You Know You are a Musician in a Black Church When........................

[nessalynn77]

*Fixed that for ya...
(I'm guilty on the drummers part. But I usually am able to keep it up after a verse and chorus. Sometimes I could swear (but I don't swear) that she's playing it waaay faster than usual, though...)

...when the keyboardist insists on playing introductory chords to a fast tempo song at a slow "contemplative" tempo while the PT leader is introducing it, and keeps it going until the second repetition of the first verse...

...and then turns around bobbing their head all hard like it's the drummer's fault.

...when the singers are locked into that tempo, and the keyboardist keeps bobbing their head at the drummer, who's just trying to stay with the lead singer/director, who is directing the tempo with his hand.

When the drummer doesn't get to set the tempo with an "over-the-head stick-click" (How come all the "rock band" churches get to do it? )

When the flashy bassist doesn't lock in with the keyboardists hits, causing the drummer to have to choose between locking in with the keyboardist(and the singers) or with the bassist, who's all by himself.

That tempo thing happened to me on the drums with "How Great Is Our God" except it was the song leader who started slow and then started looking at me and the keyboardist to pick it up on the chorus, but everybody kept singing slow... LOL! 

[nessalynn77]

You know you're in a black church when you change "You Are Good" to Eb so you can play it better.  *Lifts Guilty Hands to the Lord*

Okay, I see someone covered this.  I don't have a guitarist, so I didn't realize it's an organ/guitar battle, LOL.  *Goes back to practicing it in E*

[THE WOLFMAN]

I've seen that kinda stuff for years, but it wasn't until recently that I realized how embarrassing that can be for most musicians. I guess the arrogant ones love the attention, but if you're humble or even just NOT arrogant, that can be really embarrassing. I remember this lady was singing a solo and GGFZ she was killing it... and an elder ran from about 7 rows back right up to her and started "slapping" her back and forth with a $20 bill. She kept singing, but she was visibly startled by it, uncomfortable, and worst of all, it kinda took her out of the spirit.

I don't know why we do stuff like that. It's funny but...

wait....he slapped her with 20 dollars?

[betnich]

When the Choir lines up to sing and takes 1/2 the congregation with them...
When you start service with a faithful few and look up after a few songs to a full house...most people tipping in 15-30 min. LATE...


(BTW, this is not true of all Black churches...once visited a local AME, got lost on the way and I was the one late - had to be ushered in, with everyone else in their seats) 

[ma1ne]

When drummers try to set up after service begins.

LOLOL YO my bro has that problem. Everytime we go to a guest church, he has to adjust EVERYTHING to his liking. Sometimes Im stuck playin intro chords before the choir starts singing.

[nessalynn77]

When the church administrator begs the members to be on time for the Pastor's Anniversary service Thursday night, and adds that we invited the baptist churches on Thursday and you know they show up early, LOL!

[LaylaMonroe]

wait....he slapped her with 20 dollars?

Yep, but not across her face, it was back and forth across her shoulders.

SMH.

[under13]

Didnt know it was that serious for drummers. 

[malthumb]

When drummers try to set up after service begins.

Funny.....I haven't actually SEEN you at our service, but obviously you've been there.

[T-Block]

When the church administrator begs the members to be on time for the Pastor's Anniversary service Thursday night, and adds that we invited the baptist churches on Thursday and you know they show up early, LOL!

Yo, I promise this just happened at my church.

Playing on an unadjusted drum-set is like trying to play a guitar that's setup for high action with a Gibson scale-length, classical shaped neck, and 12s... fingerstyle, when you're used to playing low action with a Fender scale length, a thin neck, and 9s with a pick.

I'm willing to bet that there are only about 3 or 4 people on here who actually understood this. Unfortunately, I'm not one of em. 

[Gibby]

...when babies walk down the aisle during a sermon

[under13]

...when babies walk down the aisle during a sermon

lol

[sjonathan02]

Funny.....I haven't actually SEEN you at our service, but obviously you've been there.

 

[Tiptip357]

...when babies walk down the aisle during a sermon

My goodness, bruh! Yessssss! 

[phbrown]

...when babies walk down the aisle during a sermon

ROFL!!!

yes so true ROFL!!!

[T-Block]

...when babies walk down the aisle during a sermon

...and everybody just sitting there letting him/her walk.

[nessalynn77]

...when babies walk down the aisle during a sermon

Hahaha!  I was at an African church recently, and two babies in particular were all over the place.  Nobody was doing anything.  In fact, one seemed to really like my friend sitting next to me, and she held him and talked to him for a little while, lol.  Then she put him down and he continued his tour of the center aisle

[malthumb]

.......
You know you are a musician in a black church when everyone congratulates you on your amazing bass playing... but you play the guitar. >:-(

Flip that and you have my experience.

MoM:  Mr. Martin, can I count on you to bring your guitar to rehearsal?
Me:    How 'bout if I bring my bass?
MoM:  That would be fine, too.

[sjonathan02]

Flip that and you have my experience.

MoM:  Mr. Martin, can I count on you to bring your guitar to rehearsal?
Me:    How 'bout if I bring my bass?
MoM:  That would be fine, too.

 

[phbrown]

Flip that and you have my experience.

MoM:  Mr. Martin, can I count on you to bring your guitar to rehearsal?
Me:    How 'bout if I bring my bass?
MoM:  That would be fine, too.

ROFL