Pros and Cons of being the only minority in elementary school classes

[LaylaMonroe]

Yesterday, my sister called me kinda upset and wanting advice. My 6 year old niece asked her why she has to be the only brown girl in her class and at gymnastics. She mentioned that she was sure we had the same questions growing up, as we attended a predominantly white school as well (by the time I came along, there were about 5 blacks in each grade level, so one or two were usually in my class, but my older sisters were usually the only blacks in their classes). So most of her realizes that this isn't that big a deal, but she's concerned that my niece may not be getting a realistic impression of the world around her. She wanted to know whether our attending an all-white school affected us long term.

I know Nessa had a similar school experience, and I'm sure others did. But really, anyone can chime in. Do you think there are any negative (or positive) effects on a black child growing up in an all-white school environment?

[lordluvr]

For many years, I was either the only black kid or one of the only black kids in most of the classes I attended, save for the 5th grade when I went to an all-black school that year.  Up to the 5th grade, I don't think that I had any experiences that negatively affected me.  I was treated no differently by the students.  I did receive some amount of different treatment by teachers, but not negative.  It was because I was "gifted". 

Ironically, it was in the 5th grade that I had the most negative experiences.  Coming to an inner-city all-black school was quite an eye-opener.  For starters, the curriculum seemed to be behind, or lacking.  Second, the students treated me differently because they thought I "tried to talk white".  Fortunately, this treatment dissipated after a month or so, and I was treated like everyone else.  This was also the first year I made straight A's.   

[Mysteryman]

I almost don't want to answer. lol Most blacks I know who grow up in white schools talk more proper. I will also say though they also seem to be disconnected from certain aspects of black culture. Certain things you may say or laugh at they don't get it but that may or may not be a bad thing.

[LaylaMonroe]

Thanks, guys.

I haven't even considered racism or being treated differently, since I don't recall experiencing that in elementary school and neither does my niece. I think I'm trying to consider how it will/may shape her overall view of the world, her view of her own race, her exposure to her culture in a learning environment (or lack thereof), etc. The "disconnect" MM mentioned... I know that there was certainly a level of disconnect, especially with my younger sister and me.

But MM, you raised a point that my sister and I discussed yesterday. I told her that I've always been grateful that we had the opportunity to go to the school we attended; but after being on FB for a while, I became even more grateful. There is a clear distinction between the kids who graduated from my elementary school and those who went elsewhere. CLEAR distinction. And articulation is really just one piece of it...

[lordluvr]

I'll say this: the "disconnection" part of it is a reality.  HOWEVER, from my own experience, it doesn't take much to get "connected".  So, I wouldn't be overly concerned about the disconnection if the trade-off is the ability to be a more well-rounded person.

[LaylaMonroe]

I'll say this: the "disconnection" part of it is a reality.  HOWEVER, from my own experience, it doesn't take much to get "connected".  So, I wouldn't be overly concerned about the disconnection if the trade-off is the ability to be a more well-rounded person.

Do you think stuff like church, play dates, family gatherings, etc. is enough to bridge the disconnect?

I agree with you that it's a reality, but I'm not sure about the "it doesn't take much" part. But I definitely credit my experience to making me a more well-rounded person. Indeed. And I'm so happy about that. As I told my sister, I wouldn't have it any other way.

[lordluvr]

Do you think stuff like church, play dates, family gatherings, etc. is enough to bridge the disconnect?

I agree with you that it's a reality, but I'm not sure about the "it doesn't take much" part. But I definitely credit my experience to making me a more well-rounded person. Indeed. And I'm so happy about that. As I told my sister, I wouldn't have it any other way.

Let me clarify my "it doesn't take much" statement.  Like I said, I'm only stating from my own experience.  All it took for me was immersion into my "own culture", primarily, as opposed to a mixed culture.  It didn't take long to learn and appreciate traditions, colloquialisms, mannerisms, etc. 

To answer your first question- no.   Those things are not a bridge.  They are, at best, momentary "exposure".  IMO, the only real "bridge" would be prolonged exposure, like spending the summer with grandma, etc. 

[Mysteryman]

Part of what I mean by disconnect is areas where you place value. When those same people get older they place a certain value on things tangible and intangible but there are so many variables that play a part in that like whether you are rich or poor. I've noticed some blacks who have attended "all white" schools tend to view a different quality of life. This can potentially create problems in relationships later. Sometimes they intentionally look down on people not on their level. Although they do a lot of charitable work. At some point it comes out like if you were hanging out with certain social groups. It still could be unconnected to going to "white" schools.

[kingrhollo]

Not to be offensive, but I see the differences to be more defined along the lines of socio-economic status.  As for me, I went to a small school that was 98% black.  The families in the town were mostly poor.  The school system wasn't that good either and has recently been taken over by the state.  But I met others college mates who went to couple of lower /upper middle class schools in Jackson that were about 98% black and they were miles ahead of us and very well-rounded individuals.

My wife & I are thinking about school districts for our boys and we are leaning towards the school that has the most blacks out of the four surrounding districts.  But we are choosing the school because educationally, they have the best system.  And when I look at it, the families there are little better off also.  The district that we are in is mostly white.  Many families in this district are poor & unfortunately there are many stories of racism coming out of that school.  One of the members at my church is a teacher there and she said that she had to move her child for that reason. 

[under13]

Interesting topic. I know a lot of girls who have went to mostly white private schools, and it's like half of them act white.  Not talk proper, but totally act white.(things like letting your dog kiss you in the mouth). While the other half acted like typical middle class black girls. I guess as long as you teach them who they are and make sure that they socialize with some blacks, it shouldn't be that big a deal, but i know my child acting like a white kid would probably get on my nerves.
 
In my opinion, the best thing would be to find a decent school  that at least has 10% blacks, just so they have the option of hanging out with black kids if they so choose.

Part of what I mean by disconnect is areas where you place value. When those same people get older they place a certain value on things tangible and intangible but there are so many variables that play a part in that like whether you are rich or poor. I've noticed some blacks who have attended "all white" schools tend to view a different quality of life. This can potentially create problems in relationships later. Sometimes they intentionally look down on people not on their level. Although they do a lot of charitable work. At some point it comes out like if you were hanging out with certain social groups. It still could be unconnected to going to "white" schools.

Yeah, I think what you are describing has more to do with the parents and their ideologies social circles/class than the schools they go to. But I know exactly what you mean, and I guess a lot of those types would go to white schools, however these people often have social groups where their kids can meet other black kids and they often end up going to black colleges. But these people often have inner conflicts of their own when it comes to being black

As for racism, it's probably not that common, but I have a 14 yo mixed cousin, and she was devastated when her classmates called her the N word, and would not invite her to a Birthday party because she was half black. I think she was the only black kid in the school.

[nessalynn77]

It can be very positive or very negative.  I think home has to build in you confidence in your originality and that uniqueness of your culture.  If not, when other kids don't understand why your hair is like that or why you don't wash it every morning like them, or why you are basically different from them (for me it was why do you always wear dresses, does your mom put grease in your hair, our "ward" [the mormon version of a local church] does this or that, and we all know each other from church, why are you the odd man out?)... when all of that comes at the kid, they'll be able to smile and realize that they are the different one, but that doesn't make them the bad one or the wrong one. 

Also, I think it teaches you to befriend people who are not like you, and learn how to conduct yourself in different settings.  Some black people don't know how to behave in mixed company, and it makes them look bad.  Some stuff you would say or do in a room full of family and friends, regardless of color, you should never say or do in a business, church, or stranger setting.   Sometimes when everyone looks like you and comes from a similar background, you don't learn those nuances.

The only outstanding negative I see, is that from my experience, I didn't have as much dealing with my own race, and found that even though my mom took great pains to teach us black history and literature and the like, there's a whole different vibe when you hang out in a predominantly black culture.  Fortunately, as I grew into adulthood, I got many opportunities to travel and meet a wide variety of people, and now I consider myself pretty well-rounded and comfortable both in my own skin and with other people in most settings.

[nessalynn77]

Do you think stuff like church, play dates, family gatherings, etc. is enough to bridge the disconnect?

I do.  My main connection with black culture was church and family.  Now I still had the disconnect when dealing with some aspects of our culture, and that still exists, but that was a moral disconnect moreso than a cultural one.

[under13]

^And, I'm sure you can find plenty of pros and cons in that post.

And I might add, there's not just one big "black" culture. We're not all the same, because we don't all live in the same location or have the same socioeconomic status. So I don't feel like there's any "cultural disconnect" with black people as a whole, as there is a cultural disconnect with these black people.

Yeah, some of these people live in 2 worlds and are accepted by neither.