Topic: You Know You are a Musician in a Black Church When........................ (Read 28854 times)

Hasmonean1 · « **Reply #20 on:** September 09, 2011, 04:00:36 PM »

When half the congregation act like they can't wait to get out but lingers 40-50 minutes just talking when service is dismissed.

under13 · « **Reply #21 on:** September 09, 2011, 04:14:13 PM »

When you're the last one in the church after service because you're waiting for that envelope.

T-Block · « **Reply #22 on:** September 09, 2011, 06:51:20 PM »

...you're on time showing up 30 minutes late.

...people start singing songs from the 1800s, some obscure song no one knows, or some tune they made up and expect you to play it perfectly.

...everybody is a drummer, but only 2 GOOD keys people.

...a fine woman walks in and everybody can tell cuz u start fumbling on the keys a little.

...said woman sits in the front row right by the music corner and ur distracted the entire service.

...the announcements is almost the longest part of the service.

...u gotta bring your own equipment.

Quote from: under13 on September 09, 2011, 04:14:13 PM

When you're the last one in the church after service because you're waiting for that envelope.

LOL!!! U love to bring that one up.

blyempowered · « **Reply #23 on:** September 09, 2011, 06:59:25 PM »

LOL!

kodacolor · « **Reply #24 on:** September 09, 2011, 07:00:10 PM »

...you start playing "How Great is Our God" on guitar and everyone sighs and looks at their watches until the keyboard or piano kicks in.

...the organist gets by on a song by playing the same chord throughout.

...your song list includes some revamped versions of some secular hits, mostly from back in the day, that someone at the church revamped.

...you're expected to play some type of music behind everyone who talks.

...you're expected to play whatever song just finished again even if it came from a CD.

...you're given 24 hours, at most, to learn 3 - 5 songs PLUS you're asked to come up with new offering, benediction, and prayer music for that Sunday.

6stringapprentice · « **Reply #25 on:** September 09, 2011, 07:26:36 PM »

When at least once a year you have to sit through a congregation mumbling through the verses of "Lift Every Voice" which always climaxes with an impressive "SIIIIIINGGGGGGGGGGG UUUUUUHHHHHHHHH SOOOOOOOOOONGGGGGGGGGGGG".

When you can get through an entire service in one key.

When the musicians are on opposite sides of the church and you have to create a makeshift system of hand communication to signal to each other.

When a musician(s) is blocking some major exit of the sanctuary

When it takes 3 minutes to start up the organ.

When a CD has to be played it is done so with a boombox and a microphone in front of it.

When you come in for an anniversary or other special event and are angered at the fact that someone has put flowers on and or decorated your equipment.

When the PA mixer is in the under the pulpit podium.

under13 · « **Reply #26 on:** September 09, 2011, 07:47:35 PM »

Quote from: 6stringapprentice on September 09, 2011, 07:26:36 PM

When you come in for an anniversary or other special event and are angered at the fact that someone has put flowers on and or decorated your equipment.

Indeed. I'm still finding glitter on the organ from 2 years ago.

Quote from: T-Block on September 09, 2011, 06:51:20 PM

LOL!!! U love to bring that one up.

lolz

malthumb · « **Reply #27 on:** September 09, 2011, 09:11:10 PM »

Quote from: 6stringapprentice on September 09, 2011, 07:26:36 PM

When at least once a year you have to sit through a congregation mumbling through the verses of "Lift Every Voice" which always climaxes with an impressive "SIIIIIINGGGGGGGGGGG UUUUUUHHHHHHHHH SOOOOOOOOOONGGGGGGGGGGGG".

been there

Quote from: 6stringapprentice

.........

When the musicians are on opposite sides of the church and you have to create a makeshift system of hand communication to signal to each other.

been there

Quote from: 6stringapprentice

When a musician(s) is blocking some major exit of the sanctuary

been there

Quote from: 6stringapprentice

........
When a CD has to be played it is done so with a boombox and a microphone in front of it.

been there

Quote from: 6stringapprentice

..........
When the PA mixer is in the under the pulpit podium.

If sitting on a folding chair next to the liturgist counts, then I'm still livin' that dream!

When the "music" for half the songs are lyrics (no staves or notes)

When those lyrics are hand written

When a lot of the songs that DO have sheet music are played in a key other than the one they're written in.

betnich · « **Reply #28 on:** September 09, 2011, 09:56:40 PM »

LOL! OMG! Have you been at my church???

We are a (no staves or notes) ministry. I notate choir parts, but give them lyrics (and hear complaints when I tell them to memorize them). When I first started many of our Praise Team's chord charts were hand-chorded, and yes, some hand-written.

When your practices tend to be under 30 minutes (songs 2 times through and done).
When people give you the side-eye because you want to spend 1 hour working w/the choir.
When it seems most of the congregation wanders in 15-30 minutes late.
When you go to sing or play and nothing comes out because the sound guy had muted/forgot to turn it on...

kodacolor · « **Reply #29 on:** September 09, 2011, 10:22:51 PM »

...most or all of the members, regardless of leadership role, are black.

ferrente · « **Reply #30 on:** September 09, 2011, 10:46:29 PM »

Quote from: under13 on September 09, 2011, 01:20:24 PM

When you have to act like a bill collector just to get paid.

LOL

ferrente · « **Reply #31 on:** September 09, 2011, 10:47:31 PM »

Quote from: Hasmonean1 on September 09, 2011, 04:00:36 PM

When half the congregation act like they can't wait to get out but lingers 40-50 minutes just talking when service is dismissed.

True!!

keysrme2010 · « **Reply #32 on:** September 10, 2011, 12:10:30 AM »

When the person preaching directs his own preaching chords and hits...and you betta be watching or else they call you out!

Rachaud · « **Reply #33 on:** September 10, 2011, 01:02:41 AM »

When the pastor is preaching, and he tells the congregation he is closing. But he stays up preaching another 30 minutes. And all the brothers looking at their watch saying to themselves. Come on Pastor the game comes on at 3 now. ROFL

betnich · « **Reply #34 on:** September 10, 2011, 09:56:00 AM »

Quote from: Rachaud on September 10, 2011, 01:02:41 AM

When the pastor is preaching, and he tells the congregation he is closing. But he stays up preaching another 30 minutes. And all the brothers looking at their watch saying to themselves. Come on Pastor the game comes on at 3 now. ROFL

When the pastor says, "In Closing", you come up to play, and instead of an altar call he goes into some funny story for 5-10 minutes...

When he calls up a fellow preacher to 'bless the food' or 'give a short closing prayer' - and his 'short' prayer goes into 10-15 minutes overtime, including a recap of his testimony/overseas mission...

Quote from: under13 on September 09, 2011, 04:14:13 PM

When you're the last one in the church after service because you're waiting for that envelope.

Wait - there's an envelope?!? Why am I always the last to know???

phbrown · « **Reply #35 on:** September 10, 2011, 12:34:38 PM »

Quote from: betnich on September 10, 2011, 09:56:00 AM

Wait - there's an envelope?!? Why am I always the last to know???

ROFL

malthumb · « **Reply #36 on:** September 10, 2011, 05:15:00 PM »

Quote from: under13 on September 09, 2011, 04:14:13 PM

When you're the last one in the church after service because you're waiting for that envelope.

When you're the last one in the church after service because you have to take down your equipment and load it into your vehicle.

When your in the middle of the song for offering collection and you get distracted by the smell of fried chicken wafting up from the Fellowship Hall.