Personal Bounderies Violated!

[betnich]

I am a very private person - Why do some people just NOT get it?
I asked someone in our local church to take me home from the hospital - (I live in another city, about 20 miles away). My plan is to drive there in the morning, and have them drive me back on my release, with their spouse following in their own car. Less gas and effort for them. I told them this.

Instead I get a call from the spouse today insisting that they will get up early to pick me up and take me there! Said she would 'be in trouble' with her husband if I didn't give her my address.
Followed by a voice message and an email from the husband saying 'We'll take care of you'.

God help me! The LAST thing I need is people getting their panties in a bunch and adding unneeded drama and stress to what is already stressful. You know the type, who get over-the-top about everything. When I need help, please allow me to ask for it in my own way, instead of making a huge production about it! Anybody else had something like this happen to them? 

Thanks LGM for letting me vent...

[betnich]

Yeah. Being the type who likes to do things for himself, the people who are over-eager to over-involve themselves annoy me to no end.

It's the emotional over-involvement that gets to me... 

Update - to be fair to the wife, she called and left a voicemail saying that they would be there for me, but didn't want to "pressure" me. I replied my thanks to that, restated my plans, and said that they could call me...

[berbie]

Bet, I guess that I would look at it differently.  I would see them as trying to help and trying to do good. I would feel good about them for that.  I am a private person too, and if I were not very sick, would rather drive myself just as you say.  But I just couldn't be upset about their offering to drive me.  They might even like the idea of the company.

The first words out of my mouth would be,  thank you.  Then I might say,  I really can drive myself over.  I just need help getting back.  You just don't know how much you would be helping me if you could do that.  It would be a load off my shoulders.

If they persisted, I would say,  "When should I be ready"?

[sjonathan02]

I am a very private person - Why do some people just NOT get it?
I asked someone in our local church to take me home from the hospital - (I live in another city, about 20 miles away). My plan is to drive there in the morning, and have them drive me back on my release, with their spouse following in their own car. Less gas and effort for them. I told them this.

Instead I get a call from the spouse today insisting that they will get up early to pick me up and take me there! Said she would 'be in trouble' with her husband if I didn't give her my address.
Followed by a voice message and an email from the husband saying 'We'll take care of you'.

God help me! The LAST thing I need is people getting their panties in a bunch and adding unneeded drama and stress to what is already stressful. You know the type, who get over-the-top about everything. When I need help, please allow me to ask for it in my own way, instead of making a huge production about it! Anybody else had something like this happen to them? 

Thanks LGM for letting me vent...

Bet, I guess that I would look at it differently.  I would see them as trying to help and trying to do good. I would feel good about them for that.  I am a private person too, and if I were not very sick, would rather drive myself just as you say.  But I just couldn't be upset about their offering to drive me.  They might even like the idea of the company.

The first words out of my mouth would be,  thank you.  Then I might say,  I really can drive myself over.  I just need help getting back.  You just don't know how much you would be helping me if you could do that.  It would be a load off my shoulders.

If they persisted, I would say,  "When should I be ready"?

I believe I'm confused.  They're offering to take the burden of driving out of your hands.  How can that be an 'invasion of your privacy?   I, too, am a private person, btw.

I feel you may be making this a greater deal than necessary (which is why I agree with Berbie). 

Allow them to do good, and assist in this matter.  If they insist on knowing the details, politely tell them that you don't care to share but appreciate their assistance to and from the hospital.

[Docdb04]

I believe I'm confused.  They're offering to take the burden of driving out of your hands.  How can that be an 'invasion of your privacy?   I, too, am a private person, btw.

I feel you may be making this a greater deal than necessary (which is why I agree with Berbie). 

Allow them to do good, and assist in this matter.  If they insist on knowing the details, politely tell them that you don't care to share but appreciate their assistance to and from the hospital.

I was a little confused as well.  I think we are all private to an extent.  But as Sjon stated, they are willing to drive you to the hospital (possibly wait), drive you back home and you are not cool with that.  As long as when they bring you home, they are not trying to do a walkthrough of your house without permission. 

I also agree with Berbie.   

[csedwards2]

he might not want them to know why he is going to the hospital; which may be plainly obvious in the morn, or if its not obvious, it would just make for an uncomfortable ride full of questions. Just thinking about different angles

[sjonathan02]

he might not want them to know why he is going to the hospital; which may be plainly obvious in the morn, or if its not obvious, it would just make for an uncomfortable ride full of questions. Just thinking about different angles

Unless it's obvious, I'm wondering why they would ask, or why not simply state that he rather not discuss the reasons for his medical procedure?

[betnich]

Well, I'm home from 3 days in the hospital now. Feel better {sigh}

The people I mentioned met me there in the morning, and waited and prayed with me, which I appreciated. I am grateful to God for them, and their prayers. They had promised to take me home but were out of town the day I was discharged, so I called another couple from the church, who were nice enough to drive my car home.

Bet, I guess that I would look at it differently.  I would see them as trying to help and trying to do good. I would feel good about them for that.  I am a private person too, and if I were not very sick, would rather drive myself just as you say.  But I just couldn't be upset about their offering to drive me.  They might even like the idea of the company.

If they persisted, I would say,  "When should I be ready"?

It's the way they did it, the persisting and pressuring that got to me - trying to force me instead of letting me say 'no'. They did not phrase it like 'can we drive you there?' but 'We are going to pick you up, whether you want it or not'...