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Main => Gospel Music Lounge => Topic started by: chevonee on February 07, 2008, 06:54:45 AM

Title: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: chevonee on February 07, 2008, 06:54:45 AM
Let me say first of all that this situation doesn't apply to me...THANK GOD!! I know that we may have had this discussion a while back but I'm not able to find it...so here's the question. If you found out that your girlfriend/boyfriend, husband/wife was looking at illicit pictures what would you do? If married would this be grounds for divorce...especially if this has happend before?

*I hope this doesn't offend anyone or get locked but there is someone that I need to help and I really don't know how to go about it*
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: georgiagurl on February 07, 2008, 07:00:27 AM
Let me say first of all that this situation doesn't apply to me...THANK GOD!! I know that we may have had this discussion a while back but I'm not able to find it...so here's the question. If you found out that your girlfriend/boyfriend, husband/wife was looking at illicit pictures what would you do? If married would this be grounds for divorce...especially if this has happend before?

*I hope this doesn't offend anyone or get locked but there is someone that I need to help and I really don't know how to go about it*
Do I know dis person? Cuz I think that you have to go to the word wit dis. The Word says that if you look at someone wit da wrong intent, you done already commit adultery. Do dat means divorce, I don't even know. I would be mad ifin it wuz me specially if I no I do my job as da wife, but divorce over dat iz somethin I can't say.
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: B3Wannabe on February 07, 2008, 07:06:18 AM
Pray for the spouse, but they need to talk about why the person is looking at pictures. Something may be missing. Many times, the spouse may want to be free with their loved one, but the other person has some reserves about things. If this isn't checked, after time, it can develop into desires for another person. There are scriptures that touch in these areas, and I'm sure someone will post them. For me, personally, as long as my wife doesn't want to bring another person into the room, I'm good with anything she can imagine.
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: gtrdave on February 07, 2008, 07:14:12 AM
I would see if they wanted help with the problem that they have.
If they do then proceed forward in that direction. A good Christian counselor can help greatly.
If they don't then I don't have any good advice other than prayer (which should be #1 regardless).

Understand this, though; sexual sin is one of the most difficult things to overcome (voice of experience, here) and it requires the sinner (let's all raise our hands, now) to constantly run to the Word of God for safety and for restoration. Just speaking that name above all names can be enough to deliver us from evil.

Realize that the world is very quick to want to stone the sexual sinner while Jesus was very quick to answer "go and sin no more".  ;)
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: funkStrat_97 on February 07, 2008, 07:14:19 AM
While the viewing of pornography is not good for your soul or your marriage, it is probably not grounds for divorce - at least not initally.  But it will need to be addressed and dealt with because it is highly detrimental to a marital relationship.  Sexual purity is not only for singles who must abastain from sexual relationships, but also to married people who have been blessed to have a husband or wife and experience the physical aspect of true love.  Here are some of the consequences of pornography:

*You open a door by which Satan can enter in and potentialy destroy your marriage.

*There is the possiblity of becoming dissatisfied with your spouse.

*It is a progressive sin that stars with the viewing of images and may lead you to seek experieces outside of you bed.

*It's damaging to your relationship with God.

*It robs you of experinceing true pleasure with your mate.

And there are many more, some of which can be quite severe.  In some cases, yes, it has lead to divorce.  The word of God is true: "the wages of sin is death..." and in this case, pornography has the very real potential of bringing death to your marriage. 

But prayer and perhaps even counseling would be the beginnings of the healing process.

Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: chevonee on February 07, 2008, 07:15:57 AM
Pray for the spouse, but they need to talk about why the person is looking at pictures. Something may be missing. Many times, the spouse may want to be free with their loved one, but the other person has some reserves about things. If this isn't checked, after time, it can develop into desires for another person. There are scriptures that touch in these areas, and I'm sure someone will post them. For me, personally, as long as my wife doesn't want to bring another person into the room, I'm good with anything she can imagine.
That is the main concern. The guy wants to know should he stay in this relationship because this makes the second time that an incident such as this has happend...but they have 3 kids who are caught in the middle of this. I just wish I knew what to say to help. :'(


Do I know dis person? Cuz I think that you have to go to the word wit dis. The Word says that if you look at someone wit da wrong intent, you done already commit adultery. Do dat means divorce, I don't even know. I would be mad ifin it wuz me specially if I no I do my job as da wife, but divorce over dat iz somethin I can't say.
Yeah Vet you know him...really well.. :o :o I wish I could help....he's such a sweet guy, who works hard to support his family...but this is what happend again. What do I say to help?
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: georgiagurl on February 07, 2008, 07:25:13 AM
I would see if they wanted help with the problem that they have.
If they do then proceed forward in that direction. A good Christian counselor can help greatly.
If they don't then I don't have any good advice other than prayer (which should be #1 regardless).

Understand this, though; sexual sin is one of the most difficult things to overcome (voice of experience, here) and it requires the sinner (let's all raise our hands, now) to constantly run to the Word of God for safety and for restoration. Just speaking that name above all names can be enough to deliver us from evil.

Realize that the world is very quick to want to stone the sexual sinner while Jesus was very quick to answer "go and sin no more".  ;)
I like dis right here. Be blessed
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: B3Wannabe on February 07, 2008, 07:30:08 AM
That is the main concern. The guy wants to know should he stay in this relationship because this makes the second time that an incident such as this has happend...but they have 3 kids who are caught in the middle of this. I just wish I knew what to say to help. :'(

Yeah Vet you know him...really well.. :o :o I wish I could help....he's such a sweet guy, who works hard to support his family...but this is what happend again. What do I say to help?


And see, you had everyone thinking it was the lady, since you didn't say it explicitly in the beginning!

I think men can handle this type of thing a little better than women, but that's me.

Maybe he's too sweet. Maybe he treats her so well, that she can't take it. I know it sounds crazy, but I believe that if a woman had a husband that was always nice then she'd freak out, turn inside out, or something. I'm not saying that this is the case here though.
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: chevonee on February 07, 2008, 07:50:48 AM
I would see if they wanted help with the problem that they have.
If they do then proceed forward in that direction. A good Christian counselor can help greatly.
If they don't then I don't have any good advice other than prayer (which should be #1 regardless).

Understand this, though; sexual sin is one of the most difficult things to overcome (voice of experience, here) and it requires the sinner (let's all raise our hands, now) to constantly run to the Word of God for safety and for restoration. Just speaking that name above all names can be enough to deliver us from evil.

Realize that the world is very quick to want to stone the sexual sinner while Jesus was very quick to answer "go and sin no more".  ;)
God bless you gtrdave!!  This is good all by itself....thank you so much.


While the viewing of pornography is not good for your soul or your marriage, it is probably not grounds for divorce - at least not initally.  But it will need to be addressed and dealt with because it is highly detrimental to a marital relationship.  Sexual purity is not only for singles who must abastain from sexual relationships, but also to married people who have been blessed to have a husband or wife and experience the physical aspect of true love.  Here are some of the consequences of pornography:

*You open a door by which Satan can enter in and potentialy destroy your marriage.

*There is the possiblity of becoming dissatisfied with your spouse.

*It is a progressive sin that stars with the viewing of images and may lead you to seek experieces outside of you bed.

*It's damaging to your relationship with God.

*It robs you of experinceing true pleasure with your mate.

And there are many more, some of which can be quite severe.  In some cases, yes, it has lead to divorce.  The word of God is true: "the wages of sin is death..." and in this case, pornography has the very real potential of bringing death to your marriage. 

But prayer and perhaps even counseling would be the beginnings of the healing process.


God bless you funkStrat!!  This is some good stuff too! ;)
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: LEYLAH on February 07, 2008, 08:06:10 AM
Let me say first of all that this situation doesn't apply to me...THANK GOD!! I know that we may have had this discussion a while back but I'm not able to find it...so here's the question. If you found out that your girlfriend/boyfriend, husband/wife was looking at illicit pictures what would you do? If married would this be grounds for divorce...especially if this has happend before?

*I hope this doesn't offend anyone or get locked but there is someone that I need to help and I really don't know how to go about it*

Well, this is a controversial question. I had a friend who did thoses things and his wife did divorce him. I think of it as this as long as the person isnt doing anything with other ppl then he/she or fine! They do need to seek help because it can lead to some problems.
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: georgiagurl on February 07, 2008, 08:38:54 AM
That is the main concern. The guy wants to know should he stay in this relationship because this makes the second time that an incident such as this has happend...but they have 3 kids who are caught in the middle of this. I just wish I knew what to say to help. :'(

Yeah Vet you know him...really well.. :o :o I wish I could help....he's such a sweet guy, who works hard to support his family...but this is what happend again. What do I say to help?
Looka here cuz now you need to be careful that u don't git too upset bout dis. U can't do it all. I no u care and everything like dat but be careful dat u don't try too hard. Pray bout it n let God do it fah em.
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: joshuag on February 07, 2008, 08:40:44 AM
ok, i have to go here... great question it all depends. if my wife is looking at a fine woman and i see her, i may ask to see the pic too. ha-ha!! (just joking)

RULE number 3987740niud-9901 NO OTHER DUDES PHOTOS IN MY HOUSE!!! (unless it is family)
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: jjblack on February 07, 2008, 08:47:09 AM
A situation like this should always be approached with prayer. You must remember that this is just as much a spiritual battle as a natural one.

This is a much larger problem them most realize.


"In a poll of 1,000 respondents, 50 percent of Christian men and 20 percent of Christian women were found to be addicted to pornography."

http://www.christianpost.com/article/20070605/27799_Porn_Addiction_Flooding_Culture,_Church.htm (http://www.christianpost.com/article/20070605/27799_Porn_Addiction_Flooding_Culture,_Church.htm)


With the way that technology and the internet is growing, we need to be praying.
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: chevonee on February 07, 2008, 08:49:53 AM
Looka here cuz now you need to be careful that u don't git too upset bout dis. U can't do it all. I no u care and everything like dat but be careful dat u don't try too hard. Pray bout it n let God do it fah em.

Yes mam! ;)

A situation like this should always be approached with prayer. You must remember that this is just as much a spiritual battle as a natural one.

This is a much larger problem them most realize.


"In a poll of 1,000 respondents, 50 percent of Christian men and 20 percent of Christian women were found to be addicted to pornography."

[url]http://www.christianpost.com/article/20070605/27799_Porn_Addiction_Flooding_Culture,_Church.htm[/url] ([url]http://www.christianpost.com/article/20070605/27799_Porn_Addiction_Flooding_Culture,_Church.htm[/url])


With the way that technology and the internet is growing, we need to be praying.


It is a big time problem!!! The BOC has to quit sweeping things like this under the rug, its time to expose the devil for what and who he really is. ;)
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: sjonathan02 on February 07, 2008, 08:50:53 AM
Why is this "controversial"?
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: nessalynn77 on February 07, 2008, 08:51:18 AM
ok, i have to go here... great question it all depends. if my wife is looking at a fine woman and i see her, i may ask to see the pic too. ha-ha!! (just joking)

[/size]
Thank you, you're dismissed.  LOL!
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: chevonee on February 07, 2008, 08:54:55 AM
Why is this "controversial"?
Because not many people want to talk about it...GRAMMAR WIZ!! BTW, when my grand babies comin...just kidding ;D :D ;D :D
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: Big T. on February 07, 2008, 08:57:45 AM
Yes mam! ;)
It is a big time problem!!! The BOC has to quit sweeping things like this under the rug, its time to expose the devil for what and who he really is. ;)
Amen to that. But one of the biggest reasons people don't approach this problem is due to embarassment. It is a very sensitive subject and no one wants to be the one who exposes their own use of these materials, even if it could help someone else be delivered.  :-X :-[ :-X
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: georgiagurl on February 07, 2008, 09:02:28 AM
Amen to that. But one of the biggest reasons people don't approach this problem is due to embarassment. It is a very sensitive subject and no one wants to be the one who exposes their own use of these materials, even if it could help someone else be delivered.  :-X :-[ :-X
I agree
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: chevonee on February 07, 2008, 09:13:28 AM
Amen to that. But one of the biggest reasons people don't approach this problem is due to embarassment. It is a very sensitive subject and no one wants to be the one who exposes their own use of these materials, even if it could help someone else be delivered.  :-X :-[ :-X
I agree
Co-sign!!
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: joshuag on February 07, 2008, 09:20:31 AM
Thank you, you're dismissed.  LOL!

hahaha hey nessalynn!!! someone had to go there.... hahahahahahahhaha
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: LEYLAH on February 07, 2008, 09:21:15 AM
Embarass of what? because he/she likes to look at those types of pics...
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: pastors4jesus3 on February 07, 2008, 09:32:54 AM
As a person who's been delivered from this type of thing I can say that one must be willing to catch it before it blows up in your face. I was preaching, shouting and teaching but behind closed doors, I was addicted to porn. It took me 10 years to build it, but only a matter of seconds to ruin it.

God is faithful and just to forgive us and cleans us of all unrighteousness but we must be willing to admit it and not make excuses for such an act. I don't care what is happening in our lives we have absolutely no right to indulge in such fleshly foolishness. Now that I have owned up to the problem, I have been free for more than 4 years it is still a struggle. I had to decide to avoid the very appearance of evil. It starts small and then it develops into something that you wouldn't imagine. The devil can sugar coat it and make it look enticing but after you get caught, he laughs at you and tell you how foolish you were for falling into the trap that he set.

It's not worth it


Pastor Robison
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: Big T. on February 07, 2008, 09:44:47 AM
As a person who's been delivered from this type of thing I can say that one must be willing to catch it before it blows up in your face. I was preaching, shouting and teaching but behind closed doors, I was addicted to porn. It took me 10 years to build it, but only a matter of seconds to ruin it.

God is faithful and just to forgive us and cleans us of all unrighteousness but we must be willing to admit it and not make excuses for such an act. I don't care what is happening in our lives we have absolutely no right to indulge in such fleshly foolishness. Now that I have owned up to the problem, I have been free for more than 4 years it is still a struggle. I had to decide to avoid the very appearance of evil. It starts small and then it develops into something that you wouldn't imagine. The devil can sugar coat it and make it look enticing but after you get caught, he laughs at you and tell you how foolish you were for falling into the trap that he set.

It's not worth it


Pastor Robison
There are alot us us men who have enjoyed veiwing these materials at some point in our lives(hey let's be honest). In fact our society tells us that men should have a collection of porn or something is wrong with them. The bottom line is, the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord,greater is He that's within me, than he that's in the world. ;D
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: under13 on February 07, 2008, 09:47:21 AM
I'm not married yet, but I think it depends on how "open" and secure the couple is with thier sex life (among other things).
Me personaly I'd be a little jealous if my girl was lookin at nudie mags or porn. But I wouldnt leave her over that. Especialy if thats our only problem and we have kids.

I probaly wouldnt make a big deal out of it. Just because someone looks at nude pics doesnt mean they are unfaithful.
I'd be more concerned about my wife telling our business to her freinds. ESPECIALLY A FRIEND OF THE OPPOSITE SEX

I suggest therapy. It might help if they see a Relationship/Sex therapist. 

Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: chevonee on February 07, 2008, 09:50:02 AM
As a person who's been delivered from this type of thing I can say that one must be willing to catch it before it blows up in your face. I was preaching, shouting and teaching but behind closed doors, I was addicted to porn. It took me 10 years to build it, but only a matter of seconds to ruin it.

God is faithful and just to forgive us and cleans us of all unrighteousness but we must be willing to admit it and not make excuses for such an act. I don't care what is happening in our lives we have absolutely no right to indulge in such fleshly foolishness. Now that I have owned up to the problem, I have been free for more than 4 years it is still a struggle. I had to decide to avoid the very appearance of evil. It starts small and then it develops into something that you wouldn't imagine. The devil can sugar coat it and make it look enticing but after you get caught, he laughs at you and tell you how foolish you were for falling into the trap that he set.

It's not worth it


Pastor Robison
God bless you Pastor Robison!! This is how we overcome obstacles by the blood of the lamb and by the Word of our testimony (Rev 12:11)
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: Big T. on February 07, 2008, 09:52:43 AM
I'm not married yet, but I think it depends on how "open" and secure the couple is with thier sex life (among other things).
Me personaly I'd be a little jealous if my girl was lookin at nudie mags or porn. But I wouldnt leave her over that. Especialy if thats our only problem and we have kids.

I probaly wouldnt make a big deal out of it. Just because someone looks at nude pics doesnt mean they are unfaithful.
I'd be more concerned about my wife telling our business to her freinds. ESPECIALLY A FRIEND OF THE OPPOSITE SEX

I suggest therapy. It might help if they see a Relationship/Sex therapist. 


That's one of the problems with pornography, it can "open" the door for alot of other problems. :'( :-*
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: SisterT on February 07, 2008, 09:57:42 AM
Matthew 5:28
But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.


I can't see a person looking at nudie magazines without lusting. Therefore, the heart has already sinned.

But you asked if this is grounds for divorce. Considered this--Jesus said that adultery was the only reason one could get a divorce. In other words, God allows one out of there marriage because of adultery. The consequences of divorce (broken home, kids affected, vows broken, union severed)  will still be felt, regardless of the fact that one got out because of Adultery. So that makes me believe that even in Adultery I should do my best to work it out.

God forgives the person of the sin if they have a repented heart. THEREFORE, if God is willing to forgive, and restore the adulterer's relationship, then why can't we forgive and restore the marriage relationship. Our standards shouldn't be higher than God's.
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: under13 on February 07, 2008, 10:03:01 AM
That's one of the problems with pornography, it can "open" the door for alot of other problems. :'( :-*


the key word is COULD. Smoking Weed COULD lead to smoking Crack, but it doesnt always. You get my point? :) EVERBODY IS DIFFERENT

Yeah so since her partner is uncomfortable with her looking at porn she should try to stop.
If I was married and doing something that hurt my marriage, I would try my hardest to stop.

I think Most secure woman would have no problem with thier husband suscribing to Mens Magazines. Besides men dont need for a women to be naked for them to lust after them.
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: sjonathan02 on February 07, 2008, 10:03:39 AM
Matthew 5:28
But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.


I can't see a person looking at nudie magazines without lusting. Therefore, the heart has already sinned.

But you asked if this is grounds for divorce. Considered this--Jesus said that adultery was the only reason one could get a divorce. In other words, God allows one out of there marriage because of adultery. The consequences of divorce (broken home, kids affected, vows broken, union severed)  will still be felt, regardless of the fact that one got out because of Adultery. So that makes me believe that even in Adultery I should do my best to work it out.

God forgives the person of the sin if they have a repented heart. THEREFORE, if God is willing to forgive, and restore the adulterer's relationship, then why can't we forgive and restore the marriage relationship. Our standards shouldn't be higher than God's.

But, our pride is. :-\
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: pastors4jesus3 on February 07, 2008, 10:05:09 AM
Matthew 5:28
But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.


I can't see a person looking at nudie magazines without lusting. Therefore, the heart has already sinned.

But you asked if this is grounds for divorce. Considered this--Jesus said that adultery was the only reason one could get a divorce. In other words, God allows one out of there marriage because of adultery. The consequences of divorce (broken home, kids affected, vows broken, union severed)  will still be felt, regardless of the fact that one got out because of Adultery. So that makes me believe that even in Adultery I should do my best to work it out.

God forgives the person of the sin if they have a repented heart. THEREFORE, if God is willing to forgive, and restore the adulterer's relationship, then why can't we forgive and restore the marriage relationship. Our standards shouldn't be higher than God's.
You are correct Sister T. God will forgive us, the problem comes when one continues to promise to change but fails to keep that promise. A person has to make a decision to permanently change and make no excuses for anything there after.
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: Big T. on February 07, 2008, 10:08:04 AM

the key word is COULD. Smoking Weed COULD lead to smoking Crack, but it doesnt always. You get my point? :) EVERBODY IS DIFFERENT

Yeah so since her partner is uncomfortable with her looking at porn she should try to stop.
If I was married and doing something that hurt my marriage, I would try my hardest to stop.

I think Most secure woman would have no problem with thier husband suscribing to Mens Magazines. Besides men dont need for a women to be naked for them to lust after them.
O.k. one thing COULD lead to another, but, porn and the use of porn WILL lead to hell. :o :o :o
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: under13 on February 07, 2008, 10:10:54 AM
O.k. one thing COULD lead to another, but, porn and the use of porn WILL lead to hell. :o :o :o
So is sexual sin any worse than any of the other sins we commit???

Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: pastors4jesus3 on February 07, 2008, 10:11:18 AM
O.k. one thing COULD lead to another, but, porn and the use of porn WILL lead to hell. :o :o :o
Without a doubt my brother.

Pastor Robison
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: Big T. on February 07, 2008, 10:16:12 AM
So is sexual sin any worse than any of the other sins we commit???


And I quote, "But the fearful, unbeliving,abominable,murderers, whoremongers, sorcerers, idoliters, and all liars shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone, which is the second death."Revelation 21:8. ;)
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: under13 on February 07, 2008, 10:19:23 AM
And I quote, "But the fearful, unbeliving,abominable,murderers, whoremongers, sorcerers, idoliters, and all liars shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone, which is the second death."Revelation 21:8. ;)

But Thank God for the Blood of Jesus and Forgiveness. We are all sinners. If its not one thing then its another. But we like to focus on things that are no more detrimental than the other things we do.
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: SisterT on February 07, 2008, 10:25:25 AM
You are correct Sister T. God will forgive us, the problem comes when one continues to promise to change but fails to keep that promise. A person has to make a decision to permanently change and make no excuses for anything there after.


I realize that some folks are repeat offenders--but even God forgives the repeat offenders. A person who truly repents with turn from their old ways. If they mess up, they turn around again, and keep making efforts to live a righteous life.

The problem comes in when our expectations are too high of the person, specifically marriage partner, is trying to change. When he/she messes up again, we are ready to bail out. Sometimes it's not totally his fault that he fails, sometimes we share in our spouse's failure. Why---because we never trusted them to do right from, we never trusted them to succeed, we never truly forgave them for their actions.

I really can't expect my husband to do the right thing, if I don't fully forgive him after he messes up. For instance, if he were to have an affair, I must forgive him, wipe the slate clean and move forward in our relationship. There must be restoration---placing the relationship back to where it was, actually even better.

When I say that I don't trust my husband because he did it before and I'm being cautious, then I am actually speaking a negative thing over my marriage. We are one flesh when we become married. Therefore, If I don't forgive him the way God intends for me to forgive, then I am an accomplist to his failure if he was to mess up again. The Bible says as a man think in his heart so he he----if I think my man is going to mess up again, then it probably will happen. I am guilty of thinking my husband would fail---so why should I be surprised when he does,

I counsel many marriages, and I see one in the relationship say "I knew he was going to do that again, he always does it." Well, that tells me that you didn't wipe the slate clean, and you expected the worse for yourself. Why be surprised that you got what you expected.

 
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: Fenix on February 07, 2008, 10:26:07 AM
This is just bloody awful!!!

Another Christian guy who is addicted to porn  :'( :'( :'(. I advocate very strongly that divorce should be the last resort to be taken. let them come together and ADMIT there is a problem and then  seek counseling from a professional.

Speaking from experience, there is nothing that KILLS self esteem and self worth and a fulfilling relationship with God and with people in the BOC that being addicted to porn. What makes it especially bad for us Christians is that we have the Holy Ghost who convicts us and we are absolutely torn by this. In fact, hell has started because this sin causes a separation from God which is just as bad as being in hell.  I hated my self for the longest time and am still amazed at how good God has been to me even when he KNEW i would still do this in the future, he blessed me nonetheless. We serve a truly AMAZING God.

I guess it is a moot point to state that he understands he is addicted. Admitting is the first part, wanting to stop is the second part. This is where his spouse can come in. I understand that it is painful for the spouse to know that that is what her husband is doing when she is not around. It erodes trust, but she must not be too quick to kick him in the teeth about it. She MUST be there to help him. If he cannot feel God's love, she MUST become that love if he cannot feel it directly from God.

The devil is so totally wicked and he hates us. This is going to be a hook that he will yank on from time to time to try and trip him up. Its not going to be easy to understand that God has allowed this for some reason. If our very hairs are counted, then he has to be shown that, although this is evil, if he allows God to conquer through him, he will come out all the better.

Thank God for victories, great and small.

Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: Big T. on February 07, 2008, 10:29:36 AM
But Thank God for the Blood of Jesus and Forgiveness. We are all sinners. If its not one thing then its another. But we like to focus on things that are no more detrimental than the other things we do.
That is true.  There is no such thing as big sins or little sins.
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: under13 on February 07, 2008, 10:35:24 AM

I realize that some folks are repeat offenders--but even God forgives the repeat offenders. A person who truly repents with turn from their old ways. If they mess up, they turn around again, and keep making efforts to live a righteous life.

The problem comes in when our expectations are too high of the person, specifically marriage partner, is trying to change. When he/she messes up again, we are ready to bail out. Sometimes it's not totally his fault that he fails, sometimes we share in our spouse's failure. Why---because we never trusted them to do right from, we never trusted them to succeed, we never truly forgave them for their actions.

I really can't expect my husband to do the right thing, if I don't fully forgive him after he messes up. For instance, if he were to have an affair, I must forgive him, wipe the slate clean and move forward in our relationship. There must be restoration---placing the relationship back to where it was, actually even better.

When I say that I don't trust my husband because he did it before and I'm being cautious, then I am actually speaking a negative thing over my marriage. We are one flesh when we become married. Therefore, If I don't forgive him the way God intends for me to forgive, then I am an accomplist to his failure if he was to mess up again. The Bible says as a man think in his heart so he he----if I think my man is going to mess up again, then it probably will happen. I am guilty of thinking my husband would fail---so why should I be surprised when he does,

I counsel many marriages, and I see one in the relationship say "I knew he was going to do that again, he always does it." Well, that tells me that you didn't wipe the slate clean, and you expected the worse for yourself. Why be surprised that you got what you expected.

 



I Think its offering time in the temple!!

And I think its time to consider bringing back the relationships Room. Cuz its Evident that we have a lot of questions about relationships and God
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: LEYLAH on February 07, 2008, 10:36:01 AM
PORN sucks and its mad boring.. What is the point in watching PORN?   >:(
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: under13 on February 07, 2008, 10:38:52 AM
PORN sucks and its mad boring.. What is the point in watching PORN?   >:(
You might wanna put a "no pun intended" somewhere in there

Is it true that you have multiple screen names??
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: SisterT on February 07, 2008, 10:40:42 AM
PORN sucks and its mad boring.. What is the point in watching PORN?   >:(

What's the point in smoking weed?
What's the point in lying?
What's the point in robbing God of tithes and offering?
What's the point....I could go on and on.

It's satan's way of getting our glory. It's his method of keeping us in bondage. It's his way of getting us to exalted him above God.

We all have something we are dealing with that's not pleasing to God...IT ALL SUCKS!
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: Dredakyst on February 07, 2008, 10:43:46 AM
PORN sucks and its mad boring.. What is the point in watching PORN?   >:(

Due to the fact that it's a multi-billion dollar industry that exceeds all major sports (a form of entertainment) income combined...

so I'd beg to differ...LOL!   its not boring for many....in order to support that revenue

People watch porn to escape (most people call it lust), that is why most people harbor addictions for so long.  In their mental state of mind... reality is displaced... if only for a short period of time. (no pun intended) 



Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: LEYLAH on February 07, 2008, 10:44:24 AM
You might wanna put a "no pun intended" somewhere in there

Is it true that you have multiple screen names??

Maybe or maybe not! Only God knows who I am!  ;)
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: nessalynn77 on February 07, 2008, 10:44:57 AM
What's the point in smoking weed?
What's the point in lying?
What's the point in robbing God of tithes and offering?
What's the point....I could go on and on.

It's satan's way of getting our glory. It's his method of keeping us in bondage. It's his way of getting us to exalted him above God.

We all have something we are dealing with that's not pleasing to God...IT ALL SUCKS!
You put the lid on that one, lol.  

I would add, that I don't think people watch porn for the acting or the plot... LOL.
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: nessalynn77 on February 07, 2008, 10:45:52 AM
Whitney:  Crack is whack!  LOL!!
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: LEYLAH on February 07, 2008, 10:47:13 AM
Due to the fact that it's a multi-billion dollar industry that exceeds all major sports (a form of entertainment) income combined...

so I'd beg to differ...LOL!   its not boring for many....in order to support that revenue

People watch porn to escape (most people call it lust), that is why most people harbor addictions for so long.  In their mental state of mind... reality is displaced... if only for a short period of time. (no pun intended) 


Oh, so watching other ppl have intercourse is INTERESTING! I think not
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: pastors4jesus3 on February 07, 2008, 10:47:35 AM

I realize that some folks are repeat offenders--but even God forgives the repeat offenders. A person who truly repents with turn from their old ways. If they mess up, they turn around again, and keep making efforts to live a righteous life.

The problem comes in when our expectations are too high of the person, specifically marriage partner, is trying to change. When he/she messes up again, we are ready to bail out. Sometimes it's not totally his fault that he fails, sometimes we share in our spouse's failure. Why---because we never trusted them to do right from, we never trusted them to succeed, we never truly forgave them for their actions.

I really can't expect my husband to do the right thing, if I don't fully forgive him after he messes up. For instance, if he were to have an affair, I must forgive him, wipe the slate clean and move forward in our relationship. There must be restoration---placing the relationship back to where it was, actually even better.

When I say that I don't trust my husband because he did it before and I'm being cautious, then I am actually speaking a negative thing over my marriage. We are one flesh when we become married. Therefore, If I don't forgive him the way God intends for me to forgive, then I am an accomplist to his failure if he was to mess up again. The Bible says as a man think in his heart so he he----if I think my man is going to mess up again, then it probably will happen. I am guilty of thinking my husband would fail---so why should I be surprised when he does,

I counsel many marriages, and I see one in the relationship say "I knew he was going to do that again, he always does it." Well, that tells me that you didn't wipe the slate clean, and you expected the worse for yourself. Why be surprised that you got what you expected.
These are the words of a very seasoned woman in the Lord.
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: under13 on February 07, 2008, 10:52:02 AM
Oh, so watching other ppl have intercourse is INTERESTING! I think not

to each its own

Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: LEYLAH on February 07, 2008, 10:53:21 AM
to each its own



Hmmmmm
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: w42879 on February 07, 2008, 11:08:39 AM

I realize that some folks are repeat offenders--but even God forgives the repeat offenders. A person who truly repents with turn from their old ways. If they mess up, they turn around again, and keep making efforts to live a righteous life.

The problem comes in when our expectations are too high of the person, specifically marriage partner, is trying to change. When he/she messes up again, we are ready to bail out. Sometimes it's not totally his fault that he fails, sometimes we share in our spouse's failure. Why---because we never trusted them to do right from, we never trusted them to succeed, we never truly forgave them for their actions.

I really can't expect my husband to do the right thing, if I don't fully forgive him after he messes up. For instance, if he were to have an affair, I must forgive him, wipe the slate clean and move forward in our relationship. There must be restoration---placing the relationship back to where it was, actually even better.

When I say that I don't trust my husband because he did it before and I'm being cautious, then I am actually speaking a negative thing over my marriage. We are one flesh when we become married. Therefore, If I don't forgive him the way God intends for me to forgive, then I am an accomplist to his failure if he was to mess up again. The Bible says as a man think in his heart so he he----if I think my man is going to mess up again, then it probably will happen. I am guilty of thinking my husband would fail---so why should I be surprised when he does,

I counsel many marriages, and I see one in the relationship say "I knew he was going to do that again, he always does it." Well, that tells me that you didn't wipe the slate clean, and you expected the worse for yourself. Why be surprised that you got what you expected.
I really admire your wisdom Sister T. We need things of this nature taught in our churches.



I must admit that at one time, I too was addicted to porn. It only took me a matter of seconds to watch porn but years and years and years to finally be delivered from it. Some of you may take it lightly as something that doesn't affect anything but the Bible specifically talks about the wages of sin. The Bible also speaks of something small can create HUGE problems in the long run. The devil must be exposed and called what he is. Sin is sin and there is NO EXCUSE for anything like that. I was freed from my addiction over 11 years ago and now I am much more capable of being the man of God and husband that I now am. I had to call it what it was and make a committment to change once and for all.

God will forgive but he will not allow a person to continue to abuse his grace and mercy. Galations says---Be not deceived, God is not mocked. There are consequences for sin. Most men tend to think that awww its ok, as long as I'm not actually doing anything. The word clearly says that if you look at a woman with the wrong intentions that you have already committed adultery. God is a discerner of the HEART. Outward talk and outward appearance does not impress God because he knows what's hidden inside. Sins such as this begins as a thought and eventually that thought will develop into diverse actions. Sin has to be dealt with at its earliest stages in order to avoid divorces, confusion, stife, resentment, adultery, etc.
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: sjonathan02 on February 07, 2008, 11:19:55 AM
I think not

It is GLARINGLY obvious. :-\
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: chevonee on February 07, 2008, 11:24:59 AM
I really admire your wisdom Sister T. We need things of this nature taught in our churches.



I must admit that at one time, I too was addicted to porn. It only took me a matter of seconds to watch porn but years and years and years to finally be delivered from it. Some of you may take it lightly as something that doesn't affect anything but the Bible specifically talks about the wages of sin. The Bible also speaks of something small can create HUGE problems in the long run. The devil must be exposed and called what he is. Sin is sin and there is NO EXCUSE for anything like that. I was freed from my addiction over 11 years ago and now I am much more capable of being the man of God and husband that I now am. I had to call it what it was and make a committment to change once and for all.

God will forgive but he will not allow a person to continue to abuse his grace and mercy. Galations says---Be not deceived, God is not mocked. There are consequences for sin. Most men tend to think that awww its ok, as long as I'm not actually doing anything. The word clearly says that if you look at a woman with the wrong intentions that you have already committed adultery. God is a discerner of the HEART. Outward talk and outward appearance does not impress God because he knows what's hidden inside. Sins such as this begins as a thought and eventually that thought will develop into diverse actions. Sin has to be dealt with at its earliest stages in order to avoid divorces, confusion, stife, resentment, adultery, etc.
You betta preach WJ!!! :D ;D :D ;D :D ;D :D ;D
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: gtrdave on February 07, 2008, 11:44:31 AM
As a person who's been delivered from this type of thing I can say that one must be willing to catch it before it blows up in your face. I was preaching, shouting and teaching but behind closed doors, I was addicted to porn. It took me 10 years to build it, but only a matter of seconds to ruin it.

God is faithful and just to forgive us and cleans us of all unrighteousness but we must be willing to admit it and not make excuses for such an act. I don't care what is happening in our lives we have absolutely no right to indulge in such fleshly foolishness. Now that I have owned up to the problem, I have been free for more than 4 years it is still a struggle. I had to decide to avoid the very appearance of evil. It starts small and then it develops into something that you wouldn't imagine. The devil can sugar coat it and make it look enticing but after you get caught, he laughs at you and tell you how foolish you were for falling into the trap that he set.

It's not worth it

Pastor Robison

It's probably already been said but one of the reasons that porn has such a toe hold on brothers in the church is because we're afraid to talk about it.
We're afraid of the verbal and even silent condemnation. We're afraid that we'll be judged. We're afraid that no one else will understand what it's like to not have that instant and miraculous healing that others have had with their sin addiction.
That's why I fully support the guys who run XXX Church. Those brothers and sisters speak openly and unashamedly about the crisis that is porn addiction and they do it under the banner of Jesus' love and forgiveness, not forgetting that there is a penalty for sin, but offering the Gospel message as one of hope for the hopeless and freedom for the captive.

The Scripture that I cling to is Romans 8:1 "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus". I've shared that with folks I've been blessed to minister to in prison. Even though we all pay a price for what we've done, we can live totally free if we remain in Christ.
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: S_rey on February 07, 2008, 11:53:38 AM
This is deep stuff here :o
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: Furious Styles on February 07, 2008, 12:14:46 PM
Our society has conditioned many of us to have irregular relationships with the opposite sex. Dave mentioned how we still are reluctant to talk about such things in our fellowships. Sadly men and women are ensnared in these types of double lives because we have failed to be transparent about certain choices and ptifalls that many of us have made. We all have been quick to be critical of someones shortcomings while we forget ours. I as a married man who loves Jesus has to be honest with my past transgressions of sexual sins. I didn't find that help among believers in worship but among people who are willing to be transparent outside of the "worship experience". WE gotta start keeping it real or more people will continue to fall prey to Satan's lies of enjoyment through sexual exploration.... That is what we are really dealing with...
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: Big T. on February 07, 2008, 12:23:19 PM
Our society has conditioned many of us to have irregular relationships with the opposite sex. Dave mentioned how we still are reluctant to talk about such things in our fellowships. Sadly men and women are ensnared in these types of double lives because we have failed to be transparent about certain choices and ptifalls that many of us have made. We all have been quick to be critical of someones shortcomings while we forget ours. I as a married man who loves Jesus has to be honest with my past transgressions of sexual sins. I didn't find that help among believers in worship but among people who are willing to be transparent outside of the "worship experience". WE gotta start keeping it real or more people will continue to fall prey to Satan's lies of enjoyment through sexual exploration.... That is what we are really dealing with...
Speak my brotha'!! ;) ;D ;D
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: georgiagurl on February 07, 2008, 12:27:49 PM
Our society has conditioned many of us to have irregular relationships with the opposite sex. Dave mentioned how we still are reluctant to talk about such things in our fellowships. Sadly men and women are ensnared in these types of double lives because we have failed to be transparent about certain choices and ptifalls that many of us have made. We all have been quick to be critical of someones shortcomings while we forget ours. I as a married man who loves Jesus has to be honest with my past transgressions of sexual sins. I didn't find that help among believers in worship but among people who are willing to be transparent outside of the "worship experience". WE gotta start keeping it real or more people will continue to fall prey to Satan's lies of enjoyment through sexual exploration.... That is what we are really dealing with...
I agree with this
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: georgiagurl on February 07, 2008, 12:32:57 PM
I bleeve that pride do get in da way of da truth sometime. Folk be so self righteous that they can't see da writing on da wall. God try to warn us befoe descruction but it up to us to take heed to da warnings God try to give. I knowd I wuz heading down da wrong path wit my marriage I saw prollems develpng but I wuz too sorry to do somethin bout it. You cant be a lazy saint, do what u supposed to do and da right thang'll happen. Do what u aint supposed to do and pay da HIGH price. The devil make us thank dat we ain't gone git caught, dat we cah keep on creeping and git away wit it_but dat aint da case.
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: funkStrat_97 on February 07, 2008, 12:42:46 PM
So is sexual sin any worse than any of the other sins we commit???



If you value your spouse; FLEE from it.  If your walk with God means anything to you; FLEE from it.  It's poison.  It takes God's creaton and perverts it and in the end, you'll be the one to suffer.  I remember reading an article a while ago about how we are living in a porn driven society;  what was once taboo is now out in the open.  See the following quote:

Quote
The Effects of Visual Porn on Relationships

“Attraction is not all hard-wired. What's attractive to you also depends on your comparison standards. [...] To men who have recently been gazing at centerfolds, average women - or even their own wives - seem less attractive (Kenrick & others, 1989). Viewing pornographic films simulating passionate sex similarly decreases satisfaction with one's own partner (Zillmann, 1989). Being sexually aroused may temporarily make a person of the other sex seem more attractive. But the lingering effect of exposure to perfect "10s,", or of unrealistic sexual depictions, is to make one's own partner seem less appealing - more like a "6" than a "8." It works the same way with our self-perceptions. After viewing a superattractive person of the same sex, people feel less attractive than after viewing a homely person (Brown & others, 1992; Thornton & Moore, 1993).”
"Social Psychology" by David Myers, p441
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: LEYLAH on February 07, 2008, 12:45:58 PM
I wonder who killed Jimmy's daughter in MYSTIC RIVER?
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: georgiagurl on February 07, 2008, 12:47:40 PM
I wonder who killed Jimmy's daughter in MYSTIC RIVER?
?/?
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: pastors4jesus3 on February 07, 2008, 12:54:53 PM
If you value your spouse; FLEE from it.  If your walk with God means anything to you; FLEE from it.  It's poison.  It takes God's creaton and perverts it and in the end, you'll be the one to suffer.  I remember reading an article a while ago about how we are living in a porn driven society;  what was once taboo is now out in the open.  See the following quote:

This is a very good perspective brother funkStrat.
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: sjonathan02 on February 07, 2008, 12:58:35 PM
?/?

Just smile and nod; it's what we ALL do. Or, should. :-\
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: funkStrat_97 on February 07, 2008, 12:59:53 PM
Here is a link (below) to The Marriage Bed (http://www.themarriagebed.com/index.shtml) that also  highlights the dangers of porn.  And many of us can attest that these things are true to one degree or another because I'm willing to bet that a lot of us (guys especially) have viewed porn in one form or another....and liked it.  So porn is not boring.  These porducers know how to hook it up to make it appear to be better than the real thing.

WHY PORN IS A PROBLEM (http://www.themarriagebed.com/pages/problem/sin/problemwithporn.shtml)
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: Big T. on February 07, 2008, 01:00:18 PM
Just smile and nod; it's what we ALL do. Or, should. :-\
;)
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: pastors4jesus3 on February 07, 2008, 01:02:04 PM
Just smile and nod; it's what we ALL do. Or, should. :-\
:D
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: LEYLAH on February 07, 2008, 01:02:28 PM
Just smile and nod; it's what we ALL do. Or, should. :-\


No, I was watching the movie MYSTIC RIVER last night and missed the ending... I wondered who was the KILLER...
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: themidiroom on February 07, 2008, 01:04:13 PM
Just smile and nod; it's what we ALL do. Or, should. :-\
I don't know what the word ALL means.  Grammar Wiz can you please help me?   ;D
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: chevonee on February 07, 2008, 01:07:37 PM
Here is a link (below) to The Marriage Bed ([url]http://www.themarriagebed.com/index.shtml[/url]) that also  highlights the dangers of porn.  And many of us can attest that these things are true to one degree or another because I'm willing to bet that a lot of us (guys especially) have viewed porn in one form or another....and liked it.  So porn is not boring.  These porducers know how to hook it up to make it appear to be better than the real thing.

WHY PORN IS A PROBLEM ([url]http://www.themarriagebed.com/pages/problem/sin/problemwithporn.shtml[/url])

You know this is a really scary thing funkStrat...WoW!!! :o :o :o :o
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: sjonathan02 on February 07, 2008, 01:23:16 PM

No, I was watching the movie MYSTIC RIVER last night and missed the ending... I wondered who was the KILLER...


This is me:(http://i132.photobucket.com/albums/q1/SapphiresBlue/nod.gif)
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: chevonee on February 07, 2008, 01:33:48 PM
Would anyone like to have a glass of.......................;D :D ;D :D ;D :D ;D



































(http://images.fotosearch.com/bigcomps/CSK/CSK005/ks102929.jpg)
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: godsbassman2000 on February 07, 2008, 05:09:35 PM
Let me say first of all that this situation doesn't apply to me...THANK GOD!! I know that we may have had this discussion a while back but I'm not able to find it...so here's the question.

If you found out that your girlfriend/boyfriend, husband/wife was looking at illicit pictures what would you do?
I would need to find out what is going on with her.

If married would this be grounds for divorce...especially if this has happend before?
No. It's not like I've never viewed porn or had ungodly thoughts myself.
I cannot tell you how many times I have had to ask for forgiveness (from God and my wife) for repeat offenses.

He/She who is without sin, cast the first stone!


*I hope this doesn't offend anyone or get locked but there is someone that I need to help and I really don't know how to go about it*
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: georgiagurl on February 07, 2008, 09:52:24 PM
If you found out that your girlfriend/boyfriend, husband/wife was looking at illicit pictures what would you do?
I would need to find out what is going on with her.

If married would this be grounds for divorce...especially if this has happend before?
No. It's not like I've never viewed porn or had ungodly thoughts myself.
I cannot tell you how many times I have had to ask for forgiveness (from God and my wife) for repeat offenses.

He/She who is without sin, cast the first stone!

This is good godsbassman.
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: LEYLAH on February 07, 2008, 10:25:43 PM
I am still wondering who is the KILLER in that movie!!  :-\     :-\       :-\
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: w42879 on February 07, 2008, 10:35:19 PM
Here is a link (below) to The Marriage Bed ([url]http://www.themarriagebed.com/index.shtml[/url]) that also  highlights the dangers of porn.  And many of us can attest that these things are true to one degree or another because I'm willing to bet that a lot of us (guys especially) have viewed porn in one form or another....and liked it.  So porn is not boring.  These porducers know how to hook it up to make it appear to be better than the real thing.

WHY PORN IS A PROBLEM ([url]http://www.themarriagebed.com/pages/problem/sin/problemwithporn.shtml[/url])

People are more content to sweep things like this under the carpet. Why is it that there are almost more divorces among saved people than sinners? Because no one has the guts to admit that temptation does not die once you get saved. Lots of people have this ignorant disposition that those feelings die.
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: axeman1 on February 07, 2008, 11:22:20 PM
That is the main concern. The guy wants to know should he stay in this relationship because this makes the second time that an incident such as this has happend...but they have 3 kids who are caught in the middle of this. I just wish I knew what to say to help. :'(

Yeah Vet you know him...really well.. :o :o I wish I could help....he's such a sweet guy, who works hard to support his family...but this is what happend again. What do I say to help?

Not tryin' to butt in and I hope I'm not out of line with this B-u-u-t......,  maybe It's best if you didn't say anything.  It seems to me that you could find yourself in a heap of trouble with whatever advice you give.  This is a very personal matter and something that this man should work out between himself, his wife, maybe a spiritual counselor, and God himself.  The last thing a man should do is ask for another woman's advice on what to do about his marital problems.  There's no doubt in my mind that you have good intentions, but this good can easily be evil spoken of.  Of course I have no idea what your acquaintance is with the guy,  he could be your brother for all I know, but when any woman speaking to another woman about the marital problems of a mutual male acquaintance, and speaks of what a sweet and hard working guy he is, you know how that would be interpreted by someone with an axe to grind.  All I'm saying is be careful.
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: georgiagurl on February 08, 2008, 02:17:36 AM
Not tryin' to butt in and I hope I'm not out of line with this B-u-u-t......,  maybe It's best if you didn't say anything.  It seems to me that you could find yourself in a heap of trouble with whatever advice you give.  This is a very personal matter and something that this man should work out between himself, his wife, maybe a spiritual counselor, and God himself.  The last thing a man should do is ask for another woman's advice on what to do about his marital problems.  There's no doubt in my mind that you have good intentions, but this good can easily be evil spoken of.  Of course I have no idea what your acquaintance is with the guy,  he could be your brother for all I know, but when any woman speaking to another woman about the marital problems of a mutual male acquaintance, and speaks of what a sweet and hard working guy he is, you know how that would be interpreted by someone with an axe to grind.  All I'm saying is be careful.
I know whut u sayin but this guy some kin to my cousin(chevonee). Everybody thank of my cuz as a counselor cause she have ability to listen and be da peace maker. She git to close sometime but I trust that Chevonne gone do whut right in da sight of God and not man. Thank u for your help. Be blessed
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: chevonee on February 08, 2008, 02:37:35 AM
Not tryin' to butt in and I hope I'm not out of line with this B-u-u-t......,  maybe It's best if you didn't say anything.  It seems to me that you could find yourself in a heap of trouble with whatever advice you give.  This is a very personal matter and something that this man should work out between himself, his wife, maybe a spiritual counselor, and God himself.  The last thing a man should do is ask for another woman's advice on what to do about his marital problems.  There's no doubt in my mind that you have good intentions, but this good can easily be evil spoken of.  Of course I have no idea what your acquaintance is with the guy,  he could be your brother for all I know, but when any woman speaking to another woman about the marital problems of a mutual male acquaintance, and speaks of what a sweet and hard working guy he is, you know how that would be interpreted by someone with an axe to grind.  All I'm saying is be careful.
I know what you mean and you're absolutely right...in this case he is a very very close relative. Why do people come to me for help in these situations...I have no idea. But either way, I believe in doing things God's way. He spilled his guts and me being me, I just had to try to help. I know and understand that marriage is sacred and I treat his wife the way I would want to be treated. So yes I have washed my hands of it because I have a marriage of my own to keep in check. Thanks for your help my friend! ;)


This thread has opened my eyes to a very real issue that is breaking up marriages every single day. You guys have really helped me with your testimonies and advice... Thank God for LGM!! Fa' real
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: georgiagurl on February 08, 2008, 02:51:55 AM
I know what you mean and you're absolutely right...in this case he is a very very close relative. Why do people come to me for help in these situations...I have no idea. But either way, I believe in doing things God's way. He spilled his guts and me being me, I just had to try to help. I know and understand that marriage is sacred and I treat his wife the way I would want to be treated. So yes I have washed my hands of it because I have a marriage of my own to keep in check. Thanks for your help my friend! ;)


This thread has opened my eyes to a very real issue that is breaking up marriages every single day. You guys have really helped me with your testimonies and advice... Thank God for LGM!! Fa' real
You actually gone leave this alone  :o. There iz a God
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: chevonee on February 08, 2008, 03:16:14 AM
You actually gone leave this alone  :o. There iz a God
Now see how you iz, I thought you said that you had fafe in me....lol ;D :D ;D :D ;D :D
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: nessalynn77 on February 08, 2008, 08:43:01 AM
Y'all are the only two people I know who type with an accent, lol.
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: sjonathan02 on February 08, 2008, 08:44:20 AM
Y'all are the only two people I know who type with an accent, lol.


Ebonics is considered an accent, now? ::)
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: nessalynn77 on February 08, 2008, 08:45:57 AM

Ebonics is considered an accent, now? ::)
No, I mean I hear a southern drawl when I read their posts, lol.
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: SisterT on February 08, 2008, 08:46:27 AM
Maybe or maybe not! Only God knows who I am!  ;)

Oh, Dear!! You'd be surprised!
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: sjonathan02 on February 08, 2008, 08:46:39 AM
No, I mean I hear a southern drawl when I read their posts, lol.

Funny, I hear, "Hooked on Phonics works for me." when I read their posts.  ::) :D
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: nessalynn77 on February 08, 2008, 08:48:34 AM
Funny, I hear, "Hooked on Phonics works for me." when I read their posts.  ::) :D
*raises finger, exits the church*
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: under13 on February 08, 2008, 08:48:55 AM

Ebonics is considered an accent, now? ::)

No. Its a language.  Since I'm able to speak it, I say I'm Bilingual on my Resume
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: sjonathan02 on February 08, 2008, 08:50:01 AM
No. Its a language.  Since I'm able to speak it, I say I'm Bilingual on my Resume

I just bet you do. ::)
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: sjonathan02 on February 08, 2008, 08:50:32 AM
*raises finger, exits the church*

((Wait, where ya going? Was it something I said?))  :D :D
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: SisterT on February 08, 2008, 08:51:49 AM
*raises finger, exits the church*


SisterT *raises finger and exits the church* with Nessa.  :D :D
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: under13 on February 08, 2008, 08:55:49 AM
I just bet you do. ::)

Because the ghetto population of the US is increasing each year, It is essential that we are able to communicate with them effectivley.
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: sjonathan02 on February 08, 2008, 09:14:33 AM
Because the ghetto population of the US is increasing each year, It is essential that we are able to communicate with them effectivley.

He didn't say that. Tell me, he did NOT say that. ::)
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: chevonee on February 08, 2008, 02:09:53 PM
Funny, I hear, "Hooked on Phonics works for me." when I read their posts.  ::) :D
:o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o Oh snap!!!  :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: godsbassman2000 on February 08, 2008, 06:00:13 PM
People are more content to sweep things like this under the carpet. Why is it that there are almost more divorces among saved people than sinners? Because no one has the guts to admit that temptation does not die once you get saved. Lots of people have this ignorant disposition that those feelings die.
So true!!!!!I can't tell you how many debates I've been in regarding "my business". Is there any better way to glorify God than to be able to say I USE to do whatever and God has delivered me. I thank God Almighty that I have been set free from my past and can share any parts of it openly. Proud of it-No. No longer condemned-Yes!
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: chevonee on February 08, 2008, 06:06:09 PM
So true!!!!!I can't tell you how many debates I've been in regarding "my business". Is there any better way to glorify God than to be able to say I USE to do whatever and God has delivered me. I thank God Almighty that I have been set free from my past and can share any parts of it openly. Proud of it-No. No longer condemned-Yes!
I'm thankful for the same thing GB2000!! ;)
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: SirTJ on February 08, 2008, 06:07:27 PM
Because the ghetto population of the US is increasing each year, It is essential that we are able to communicate with them effectivley.
He didn't say that. Tell me, he did NOT say that. ::)
Funny, I hear, "Hooked on Phonics works for me." when I read their posts.  ::) :D

All together now, people. ...

"Kumbayah, my Lord. Kumbayah..."
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: chevonee on February 08, 2008, 06:10:35 PM
All together now, people. ...

"Kumbayah, my Lord. Kumbayah..."
All together now.....BLAH.....BLAH.......BLAH....... ..BLAH..........BlaaaaaaaaaaaH!!!!!!!!! ::) ::) ::)  ;D ;D
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: georgiagurl on February 08, 2008, 06:13:13 PM
Funny, I hear, "Hooked on Phonics works for me." when I read their posts.  ::) :D
Do I know u? :o
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: w42879 on February 09, 2008, 03:17:39 PM
So true!!!!!I can't tell you how many debates I've been in regarding "my business". Is there any better way to glorify God than to be able to say I USE to do whatever and God has delivered me. I thank God Almighty that I have been set free from my past and can share any parts of it openly. Proud of it-No. No longer condemned-Yes!
That is very correct Sir. Had it wasn't for God's grace where would any of us be. We should not be ashamed of where the Lord has brought us from. Be encouraged godsbassman2000!
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: Churching on February 09, 2008, 05:14:56 PM
Chevonee, counseling and much prayer is certainly in order for the husband and wife individually and as a couple.  His behavior is definitely indicative of the existence of a lust issue that he must first  acknowledged. Hopefully he will see the NEED to ask God to purge his heart and mind from sexually llicit thoughts and to give his wife the strength to honor and support him in his struggle for deliverance.

Please understand that I in no way want to give the impression that this brother is not responsible for his actions, but let's be honest that spirit of lust is so prevalent and at some point has touched us all in one way or the other.  Maybe we didn't look at pornography, but what about our thoughts etc... (Let's just be honest) Sometimes as women we don't do very much to help the imaginations of men to stay in check, by the conversations that we allow them to have with us, the things that we do and the places we go, and LAWD the things that we WEAR. As you know true deliverance can only be achieved through partnership with God (You must first want to be delivered).

Let's pray for our brother and sister and their family, Satan would love to destroy it.  I don't know your friends, but I will join you in interceeding on their behalf, Satan has had to many victories at the family's
expense.  Let's join together and pray for this family.  And wait for your praise report.  I BELIEVE GOD CAN BIND, HEAL AND DELIVER. 
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: Churching on February 09, 2008, 05:26:13 PM
I automatically also assumed that the husband was the one struggling with the lust issue.  But nothing has changed whether it's the man or woman God is the only one that can bring true delivnce and healing.
This really shouldn't be too shocking because we as woman struggle with lust issues as well.  Let's pray for the family.
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: w42879 on February 11, 2008, 06:55:28 PM
I automatically also assumed that the husband was the one struggling with the lust issue.  But nothing has changed whether it's the man or woman God is the only one that can bring true delivnce and healing.
This really shouldn't be too shocking because we as woman struggle with lust issues as well.  Let's pray for the family.
That's usually what everyone assumes but the devil doesn't care who or what he attacks just as long as he get's the job done.
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: Steelpulz on February 11, 2008, 08:32:48 PM
I would see if they wanted help with the problem that they have.
If they do then proceed forward in that direction. A good Christian counselor can help greatly.
If they don't then I don't have any good advice other than prayer (which should be #1 regardless).

Understand this, though; sexual sin is one of the most difficult things to overcome (voice of experience, here) and it requires the sinner (let's all raise our hands, now) to constantly run to the Word of God for safety and for restoration. Just speaking that name above all names can be enough to deliver us from evil.

Realize that the world is very quick to want to stone the sexual sinner while Jesus was very quick to answer "go and sin no more".  ;)
Amen to that!
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: BBoy on February 11, 2008, 09:09:10 PM
Recommend that they see their pastor.

Y'all just knew that was coming, didn't ya?  ;)

BBoy
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: under13 on February 11, 2008, 10:21:20 PM
Recommend that they see their pastor.

Y'all just knew that was coming, didn't ya?  ;)

BBoy

The last person I'd see
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: changedman on February 11, 2008, 10:58:04 PM
...okay now I KNOW I'm sleepy...


Listen here....


If you catch your spouse looking at porn
Don't be afraid, maybe a little "warned"
There may be a message trying to get through
About some things you said YOU would never do.

Things you don't like, yet they desire
Yet before you do them you'd walk through fire
So they look at the picture to get a li'l buzz
Caring less about which city Debbie does.

Now, the marriage bed is undefiled
But RUN LIKE H*** if they look at a child
'Cause doing that crap is just plain sick
Call Johnnie Cochran, and call him quick!!

But if there's a video up on the mantle
Next time give'em something they just can't handle
You have what it takes to please your mate
Go on to the courts, don't stop at the gate.

People do get bored with the same old thing
Next time, reach under the pillow and pull out a ring
If his (or her) pleasure is your main concern
The girl on the poster won't make him yearn.

Don't always be so wrapped up into you
Boasting and bragging what you'll never do
And why would you run to a therapist and pay
For what could be solved if you simply pray?

Put those limits back up on that shelf
Don't give him time THINK about nobody else
Pull out some stuff he's sure to enjoy
He might be your husband, but ol' boy's still a boy!

And if you don't want mister to be untrue
Then be on your job, make it do what it do!
And case you ain't figured, I'll give you a clue
E'ry thing done to him...already done to you!
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: under13 on February 11, 2008, 11:05:12 PM
...okay now I KNOW I'm sleepy...


Listen here....


If you catch your spouse looking at porn
Don't be afraid, maybe a little "warned"
There may be a message trying to get through
About some things you said YOU would never do.

Things you don't like, yet they desire
Yet before you do them you'd walk through fire
So they look at the picture to get a li'l buzz
Caring less about which city Debbie does.

Now, the marriage bed is undefiled
But RUN LIKE H*** if they look at a child
'Cause doing that crap is just plain sick
Call Johnnie Cochran, and call him quick!!

But if there's a video up on the mantle
Next time give'em something they just can't handle
You have what it takes to please your mate
Go on to the courts, don't stop at the gate.

People do get bored with the same old thing
Next time, reach under the pillow and pull out a ring
If his (or her) pleasure is your main concern
The girl on the poster won't make him yearn.

Don't always be so wrapped up into you
Boasting and bragging what you'll never do
And why would you run to a therapist and pay
For what could be solved if you simply pray?

Put those limits back up on that shelf
Don't give him time THINK about nobody else
Pull out some stuff he's sure to enjoy
He might be your husband, but ol' boy's still a boy!

And if you don't want mister to be untrue
Then be on your job, make it do what it do!
And case you ain't figured, I'll give you a clue
E'ry thing done to him...already done to you!

I started to go there, but I didnt feel like gettin flamed :D

This situation could have been avoided with some conversation
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: changedman on February 11, 2008, 11:19:15 PM
Naw dude...I wasn't trying to go there for real.

IMHO I agree with BBoy.  Some things are better answered through Godly counsel, and NOT from "friends who appear Godly" either.  It's one of those Pastor-parishioner issues to me.  Honestly.

But I've been up making Valentine Cards all night writing sappy love poems off the cuff on 20-something cards, so my reply just flowed "by accident".

My bad.
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: chevonee on February 12, 2008, 01:31:08 AM
...okay now I KNOW I'm sleepy...


Listen here....


If you catch your spouse looking at porn
Don't be afraid, maybe a little "warned"
There may be a message trying to get through
About some things you said YOU would never do.

Things you don't like, yet they desire
Yet before you do them you'd walk through fire
So they look at the picture to get a li'l buzz
Caring less about which city Debbie does.

Now, the marriage bed is undefiled
But RUN LIKE H*** if they look at a child
'Cause doing that crap is just plain sick
Call Johnnie Cochran, and call him quick!!

But if there's a video up on the mantle
Next time give'em something they just can't handle
You have what it takes to please your mate
Go on to the courts, don't stop at the gate.

People do get bored with the same old thing
Next time, reach under the pillow and pull out a ring
If his (or her) pleasure is your main concern
The girl on the poster won't make him yearn.

Don't always be so wrapped up into you
Boasting and bragging what you'll never do
And why would you run to a therapist and pay
For what could be solved if you simply pray?

Put those limits back up on that shelf
Don't give him time THINK about nobody else
Pull out some stuff he's sure to enjoy
He might be your husband, but ol' boy's still a boy!

And if you don't want mister to be untrue
Then be on your job, make it do what it do!
And case you ain't figured, I'll give you a clue
E'ry thing done to him...already done to you!
You are a man with unquestionable wisdom....seriously! ;)
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: changedman on February 12, 2008, 09:19:10 AM
That's the new word for sleep deprivation?  Lol.
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: pastors4jesus3 on February 12, 2008, 10:07:16 AM
That's usually what everyone assumes but the devil doesn't care who or what he attacks just as long as he get's the job done.
I agree with you brother WJ. The devil does not care who he uses. This subject has been heavily on my mind because I can just feel that there are many people who are hiding from the truth. On this past Sunday, I asked the question What are you hiding? That was based on the story of Achan attempting to hide his theft. The people of God are walking around carrying burdens that could easily be removed if you just fess up. Deliverance from things of this nature can only be resolved through the acknowledgement of the problem itself. I would like to think Sister chevonee for exposing things that no one else has the courage to uncover.


Pastor Robison
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: pastor rob on February 12, 2008, 02:47:08 PM
Y'all are the only two people I know who type with an accent, lol.

that is funny! when i read their post i hear and southern accent to. but then again maybe i'm crazy!  ;)
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: pastor rob on February 12, 2008, 02:50:23 PM
The last person I'd see

why?  ?/?
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: chevonee on February 12, 2008, 02:50:33 PM
that is funny! when i read their post i hear and southern accent to. but then again maybe i'm crazy!  ;)
YEAS INDEE-DEE!!! ;)
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: w42879 on February 14, 2008, 09:45:11 PM
I agree with you brother WJ. The devil does not care who he uses. This subject has been heavily on my mind because I can just feel that there are many people who are hiding from the truth. On this past Sunday, I asked the question What are you hiding? That was based on the story of Achan attempting to hide his theft. The people of God are walking around carrying burdens that could easily be removed if you just fess up. Deliverance from things of this nature can only be resolved through the acknowledgement of the problem itself. I would like to think Sister chevonee for exposing things that no one else has the courage to uncover.


Pastor Robison
Thanks Pastor Robison, this subject came up at my church yesterday. The first thing that I thought about was this thread right here. It is amazing how many people look good on the outside but ruined on the inside. We truly have a battle on our hands and we will not win it without exposing the devil for who is truly is. We can't just dismiss looking at dirty pictures as "a man being a man"....it must be called what it is. Be encouraged everyone.
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: under13 on February 14, 2008, 09:58:23 PM
why?  ?/?

I'd rather see a trained relationship therapist. If it happens to be another pastor then cool, but I would not feel comfortable discussing our sex life with someone like my pastor.

I honestly think that that this whole problem could have been avoided if the couple were to have had an honest conversation about thier intmate life.
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: w42879 on February 14, 2008, 10:05:37 PM
I'd rather see a trained relationship therapist. If it happens to be another pastor then cool, but I would not feel comfortable discussing our sex life with someone like my pastor.

I honestly think that that this whole problem could have been avoided if the couple were to have had an honest conversation about thier intmate life.
It's unfortunate but there are some people that one can not trust. You are correct about the fact that things can be avoided, the problem is that each individual must evaluate themselves or else all the talking in the world will not correct this type of problem. I am a man that has experienced this and I can say with a certainty that my spouse and I talked but I failed to evaluate myself daily in the word of God. It's not always the fault of the spouse that things of this sort happens. Be encouraged
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: chevonee on February 15, 2008, 01:52:43 AM
It's unfortunate but there are some people that one can not trust. You are correct about the fact that things can be avoided, the problem is that each individual must evaluate themselves or else all the talking in the world will not correct this type of problem. I am a man that has experienced this and I can say with a certainty that my spouse and I talked but I failed to evaluate myself daily in the word of God. It's not always the fault of the spouse that things of this sort happens. Be encouraged
AMEN WJ!!! God is the glue that keeps us together. When God is where he belongs in any relationship, there is no room for the devil. But when God is not where he belongs, the devil steps in. I am so tired of people making excuses for everything...no matter what the situation is there is no excuse for infidelity. Folks need to quit saying that someone pushed them to do something because Jesus took all of our excuses to the cross and left them there. You mean to tell me that God has power to raise people from the dead, turn water into wine, deliver the Hebrew boys from the fiery furnace...but he doesn't have enough power to help you stay faithful...THATS RIDICULOUS!! The truth is, we can be faithful and avoid temptation if we want to....If a person wants to do something bad enough, they will do whatever it takes to do it...
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: funkStrat_97 on February 15, 2008, 06:32:12 AM
Sometimes as women we don't do very much to help the imaginations of men to stay in check, by the conversations that we allow them to have with us, the things that we do and the places we go, and LAWD the things that we WEAR.  

Believe me it doesn't matter what you wear.  Just the fact that you are a woman is the only excuse some guys need to start imagining things.  Lust is in the heart.   
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: w42879 on February 16, 2008, 12:28:17 AM
AMEN WJ!!! God is the glue that keeps us together. When God is where he belongs in any relationship, there is no room for the devil. But when God is not where he belongs, the devil steps in. I am so tired of people making excuses for everything...no matter what the situation is there is no excuse for infidelity. Folks need to quit saying that someone pushed them to do something because Jesus took all of our excuses to the cross and left them there. You mean to tell me that God has power to raise people from the dead, turn water into wine, deliver the Hebrew boys from the fiery furnace...but he doesn't have enough power to help you stay faithful...THATS RIDICULOUS!! The truth is, we can be faithful and avoid temptation if we want to....If a person wants to do something bad enough, they will do whatever it takes to do it...
You have said a mouth full my friend. Everyday I am being bombarded by married couples who make excuses for infidelity and it is pathetic. There is no excuse in the world for such an act.

Believe me it doesn't matter what you wear.  Just the fact that you are a woman is the only excuse some guys need to start imagining things.  Lust is in the heart.  
That is so true!
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: godsbassman2000 on February 16, 2008, 02:13:06 PM
Sure, it's easy for me to say you are just making excuses, if I don't struggle with the same temptation(s) as you do.

If you listen to some people, we should be able to overcome anything on our own (if we want to). And if this is true, why do we need a Savior?

Why should someone share with us, if we are of the opinion that they are just making excuses?

Is struggling with sin an excuse?

I believe there is a difference between walking in sin and struggling with sin.


I John 1:6-10

6 If we say that we have fellowship with him, and walk in darkness, we lie, and do not the truth:

7 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.

8 If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.

9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

10 If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.



Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: Steelpulz on February 16, 2008, 05:08:58 PM
Sure, it's easy for me to say you are just making excuses, if I don't struggle with the same temptation(s) as you do.

If you listen to some people, we should be able to overcome anything on our own (if we want to). And if this is true, why do we need a Savior?

Why should someone share with us, if we are of the opinion that they are just making excuses?

Is struggling with sin an excuse?

I believe there is a difference between walking in sin and struggling with sin.


I John 1:6-10

6 If we say that we have fellowship with him, and walk in darkness, we lie, and do not the truth:

7 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.

8 If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.

9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

10 If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.






Imma tell you the truth. Everyday, I mistep. Sometimes it happens "by accident". Other times it is "on purpose". I just cannot do it by myself. Thank God for His mercy. I need Jesus and the Holy Ghost. My heart and mind says one thing, but my flesh says something else. Although, on the outside it may look like my flesh is winning, I am assured that I am saved and that my walk is a process and that God has delivered me. I am moving toward the place where His deliverance will be evident to me and to others.
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: w42879 on February 16, 2008, 06:20:36 PM
Sure, it's easy for me to say you are just making excuses, if I don't struggle with the same temptation(s) as you do.

If you listen to some people, we should be able to overcome anything on our own (if we want to). And if this is true, why do we need a Savior?

Why should someone share with us, if we are of the opinion that they are just making excuses?

Is struggling with sin an excuse?

I believe there is a difference between walking in sin and struggling with sin.


I John 1:6-10

6 If we say that we have fellowship with him, and walk in darkness, we lie, and do not the truth:

7 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.

8 If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.

9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

10 If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.




I understand what you're saying but when I speak, I am speaking through personal experience and not just off the top of my head. I was addicted to porn, women, and everything else but God delivered me when I was ready to surrender and quit making excuses. All I would say was, The flesh is weak but yet I continued to put myself in vulnerable positions. If you know that your weakness is porn why go to a porn store. We can change if we want to change. Mind you this is what worked for me, I'm not about to argue what it takes for someone else to overcome. Quite frankly that would we be ignorant on my part but I know what God did for me.  Be encouraged--WJ
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: chevonee on February 16, 2008, 09:21:42 PM
I understand what you're saying but when I speak, I am speaking through personal experience and not just off the top of my head. I was addicted to porn, women, and everything else but God delivered me when I was ready to surrender and quit making excuses. All I would say was, The flesh is weak but yet I continued to put myself in vulnerable positions. If you know that your weakness is porn why go to a porn store. We can change if we want to change. Mind you this is what worked for me, I'm not about to argue what it takes for someone else to overcome. Quite frankly that would we be ignorant on my part but I know what God did for me.  Be encouraged--WJ
Now that's what I'm talking about!! Whenever I say something its based on my own experience. I was once entangled in adultery and I know that had I avoided putting myself in a bad position that I wouldn't have been overtaken by it.

Proverbs 5:1-8 [Amplified Bible]
1 MY SON, be attentive to my Wisdom [godly Wisdom learned by actual and costly experience], and incline your ear to my understanding [of what is           becoming and prudent for you],
2 That you may exercise proper discrimination and discretion and your lips may guard and keep knowledge and the wise answer [to temptation].

3 For the lips of a loose woman drip honey as a honeycomb, and her mouth is smoother than oil;(A)

4 But in the end she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged and devouring sword.

5 Her feet go down to death; her steps take hold of Sheol (Hades, the place of the dead).

6 She loses sight of and walks not in the path of life; her ways wind about aimlessly, and you cannot know them.

7 Now therefore, my sons, listen to me, and depart not from the words of my mouth.

8 Let your way in life be far from her, and come not near the door of her house [avoid the very scenes of temptation],(B)

Walking in sin is knowing that you have a problem with alcohol but you still go to a bar. You know you have a lust problem but you watch things that you know that you shouldn't watch....An excuse is when you continue to sin but you fail to seek God to correct that problem. God has the power to help us overcome anything that we want to overcome...God is bigger than any problem or any habit...we just have to quit magnifying the problem and magnify God. When God is bigger the problem is smaller....when the problem is bigger, God is smaller.
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: bigblackdrummer on February 16, 2008, 09:37:04 PM
Let me say first of all that this situation doesn't apply to me...THANK GOD!! I know that we may have had this discussion a while back but I'm not able to find it...so here's the question. If you found out that your girlfriend/boyfriend, husband/wife was looking at illicit pictures what would you do? If married would this be grounds for divorce...especially if this has happened before?

*I hope this doesn't offend anyone or get locked but there is someone that I need to help and I really don't know how to go about it*

There are so many reasons why people turn to porn!!! Its certainly NOT grounds for divorce!!! Its something that both partners need to talk about.....Could be a sexual issue. Some women think its cool to just say no to their spouses needs all the time! After awhile men might turn to porn to satisfy their needs, not only that they start to notice other women sexually.....When a mans needs are being fulfilled (usually) their minds have better control over sinful sexual thoughts BUT neglected even the Pastors wife starts looking good!!!!!

Don't forget this is not a one reason one fix answer. I just touched on one subject.
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: under13 on February 16, 2008, 09:58:16 PM
There are so many reasons why people turn to porn!!! Its certainly NOT grounds for divorce!!! Its something that both partners need to talk about.....Could be a sexual issue. Some women think its cool to just say no to their spouses needs all the time! After awhile men might turn to porn to satisfy their needs, not only that they start to notice other women sexually.....When a mans needs are being fulfilled (usually) their minds have better control over sinful sexual thoughts BUT neglected even the Pastors wife starts looking good!!!!!

Don't forget this is not a one reason one fix answer. I just touched on one subject.



(http://i267.photobucket.com/albums/ii314/Jlaws318/ding.gif)

I think many people are afraid to tell their partner that they are unsatisfied
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: godsbassman2000 on February 16, 2008, 10:21:03 PM
There are so many reasons why people turn to porn!!! Its certainly NOT grounds for divorce!!! Its something that both partners need to talk about.....Could be a sexual issue. Some women think its cool to just say no to their spouses needs all the time! After awhile men might turn to porn to satisfy their needs, not only that they start to notice other women sexually.....When a mans needs are being fulfilled (usually) their minds have better control over sinful sexual thoughts BUT neglected even the Pastors wife starts looking good!!!!!

Don't forget this is not a one reason one fix answer. I just touched on one subject.
I agree with you. There is no pat answer to this issue.
Below is supporting scripture not "my personal opinion".  



1 Corinthians 7 (New King James Version)
New King James Version (NKJV)
Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc.

1 Corinthians 7
Principles of Marriage

1 Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me:
It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
2 Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.
3 Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband.
4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.
5 Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
6 But I say this as a concession, not as a commandment.
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: w42879 on February 16, 2008, 10:25:50 PM
There are so many reasons why people turn to porn!!! Its certainly NOT grounds for divorce!!! Its something that both partners need to talk about.....Could be a sexual issue. Some women think its cool to just say no to their spouses needs all the time! After awhile men might turn to porn to satisfy their needs, not only that they start to notice other women sexually.....When a mans needs are being fulfilled (usually) their minds have better control over sinful sexual thoughts BUT neglected even the Pastors wife starts looking good!!!!!

Don't forget this is not a one reason one fix answer. I just touched on one subject.
Again from my own personal experience I can tell you that a woman could look like J-lo but, if you don't tame that flesh you'll cheat on her just like you would Ugly Betty. You can make love everyday of the week, but if you don't tame that flesh you still won't be satisfied. I understand your point and yes women and men can deprive their spouses of their due marital rights according to 1 Cor 7th chapter but that still does not justify breaking marriage vows. No one has a right to cheat. If we sought God the way that we sought porn then we wouldn't have a problem.
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: under13 on February 16, 2008, 10:28:34 PM
Again from my own personal experience I can tell you that a woman could look like J-lo but, if you don't tame that flesh you'll cheat on her just like you would Ugly Betty.

I thought Ugly Betty was kinda hot!!
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: chevonee on February 16, 2008, 10:32:47 PM
Let me ask a simple question....When we stand before God, are we going to be able to say....God I cheated on my spouse because he/she didn't give me as much as I wanted? Is God going to accept that?
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: under13 on February 16, 2008, 10:38:47 PM
Let me ask a simple question....When we stand before God, are we going to be able to say....God I cheated on my spouse because he/she didn't give me as much as I wanted? Is God going to accept that?

What happened to forgiveness of sins? ?/?
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: w42879 on February 16, 2008, 10:45:37 PM
What happened to forgiveness of sins? ?/?
God is not mocked my friend. He is not going to allow us to continue in sin and get away with it. I can't tell you how many times I apologized to my ex-wife, she forgave me over and over again but her patience eventually wore thin. God forgives but he will not allow us to continue to sin.
Romans 6:1-3--Message Bible
1-3So what do we do? Keep on sinning so God can keep on forgiving? I should hope not! If we've left the country where sin is sovereign, how can we still live in our old house there? Or didn't you realize we packed up and left there for good? That is what happened in baptism. When we went under the water, we left the old country of sin behind; when we came up out of the water, we entered into the new country of grace—a new life in a new land!
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: under13 on February 16, 2008, 10:49:51 PM
God is not mocked my friend. He is not going to allow us to continue in sin and get away with it. I can't tell you how many times I apologized to my ex-wife, she forgave me over and over again but her patience eventually wore thin. God forgives but he will not allow us to continue to sin.
Romans 6:1-3--Message Bible
1-3So what do we do? Keep on sinning so God can keep on forgiving? I should hope not! If we've left the country where sin is sovereign, how can we still live in our old house there? Or didn't you realize we packed up and left there for good? That is what happened in baptism. When we went under the water, we left the old country of sin behind; when we came up out of the water, we entered into the new country of grace—a new life in a new land!

Thanks. Are you a preacher?
Ima have to cop the messege vrssion of the Bible
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: godsbassman2000 on February 16, 2008, 10:52:55 PM
Again from my own personal experience I can tell you that a woman could look like J-lo but, if you don't tame that flesh you'll cheat on her just like you would Ugly Betty. You can make love everyday of the week, but if you don't tame that flesh you still won't be satisfied.

I understand your point and yes women and men can deprive their spouses of their due marital rights according to 1 Cor 7th chapter but that still does not justify breaking marriage vows.
Very true. You will never find me calling wrong, right. No, it is not justified. Yet, it is something that happens in and out of the church. Galatians 6 speaks of restoring a brother or sister who has been overtaken by sin. Why?

No one has a right to cheat. If we sought God the way that we sought porn then we wouldn't have a problem.
Let's be real, or better yet I'll be real. I love the Lord as much as I am able. But, it does not negate the fact that I struggle with lust at times. And, it is much stronger when me and my wife are at odds. I have been on the doorstep of adultery. My mind and my body were willing, but my heart and spirit were not. By God's grace and mercy, it did not happen.
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: chevonee on February 16, 2008, 10:57:25 PM
God is not mocked my friend. He is not going to allow us to continue in sin and get away with it. I can't tell you how many times I apologized to my ex-wife, she forgave me over and over again but her patience eventually wore thin. God forgives but he will not allow us to continue to sin.
Romans 6:1-3--Message Bible
1-3So what do we do? Keep on sinning so God can keep on forgiving? I should hope not! If we've left the country where sin is sovereign, how can we still live in our old house there? Or didn't you realize we packed up and left there for good? That is what happened in baptism. When we went under the water, we left the old country of sin behind; when we came up out of the water, we entered into the new country of grace—a new life in a new land!
This is the key to it all WJ....its one thing to sin but to continue in sin is two totally different things. The problem lies in the fact that we appologize but fail to seek God to cleanse us of all unrighteousness. "Baby please forgive me".....continue to sin...."I'm sorry baby"....continue to sin...."See what had happen"....continue to sin. Would you like for someone to treat you that way? Of course not. That's just the way we see it though, its not our jobs to try to convice anyone of anything. This is the scripture that you mentioned. God bless!! ;)

Galatians 6:7
Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: w42879 on February 16, 2008, 11:12:44 PM
Thanks. Are you a preacher?
Ima have to cop the messege vrssion of the Bible
I'm an Associate Pastor

Let's be real, or better yet I'll be real. I love the Lord as much as I am able. But, it does not negate the fact that I struggle with lust at times. And, it is much stronger when me and my wife are at odds. I have been on the doorstep of adultery. My mind and my body were willing, but my heart and spirit were not. By God's grace and mercy, it did not happen.
God has no problem whatsoever with struggling, yeilding is what angers God.

This is the key to it all WJ....its one thing to sin but to continue in sin is two totally different things. The problem lies in the fact that we appologize but fail to seek God to cleanse us of all unrighteousness. "Baby please forgive me".....continue to sin...."I'm sorry baby"....continue to sin...."See what had happen"....continue to sin. Would you like for someone to treat you that way? Of course not. That's just the way we see it though, its not our jobs to try to convice anyone of anything. This is the scripture that you mentioned. God bless!! ;)

Galatians 6:7
Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap
Precisely my friend. I'm not trying to change anyones mind, I'm merely speaking from my own experience. As long as I spent time daily  in the Word of God, I had to lust problem. When I stopped spending time with God, I failed. It's really that simple. I believe that you've already stated the fact that we can trust God to do everything else but keep us faithful in our marriages. That is an insult to God--WJ
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: godsbassman2000 on February 16, 2008, 11:15:50 PM
This is the key to it all WJ....its one thing to sin but to continue in sin is two totally different things. The problem lies in the fact that we appologize but fail to seek God to cleanse us of all unrighteousness. "Baby please forgive me".....continue to sin...."I'm sorry baby"....continue to sin...."See what had happen"....continue to sin. Would you like for someone to treat you that way? Of course not. That's just the way we see it though, its not our jobs to try to convice anyone of anything. This is the scripture that you mentioned. God bless!! ;)

Could this be because there is a deeper issue at hand?
Before I entered treatment for alcohol abuse, I was clueless as to why I kept drinking and getting drunk, even when I promised not to do it again. And, nothing changed until I got professional help. I often feel that "Christians" overlook the fact that human beings have problems which are not resolved by prayer alone. And it is not necessarily a lack of faith. God is my all and all. But, I still go the the doctor when I need to.

Galatians 6:7
Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: godsbassman2000 on February 16, 2008, 11:20:05 PM
I'm an Associate Pastor

God has no problem whatsoever with struggling, yeilding is what angers God.
If "we" could live this life without sometimes yielding to sin, why was it necessary for Jesus to die?  
Precisely my friend. I'm not trying to change anyones mind, I'm merely speaking from my own experience. As long as I spent time daily  in the Word of God, I had to lust problem. When I stopped spending time with God, I failed. It's really that simple. I believe that you've already stated the fact that we can trust God to do everything else but keep us faithful in our marriages. That is an insult to God--WJ
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: chevonee on February 16, 2008, 11:25:28 PM

Lets not try to make this conversation out of something that its not, read the Word for yourself and interpret it as you see fit. If you need therapy get therapy...do whatever you want but God is not going to allow anyone to get away with continuing to sin. Thats all WJ and I are saying.
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: w42879 on February 16, 2008, 11:32:58 PM
Lets not try to make this conversation out of something that its not, read the Word for yourself and interpret it as you see fit. If you need therapy get therapy...do whatever you want but God is not going to allow anyone to get away with continuing to sin. Thats all WJ and I are saying.
Exactly Chevonne. If you read the scriptures that we just went over there is no way in the world to misunderstand what we're saying because we're merely saying what God has already said. I'm out---WJ
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: godsbassman2000 on February 16, 2008, 11:45:11 PM
Lets not try to make this conversation out of something that its not, read the Word for yourself and interpret it as you see fit. If you need therapy get therapy...do whatever you want but God is not going to allow anyone to get away with continuing to sin. Thats all WJ and I are saying.

Did you read my posts? I have not once condoned continuing a life of sin. Even the bible itself makes a distinction between the occassional sin and the practice of sin.

1 John 2 (New International Version)
New International Version (NIV)
Copyright ? 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society

   

1 John 2
1 My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have one who speaks to the Father in our defense?Jesus Christ, the Righteous One.
2 He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for[a] the sins of the whole world.
1 Corinthians 6:8-10 (New King James Version)


New King James Version (NKJV)
Copyright ? 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc.

 
9 Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals,[a] nor sodomites, 10 nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God


Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: chevonee on February 16, 2008, 11:52:23 PM

Did you read my posts? I have not once condoned continuing a life of sin. Even the bible itself makes a distinction between the occassional sin and the practice of sin.

1 John 2 (New International Version)
New International Version (NIV)
Copyright ? 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society

   

1 John 2
1 My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have one who speaks to the Father in our defense?Jesus Christ, the Righteous One.
2 He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for[a] the sins of the whole world.
1 Corinthians 6:8-10 (New King James Version)


New King James Version (NKJV)
Copyright ? 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc.

 
9 Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals,[a] nor sodomites, 10 nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God



No one is jumping on your case man. We all agree that sin can not go unpunished...so what is the problem? There is no need to get upset about anything because no one said that you condoned sin.
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: w42879 on February 17, 2008, 12:00:22 AM
No one is jumping on your case man. We all agree that sin can not go unpunished...so what is the problem? There is no need to get upset about anything because no one said that you condoned sin.
I agree Chevonne. There should be no problem as long as we are saying what God has already said--WJ
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: godsbassman2000 on February 17, 2008, 12:10:53 AM

No one is jumping on your case man. We all agree that sin can not go unpunished...so what is the problem? There is no need to get upset about anything because no one said that you condoned sin.

Lets not try to make this conversation out of something that its not, read the Word for yourself and interpret it as you see fit. If you need therapy get therapy...do whatever you want but God is not going to allow anyone to get away with continuing to sin. Thats all WJ and I are saying.

After this I'll be done. What did you mean by the above statement?
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: pastors4jesus3 on February 17, 2008, 12:15:46 AM
Now that's what I'm talking about!! Whenever I say something its based on my own experience. I was once entangled in adultery and I know that had I avoided putting myself in a bad position that I wouldn't have been overtaken by it.

Proverbs 5:1-8 [Amplified Bible]
1 MY SON, be attentive to my Wisdom [godly Wisdom learned by actual and costly experience], and incline your ear to my understanding [of what is           becoming and prudent for you],
2 That you may exercise proper discrimination and discretion and your lips may guard and keep knowledge and the wise answer [to temptation].

3 For the lips of a loose woman drip honey as a honeycomb, and her mouth is smoother than oil;(A)

4 But in the end she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged and devouring sword.

5 Her feet go down to death; her steps take hold of Sheol (Hades, the place of the dead).

6 She loses sight of and walks not in the path of life; her ways wind about aimlessly, and you cannot know them.

7 Now therefore, my sons, listen to me, and depart not from the words of my mouth.

8 Let your way in life be far from her, and come not near the door of her house [avoid the very scenes of temptation],(B)

Walking in sin is knowing that you have a problem with alcohol but you still go to a bar. You know you have a lust problem but you watch things that you know that you shouldn't watch....An excuse is when you continue to sin but you fail to seek God to correct that problem. God has the power to help us overcome anything that we want to overcome...God is bigger than any problem or any habit...we just have to quit magnifying the problem and magnify God. When God is bigger the problem is smaller....when the problem is bigger, God is smaller.
This is where my marriage failed. I continued to appologize but I didn't change inside. God cares more about what's hidden than he does about what appears in the open. I preached in public and shouted but behind closed doors I was cheating on my wife and blaming her. My wife loved me and she treated me the way the Bible said a husband should be treated but I took her love for granted. Sin is worth it until the result comes about.


Pastor Robison
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: w42879 on February 17, 2008, 12:28:11 AM
This is where my marriage failed. I continued to appologize but I didn't change inside. God cares more about what's hidden than he does about what appears in the open. I preached in public and shouted but behind closed doors I was cheating on my wife and blaming her. My wife loved me and she treated me the way the Bible said a husband should be treated but I took her love for granted. Sin is worth it until the result comes about.


Pastor Robison
I experienced the same thing Pastor Robison.

No one is jumping on your case man. We all agree that sin can not go unpunished...so what is the problem? There is no need to get upset about anything because no one said that you condoned sin.

Lets not try to make this conversation out of something that its not, read the Word for yourself and interpret it as you see fit. If you need therapy get therapy...do whatever you want but God is not going to allow anyone to get away with continuing to sin. Thats all WJ and I are saying.

After this I'll be done. What did you mean by the above statement?
At the end of the day the only thing that all of us need to understand is that God's Word is the only thing that matters. Neither Chevonne or myself, intended to insult you or anyone else. You may think or do whatever the Lord leads you to do, please don't think that we're trying to change you. Again, we can only speak from our own experience, how can that possibly be an issue?
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: chevonee on February 17, 2008, 12:44:24 AM
Godsbassman what God says is all that should concern you and I and everyone else. Again no one ever said that Godsbassman is condoning sin....and I don't know where that came from. All I know is what I did and the price I paid as a result.

This is where my marriage failed. I continued to appologize but I didn't change inside. God cares more about what's hidden than he does about what appears in the open. I preached in public and shouted but behind closed doors I was cheating on my wife and blaming her. My wife loved me and she treated me the way the Bible said a husband should be treated but I took her love for granted. Sin is worth it until the result comes about.


Pastor Robison
Well said Pastor Robison. Thank you for sharing your story with us....I believe that this is what's going to make the difference. Our experience is what's going to help people know the power of God...and how he can help us overcome anything... IF WE LET HIM!!!!
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: godsbassman2000 on February 17, 2008, 12:53:01 AM
I experienced the same thing Pastor Robison.


At the end of the day the only thing that all of us need to understand is that God's Word is the only thing that matters. Neither Chevonne or myself, intended to insult you or anyone else. You may think or do whatever the Lord leads you to do, please don't think that we're trying to change you. Again, we can only speak from our own experience, how can that possibly be an issue?

I believe since we were speaking from our experience, some things that were said could not be fully understood by one another. Our experience with the Lord and His word just speaks differently to us.

This kinda reminds me of marriage. We say the same thing a different way, go round and round, just to discover we were pretty much saying the same thing. :)

I still love you both, and, based on this conversation, we'll "do it again"! :) :) :D (In love). :)

Peace,
Greg
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: godsbassman2000 on February 17, 2008, 01:06:38 AM
Godsbassman what God says is all that should concern you and I and everyone else. Again no one ever said that Godsbassman is condoning sin....and I don't know where that came from.

I think we were saying the same thing. There seem to have been a disagreement where there is none.
It could've been me. If so, it'll probably happen again!  :):D
When I get worked up, sometimes my ears shut down!  :):D

Thanks to you and w42879 for continuing the dialogue to resolution!


 All I know is what I did and the price I paid as a result.
Well said Pastor Robison. Thank you for sharing your story with us....I believe that this is what's going to make the difference. Our experience is what's going to help people know the power of God...and how he can help us overcome anything... IF WE LET HIM!!!!
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: dwest2419 on February 17, 2008, 06:21:18 PM
As a person who's been delivered from this type of thing I can say that one must be willing to catch it before it blows up in your face. I was preaching, shouting and teaching but behind closed doors, I was addicted to porn. It took me 10 years to build it, but only a matter of seconds to ruin it.

God is faithful and just to forgive us and cleans us of all unrighteousness but we must be willing to admit it and not make excuses for such an act. I don't care what is happening in our lives we have absolutely no right to indulge in such fleshly foolishness. Now that I have owned up to the problem, I have been free for more than 4 years it is still a struggle. I had to decide to avoid the very appearance of evil. It starts small and then it develops into something that you wouldn't imagine. The devil can sugar coat it and make it look enticing but after you get caught, he laughs at you and tell you how foolish you were for falling into the trap that he set.

It's not worth it


Pastor Robison

Sorry for bringing up this topic. But, your word gave me encouragement!

The thing that I hate is: when you know you have gotten delivered from something, and you start to commit yourself to God by living right. But, along the way you have people who you see in the world do the stuff that you have gotten delivered from, and it seems sometimes that they almost try to impose it back on you again or do it on purposely. Because you don't want to go back in bondage again being bound from something that God has delivered you from. Well, they may haven't meant to do it intentionally, or may have not even known that they offended you by there actions. But, maybe they don't know that there being blinded by there sin, and being influenced by the enemy.

I mean the enemy sure know our weak points. If he can't get you to sin in the area where you have gotten victory over him anymore, than he'll use against you on what he had success at in the very beginning, by getting you to sin, and to fall & stumble. Once he have gotten you in the area where he's good at, then he goes up to God and say: "see God I told you he wasn't perfect, he wasn't upright, he ain't holy I got him to sin." He's the accuser of the brethren, this is what he does, and he's good at! But, I thank God for his grace & mercy, and his precious blood he shed for us on calvary. That without the shedding of the blood there can be no remission for sins. One scripture I can think of that comes to mind is...

1 Peter 3:17-18

17: For the time is come that judgment must begin at the house of God: and if it first begin at us, what shall the end be of them that obey not the gospel of God?

18: And if the righteous scarcely be saved, where shall the ungodly and the sinner appear?
Title: Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
Post by: georgiagurl on February 18, 2008, 12:05:11 AM
Dis right here iz a good subject Vonne. I bleeve dat its alots of people dat carry around secret sin and dis will help em know that God can restore our soul. It take a lots of guts to own up to thang like dis too so be blessed--Pastor Robison, w42879, and all a yall.