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Main => Gospel Music Lounge => Topic started by: NJTheBishopAnderson on November 20, 2007, 11:57:13 AM
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Your pastor has been accused by a female member of the church as to being the father of her unborn child. He is suspended of his duties and reprimanded by church officals in which an investigation is ensued. Members leave; his name is tarnished and the church is in disarray.
Several months later (right before the birth of the child), he challenges her accusations (during the investigation) and is found NOT to be the father. What would be your stance in the situation?? Mind you, he NEVER vehemently denies the accusation in the beginning, so the fact that he may have been with her remains.... what would be your resolve as parishioners?
NOTE:
This is NOT an attack on spiritual leadership as some would suppose. Just want to understand what "saints" would do when faced with this situation. ::)
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The sin ain't in the pregnancy, the sin is in the sex. So, my reaction would be no different whether the baby was his or not. They still had sex, presumably.
And for the record, in terms of reaction, I tend to fall back on Galatians 6:1 (Brethren, if a man be overtaken...) and Jesus's "justice" for the about-to-be stoned adulterer.
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The sin ain't in the pregnancy, the sin is in the sex. So, my reaction would be no different whether the baby was his or not. They still had sex, presumably.
And for the record, in terms of reaction, I tend to fall back on Galatians 6:1 (Brethren, if a man be overtaken...) and Jesus's "justice" for the about-to-be stoned adulterer.
...meaning that you would allow him to be restored to his position? AND
...does the fact that hes NOT the father lessens the gravity of the situation?
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MERCEY
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Well there are still questions that need to be addressed such as:
1. Was the pastor in question ever sexually involved with the woman?
2. Is he already married?
In the case of question 2, there is a whole new level of issues that come to light. But in either case, it is wrong for a minister of the Gospel to commit sexual immorality. It's wrong for anyone, really, but when you assume the responsibility of a pastor or being officially recognized as part of the church ministry it is critical that your life equals what you preach. Now if I were part of the church board or whatever body administers pastoral discipline, my decision would be based on the above questions. But since he never really denies or puts up much of a fight against these charges, I would be inclined to think that there was some physical involvement between the two. If this were found to be true, then I would not reinstate him as pastor until further notice or as directed by the Holy Spirit.
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I agree with LaRue...it isn't the pregnancy, it was the act of the deed happening!
I know in my case...my church divided and split after the many happenings of my pastor with women in and around the community. One claimed she was pregnant, but she was lying. The whole community was in an uproar, his name was tarnished, the church was in shambles, people stopped going to church all together....28 years this man lead our church. It was crazy, but it took alot of prayer from everybody and that has lead us to finding a wonderful new pastor. The people make the church, not him...so letting him go is what we had to do and he felt it was best, also.
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...meaning that you would allow him to be restored to his position? AND
...does the fact that hes NOT the father lessens the gravity of the situation?
Meaning that if a pastor couldn't be restored (into his position in the family) because of sin, then we'd have no pastors at all. So yes, if he had repented to the Lord and the body, and assuming he took a little sabbatical to allow some healing and get some counseling, yes, I would certainly "vote" to restore him.
The fact that he is not the father has absolutely no bearing since, as I said, the sin was in the sex, not the pregnancy. it wouldn't make a difference to me as a member whether he's the father. Now, if I was the FL we might have a different problem.. lol.
By the way, there's a similar story in LA. Very ugly situation, too.
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I wouldn't condemn him to hell or anything. He is a human being and sometimes the flesh will puff up and be unruly. If we don't catch it in time, these things can happen. I would pray even more for him and his family (if he has one).
I think him not being the father of the baby just makes the situation easier to deal with when looking at the future of his ministry and the church. I mean it would be pretty hard to have a pastor with a wife in the pulpit and a baby's mama in the congregation.
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1. Why would he "only" challenge the accusation of NOT being the father...what was going on, the pregnancy would even be a question??
2. Why not challenge the accusation of any appearance of wrong doing from the beginning?
If the pastor came clean and asked for forgiveness from God for whatever happened if anything, then IMHO,...If God can forgive, who am I or we to say otherwise as long as whatever happened doesn't continue to manifest itself and happen over and over again. It would also depend on how much this would affect the ministry where he is pastor. It would serve no purpose for him to continue to stay as pastor if no one will listen to the Word he is trying to bring forth. If God has called him to minister, he may need to pray, move on somewhere else and start over...
Difficult question...there is a lot to consider.
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It would serve no purpose for him to continue to stay as pastor if no one will listen to the Word he is trying to bring forth. If God has called him to minister, he may need to pray, move on somewhere else and start over...
I agree. Good point.
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Meaning that if a pastor couldn't be restored (into his position in the family) because of sin, then we'd have no pastors at all. So yes, if he had repented to the Lord and the body, and assuming he took a little sabbatical to allow some healing and get some counseling, yes, I would certainly "vote" to restore him.
The fact that he is not the father has absolutely no bearing since, as I said, the sin was in the sex, not the pregnancy. it wouldn't make a difference to me as a member whether he's the father. Now, if I was the FL we might have a different problem.. lol.
By the way, there's a similar story in LA. Very ugly situation, too.
There are too many similar stories all across this country, sadly. :-\
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There are too many similar stories all across this country, sadly. :-\
That's just way too true. So sad and so true.
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On another note, I think that for many of us, if we thought about all the illegitimate babies we WOULD have if not for grace (or medical intervention)... or forget the babies, even if we just thought about all the ungodly sex we've had... some of us even while we were yet in Christ... we'd be so much quicker to truly forgive.
Oh I know I won't get an amen... that's okay, amen lights! LOL :D :D :D :D
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That's just way too true. So sad and so true.
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On another note, I think that for many of us, if we thought about all the illegitimate babies we WOULD have if not for grace (or medical intervention)... or forget the babies, even if we just thought about all the ungodly sex we've had... some of us even while we were yet in Christ... we'd be so much quicker to truly forgive.
Oh I know I won't get an amen... that's okay, amen lights! LOL :D :D :D :D
You get half an amen. There are too many contributing factors for a full amen. :D :D
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*stands with arms folded*
Ok, so NOBODY'S gonna say anthing about it? ::)
8)
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LOL @ the half amen... that's more than I hoped for and better than no amen at all.
LT darlin... say something about what? I'll say it iff'n you tell me what I'm sposeda say... LOL
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*stands with arms folded*
Ok, so NOBODY'S gonna say anthing about it? ::)
8)
1. Why would he "only" challenge the accusation of NOT being the father...what was going on, the pregnancy would even be a question??
2. Why not challenge the accusation of any appearance of wrong doing from the beginning?
If the pastor came clean and asked for forgiveness from God for whatever happened if anything, then IMHO,...If God can forgive, who am I or we to say otherwise as long as whatever happened doesn't continue to manifest itself and happen over and over again. It would also depend on how much this would affect the ministry where he is pastor. It would serve no purpose for him to continue to stay as pastor if no one will listen to the Word he is trying to bring forth. If God has called him to minister, he may need to pray, move on somewhere else and start over...
Difficult question...there is a lot to consider.
game over. :)
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LOL @ the half amen... that's more than I hoped for and better than no amen at all.
LT darlin... say something about what? I'll say it iff'n you tell me what I'm sposeda say... LOL
OL, didn't even notice it. True, it's not related to the subject at hand, but COME ON!...
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OL, didn't even notice it. True, it's not related to the subject at hand, but COME ON!...
It ain't that deep. ;) 8)
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There are too many similar stories all across this country, sadly. :-\
One in particular stands out ot me.....
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One in particular stands out ot me.....
Although I'm sure I'm thinking of the same one (since that's the hot gossip item du jour ::)), consider yourself fortunate that only one stands out for you. I could site at least 6 off the top of my head... more, I'm sure, if I give it thought...
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Hold it now- all this flack over the youth pastor?!?! Parishoners leave the church because a youth pastor got caught with his drawers around his ankles? What the....?
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Hold it now- all this flack over the youth pastor?!?! Parishoners leave the church because a youth pastor got caught with his drawers around his ankles? What the....?
**goes back to re-read the thread**
Okay, I'm back. Dude, where'd you get the idea that it was a youth pastor?
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**goes back to re-read the thread**
Okay, I'm back. Dude, where'd you get the idea that it was a youth pastor?
Oh, my bad. My cursor was resting over the "r" in your. In skimming it, it looked like "youth".
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Oh, my bad. My cursor was resting over the "r" in your. In skimming it, it looked like "youth".
No problem; you already lost your cool points in that other thread anyway, so no loss... :-\
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Well there are still questions that need to be addressed such as:
1. Was the pastor in question ever sexually involved with the woman?
2. Is he already married?
In the case of question 2, there is a whole new level of issues that come to light. But in either case, it is wrong for a minister of the Gospel to commit sexual immorality. It's wrong for anyone, really, but when you assume the responsibility of a pastor or being officially recognized as part of the church ministry it is critical that your life equals what you preach. Now if I were part of the church board or whatever body administers pastoral discipline, my decision would be based on the above questions. But since he never really denies or puts up much of a fight against these charges, I would be inclined to think that there was some physical involvement between the two. If this were found to be true, then I would not reinstate him as pastor until further notice or as directed by the Holy Spirit.
AMEN! Well said!
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No problem; you already lost your cool points in that other thread anyway, so no loss... :-\
Man, I'm not hi-jacking another thread with you.