LearnGospelMusic.com Community
Main => Gospel Music Lounge => Topic started by: under13 on March 04, 2008, 09:22:59 AM
-
Find out here:
http://www.familywatchdog.us/
-
Find out here:
[url]http://www.familywatchdog.us/[/url]
I heard a debate recently about state sex offender registries. While people have a right to know if there's a sex offender living near them, why stop at sex offenders. Maybe we should have registries for theives, drug dealers, con men/women, etc, etc. Also, I could be wrong but all sex offenders are not interested in harming children.
-
I heard a debate recently about state sex offender registries. While people have a right to know if there's a sex offender living near them, why stop at sex offenders. Maybe we should have registries for theives, drug dealers, con men/women, etc, etc. Also, I could be wrong but all sex offenders are not interested in harming children.
True, a lot of them are into harming adults.
::)
I think that may be a good idea, but I dont think drug dealers and thieves are on the same level as rapist and sexual abusers
-
I think that may be a good idea, but I dont think drug dealers and thieves are on the same level as rapist and sexual abusers
Ummm you're right. drug dealers probably get longer sentences.
-
True, a lot of them are into harming adults.
::)
I think that may be a good idea, but I dont think drug dealers and thieves are on the same level as rapist and sexual abusers
That's according to the world's view, but according to God, sin is sin.
I agree with you midiroom.
I have mixed emotions about registering offenders. On one hand, I would want to know, but on the other hand, is it really helpful? Does knowing about my neighbor's offenses going to cause me to live in FEAR? Will it make me suspicious of their every move? Will knowing keep unforgiveness in my heart?
We say we want to become more like Christ and grow in grace, but knowing the details of another’s past (whether criminal or not) will keep us in fear and unforgiveness, which ultimately hinders our growth. Satan is clever with his tricks and mind games.
Just a thought. ;)
-
That's according to the world's view, but according to God, sin is sin.
I agree with you midiroom.
I have mixed emotions about registering offenders. On one hand, I would want to know, but on the other hand, is it really helpful? Does knowing about my neighbor's offenses going to cause me to live in FEAR? Will it make me suspicious of their every move? Will knowing keep unforgiveness in my heart?
We say we want to become more like Christ and grow in grace, but knowing the details of another’s past (whether criminal or not) will keep us in fear and unforgiveness, which ultimately hinders our growth. Satan is clever with his tricks and mind games.
Just a thought. ;)
Interesting thought. Quick question, which hand DOES one use? :-\
-
Interesting thought. Quick question, which hand DOES one use? :-\
I choose not to live in fear. I also choose not to be a victim. You can become a victim of your own self-inflicted fear.
I work with criminals. I minister at several prisons each month. There are no bars, guards or guns seperating me from the criminal who is doing life and have nothing to lose. I've been in prison during a lockdown. Never have I been afraid.
Precious jewels are usually kept locked up. Criminals, no matter what the offense, are God's precious jewels too. I guess I'm looking at it from a different perspective.
We might know about those who have been locked up because of a register, but what about the serial killer, sex offender, etc., who may live right next to you and just haven't been caught?
I choose not to live in fear! Satan is clever with his tricks and mind games.
-
but on the other hand, is it really helpful?
It is my job as a father to protect my children, I should know those that live around me.
I would rather know I was living next to a predator before so I could watch and pray, rather than afterward when it could be to late and the life long damage is done.
"And we beseech you, brethren, to know them which labour live among you" ;D
-
That's according to the world's view, but according to God, sin is sin.
I agree with you midiroom.
Why thank you sister T ;D
The thing about these sex offender registries is it provides information but what are you supposed to do with it. And what about the opportunity for a sex offender to be delivered and want to start a new life.
-
That's according to the world's view, but according to God, sin is sin.
I agree with you midiroom.
I have mixed emotions about registering offenders. On one hand, I would want to know, but on the other hand, is it really helpful? Does knowing about my neighbor's offenses going to cause me to live in FEAR? Will it make me suspicious of their every move? Will knowing keep unforgiveness in my heart?
We say we want to become more like Christ and grow in grace, but knowing the details of another?s past (whether criminal or not) will keep us in fear and unforgiveness, which ultimately hinders our growth. Satan is clever with his tricks and mind games.
Just a thought. ;)
I have several younger sisters. If there is a guy that lives across the street from us, who likes to rape young women, I think it is beneficial that they know what this guy looks like.
Ummm you're right. drug dealers probably get longer sentences.
Aint that crazy? Not to downplay Drug dealers they are very detrimental to our communities, but they dont (usually) force people to take drugs. People take them willingly. Nobody willingly gets raped (usaully)
I choose not to live in fear. I also choose not to be a victim. You can become a victim of your own self-inflicted fear.
I work with criminals. I minister at several prisons each month. There are no bars, guards or guns seperating me from the criminal who is doing life and have nothing to lose. I've been in prison during a lockdown. Never have I been afraid.
Precious jewels are usually kept locked up. Criminals, no matter what the offense, are God's precious jewels too. I guess I'm looking at it from a different perspective.
We might know about those who have been locked up because of a register, but what about the serial killer, sex offender, etc., who may live right next to you and just haven't been caught?
I choose not to live in fear! Satan is clever with his tricks and mind games.
I agree, we cant live in fear. That would not be spirtually or emotionally healthy. But I think we have to be aware.
-
It is my job as a father to protect my children, I should know those that live around me.
I would rather know I was living next to a predator before so I could watch and pray, rather than afterward when it could be to late and the life long damage is done.
"And we beseech you, brethren, to know them which labour live among you" ;D
And then we exert our energy watching and protecting those we know, and totally missed what I already stated:
We might know about those who have been locked up because of a register, but what about the serial killer, sex offender, etc., who may live right next to you and just haven't been caught?
I educated and protect my family, not from CERTAIN PEOPLE, but CERTAIN BEHAVIORS. I think having a register makes us focus on people and live in fear of them. FEAR is unhealthy and keeps us in bondage. Focusing on behaviors keep us free from the bondage of fear and unforgivess.
-
I have several younger sisters. If there is a guy that lives across the street from us, who likes to rape young women, I think it is beneficial that they know what this guy looks like.
Aint that crazy? Not to downplay Drug dealers they are very detrimental to our communities, but they dont (usually) force people to take drugs. People take them willingly. Nobody willingly gets raped (usaully)
I agree, we cant live in fear. That would not be spirtually or emotionally healthy. But I think we have to be aware.
What if the guy that lives across the street likes to kill young women. Your sisters might be in trouble then as well but oh you won't know about the murderer across the street because everybody is consumed with the sex offender registry. I'm not even sure if they tell you what type of sexual offense so it could be rape, could be a lude act, or many other things that fall under a sex offense.
-
I'm not even sure if they tell you what type of sexual offense so it could be rape, could be a lude act, or many other things that fall under a sex offense.
That's true--Pee-Wee Herman is a sex offender---he didn't rape anyone, unless you consider himself. :D
The 20 yearl od is now a sex offender because a 14 year old lied about her age.
The john who got with a willing prostitue is now a sex offender.
I also agree with the idea that some people can change. The Blood is able to transform anyone. What if God allowed a register with everything we did for the world to see. Do you think we'd be treated as FORGIVEN by God?
Just another thought---most times when an offender is arrested for the first time, it's usually the most upstanding person in the neighborhood. Everyone is shocked that such a thing was going on right under their noses. WHY? People don't look at behaviors, people focus on certain people.
We'll turn our noses up it the ones who we know are or were offenders, but we'll embrace the REAL predator because they just don't look the part---but all along, the behavior was there..
-
That's true--Pee-Wee Herman is a sex offender---he didn't rape anyone, unless you consider himself. :D
The 20 yearl od is now a sex offender because a 14 year old lied about her age.
The john who got with a willing prostitue is now a sex offender.
I also agree with the idea that some people can change. The Blood is able to transform anyone. What if God allowed a register with everything we did for the world to see. Do you think we'd be treated as FORGIVEN by God?
Just another thought---most times when an offender is arrested for the first time, it's usually the most upstanding person in the neighborhood. Everyone is shocked that such a thing was going on right under their noses. WHY? People don't look at behaviors, people focus on certain people.
We'll turn our noses up it the ones who we know are or were offenders, but we'll embrace the REAL predator because they just don't look the part---but all along, the behavior was there..
Much appreciated, you just helped me with something. Real talk. :)
-
What if the guy that lives across the street likes to kill young women. Your sisters might be in trouble then as well but oh you won't know about the murderer across the street because everybody is consumed with the sex offender registry. I'm not even sure if they tell you what type of sexual offense so it could be rape, could be a lude act, or many other things that fall under a sex offense.
Did you even check the site? It tells you all of that info.
Nobody forces you to check the sites or open the letters from the schools, so if you dont wanna know, then you dont have to.
-
WOW!!! Thats why im MOVING!!!! REAL TALK!!!!
-
Did you even check the site? It tells you all of that info.
Nobody forces you to check the sites or open the letters from the schools, so if you dont wanna know, then you dont have to.
I've seen some of the state sites. I haven't clicked on this link because of where I work and might not be prudent to do so. You're right that the information is out there and you don't have to seek it but why stop at sex offenders. The same people who demand there be sex offender registries so they can protect their children are some of the same folks that let their kids roam around on the net or they let their kids watch videos on BET and MTV. If you're really going to protect your children, try protecting them for real.
-
While people have a right to know if there's a sex offender living near them, why stop at sex offenders. Maybe we should have registries for theives, drug dealers, con men/women, etc, etc.
You're right. It's based on the idea that these offenders are repeater at a high rate and needs to be controlled in a different manner than other offenders. When I went thru the system I noticed that offenders of ALL crimes were repeaters at almost the same rate, with the exception of murderers. But the average person don't know that. They only know what the tv tells them.
-
And then we exert our energy watching and protecting those we know, and totally missed what I already stated:
I educated and protect my family, not from CERTAIN PEOPLE, but CERTAIN BEHAVIORS. I think having a register makes us focus on people and live in fear of them. FEAR is unhealthy and keeps us in bondage. Focusing on behaviors keep us free from the bondage of fear and unforgivess.
I did miss it, read right over it. Sorry.
You make a great point about educating against behaviors and not people. But can you truly educate against a predator. If someone jumps out of a normal looking car and snatches your child off a bus stop the education isn't going to help much.
No we shouldn't live in fear you are right, but we shouldn't shun the knowledge readily available.
-
Much appreciated, you just helped me with something. Real talk. :)
You welcome-----now I'm wondering what you were dealing with. ;D
I did miss it, read right over it. Sorry.
You make a great point about educating against behaviors and not people. But can you truly educate against a predator. If someone jumps out of a normal looking car and snatches your child off a bus stop the education isn't going to help much.
No we shouldn't live in fear you are right, but we shouldn't shun the knowledge readily available.
Well, here's a real story....I'll be transparent...
There was a guy in our church who we all "heard" (opposed to really knowing) was a child molester. I became suspicious and watchful of him. I treated him differently based on the talk of the town.
One day, I found out that he had in fact molested a child a few years back. I really wacthed him--more than ever before. One day, one of the kids said she was uncomfortable with the man being around. I asked her if he had did anything to her, and she said no. She already told her parents about her feelings.
Well, I was very protective of the kids in our church because I was over the choir and had a good relationship with each of them. So, because of the factual information I had gotten, FEAR caused me to react. I pulled the man on the side and told him, "If you ever touch any of these kids, I'll hurt you. And if you ever touch any of MY children, I'll kill you." I actually meant what I said. But my words were driven by what MIGHT happen. I never considered that it MAY NOT happen and this man could have changed. Fear caused me to disrespect the man and act in an unloving, unforgiving, unchristlike manner. And you know what's sad...the girl and her parents were uncomfortable because they had gotten the same "information" about the man's past that I had gotten.
The man never touched the kids...but he left the church because of the way I and some of the other "protective moms" mistreated him. We continued to punish him for a crime that God had already forgave him of.
Since then, I repented and asked forgiveness....but if we are willing to be real, we will come to realized that FEAR influences us to say and do some very STUPID stuff....and where do you think that influence is rooted?....Satan is very clever with his tricks and mind games.
-
hm, there's a BUNCH of them cats near where i live.......Great Caesar's Ghost....
-
Well, here's a real story....I'll be transparent...
There was a guy in our church who we all "heard" (opposed to really knowing) was a child molester. I became suspicious and watchful of him. I treated him differently based on the talk of the town.
One day, I found out that he had in fact molested a child a few years back. I really wacthed him--more than ever before. One day, one of the kids said she was uncomfortable with the man being around. I asked her if he had did anything to her, and she said no. She already told her parents about her feelings.
Well, I was very pertective of the kids in our church because I was over the choir and had a good relationship with each of them. So, because of the factual information I had gotten, FEAR caused me to react. I pulled the man on the side and told him, "If you ever touch any of these kids, I'll hurt you. And if you ever touch any of MY children, I'll kill you." I actually meant what I said. But my words were driven by what MIGHT happen. I never considered that it MAY NOT happen and this man could have changed. Fear caused me to disrespect the man and act in an unloving, unforgiving, unchristlike manner. And you know what's sad...the girl and her parents were uncomfortable because they had gotten the same "information" about the man's past that I had gotten.
The man never touched the kids...but he left the church because of the way I and some of the other "protective moms" mistreated him. We continued to punish him for a crme that God had already forgave him of.
Since then, I repented and asked forgiveness....but if we are willing to be real, we will come to realized that FEAR influences us to say and do some very STUPID stuff....and where do you think that influence is rooted?....Satan is very clever with his tricks and mind games.
WoW. You made me forget what I had to say. I wouldnt have confronted him or endorsed harrasing him, but I think the kids should know not to interact with him outside of church. There is a 'crazy' guy who visits our church, I dont know what he has done in the past, but I would not endorse my kids hanging around him outside of church.
But you have a great point, we cant go around harrasing those who have done/are doing wrong. Thats why many folks are so turned off by the church, Because we are often times more judgmental than the 'world'
hm, there's a BUNCH of them cats near where i live.......Great Caesar's Ghost....
Yeah I checked out Brooklyn, It would be impossible to know all of the offenders in your hood.
-
Well, here's a real story....I'll be transparent...
There was a guy in our church who we all "heard" (opposed to really knowing) was a child molester. I became suspicious and watchful of him. I treated him differently based on the talk of the town.
One day, I found out that he had in fact molested a child a few years back. I really wacthed him--more than ever before. One day, one of the kids said she was uncomfortable with the man being around. I asked her if he had did anything to her, and she said no. She already told her parents about her feelings.
Well, I was very protective of the kids in our church because I was over the choir and had a good relationship with each of them. So, because of the factual information I had gotten, FEAR caused me to react. I pulled the man on the side and told him, "If you ever touch any of these kids, I'll hurt you. And if you ever touch any of MY children, I'll kill you." I actually meant what I said. But my words were driven by what MIGHT happen. I never considered that it MAY NOT happen and this man could have changed. Fear caused me to disrespect the man and act in an unloving, unforgiving, unchristlike manner. And you know what's sad...the girl and her parents were uncomfortable because they had gotten the same "information" about the man's past that I had gotten.
The man never touched the kids...but he left the church because of the way I and some of the other "protective moms" mistreated him. We continued to punish him for a crime that God had already forgave him of.
Since then, I repented and asked forgiveness....but if we are willing to be real, we will come to realized that FEAR influences us to say and do some very STUPID stuff....and where do you think that influence is rooted?....Satan is very clever with his tricks and mind games.
WOW! Thank you for being transparent.
I know I would have acted a lot worse if put in the same situation. I can see why you say it is better not to know. I have never thought of it that way.
I guess that's where faith in God for protection and prayer over your children "daily" is needed.
-
I guess that's where faith in God for protection and prayer over your children "daily" is needed.
We pray over ours every morning. Sometimes, 2 - 3 times a day.
-
We pray over ours every morning. Sometimes, 2 - 3 times a day.
Pray over my little man in the morning on the way to daycare and at night before I lay him down.
We live a wicked world.
-
WOW! Thank you for being transparent.
I know I would have acted a lot worse if put in the same situation. I can see why you say it is better not to know. I have never thought of it that way.
I guess that's where faith in God for protection and prayer over your children "daily" is needed.
I think if we were to be honest with ourselves, we'd realize that such information will more than likely cause us to fear and react/respond differently to a person. We really wouldn't give a person a fair chance if we know what they have done in the past.
I too pray daily for my kids. I have given them back to God and I trust that he will watch over them and keep them.Of course I won't put them in harms way, but I also won't panic and constantly watch the sex offenders list. There's a whole lot of other folk who can damage my kids that aren't on anyone's offenders list. So prayer is the key. The bottom line is---whatever happens to my kids is God allowed.
-
I think if we were to be honest with ourselves, we'd realize that such information will more than likely cause us to fear and react/respond differently to a person. We really wouldn't give a person a fair chance if we know what they have done in the past.
I too pray daily for my kids. I have given them back to God and I trust that he will watch over them and keep them.Of course I won't put them in harms way, but I also won't panic and constantly watch the sex offenders list. There's a whole lot of other folk who can damage my kids that aren't on anyone's offenders list. So prayer is the key. The bottom line is---whatever happens to my kids is God allowed.
I think w/predators info is good. We, not satan choose how we act and react w/info. Like a lot of you I have prayed and pray over my children even now with one gone. The reality of it is that even with our covering them with the blood, bad things sometimes happen to our children that is beyond our control. First hand experince (sp) lets me know this.
Our family has been victim to a few things, with all the praying and education, because of sin in the world and the attack of the enemy are family (and us) are subject to attacks. Information is great. The chooses that I make with it decides a lot.
-
Wow. SisterT took the gavel away with that one. i love it!
-
Sister T,
I'm just reading this thread for the first time, and I was going to cosign your first post (and Midi's first post), but as I continued reading, I wanted to cosign every post you made.
So, to sum it all up, I'll just give you a total thread COSIGN ( :D :D). You really rocked this thread. My prayer cap goes off to you... lol
-
Sister T,
I'm just reading this thread for the first time, and I was going to cosign your first post (and Midi's first post), but as I continued reading, I wanted to cosign every post you made.
So, to sum it all up, I'll just give you a total thread COSIGN ( :D :D). You really rocked this thread. My prayer cap goes off to you... lol
You mean your doily....
-
You mean your doily....
OMG... dude... how about when I typed that, I started to put a line in saying "and shuddup, Wolfie... nobody asked you nuthin!!!"
But, I wasn't sure if you'd see it or not. I shoulda known... ::)
:D :D :D
Well anyway, now that you're here.... SHUDDUP, WOLFIE!!!!!
-
I have 3 sex offenders in my block alone. The messed up part is I played b-ball with one of the cats and never knew. It's kinda messed up, especial cause me and dude son is cool.. :-\
-
I have 3 sex offenders in my block alone. The messed up part is I played b-ball with one of the cats and never knew. It's kinda messed up, especial cause me and dude son is cool.. :-\
So, why would anything change?
-
Wow. SisterT took the gavel away with that one. i love it!
Sister T,
I'm just reading this thread for the first time, and I was going to cosign your first post (and Midi's first post), but as I continued reading, I wanted to cosign every post you made.
So, to sum it all up, I'll just give you a total thread COSIGN ( :D :D). You really rocked this thread. My prayer cap goes off to you... lol
Thank you both!....ain't proud of my past actions, but I just had to keep it real.
-
I have 3 sex offenders in my block alone. The messed up part is I played b-ball with one of the cats and never knew. It's kinda messed up, especial cause me and dude son is cool.. :-\
Dude you've got to move and right away. And they let "those" people have kids too.
Of course, I'm being sarcastic. ;)
-
Dude you've got to move and right away. And they let "those" people have kids too.
Of course, I'm being sarcastic. ;)
He was having a good time playing ball with the guy. He even like dude's son....but, now with a little information, things are different (It's kinda messed up)? ?/?
My point has been made. :D ;D
-
He was having a good time playing ball with the guy. He even like dude's son....but, now with a little information, things are different (It's kinda messed up)? ?/?
My point has been made. :D ;D
I was just thinking of the fact that some folks get convicted of things they really didn't do. Lets say you were incorrectly identified or maybe one of those cases where there was no DNA or the court won't admit the DNA that would clear you.
-
He was having a good time playing ball with the guy. He even like dude's son....but, now with a little information, things are different (It's kinda messed up)? ?/?
My point has been made. :D ;D
But how do we know that these people have changed and wont do it again?
-
But how do we know that these people have changed and wont do it again?
How do we know if they did what they were convicted of doing? How do we know YOU won't be involved in some offense of a sexual nature?
-
How do we know if they did what they were convicted of doing? How do we know YOU won't be involved in some offense of a sexual nature?
Indeed.
-
How do we know if they did what they were convicted of doing? How do we know YOU won't be involved in some offense of a sexual nature?
1.True we dont know, but how do we know if people who comit other crimes, who are spending many years to life in jail have actually done the crime they are convicted of? I think that these sex offenders should consider themselves lucky that they arent in jail. What would you choose: Being labled as a sex offender OR Going to jail and getting sexually offended.
Sorry guys, but I have no sympathy for someone who rapes or sodomizes a little kid or adult. You Do do the crime you do the time.
2. How do we know YOU won't be involved in some offense of a sexual nature?
-
1.True we dont know, but how do we know if people who comit other crimes, who are spending many years to life in jail have actually done the crime they are convicted of? I think that these sex offenders should consider themselves lucky that they arent in jail. What would you choose: Being labled as a sex offender OR Going to jail and getting sexually offended.
Sorry guys, but I have no sympathy for someone who rapes or sodomizes a little kid or adult. You Do do the crime you do the time.
2. How do we know YOU won't be involved in some offense of a sexual nature?
a. We're talking about the fact that they've DONE the time already. How long are WE supposed to punish them for that crime?
b. Anyone could be involved in some offense of ANY nature. What are we to do, stay in our homes all day? ::)
-
1.True we dont know, but how do we know if people who comit other crimes, who are spending many years to life in jail have actually done the crime they are convicted of? I think that these sex offenders should consider themselves lucky that they arent in jail. What would you choose: Being labled as a sex offender OR Going to jail and getting sexually offended.
Sorry guys, but I have no sympathy for someone who rapes or sodomizes a little kid or adult. You Do do the crime you do the time.
2. How do we know YOU won't be involved in some offense of a sexual nature?
The answer is you don't know. I still stand by my point that if you're going to have sex offender awareness, then we need murderer awareness. What's with the fixation on knowing who the sex offenders and trying to either move away from them or keep them from living where they want to live?
-
a. We're talking about the fact that they've DONE the time already. How long are WE supposed to punish them for that crime?
b. Anyone could be involved in some offense of ANY nature. What are we to do, stay in our homes all day? ::)
How long are we suposed to punish murderers? Them ninjas be gettin LIFE or the death penalty
The answer is you don't know. I still stand by my point that if you're going to have sex offender awareness, then we need murderer awareness. What's with the fixation on knowing who the sex offenders and trying to either move away from them or keep them from living where they want to live?
I didnt think murderers got out. And if they do, and they move into your community, I would think that you would be notified
I'd really like to see some more opinions, especially from those whose families have gone through something like this.
-
I wonder How our opinions would change if one of us got raped :-\
-
How long are we suposed to punish murderers? Them ninjas be gettin LIFE or the death penalty
Really, you mean those who get OUT after serving there sentences? ::)
Boy, are your reading comprehension skills on the level; do you need to be tested? :-\
We're talking about folks who GOT OUT OF PRISON for their crime. ::)
-
I wonder How our opinions would change if one of us got raped :-\
I wonder how our opinions would change if we KNEW someone who was accused or convicted or rape? :-\
-
Really, you mean those who get OUT after serving there sentences? ::)
Boy, are your reading comprehension skills on the level; do you need to be tested? :-\
We're talking about folks who GOT OUT OF PRISON for their crime. ::)
So should convicted felons who have gotten out of jail lose thier rights?
I think being labled a sex offender is part of the sentence
I wonder how our opinions would change if we KNEW someone who was accused or convicted or rape? :-\
Well we all read sistert's testimony....
-
Let's be honest here, these sex offender sites (esp. the ones that aren't run by the states) appeal to people's emotions. The old "not in my neighborhood" mentality. I want to protect the children by not allowing that vermin to live near me. There's a town here in MO that just passed an ordinance that convicted sex offenders aren't allowed in public parks. Ummm what??
-
Let's be honest here, these sex offender sites (esp. the ones that aren't run by the states) appeal to people's emotions. The old "not in my neighborhood" mentality. I want to protect the children by not allowing that vermin to live near me. There's a town here in MO that just passed an ordinance that convicted sex offenders aren't allowed in public parks. Ummm what??
"Great Idea!! Let's post a board at the park entrance with ALL their pictures. Or make all of them wear yellow stars on their sleeves..."
You know, this can get real crazy.
-
"Great Idea!! Let's post a board at the park entrance with ALL their pictures. Or make all of them wear yellow stars on their sleeves..."
You know, this can get real crazy.
Indeed. I'm not saying that a sex offender should not have to serve their time. I'm not saying that there should not be concern about whether or not they have changed. All I'm pointing out is the intent and the spirit that fuels these infomational sites. Is anybody out there actually trying to help these people? If you think they can't possibly have changed their ways, then maybe they need a site to try to help them.
-
So should convicted felons who have gotten out of jail lose thier rights?
I think being labled a sex offender is part of the sentence
Well we all read sistert's testimony....
That was what Sister T did. We all aren't Sister T. As you have so "eloquently" demonstrated.
Once convicted felons are released they, after a time, are rewarded their rights, just as any other citizen. It's US who hold them accountability long past the law, and God, have released them. :-\
-
I wonder how our opinions would change if we KNEW someone who was accused or convicted or rape? :-\
I know someone who was convicted of sexual assault and aggravated sexual assault on two occasions. The first time, he spent 6 years in prison, the second time, 2 (because it was a lesser offense).
Additionally, one of my former clients (a pastor from Atlanta) is currently serving a 3-year sentence for a sexual assault charge. When his case came to light, out of curiosity, I reviewed the sex offender registry for many counties in the Atlanta metro area. I was surprised to find quite a many familiar faces on the list. I can't say they were friends, but one of them was an acquaintance with whom I had worked on a church start-up, and the others were just faces that I had recognized from various church events and things around the city.
Back to the first person. He's my brother-in-law (my sister-in-law's husband). I hesitated to offer an opinion on this subject because it's one of the many subjects on which I don't really have a solid opinion. However, I can tell you this: I am extremely careful not to be around him without someone else being there. I'm certainly not afraid that he might harm me, because that's not his style. But, I am concerned that he might either come on to me or that for any reason whatsoever, there might be an issue down the road... I don't want no drama, so I avoid the appearance...
Secondly, I do not allow my daughter to be alone with him under any circumstances.
Thirdly, some of you may remember that I mentioned a while back that my 9-year-old godson was suddenly having "accidents" with his bowels. This is his son. The first thing I asked him, and my sister-in-law, was whether anyone was touching him inappropriately.
To sum it up, the thoughts will be there, but I don't treat him any differently. In fact, I really love him a lot as a brother, and consider him to be an otherwise good person with a serious struggle.
-
However, I can tell you this: I am extremely careful not to be around him without someone else being there. I'm certainly not afraid that he might harm me, because that's not his style. But, I am concerned that he might either come on to me or that for any reason whatsoever, there might be an issue down the road... I don't want no drama, so I avoid the appearance...
Secondly, I do not allow my daughter to be alone with him under any circumstances.
Thirdly, some of you may remember that I mentioned a while back that my 9-year-old godson was suddenly having "accidents" with his bowels. This is his son. The first thing I asked him, and my sister-in-law, was whether anyone was touching him inappropriately.
To sum it up, the thoughts will be there, but I don't treat him any differently. In fact, I really love him a lot as a brother, and consider him to be an otherwise good person with a serious struggle.
Isn't that treating him differently? I'm not saying that you shouldnt, but I'm just sayin..
I think it would be in our best interest, (esp. women), to learn some self defense. But most children is defenseless
-
I suppose one might be able to argue the semantics of it, but in my opinion, keeping my daughter from being in his care unattended is not treating him any differently. I don't speak to him any differently, handle him any differently, address him any differently, or interact with him any differently than I would if he hadn't been involved in these situations.
For the record, my daughter, when she was younger, was a chronic and pathelogical storyteller. I forbade her to be alone with her older cousin, and my brother-in-law because I determined that I never wanted to be in a position where my daughter made an accusation against my nephew or brother-in-law, and I had to question whether or not she was telling me the truth. I determined right then and there that I would never allow myself to be in that position, so I would never allow her to be alone with either of them.
Nonetheless, I don't treat either one of them any differently at all.
-
I suppose one might be able to argue the semantics of it, but in my opinion, keeping my daughter from being in his care unattended is not treating him any differently. I don't speak to him any differently, handle him any differently, address him any differently, or interact with him any differently than I would if he hadn't been involved in these situations.
For the record, my daughter, when she was younger, was a chronic and pathelogical storyteller. I forbade her to be alone with her older cousin, and my brother-in-law because I determined that I never wanted to be in a position where my daughter made an accusation against my nephew or brother-in-law, and I had to question whether or not she was telling me the truth. I determined right then and there that I would never allow myself to be in that position, so I would never allow her to be alone with either of them.
Nonetheless, I don't treat either one of them any differently at all.
I think see what you are saying. You may 'treat' him different, but you dont really carry it out on him in an obvious way. I think thats the way it should be done. We have to take precautions, but not harass and put down people for thier past offences
Great example by the way.
-
I agree with SisterT. Watching how people act usually tells their true nature, whether or not they have been convicted of anything. I see the whole sex-offender register thing as a form of racism or prejudicism (if that's a word).
-
I know someone who was convicted of sexual assault and aggravated sexual assault on two occasions. The first time, he spent 6 years in prison, the second time, 2 (because it was a lesser offense).
Additionally, one of my former clients (a pastor from Atlanta) is currently serving a 3-year sentence for a sexual assault charge. When his case came to light, out of curiosity, I reviewed the sex offender registry for many counties in the Atlanta metro area. I was surprised to find quite a many familiar faces on the list. I can't say they were friends, but one of them was an acquaintance with whom I had worked on a church start-up, and the others were just faces that I had recognized from various church events and things around the city.
Back to the first person. He's my brother-in-law (my sister-in-law's husband). I hesitated to offer an opinion on this subject because it's one of the many subjects on which I don't really have a solid opinion. However, I can tell you this: I am extremely careful not to be around him without someone else being there. I'm certainly not afraid that he might harm me, because that's not his style. But, I am concerned that he might either come on to me or that for any reason whatsoever, there might be an issue down the road... I don't want no drama, so I avoid the appearance...
Secondly, I do not allow my daughter to be alone with him under any circumstances.
Thirdly, some of you may remember that I mentioned a while back that my 9-year-old godson was suddenly having "accidents" with his bowels. This is his son. The first thing I asked him, and my sister-in-law, was whether anyone was touching him inappropriately.
To sum it up, the thoughts will be there, but I don't treat him any differently. In fact, I really love him a lot as a brother, and consider him to be an otherwise good person with a serious struggle.
I'm just getting to this. I appreciate your candor. You, along with Sister T, have helped me with something. Thanks. :)
-
I'm just getting to this. I appreciate your candor. You, along with Sister T, have helped me with something. Thanks. :)
And what are we? chopped liver? ;D
-
And what are we? chopped liver? ;D
:D :D :D :D :D
-
I'v been reading the responses in this thread, and I understand each point. However, I must say that SisterT has shown immense wisdom in her responses. I agree whole-heartly with EVERYTHING you said, SisterT, and I appreciate your transparency.
I'd really like to see some more opinions, especially from those whose families have gone through something like this.
I'll be transparent as well, and I'll try to be as brief as possible. I have first-hand experience with this issue as my family has gone through this whole ordeal. Back in 1994, when I was 18 years old and a senior in high school, my father allowed my 9-year-old niece to touch him inappropriately. Two of my nieces were living with us at the time, and had been molested several times during their childhood, while they were living with her mother, which is why they were living with my parents (their paternal grandparents). That night, my father came to me in tears and told me he was a failure, and that he hoped I didn't grow to hate him. Of course I'm thinking "Where is this coming from?"! The next day, my father turned himself in to the authorities. My mother then informed me what had happened, and my world literally turned upside down.
I went from being a carefree high school college-bound honor roll kid, to a reclusive mess. How would YOU feel if your two-parent, loving household became a single-parent home overnight because of something so shameful? My grade point average went from 3.8 to a 1.9. My mother was so hurt by the whole thing, that she could not really be much help to me. The neighbors found out about what happened, and so did the members of our church. We never really talked about it with people, so many people were left to speculate about the actual details, and boy did I hear some outlandish stories!
Everyone in my family was hurt and devastated by this on so many levels. The amazing thing, though, is that we forgave my dad almost immediately. I can tell you that many different emotions beset me. I would be sad, then angry, then confused, but mostly sad. My family got through it. My brother (my niece's father) forgave my dad, as did their mother, and everyone involved. None of us wanted my dad to go to prison. Even though what he did was very wrong, and we agreed that he should have some kind of punishment, we thought he should be required to go to counseling, or put on probation. My dad had been a hard-working, law abiding family man for all his life. He had been on his job for 20 years, and had simply, in our view, made a terrible mistake. There was not a systematic, repeated act of child molestation.
My dad was appointed a public defender for his trial. I began seeing a special counselor at school during this whole ordeal. Eventually, my dad was sentenced to 10 years in prison. I was angry at the world. I was angry at the system, angry at my mom because I felt like she did not do enough. I knew people who had killed other people and didn't get 10 years in prison. There was no sodomy or penetration involved in the crime, and while that does NOT excuse what my father did, I just felt the sentence was too steep. Everyone that knew my dad and my family was devastated when the sentence was pronounced.
My father spent 6 years in prison. My parents reconciled their relationship. We went to visit him occasionally in prison. Even though I loved my dad dearly, I HATED visiting him in prison. I went so I could see my dad, and I didn't want him to feel bad, but I hated going to that prison and sitting there all day! He was a model prisoner, participated in the prison ministry, and was called "pop" by the other inmates, and they all respected him, which I thought was cool. I graduated from high school, and put off college to work full time to help my mom pay the bills. I worked two jobs. My dad had been making very good money on his job, and we no longer had that income.
My father was released from prison in 2000, and my whole family was happy. Part of his sentence was 8 years probation, 2 of which he had to wear an ankle bracelet at ALL times. About three weeks or so after his release, I noticed people passing out pamphlets outside. They placed one on each door in the neighborhood. When I looked at the one on our door, it had a big picture of my dad, with his name, his charges, his sentence, and it said he was a SEXUAL PREDATOR. When my dad saw the pamphlet, he started crying. I had never seen my father cry like that. He kept apologizing to me and my mom. There were a few people in the neighborhood who started acting like they were fearful. Fortunately, we lived in the predominately black "hood" that I grew up in, and people mostly lived and let live. Not to mention the fact that on the sex offender website there are about 3 listed on every street in our neighborhood! He wore that ankle bracelet for two years, and consistently reported to his probation officer. He went to his court ordered counseling sessions (which he was required to pay for out of his own pocket).
My nieces are all grown up and are beautiful young ladies. My oldest niece (the victim) has 2 children of her own, and they absolutely adore my father. They call him "paw". My parents renewed their vows for their 25th anniversary back in 2003. My dad is saved believer in Jesus CHrist. He will be 61 years old this coming Sunday, and is as hard working as he ever was. Myself, my mom, my dad, my two brothers, my nieces and nephews, my whole family have all mended our relationship and put the past behind us. I'm a junior in college now, studying to be a teacher.
...and my dad is on that website as a SEXUAL PREDATOR.
I have a different perspective now that I have personally dealt with this. I would imagine that I would be one of those who would say "I don't want those demons in my neighborhood" or "I would disown any family member of mine who was a sex offender." All I can say is that at my age I have learned not to judge any situation until you have walked a mile in someone else's shoes.
I believe parents definitely have a right to protect their children. There are indeed creeps out there who would victimize children, and indeed deserve to be punished to the full extent of the law. I am not a "sex-offender advocate" because of what happened in my family. I only wish that people would look at both sides of the issue before jumping to conclusions. The point is, it shouldn't take a website for you to watch and pray over your children, and for you to be cautious with your children.
What if all of our past (and current) indescretions were plastered for everyone to see? What if, even after you served your time, and paid your debt to society, you were forced to walk around with a label? I could understand maybe repeat offenders being closely monitored. I don't claim to have all the answeres. I'm just offering a perspective in this situation of someone who has been through this.
A few years ago when I was still living with my parents, I got a knock on the door. I opened the door and there was a reporter there with a microphone and a camera. "Mr.__________(my last name, which happens to be the same as my father's). I said "yes". He then began to ask me how I felt about the fact that congress was considering passing a law to make it mandatory that sex offenders wear tracking devices for the rest of their lives. I told him I thought it was a bit extreme. It then became clear to me that he thought I was my father. He asked me to go on camera and I declined.
Okay so much for brevity!! I'm sorry this post is so long-winded, and I basically almost told my life story! But this is not the first thread about this subject that has been on LGM, and I thought I would offer an account of one who has experienced this issue on BOTH sides. Both the VICTIM and the PERPETRATOR were two people I love.
-
I'v been reading the responses in this thread, and I understand each point. However, I must say that SisterT has shown immense wisdom in her responses. I agree whole-heartly with EVERYTHING you said, SisterT, and I appreciate your transparency.
I'll be transparent as well, and I'll try to be as brief as possible. I have first-hand experience with this issue as my family has gone through this whole ordeal. Back in 1994, when I was 18 years old and a senior in high school, may father allowed my 9-year-old niece to touch him inappropriately. Two of my nieces were living with us at the time, and had been molested several times during their childhood, while they were living with her mother, which is why they were living with my parents (their paternal grandparents). That night, my father came to me in tears and told me he was a failure, and that he hoped I didn't grow to hate him. Of course I'm thinking "Where is this coming from?"! The next day, my father turned himself in to the authorities. My mother then informed me what had happened, and my world literally turned upside down.
I went from being a carefree high school college-bound honor roll kid, to a reclusive mess. How would YOU feel if your two-parent, loving household became a single-parent home overnight because of something so shameful? My grade point average went from 3.8 to a 1.9. My mother was so hurt by the whole thing, that she could not really be much help to me. The neighbors found out about what happened, and so did the members of our church. We never really talked about it with people, so many people were left to speculate about the actual details, and boy did I hear some outlandish stories!
Everyone in my family was hurt and devastated by this on so many levels. The amazing thing, though, is that we forgave my dad almost immediately. I can tell you that many different emotions beset me. I would be sad, then angry, then confused, but mostly sad. My family got through it. My brother (my niece's father) forgave my dad, as did their mother, and everyone involved. None of us wanted my dad to go to prison. Even though what he did was very wrong, and we agreed that he should have some kind of punishment, we thought he should be required to go to counseling, or put on probation. My dad had been a hard-working, law abiding family man for all his life. He had been on his job for 20 years, and had simply, in our view, made a terrible mistake. There was not a systematic act of child molestattion
My dad was appointed apublic defender for his trial. I began seeing a special counselor at school during this whole ordeal. Eventually, my dad was sentenced to 10 years in prison. I was angry at the world. I was angry at the system, angry at my mom because I feel she did not do enough. I knew people who has killed other people and didn't get 10 years in prison. There was no sodomy or penetration involved in the crime, and while that does NOT excuse what my father did, I just felt the sentence was too steep. Everyone that knew my dad and my family was devastated when the sentence was pronounced.
My father spent 6 years in prison. My parents reconciled their relationship. We went to visit him occasionally in prison. Even though I loved my dad dearly, I HATED visiting him in prison. I went so I could see my dad, and I didn't want him to feel bad, but I hated going to that prison and sitting there all day! He was a model prisoner, participated in the prison ministry, and was called "pop" by the other inmates, and they all respected him, which I thought was cool. I graduated from high school, and put off college to work full time to help my mom pay the bills. I worked two jobs. My dad was amkig very good money on his job, and we no longer had that income.
My father was released from prison in 2000, and my whole family was happy. Part of his sentence was 8 years probation, 2 of which he had to wear an ankle bracelet at ALL times. About three weeks or so after his release, I was noticed people passing out pamphlets outside. They placed one on each door in the neighborhood. When I looked at the one on our door, it had a big picture of my dad, with his name, his charges, his sentence, and it said he was a SEXUAL PREDATOR. When my dad saw the pamphlet, he started crying. I had never seen my father cry like that. He kept apologizing to me and my mom. There were a few people in the neighborhood who started acting like they were fearful. Fortunately, we lived in the predominately black "hood" that I grew up in, and people mostly lived and let live. Not to mention the fact that on the sex offender website there are about 3 listed on every street in our neighborhood! He wore that ankle bracelet for two years, and consistently reported to his probation officer. He went to his court ordered counseling sessions (which he was required to pay for out of his own pocket).
My nieces are all grown up and beutiful young ladies. My oldest niece (the victim) has 2 children of her own, and they absolutely adore my father. They call him "paw". May parents renewed their vows for their 25th anniversary back in 2003. My dad is saved believer in Jesus CHrist. He will be 61 years old this coming Sunday, and is as hard working as he ever was. Myself, my mom, my dad, my two brothers, my nieces and nephews, my whole family have all mended our relationship and put the past behind us. I'm a junior in college now, studying to be a teacher.
...and my dad is on that website as a SEXUAL PREDATOR.
I have a different perspective now that I have personally dealt with this. I would imagine that I would be one of those who would say "I don't want those demons in my neighborhood" or "I would disown any family member of mine who was a sex offender." All I can say is that at my age I have learned not to judge any situation until you have walked a mile in someone else's shoes.
I believe parents definitely have a right to protect their children. There are indeed creeps out there who would victimize children, and indeed deserve to be punished to the full extent of the law. I am not a "sex-offender advocate" because of what happened in my family. I only wish that people would look at both sides of the issue before jumping to conclusions.
What if all of our past (and current) indescretions were plastered for everyone to see? What if, even after you served your time, and paid your debt to society, you were forced to walk around with a label? I could understand maybe repeat offenders being closely monitored. I don't claim to have all the answeres. I'm just offering a perspective in this situation of someone who has been through this.
A few years ago when I was still living with my parents, I got a knock on the door. I opened the door and there was a reporter there with a microphone and a camera. "Mr.__________(my last name, which happens to be the same as my father's). I said "yes". He then began to ask me how I felt about the fact that congress was considering passing a law to make it mandatory that sex offenders wear tracking devices for the rest of their lives. I told him I thought it was a bit extreme. It then became clear to me that he thought I was my father. He asked me to go on camera and I declined.
Okay so much for brevity!! I'm sorry this post is so long-winded, and I basically almost told my life story! But this is not the first thread about this subject that has been on LGM, and I thought I would offer an account of one who has experienced this issue on BOTH sides. Both the VICTIM and the PERPETRATOR were two people I love.
(http://i267.photobucket.com/albums/ii314/Jlaws318/toolongcleanversion.gif)
BUt I'ma Try, and get back to you
-
Okay so much for brevity!! I'm sorry this post is so long-winded, and I basically almost told my life story! But this is not the first thread about this subject that has been on LGM, and I thought I would offer an account of one who has experienced this issue on BOTH sides. Both the VICTIM and the PERPETRATOR were two people I love.
Loopy,
I really appreciate you sharing with us.
-
What if all of our past (and current) indescretions were plastered for everyone to see? What if, even after you served your time, and paid your debt to society, you were forced to walk around with a label? I could understand maybe repeat offenders being closely monitored. I don't claim to have all the answeres. I'm just offering a perspective in this situation of someone who has been through this.
This is the whole argument with why this isn't a good idea man. Your testimony is powerful, great words of wisdom.
-
I'v been reading the responses in this thread, and I understand each point. However, I must say that SisterT has shown immense wisdom in her responses. I agree whole-heartly with EVERYTHING you said, SisterT, and I appreciate your transparency.
I'll be transparent as well, and I'll try to be as brief as possible. I have first-hand experience with this issue as my family has gone through this whole ordeal. Back in 1994, when I was 18 years old and a senior in high school, may father allowed my 9-year-old niece to touch him inappropriately. Two of my nieces were living with us at the time, and had been molested several times during their childhood, while they were living with her mother, which is why they were living with my parents (their paternal grandparents). That night, my father came to me in tears and told me he was a failure, and that he hoped I didn't grow to hate him. Of course I'm thinking "Where is this coming from?"! The next day, my father turned himself in to the authorities. My mother then informed me what had happened, and my world literally turned upside down.
I went from being a carefree high school college-bound honor roll kid, to a reclusive mess. How would YOU feel if your two-parent, loving household became a single-parent home overnight because of something so shameful? My grade point average went from 3.8 to a 1.9. My mother was so hurt by the whole thing, that she could not really be much help to me. The neighbors found out about what happened, and so did the members of our church. We never really talked about it with people, so many people were left to speculate about the actual details, and boy did I hear some outlandish stories!
Everyone in my family was hurt and devastated by this on so many levels. The amazing thing, though, is that we forgave my dad almost immediately. I can tell you that many different emotions beset me. I would be sad, then angry, then confused, but mostly sad. My family got through it. My brother (my niece's father) forgave my dad, as did their mother, and everyone involved. None of us wanted my dad to go to prison. Even though what he did was very wrong, and we agreed that he should have some kind of punishment, we thought he should be required to go to counseling, or put on probation. My dad had been a hard-working, law abiding family man for all his life. He had been on his job for 20 years, and had simply, in our view, made a terrible mistake. There was not a systematic, repeated act of child molestation.
My dad was appointed a public defender for his trial. I began seeing a special counselor at school during this whole ordeal. Eventually, my dad was sentenced to 10 years in prison. I was angry at the world. I was angry at the system, angry at my mom because I felt like she did not do enough. I knew people who had killed other people and didn't get 10 years in prison. There was no sodomy or penetration involved in the crime, and while that does NOT excuse what my father did, I just felt the sentence was too steep. Everyone that knew my dad and my family was devastated when the sentence was pronounced.
My father spent 6 years in prison. My parents reconciled their relationship. We went to visit him occasionally in prison. Even though I loved my dad dearly, I HATED visiting him in prison. I went so I could see my dad, and I didn't want him to feel bad, but I hated going to that prison and sitting there all day! He was a model prisoner, participated in the prison ministry, and was called "pop" by the other inmates, and they all respected him, which I thought was cool. I graduated from high school, and put off college to work full time to help my mom pay the bills. I worked two jobs. My dad had been making very good money on his job, and we no longer had that income.
My father was released from prison in 2000, and my whole family was happy. Part of his sentence was 8 years probation, 2 of which he had to wear an ankle bracelet at ALL times. About three weeks or so after his release, I noticed people passing out pamphlets outside. They placed one on each door in the neighborhood. When I looked at the one on our door, it had a big picture of my dad, with his name, his charges, his sentence, and it said he was a SEXUAL PREDATOR. When my dad saw the pamphlet, he started crying. I had never seen my father cry like that. He kept apologizing to me and my mom. There were a few people in the neighborhood who started acting like they were fearful. Fortunately, we lived in the predominately black "hood" that I grew up in, and people mostly lived and let live. Not to mention the fact that on the sex offender website there are about 3 listed on every street in our neighborhood! He wore that ankle bracelet for two years, and consistently reported to his probation officer. He went to his court ordered counseling sessions (which he was required to pay for out of his own pocket).
My nieces are all grown up and are beautiful young ladies. My oldest niece (the victim) has 2 children of her own, and they absolutely adore my father. They call him "paw". May parents renewed their vows for their 25th anniversary back in 2003. My dad is saved believer in Jesus CHrist. He will be 61 years old this coming Sunday, and is as hard working as he ever was. Myself, my mom, my dad, my two brothers, my nieces and nephews, my whole family have all mended our relationship and put the past behind us. I'm a junior in college now, studying to be a teacher.
...and my dad is on that website as a SEXUAL PREDATOR.
I have a different perspective now that I have personally dealt with this. I would imagine that I would be one of those who would say "I don't want those demons in my neighborhood" or "I would disown any family member of mine who was a sex offender." All I can say is that at my age I have learned not to judge any situation until you have walked a mile in someone else's shoes.
I believe parents definitely have a right to protect their children. There are indeed creeps out there who would victimize children, and indeed deserve to be punished to the full extent of the law. I am not a "sex-offender advocate" because of what happened in my family. I only wish that people would look at both sides of the issue before jumping to conclusions. The point is, it shouldn't take a website for you to watch and pray over your children, and for you to be cautious with your children.
What if all of our past (and current) indescretions were plastered for everyone to see? What if, even after you served your time, and paid your debt to society, you were forced to walk around with a label? I could understand maybe repeat offenders being closely monitored. I don't claim to have all the answeres. I'm just offering a perspective in this situation of someone who has been through this.
A few years ago when I was still living with my parents, I got a knock on the door. I opened the door and there was a reporter there with a microphone and a camera. "Mr.__________(my last name, which happens to be the same as my father's). I said "yes". He then began to ask me how I felt about the fact that congress was considering passing a law to make it mandatory that sex offenders wear tracking devices for the rest of their lives. I told him I thought it was a bit extreme. It then became clear to me that he thought I was my father. He asked me to go on camera and I declined.
Okay so much for brevity!! I'm sorry this post is so long-winded, and I basically almost told my life story! But this is not the first thread about this subject that has been on LGM, and I thought I would offer an account of one who has experienced this issue on BOTH sides. Both the VICTIM and the PERPETRATOR were two people I love.
WoW. Thanks for sharing that. You've given me something to think about.
-
Under13,
If you had read the story, you wouldn't have posted that silly picture at the most inopportune, inappropriate moment possible. With all due respect, you really do need to grow up. Your immaturity is a nuisance at times, and downright offensive at others.
Loopy,
Thank you SO much for sharing that. I'm just about speechless. Your story is such a valuable contribution to this discussion. I'm grateful that the Lord brought you and your family through that, and I'm excited that He is glorified by your family's healing and your parents' reconciliation. What a testament to the power of God and His love.
-
Under13,
If you had read the story, you wouldn't have posted that silly picture at the most inopportune, inappropriate moment possible. With all due respect, you really do need to grow up. Your immaturity is a nuisance at times, and downright offensive at others.
Loopy,
Thank you SO much for sharing that. I'm just about speechless. Your story is such a valuable contribution to this discussion. I'm grateful that the Lord brought you and your family through that, and I'm excited that He is glorified by your family's healing and your parents' reconciliation. What a testament to the power of God and His love.
Maybe a mod could delete it ?/?
-
Maybe a mod could delete it ?/?
Maybe u can delete it yourself. ;)
-
Loopy dawg...i don't know what to say. I don't know if i should be sad or happy. I have a mixture of both and it is some crazy emotion i don't think has a name yet. I guess i'm happy cuz it sounds like you guys have overcome. At the same time i am sad cuz of what your dad went through and your entire family. The part where you said he started crying just hit me. May God watch over you guys.
Your story is powerful, simply powerful!!! One mistake, one bloody mistake is all it takes. Its just amazing how people can turn on you, people you have known all your life. My dad is also going through stuff. He lost his business and everything he had and his "friends" all left him. Its so sad and i hate the way he now goes around with nothing, absolutely nothing...and yet ALL those people he helped have now turned their backs on him. He cannot even speak at family meetings cuz he is looked on as a failure.
If you don't mind, imma use your testimony as a point of contact to pray for him. If God can see you guys through all that, he can help my dad.
Maybe a mod could delete it ?/?
We all make mistakes man. Don't sweat it too much.
On a lighter note, my old room-mate used to have very loud sex and it offended me, so i suppose that makes her a sex-offender? :)
-
So much for comic relief.
On a lighter note, my old room-mate used to have very loud sex and it offended me, so i suppose that makes her a sex-offender? :)
You is crazy
We all make mistakes man. Don't sweat it too much.
You know I dont sweat the small stuff. Maybe thats a bad thing sometimes ?/?
Your story is powerful, simply powerful!!!
+1
Now I have to reevaluate my position on this matter
Maybe u can delete it yourself. ;)
I would, but by check might bounce
-
I'v been reading the responses in this thread, and I understand each point. However, I must say that SisterT has shown immense wisdom in her responses. I agree whole-heartly with EVERYTHING you said, SisterT, and I appreciate your transparency.
I'll be transparent as well, and I'll try to be as brief as possible. I have first-hand experience with this issue as my family has gone through this whole ordeal. Back in 1994, when I was 18 years old and a senior in high school, my father allowed my 9-year-old niece to touch him inappropriately. Two of my nieces were living with us at the time, and had been molested several times during their childhood, while they were living with her mother, which is why they were living with my parents (their paternal grandparents). That night, my father came to me in tears and told me he was a failure, and that he hoped I didn't grow to hate him. Of course I'm thinking "Where is this coming from?"! The next day, my father turned himself in to the authorities. My mother then informed me what had happened, and my world literally turned upside down.
I went from being a carefree high school college-bound honor roll kid, to a reclusive mess. How would YOU feel if your two-parent, loving household became a single-parent home overnight because of something so shameful? My grade point average went from 3.8 to a 1.9. My mother was so hurt by the whole thing, that she could not really be much help to me. The neighbors found out about what happened, and so did the members of our church. We never really talked about it with people, so many people were left to speculate about the actual details, and boy did I hear some outlandish stories!
Everyone in my family was hurt and devastated by this on so many levels. The amazing thing, though, is that we forgave my dad almost immediately. I can tell you that many different emotions beset me. I would be sad, then angry, then confused, but mostly sad. My family got through it. My brother (my niece's father) forgave my dad, as did their mother, and everyone involved. None of us wanted my dad to go to prison. Even though what he did was very wrong, and we agreed that he should have some kind of punishment, we thought he should be required to go to counseling, or put on probation. My dad had been a hard-working, law abiding family man for all his life. He had been on his job for 20 years, and had simply, in our view, made a terrible mistake. There was not a systematic, repeated act of child molestation.
My dad was appointed a public defender for his trial. I began seeing a special counselor at school during this whole ordeal. Eventually, my dad was sentenced to 10 years in prison. I was angry at the world. I was angry at the system, angry at my mom because I felt like she did not do enough. I knew people who had killed other people and didn't get 10 years in prison. There was no sodomy or penetration involved in the crime, and while that does NOT excuse what my father did, I just felt the sentence was too steep. Everyone that knew my dad and my family was devastated when the sentence was pronounced.
My father spent 6 years in prison. My parents reconciled their relationship. We went to visit him occasionally in prison. Even though I loved my dad dearly, I HATED visiting him in prison. I went so I could see my dad, and I didn't want him to feel bad, but I hated going to that prison and sitting there all day! He was a model prisoner, participated in the prison ministry, and was called "pop" by the other inmates, and they all respected him, which I thought was cool. I graduated from high school, and put off college to work full time to help my mom pay the bills. I worked two jobs. My dad had been making very good money on his job, and we no longer had that income.
My father was released from prison in 2000, and my whole family was happy. Part of his sentence was 8 years probation, 2 of which he had to wear an ankle bracelet at ALL times. About three weeks or so after his release, I noticed people passing out pamphlets outside. They placed one on each door in the neighborhood. When I looked at the one on our door, it had a big picture of my dad, with his name, his charges, his sentence, and it said he was a SEXUAL PREDATOR. When my dad saw the pamphlet, he started crying. I had never seen my father cry like that. He kept apologizing to me and my mom. There were a few people in the neighborhood who started acting like they were fearful. Fortunately, we lived in the predominately black "hood" that I grew up in, and people mostly lived and let live. Not to mention the fact that on the sex offender website there are about 3 listed on every street in our neighborhood! He wore that ankle bracelet for two years, and consistently reported to his probation officer. He went to his court ordered counseling sessions (which he was required to pay for out of his own pocket).
My nieces are all grown up and are beautiful young ladies. My oldest niece (the victim) has 2 children of her own, and they absolutely adore my father. They call him "paw". My parents renewed their vows for their 25th anniversary back in 2003. My dad is saved believer in Jesus CHrist. He will be 61 years old this coming Sunday, and is as hard working as he ever was. Myself, my mom, my dad, my two brothers, my nieces and nephews, my whole family have all mended our relationship and put the past behind us. I'm a junior in college now, studying to be a teacher.
...and my dad is on that website as a SEXUAL PREDATOR.
I have a different perspective now that I have personally dealt with this. I would imagine that I would be one of those who would say "I don't want those demons in my neighborhood" or "I would disown any family member of mine who was a sex offender." All I can say is that at my age I have learned not to judge any situation until you have walked a mile in someone else's shoes.
I believe parents definitely have a right to protect their children. There are indeed creeps out there who would victimize children, and indeed deserve to be punished to the full extent of the law. I am not a "sex-offender advocate" because of what happened in my family. I only wish that people would look at both sides of the issue before jumping to conclusions. The point is, it shouldn't take a website for you to watch and pray over your children, and for you to be cautious with your children.
What if all of our past (and current) indescretions were plastered for everyone to see? What if, even after you served your time, and paid your debt to society, you were forced to walk around with a label? I could understand maybe repeat offenders being closely monitored. I don't claim to have all the answeres. I'm just offering a perspective in this situation of someone who has been through this.
A few years ago when I was still living with my parents, I got a knock on the door. I opened the door and there was a reporter there with a microphone and a camera. "Mr.__________(my last name, which happens to be the same as my father's). I said "yes". He then began to ask me how I felt about the fact that congress was considering passing a law to make it mandatory that sex offenders wear tracking devices for the rest of their lives. I told him I thought it was a bit extreme. It then became clear to me that he thought I was my father. He asked me to go on camera and I declined.
Okay so much for brevity!! I'm sorry this post is so long-winded, and I basically almost told my life story! But this is not the first thread about this subject that has been on LGM, and I thought I would offer an account of one who has experienced this issue on BOTH sides. Both the VICTIM and the PERPETRATOR were two people I love.
Loop, all I can say is PRAISE GOD for bringing your family through; and thank you for sharing your testimony.
May God get the glory for your story and bless you beyond measure for your transparency.
-
I'v been reading the responses in this thread, and I understand each point. However, I must say that SisterT has shown immense wisdom in her responses. I agree whole-heartly with EVERYTHING you said, SisterT, and I appreciate your transparency.
Wow, I hesitated to post my story (it took a couple of post before I did), but now I'm really glad I did....thank ya very kindly.
What if all of our past (and current) indescretions were plastered for everyone to see? What if, even after you served your time, and paid your debt to society, you were forced to walk around with a label? I could understand maybe repeat offenders being closely monitored. I don't claim to have all the answeres. I'm just offering a perspective in this situation of someone who has been through this.
I applaud you for sharing such a heartfelt testimony. You are a man of great courage and strength. I was blessed reading ALL of it!
My husband has a friend who is on "the list". He admitted to inappropiately kissing an underaged girl. The girl admitted that the kiss was all that happened. Unfortunately he is labeled as a sex predator.
The website does list the charges brought against the individual, but it's very unfortunate that those charges doesn't show up on the opening page. You have to click on another lick to view the charges. Even after reading the charges, specifics are unclear. And how many people would actually read the charges...we'd sop at the fact that their pictire was on the site.
My husband's friend charges are listed as "Sexual Assualt- 3rd degree". With that description, most people would think he did a little more than kissing. This is another reason why I think the register is so unfair.
-
Thank you so much, LGM family for your words of encouragement and your prayers. I actually got emotional reading back my own post. Since I don't talk much about my personal life, I didn't realize how much of a testimony it was. I used to think I didn't really have much of a testimony, but I now realize that God has been so good to me and my family, and has really kept us through some messed up stuff!
I applaud you for sharing such a heartfelt testimony. You are a man of great courage and strength. I was blessed reading ALL of it!
MommaT I don't feel worthy of those words, but I thank you nonetheless. :)
If you don't mind, imma use your testimony as a point of contact to pray for him. If God can see you guys through all that, he can help my dad.
Brotha, I don't mind at all. I'm just getting kinda full because I never realized that my testimony could bless others. I realize now more than ever that God can get the glory out of the darkest situation. I know we hear that all the time, but I can see now that it's true.
Let's pray for victims and families everywhere, and just continue to thank God for the grace, mercy and forgiveness He showed us through His son Jesus Christ.
-
FYI - Dr. Phil is doing a show tomorrow ("Sex Offenders Next Door") on sex offenders and whether residents should be able to force them out of their neighborhoods.
http://www.drphil.com
-
FYI - Dr. Phil is doing a show tomorrow ("Sex Offenders Next Door") on sex offenders and whether residents should be able to force them out of their neighborhoods.
[url]http://www.drphil.com[/url]
Thanks for the info, I'm gonna try to record it, as I'll be at work.
Where do people expect sex offenders to live? What I think it boils down to is compartmentalizing all sex offenders into lower income, often black communties. There is a community on Long Island, where there are over 45 offenders in one small town and 17 on one block alone.
I still am not sure how I feel about this issue, But I dont think that all crimes should be punished with the same sentence. I dont think kissing a minor is anywhere as bad as sodomizing someone; the cases should be dealt with differentley. I also think they should be taken off the list after a certain number of years, depending on the crime
But maybe the severe punishments will make people think twice before they decide to ruin someones life.
I also think that we have to look at our own friends and family members, who are probaly more like to abuse a child, than a stranger.
Thanks again Loopy for sharing your story. I know that wasn't easy.