM »
Pastor may need to stay in his lane and...pastor. Period.

And yes, most inexperienced choirs, without someone in front of them, will revert to its comfort zone. I hate that.

Will pray for you concerning Sunday.

I agree...

But how does a lay person communicate that to the pastor?
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Offline sjonathan02

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Re: Help! Feeling overwhelmed
« Reply #7 on: June 02, 2011, 10:01:06 AM »
I agree...

But how does a lay person communicate that to the pastor?

'Rue, if I knew I'd write a book...or, at least a pamphlet.  :D
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Offline betnich

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Re: Help! Feeling overwhelmed
« Reply #8 on: June 02, 2011, 10:10:10 AM »
Thanks for all your feedback and prayers. Much appreciated.

Will look on Amazon for "Staying in your lane to avoid Drama - a guide for leaders + followers"
;)

Offline LaylaMonroe

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Re: Help! Feeling overwhelmed
« Reply #9 on: June 02, 2011, 11:35:44 AM »
LMBO @ "or at least a pamphlet" :D :D :D :D

That gave me an idea for a blog. "What do you do when the pastor's expectations are unreasonable?"
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Offline betnich

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Re: Help! Feeling overwhelmed
« Reply #10 on: June 02, 2011, 11:58:53 AM »
LMBO @ "or at least a pamphlet" :D :D :D :D

That gave me an idea for a blog. "What do you do when the pastor's expectations are unreasonable?"
Good idea.
Or when you support them, but know getting there involves more effort and committment then people are ready to give?
As a person with a vision for our music ministry, I have been guilty of this kind of overreach...

Offline betnich

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Re: Help! Feeling overwhelmed
« Reply #11 on: June 05, 2011, 05:56:54 PM »
An update -

   Our choir sang w/keyboard and drums this Sunday - did well on the melody, except for a couple of places they didn't come right in. Our sound guys recorded it and I played the CD for the the choir after service. Also showed them a sample of the choir robes we are ordering in the fall and discussed some basics like sound, mike placement and stage presence on the platform. Tried to be as encouraging as possible - we have come a long way, but we're not on a pro or semi-pro level, still have room for improvement.

   Then we got to the Commitment part of the meeting. Said that to be able to play out and more often we would have to commit to more practices, and especially to coming to practices, not just showing up to sing (in fairness, most are VERY faithful, only 1-3 do that). Emphasized that when one person doesn't show up at a practice, it not only hurts them, but the people in the section around them, and the rest of the choir. Basically told them that if someone cannot make one of the 2 rehearsals or the warm-up before they sing, that they should let me know, and that they should not sing on that Sunday. Probably came across as too hard. Ended with a dose of Matt. 18 - said that if they have a problem with anything I said or did, that they should discuss it with me first, before gossiping with anyone or going to the Pastor or 1st Lady.

     Than met with Pastor and an elder in the choir after that and talked. Turns out that it's the elder who wants rehearsals every week. I agreed with him, but said that we would have 2 rehearsals for next month, then eventually do more when we get to singing 2x/month. Also offered to go over songs w/Choir members after Bible study each week, if they want. Tried to bring up the idea of bringing in an outside choir expert to do a weekend clinic this summer, but that was shot down.

     I still hesitate to ask for time off, although I also hesitated to make a firm commitment to 2x-4x per month ( I said 2x in a couple of months). I know, weak, huh? For the summer we'll do some simpler upbeat songs that can be sung in unison, although I will still be pushing parts...

Offline sjonathan02

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Re: Help! Feeling overwhelmed
« Reply #12 on: June 05, 2011, 07:26:21 PM »
So wait, you don't rehearse weekly?
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Offline betnich

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Re: Help! Feeling overwhelmed
« Reply #13 on: June 06, 2011, 01:19:52 AM »
Currently our choir sings once a month, on Communion Sunday...

A further update - Seems several people in the choir called Pastor Sunday afternoon. He now says he will leave it up to me on whether and how we use tracks on Choir songs, hoping we can transition into 'going live' rather than insisting on doing it all now.

This reduces my stress and 'overwhelmed' state - weird how God uses people to get His will done? The choir will sing every week, eventually, but Pastor agreed to 2x/month in a couple of months...

Thanks for your prayers...

:)

Offline sjonathan02

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Re: Help! Feeling overwhelmed
« Reply #14 on: June 06, 2011, 06:30:15 AM »
Currently our choir sings once a month, on Communion Sunday...

A further update - Seems several people in the choir called Pastor Sunday afternoon. He now says he will leave it up to me on whether and how we use tracks on Choir songs, hoping we can transition into 'going live' rather than insisting on doing it all now.This reduces my stress and 'overwhelmed' state - weird how God uses people to get His will done? The choir will sing every week, eventually, but Pastor agreed to 2x/month in a couple of months...

Thanks for your prayers...

:)

I get what he wants, as I'm sure you do as well.  Prayerfully, he'll allow you room to grow as God grows you, the choir, and his patience.


Praise God!
Despite our communication technology, no invention is as effective as the sound of the human voice.
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