LearnGospelMusic.com Community

Main => Gospel Music Lounge => Topic started by: chevonee on March 07, 2008, 09:07:53 AM

Title: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: chevonee on March 07, 2008, 09:07:53 AM
the fire burning? You guys its a dawg gone shame but around here in central Georgia, subjects like this are forbidden. But we continue to find that more and more married Christians are splitting apart because they were unable to keep their love alive and passionate. They are seeking that love in other places instead of with their spouse. So I want to know especially from those of you who have been married for more than 10 years...how have you been able to keep you relationship fresh, alive and passionate. If this has already been discussed plea (int) forgive mayeee (int) ;D


For example do you try to go on a romantic gettaway every ______
Do you step outside the normal box and try new things_____ [Lawd Jesus I hope this don't get locked..cause I aint tryin to do nuffin wrong] :-[ :-[



NOTE: I don't want you to talk about what you do in the bed room because I don't want this thread locked...I am just honestly asking this question so that we younger married folks can learn from those who have already been where we're trying to go. OK? I hope this doesn't offend anyone either...I just need help.
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: under13 on March 07, 2008, 09:20:35 AM
(http://i267.photobucket.com/albums/ii314/Jlaws318/yougongetbanned.gif)

I honestly dont think there is an effective way to talk about this, w/o being explicit. Well I'm only 13 years old so I'ma stay out grown folk bidness

(http://i267.photobucket.com/albums/ii314/Jlaws318/walking2.gif)
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: nessalynn77 on March 07, 2008, 09:26:27 AM
([url]http://i267.photobucket.com/albums/ii314/Jlaws318/yougongetbanned.gif[/url])

I honestly dont think there is an effective way to talk about this, w/o being explicit. Well I'm only 13 years old so I'ma stay out grown folk bidness

([url]http://i267.photobucket.com/albums/ii314/Jlaws318/walking2.gif[/url])
Scuze me, Vonne.  U13 You know good and doggone well you ain't seen 13 in quite a few, stop frontin'!

Okay, Vonne, you may proceed.  I think grown folks who've been married more than 10 years can keep it clean...
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: keptbyJesus on March 07, 2008, 09:33:04 AM
Scuze me, Vonne.  U13 You know good and doggone well you ain't seen 13 in quite a few, stop frontin'!

Okay, Vonne, you may proceed.  I think grown folks who've been married more than 10 years can keep it clean...


SOME!  We know how Sis. 2:17 I mean Sis. T can get.  ;) lol


Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: LaylaMonroe on March 07, 2008, 09:34:59 AM
Back in my day (LOL), we made it a point to go on a date once a week.  When money was tight, we'd do a cheap date, like going to the park, going to a dessert shop to have coffee and dessert, or whatever.

Another MUST DO in my book was going on an out-of-town weekend trip every month.  If finances don't allow, you should definitely try to take one every few months.  We found a great B&B in the mountains about 90 minutes away that was only $75/night off season, so for the weekend, we'd spend $150 for lodging, maybe $30 in gas, and our pocket money budget would depend on how we were doing financially.  One time we went and were pretty broke, so we just "stayed in" most of the weekend.... which was fine by us.  ;) ;D  All in all, the trip could cost us as little as $200, if need be.  That's pretty cheap for a weekend trip for 2.  And it works wonders (especially if you're in the mountains and your cell phones don't work).

Another thing you can do is commit to sharing at least ONE meal together every day, and once in a while, do something special.  Either get all dressed and stuff, light some candles, play some music, cook his/her favorite meal whatever...

Another thing we did was "3 Things" every single night before we prayed together.  We would each tell the other 3 of the things we love about the other, and the rule was, even if we were tired, annoyed, or whatever, we still had to do it.  No matter what.  Then, on Wednesdays, we'd add "1 Thing to Work On."

Flirt a lot.  Via phone, text, e-mail, leaving notes around the house, whatever...

Keeping it fresh means doing things you don't normally do.  So, once in a while, do something you don't normally do, whatever that might be.

Communicate daily.  Ask him what HE thinks you could do to keep it fresh...

For now, that's the best I can give you without getting PG-13.
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: Redy2bUsed on March 07, 2008, 09:39:03 AM
Our two year anniversary is March 26th.
Thank you Lord....
We're still good....

*sits down, pulls out pen and pad*

I'm sure I'll need this info
later on down the line.
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: Big T. on March 07, 2008, 09:39:16 AM
The most important thing to remember is that as time goes by, our needs and tastes and desires can change. This is why it is so important to communicate with each other. By doing so and tapping into what the other is saying, you can do those things that the other enjoys and also the things that you both can enjoy together. That's how you keep it fresh and hot. 8) 8) 8)
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: funkStrat_97 on March 07, 2008, 09:43:25 AM
the fire burning? You guys its a dawg gone shame but around here in central Georgia, subjects like this are forbidden. But we continue to find that more and more married Christians are splitting apart because they were unable to keep their love alive and passionate. They are seeking that love in other places instead of with their spouse. So I want to know especially from those of you who have been married for more than 10 years...how have you been able to keep you relationship fresh, alive and passionate. If this has already been discussed plea (int) forgive mayeee (int) ;D


For example do you try to go on a romantic gettaway every ______
Do you step outside the normal box and try new things_____ [Lawd Jesus I hope this don't get locked..cause I aint tryin to do nuffin wrong] :-[ :-[



NOTE: I don't want you to talk about what you do in the bed room because I don't want this thread locked...I am just honestly asking this question so that we younger married folks can learn from those who have already been where we're trying to go. OK? I hope this doesn't offend anyone either...I just need help.

Send the kids to Gramma's for the weekend...then you'll have the house all to yourselves ;D. 
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: under13 on March 07, 2008, 09:46:30 AM
The most important thing to remember is that as time goes by, our needs and tastes and desires can change. This is why it is so important to communicate with each other. By doing so and tapping into what the other is saying, you can do those things that the other enjoys and also the things that you both can enjoy together. That's how you keep it fresh and hot. 8) 8) 8)

I think that is the key. Young people who arent married, have no problem telling thier partners what they want and how they want it, So why do so many married folks settle for something that isnt satisfying for them. And  agree with the others, yall gotta do stuff togather, It seems like when some folks get married all the fun stops.
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: Redy2bUsed on March 07, 2008, 09:49:06 AM
The most important thing to remember is that as time goes by, our needs and tastes and desires can change. This is why it is so important to communicate with each other. By doing so and tapping into what the other is saying, you can do those things that the other enjoys and also the things that you both can enjoy together. That's how you keep it fresh and hot. 8) 8) 8)

*in best Braxton voice....one finger in the air*

Aaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!!
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: nessalynn77 on March 07, 2008, 09:50:51 AM
I think that is the key. Young people who arent married, have no problem telling thier partners what they want and how they want it, So why do so many married folks settle for something that isnt satisfying for them. And  agree with the others, yall gotta do stuff togather, It seems like when some folks get married all the fun stops.
ummm.... how long you been married? LOL
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: LaylaMonroe on March 07, 2008, 09:51:40 AM
ummm.... how long you been married? LOL

ROFL  :D :D :D
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: sjonathan02 on March 07, 2008, 09:54:04 AM
I think that is the key. Young people who arent married, have no problem telling thier partners what they want and how they want it, So why do so many married folks settle for something that isnt satisfying for them. And  agree with the others, yall gotta do stuff togather, It seems like when some folks get married all the fun stops.


ummm.... how long you been married? LOL


INDEED!! ::)
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: under13 on March 07, 2008, 09:55:43 AM
ummm.... how long you been married? LOL

Well I do have a few close friends and mentors who are married.





Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: sjonathan02 on March 07, 2008, 09:59:11 AM
Well I do have a few close friends and mentors who are married.

As the song goes, "ain't nothin' like the REAL thing, baby".
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: LyricTenor on March 07, 2008, 10:01:37 AM
*in best Braxton voice....one finger in the air*

Aaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!!

Well played!!   :D :D :D :D :D :D
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: SisterT on March 07, 2008, 10:13:13 AM
So I want to know especially from those of you who have been married for more than 10 years...how have you been able to keep you relationship fresh, alive and passionate.

The only way to keep the marriage fresh, alive and passionate is by placing yourself on the altar everyday. In other words, you got to sacrifice your own selfish desires and GIVE. Love is all about giving.

The way I take care of Big Daddy is by seeking to meet his needs. I ask him everyday "What can I do to make your day. I take care of him because I WANT to. Even though I do this without seeking anything in return, I do reap benefits from my sowing. He takes note of my needs and meet them. In other words, I seek to meet his needs without expecting anything in return and he seeks to meet my needs without expecting anything in return. Regardless of what the other do, we each do our part.

We are each givers in our relationship, therefore our marriage continues to be fresh, alive and passionate. Being givers yeilds good communication, intimacy and great sex! Great sex doesn't make for a good marriage, but a good marriage makes for great sex!

Bottom line, no one in a marriage can have the attitude of  "What have he/she done for me lately?"
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: LyricTenor on March 07, 2008, 10:40:04 AM
The only way to keep the marriage fresh, alive and passionate is by placing yourself on the altar everyday. In other words, you got to sacrifice your own selfish desires and GIVE. Love is all about giving.

The way I take care of Big Daddy is by seeking to meet his needs. I ask him everyday "What can I do to make your day. I take care of him because I WANT to. Even though I do this without seeking anything in return, I do reap benefits from my sowing. He takes note of my needs and meet them. In other words, I seek to meet his needs without expecting anything in return and he seeks to meet my needs without expecting anything in return. Regardless of what the other do, we each do our part.

We are each givers in our relationship, therefore our marriage continues to be fresh, alive and passionate. Being givers yeilds good communication, intimacy and great sex! Great sex doesn't make for a good marriage, but a good marriage makes for great sex!

Bottom line, no one in a marriage can have the attitude of  "What have he/she done for me lately?"

I was almost scurred to see what PinkPanther T had posted.   :D :D :D :D

Good Food, madam, Good Food.
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: Redy2bUsed on March 07, 2008, 10:42:08 AM
Well played!!   :D :D :D :D :D :D

Fam!!!!
Is that you in the pic?????

I considered you "The Gooch" of LGM until now....
(Stand up Different Strokes fans)
 :D :D :D :D :D

I knew you existed....
But I never saw you... :D


Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: LaylaMonroe on March 07, 2008, 10:44:02 AM
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh MANNNN!!!!!  NOT THE GOOCH!!!!

 :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D


**standing up to rep the Diff'rent Strokes fans**
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: LyricTenor on March 07, 2008, 10:47:23 AM
Fam!!!!
Is that you in the pic?????

I considered you "The Gooch" of LGM until now....
(Stand up Different Strokes fans)
 :D :D :D :D :D

I knew you existed....
But I never saw you... :D




Yeah, it's the Lyrical One in the (cyber) flesh.   :D :D :D :D

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh MANNNN!!!!!  NOT THE GOOCH!!!!
 :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D


**standing up to rep the Diff'rent Strokes fans**

What she said.   :D :D :D :D
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: Redy2bUsed on March 07, 2008, 10:57:13 AM
Yeah, it's the Lyrical One in the (cyber) flesh.   :D :D :D :D

What she said.   :D :D :D :D

Well....Since my homie did it...
I may have to come out of
the Witness Protection Program myself..... :D
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: LaylaMonroe on March 07, 2008, 11:02:40 AM
Well....Since my homie did it...
I may have to come out of
the Witness Protection Program myself..... :D

For real though...  ::)

Some of us miss your smile!  :-\  (Not me, though... just saying some of us do.... LOL)  :D :D
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: LyricTenor on March 07, 2008, 11:04:03 AM
Well....Since my homie did it...
I may have to come out of
the Witness Protection Program myself..... :D

Yeah, g'head and brang those Arsenio gums outta retirement.   :D :D :D :D

Ya know I had to get'cha for that Gooch cracc.
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: Redy2bUsed on March 07, 2008, 11:07:03 AM
For real though...  ::)

Some of us miss your smile!  :-\  (Not me, though... just saying some of us do.... LOL)  :D :D

Nooo...Never you. ::)
Well since its not you....
I'll do it for the OTHER beautiful young lady
I met and had breakfast with in Atlanta
AT IHOP on the morning of January 27, 2008. ;)
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: Redy2bUsed on March 07, 2008, 11:10:16 AM
Yeah, g'head and brang those Arsenio gums outta retirement.   :D :D :D :D

Ya know I had to get'cha for that Gooch cracc.

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!!
*cough*
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!!
*choke*
*choke*
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!!!
 :D :D :D :D :D :D

Arsenio gums???????

Cuz...that was totally uncalled for. :D :D
You gotta warn me before you
decide to say stuff like that!!
I could've been in church having communion???
 :D :D
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: LaylaMonroe on March 07, 2008, 11:11:12 AM
Nooo...Never you. ::)
Well since its not you....
I'll do it for the OTHER beautiful young lady
I met and had breakfast with in Atlanta
AT IHOP on the morning of January 27, 2008. ;)

YOU HAD BREAKFAST WITH SOME OTHER CHICK ON MYYYYYY TURF??????  OH HECCCKKKKKKK NAW... LEMME TELL YOU SOMETH **lightbulb flashes on**


Oh wait... you talkin 'bout me?   :D :D :D  Oops... *giggle*

Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: LyricTenor on March 07, 2008, 11:13:00 AM
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!!
*cough*
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!!
*choke*
*choke*
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!!!
 :D :D :D :D :D :D

Arsenio gums???????

Cuz...that was totally uncalled for. :D :D
You gotta warn me before you
decide to say stuff like that!!
I could've been in church having communion???
 :D :D

WHAT 'ligion has communion @ noon on a FRIDAY?!   :D :D :D :D
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: sjonathan02 on March 07, 2008, 11:15:32 AM
Redy, seriously, The Gooch, man?!?!?



 :D :D :D :D
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: Redy2bUsed on March 07, 2008, 11:17:50 AM
YOU HAD BREAKFAST WITH SOME OTHER CHICK ON MYYYYYY TURF??????  OH HECCCKKKKKKK NAW... LEMME TELL YOU SOMETH **lightbulb flashes on**


Oh wait... you talkin 'bout me?   :D :D :D  Oops... *giggle*

*Redy just looks at LaRue...and says softly to himself*

Bless her Lord....

(Just like you say to yourself when
you see that "lil' daryl" type kid
in your church.....)
 :D :D :D

Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: Redy2bUsed on March 07, 2008, 11:18:32 AM
WHAT 'ligion has communion @ noon on a FRIDAY?!   :D :D :D :D

None that I know of.....
But thats not the point!!!
 :D :D :D
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: sjonathan02 on March 07, 2008, 11:19:36 AM
None that I know of.....
But thats not the point!!!
 :D :D :D

Yea, the point is you shouldn't be lookin' in on LGM while at chu'ch taking communion. ;)
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: Redy2bUsed on March 07, 2008, 11:24:59 AM
Yea, the point is you shouldn't be lookin' in on LGM while at chu'ch taking communion. ;)

Still not the point.....
The point is that
I coul.....Wait,

Actually that is the point. :-\

*walks away*
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: sjonathan02 on March 07, 2008, 11:26:09 AM
Still not the point.....
The point is that
I coul.....Wait,

Actually that is the point. :-\

*walks away*

 ;) 8)
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: NJTheBishopAnderson on March 07, 2008, 11:38:14 AM
WOW! The Friday insanity is on and poppin today huh?    :D :D
Y'all got me rollin in here.... communion fam??  :o

Sorry Vonne... this has been officially JACKED!!!  :D :D
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: Redy2bUsed on March 07, 2008, 11:47:05 AM
WOW! The Friday insanity is on and poppin today huh?    :D :D
Y'all got me rollin in here.... communion fam??  :o

Sorry Vonne... this has been officially JACKED!!!  :D :D

The point I was trying to make
before Sjon exposed me.... :D
Wuuzzz(int. for dramatic effect).....
I could've been anywhere....

And btw....
I don't have to be in church to have communion with God.
I commune with God everyday of the week.

Ya'll need to come up. :-\
 :D :D :D :D :D
J/K ya'll.
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: Fenix on March 07, 2008, 11:55:29 AM
Send the kids to Gramma's for the weekend...then you'll have the house all to yourselves ;D. 

I think she wants to know what to do AFTER the kids have left for grandma's house. I'm not married but i'm gonna say, be spontaneous and try something new everyday. I'm 23 and figure i have 4 or more years (give or take) to go before i get married. In the meantime i am preparing ways to keep things, shall we say, spicy.

Now imagine of you will me marrying in four years time and i have gotten down 4 years worth of notes on how to keep things...spic-ay...things are going to be interesting every single day. ;D ;D ;D 

Bottom line, i am keeping notes, drawing diagrams, GETTING PREPARED!!! When the time comes, i will have more than enough spic-ay materials.

WOW! The Friday insanity is on and poppin today huh?    :D :D
Y'all got me rollin in here.... communion fam??  :o

Sorry Vonne... this has been officially JACKED!!!
:D :D

Word 8)

Sister T and i are the only ones who added any useful input into this thread.
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: themidiroom on March 07, 2008, 11:55:50 AM
This thread has officially been hijacked.  Now back to our regularly scheduled hijackings.   ;D
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: LaylaMonroe on March 07, 2008, 12:00:30 PM
Sister T and i are the only ones who added any useful input into this thread.


Wow, is that right?
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: sjonathan02 on March 07, 2008, 12:04:49 PM
Wow, is that right?

Especially considering the fact that he's NOT married. ::)
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: Redy2bUsed on March 07, 2008, 12:04:57 PM
Wow, is that right?

Everyone....

RUN!!!!!!!!

 :D :D
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: Redy2bUsed on March 07, 2008, 12:06:26 PM
Especially considering the fact that he's NOT married. ::)

Not married????

And giving advice in a
"Married folks" thread???

I'm confused.

Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: Fenix on March 07, 2008, 12:26:53 PM
Wow, is that right?

I KNEW i should have added a smiley face to show that i am just kidding. My sense of humour tends to border on the cynical at times.
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: LaylaMonroe on March 07, 2008, 12:29:39 PM
I KNEW i should have added a smiley face to show that i am just kidding. My sense of humour tends to border on the cynical at times.

Naw, even with the smiley face I would've said the same thing... lol... you know, since I was among the first to answer the question and all....  :-\ :D :D :D
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: sjonathan02 on March 07, 2008, 12:38:26 PM
Not married????

And giving advice in a
"Married folks" thread???

I'm confused.

Obviously, so is the unmarried person trying to dispense marriage advice. ::) :D
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: funkStrat_97 on March 07, 2008, 12:49:37 PM
I think she wants to know what to do AFTER the kids have left for grandma's house.


Hmmm, well since we don't want to violate the terms and conditions of LGM, she might want pay a vist to The Marriage Bed (http://www.themarriagebed.com).  But even before sending the kids off to wherever, you have to do little things that eventually lead up to biger things.  It really seems like women want to be told that they are beautiful, that the are loved and appreciated.  Men just want to get....you know.  But the bottom line is that you must make your husband or wife a priority in your life.  Don't let your job, ministry, or even your precious children rob you of the opportunity to show your significant other what he or she truly means to you. 
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: LyricTenor on March 07, 2008, 01:17:59 PM
Hmmm, well since we don't want to violate the terms and conditions of LGM, she might want pay a vist to The Marriage Bed ([url]http://www.themarriagebed.com[/url]).  But even before sending the kids off to wherever, you have to do little things that eventually lead up to biger things.  It really seems like women want to be told that they are beautiful, that the are loved and appreciated.  Men just want to get....you know.  But the bottom line is that you must make your husband or wife a priority in your life.  Don't let your job, ministry, or even your precious children rob you of the opportunity to show your significant other what he or she truly means to you. 


This preacher I heard some years bacc called this "Makin' That Deposit".   :D :D
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: joshuag on March 07, 2008, 02:25:54 PM
The only way to keep the marriage fresh, alive and passionate is by placing yourself on the altar everyday. In other words, you got to sacrifice your own selfish desires and GIVE. Love is all about giving.

The way I take care of Big Daddy is by seeking to meet his needs. I ask him everyday "What can I do to make your day. I take care of him because I WANT to. Even though I do this without seeking anything in return, I do reap benefits from my sowing. He takes note of my needs and meet them. In other words, I seek to meet his needs without expecting anything in return and he seeks to meet my needs without expecting anything in return. Regardless of what the other do, we each do our part.

We are each givers in our relationship, therefore our marriage continues to be fresh, alive and passionate. Being givers yeilds good communication, intimacy and great sex! Great sex doesn't make for a good marriage, but a good marriage makes for great sex!

Bottom line, no one in a marriage can have the attitude of  "What have he/she done for me lately?"



I was going to say something like that sisT...
Here goes my 10 cents...
When your first get married your all happy go lucky.. for some people they think sex all the time...(just being honest) but as time goes on we have that moment after the honeymoon is over and we look at the other people and think to ourselves i have to wake up with this person for the rest of my life. They STOP doing the things that got you there. In a marriage it is 100 both ways. If both of you spend the time trying to please the other there in will always be passion and romance, fleshness. it is when we stop the problems come. Also if you both are making each other happy the debil cant and dont have room to mess with you. never forget why you fall in love with your wife or husband. There smile when you are down, those special words they say that just brightens your day.


Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: chevonee on March 07, 2008, 02:32:36 PM
Well played!!   :D :D :D :D :D :D
Look at MR LT!!!!!!!! ;D
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: chevonee on March 07, 2008, 02:35:10 PM
WOW! The Friday insanity is on and poppin today huh?    :D :D
Y'all got me rollin in here.... communion fam??  :o

Sorry Vonne... this has been officially JACKED!!!   :D :D
Tell me about it  ::) ::) ::) ::)
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: Fenix on March 07, 2008, 03:22:32 PM
Obviously, so is the unmarried person trying to dispense marriage advice. ::) :D

I am going to ask Under13 to teach me how to post pics. Once i learn, my vengeance will be sure and swift.  8)
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: uriahsmusic on March 07, 2008, 03:31:05 PM
..Chris Rock had it right....Ya dont need sparks!...the 3 S's  Sex, supper and silence does it for me!.....Take care of the basics and a cruise wont be needed!....dont make me ask for it either!
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: Fenix on March 07, 2008, 03:33:34 PM
  Men just want to get....you know.  But the bottom line is...THE BOTTOM

A man after my own heart. 8) 8) ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: chevonee on March 07, 2008, 04:15:40 PM
Hmmm, well since we don't want to violate the terms and conditions of LGM, she might want pay a vist to The Marriage Bed ([url]http://www.themarriagebed.com[/url]).  But even before sending the kids off to wherever, you have to do little things that eventually lead up to biger things.  It really seems like women want to be told that they are beautiful, that the are loved and appreciated.  Men just want to get....you know.  But the bottom line is that you must make your husband or wife a priority in your life.  Don't let your job, ministry, or even your precious children rob you of the opportunity to show your significant other what he or she truly means to you. 

This preacher I heard some years bacc called this "Makin' That Deposit".   :D :D

Now this is very good info right here!!!

Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: chevonee on March 07, 2008, 04:19:44 PM
The only way to keep the marriage fresh, alive and passionate is by placing yourself on the altar everyday. In other words, you got to sacrifice your own selfish desires and GIVE. Love is all about giving.

The way I take care of Big Daddy is by seeking to meet his needs. I ask him everyday "What can I do to make your day. I take care of him because I WANT to. Even though I do this without seeking anything in return, I do reap benefits from my sowing. He takes note of my needs and meet them. In other words, I seek to meet his needs without expecting anything in return and he seeks to meet my needs without expecting anything in return. Regardless of what the other do, we each do our part.

We are each givers in our relationship, therefore our marriage continues to be fresh, alive and passionate. Being givers yeilds good communication, intimacy and great sex! Great sex doesn't make for a good marriage, but a good marriage makes for great sex!

Bottom line, no one in a marriage can have the attitude of  "What have he/she done for me lately?"
This is the wisdom of a diva...thank you so much for your help. This is exactly what I was looking for. My husband and I are still newlyweds (6 years) and I want to keep it that way. So many CHRISTIAN homes are being destroyed over the little things that we sometimes omit for selfish reasons. We are concerned enough to want to do everything that we can to avoid the pitfalls that have been set up to destroy our marriages. 
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: LaylaMonroe on March 07, 2008, 04:28:33 PM
Hmmm, well since we don't want to violate the terms and conditions of LGM, she might want pay a vist to The Marriage Bed ([url]http://www.themarriagebed.com[/url]).  But even before sending the kids off to wherever, you have to do little things that eventually lead up to biger things.  It really seems like women want to be told that they are beautiful, that the are loved and appreciated.  Men just want to get....you know.  But the bottom line is that you must make your husband or wife a priority in your life.  Don't let your job, ministry, or even your precious children rob you of the opportunity to show your significant other what he or she truly means to you. 


I just took the opportunity to peruse that site.  Dude, that's some good stuff (even though I totally disagree with some of that stuff they said).  That's a great site, overall.  Thanks for sharing!
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: chevonee on March 07, 2008, 06:56:09 PM
..Chris Rock had it right....Ya dont need sparks!...the 3 S's  Sex, supper and silence does it for me!.....Take care of the basics and a cruise wont be needed!....dont make me ask for it either!
I hope this isn't your recipe for marital sucess...please tell me you're kidding ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::)
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: bigblackdrummer on March 07, 2008, 07:07:41 PM
Just be each others best friend no matter what! Im finding that there's no friendships anymore its just married and that's wrong. I honestly hate not having a best friend and just a wife! Friendship is way more important then sex! Fall in love with and marry your best friend!
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: chevonee on March 07, 2008, 08:27:32 PM
Just be each others best friend no matter what! Im finding that there's no friendships anymore its just married and that's wrong. I honestly hate not having a best friend and just a wife! Friendship is way more important then sex! Fall in love with and marry your best friend!
Sounds gr8 BBD!! Thank you for sharing this! God bless!!
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: uriahsmusic on March 07, 2008, 09:43:38 PM
I hope this isn't your recipe for marital sucess...please tell me you're kidding ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::)

....I am dead serious!....Unfortunately because most women dont believe what I just said...They wind up with straying hubbies!....If you take care of your men in those ways ...he will take care of you...or at least try!
Most men are like little pets...they dont need much...so while you are confusing your version of his needs with what he really needs....he is out subliminally looking for the basics to be fulfilled.....and all the time wondering why you dont get it!
.....Women need to read the book about men from Mars and women from Venus....(might be the other way around)....Just cuz you think my answer isnt Politically correct....or Sensitive enough for the modern woman doesn't mean it isnt dead on point....

.....Women...you want to keep your man....Treat him like the base animal that he is....get the Basics right...(ask grandma..she had it right!)...and the rest will follow!....Remember men are like little puppy dogs....feed em....rub their belly and dont yell at em....and he will obey!...get any of those wrong...and expect to get bit!
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: sjonathan02 on March 07, 2008, 11:10:07 PM
....I am dead serious!....Unfortunately because most women dont believe what I just said...They wind up with straying hubbies!....If you take care of your men in those ways ...he will take care of you...or at least try!
Most men are like little pets...they dont need much...so while you are confusing your version of his needs with what he really needs....he is out subliminally looking for the basics to be fulfilled.....and all the time wondering why you dont get it!
.....Women need to read the book about men from Mars and women from Venus....(might be the other way around)....Just cuz you think my answer isnt Politically correct....or Sensitive enough for the modern woman doesn't mean it isnt dead on point....

.....Women...you want to keep your man....Treat him like the base animal that he is....get the Basics right...(ask grandma..she had it right!)...and the rest will follow!....Remember men are like little puppy dogs....feed em....rub their belly and dont yell at em....and he will obey!...get any of those wrong...and expect to get bit!


(http://i131.photobucket.com/albums/p316/sjonathan02/asimpleno.gif?t=1204952940) ::)

It's gonna be so great when your posts include a version of the following phrase: "Well, this is what works for me." :-\

*smh*
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: elio on March 08, 2008, 02:51:20 AM
Quote
I hope this isn't your recipe for marital sucess...please tell me you're kidding  ::)  ::)  ::)  ::)  ::)  ::)

Vonne, uriah's got it right (at least for me).
I've been married 10 years and what I need is what Chris Rock said.
Nothing fancy, but when I come home I want rest. And I don't mean physical rest - I am quite happy to cook or wash the dishes. I mean emotional rest. Hearing what so-and-so did to her cousin's hairdresser's neighbor matters to me up to a certain point. I need Silence. Sex and Supper are more of the same, basic needs.
Give those to me and I'll do anything.

I make the same mistake in reverse, though. I think that by fulfilling my wife's basic needs she'll be ok like I am when she fulfills mine. That's not enough, though - but that's another story.

Well, this is what works for me.
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: nessalynn77 on March 08, 2008, 06:24:36 AM
The average man and the average woman are so vastly different.  IMO, it's a miracle when it works, really something special.  If you have it, do everything you can to keep it going, because I've found it's quite rare.
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: LaylaMonroe on March 08, 2008, 10:18:43 AM
The average man and the average woman are so vastly different.  IMO, it's a miracle when it works, really something special.  If you have it, do everything you can to keep it going, because I've found it's quite rare.


That's quite a gem, Nessa.

COSIGN.
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: uriahsmusic on March 08, 2008, 11:19:25 AM
The average man and the average woman are so vastly different.  IMO, it's a miracle when it works, really something special.  If you have it, do everything you can to keep it going, because I've found it's quite rare.

...They have always been different but up till the recent past, women were content with the notion that the man was the stronger vessel and that he was the head of the wife....now the rolls have reversed and women seek their own satisfaction and to lead the man. I think (outside of it being Biblical or not) the adjustment period that societies go through is disastrous for the institutions that are in place like marriage and family structure. But in the future I can see it working because men will have adapted and marriages will have no head. I dont even think women will bare children naturally.
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: LaylaMonroe on March 08, 2008, 12:19:52 PM
As much as I hate to say it, I don't really think Uriah and his cosigner are that far off...  :-\

I'm not crazy about the way he worded it, and I don't like the fact that he submits his personal experiences/opinions as facts that apply to everyone, but if you can get past the "bones" (as SJ would put it), what he's saying isn't really that absurd.  Many relationship experts and psychologists agree with him, too.  I've heard many experts generalize, saying that the average man simply wants love, food, respect, sex, and peace.  While women tend to want security, conversation, sex, compassion, attention, and all sorts of other things.  It has been said that what men want is tangible, what women want is the intangible.  Of course, this doesn't apply to ALL men or ALL women (and that, IMO, is where Uriah went wrong), but it is the case for a great many, according to relationship experts.

I especially agree with the notion that in the future, men will have adapted and marriages will have no head.  That has already begun now, as has the practice of women bearing children unnaturally.
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: chevonee on March 08, 2008, 04:14:31 PM
....I am dead serious!....Unfortunately because most women dont believe what I just said...They wind up with straying hubbies!....If you take care of your men in those ways ...he will take care of you...or at least try!
Most men are like little pets...they dont need much...so while you are confusing your version of his needs with what he really needs....he is out subliminally looking for the basics to be fulfilled.....and all the time wondering why you dont get it!
.....Women need to read the book about men from Mars and women from Venus....(might be the other way around)....Just cuz you think my answer isnt Politically correct....or Sensitive enough for the modern woman doesn't mean it isnt dead on point....

.....Women...you want to keep your man....Treat him like the base animal that he is....get the Basics right...(ask grandma..she had it right!)...and the rest will follow!....Remember men are like little puppy dogs....feed em....rub their belly and dont yell at em....and he will obey!...get any of those wrong...and expect to get bit!
If that's what you do in your marriage that's fine.....but to make a woman cook, have sex, and keep silent sounds like the dark ages to me. Why would a woman want to get married just to still be alone. Your man don't wanna talk to ya...he just wants you to slave...GIMME A BREAK!!! ::) ::)

Again, if that works for you and your cosigner..MO PAHBAH TO YALL but thank God that my husband allows me to be who I am....
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: blkerr1117 on March 08, 2008, 04:44:37 PM
Okay, I've been married 34 years.  It hasn't always been easy, in fact it's been pretty tough, and still is sometimes.  Luckily I'm kind of passive and she's very overpowering.  It's good to be different - especially in a marriage.

Some advice I've given my son-in-laws, as my daughters who are all head strong, just like their mother, is to learn that we are all totally different.  We can't always win every disagreement, we can't always have the last word, we have to be concerned about feelings and future.

Always listen with your heart, try to listen very little with your ears.  My wife says things that blow me away sometimes, but when we finally discuss the situation it's always "what I meant to say was" so now I try to listen with my heart to her heart - not how it's coming out of her mouth.

I can't tell you how she's put up with me over the years, but I know she's had quite a difficult task - although I think I'm an OK kinda guy I know I have failures, bad habits and an overall lack of concern in alot of areas.

Always remember that even though the grass may look greener on the other side, that eventually it will dry up, turn brown and wither away.

I find it much easier to work on what I have, both of us knowing our short comings, than trying to start over again.
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: elio on March 08, 2008, 04:47:40 PM
If that's what you do in your marriage that's fine.....but to make a woman cook, have sex, and keep silent sounds like the dark ages to me.

That's not quite what I meant, and I apologize if it came over that way.
What I did mean was that the things that I crave are, as LaRue eloquently puts it, "tangible"; the things that my wife craves are "intangible".
My wife is a strong, independent, confident woman, she speaks her mind whenever she wants to, and we share the responsibilities of raising a young family - we're nowhere near the dark ages - the picture that the sentence above paints does not quite apply to us.
That, however, does not negate the fact that my needs in my own relationship might be of the more "basic" and "material" variety....  ;D
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: LaylaMonroe on March 08, 2008, 06:57:59 PM
Okay, I've been married 34 years.  It hasn't always been easy, in fact it's been pretty tough, and still is sometimes.  Luckily I'm kind of passive and she's very overpowering.  It's good to be different - especially in a marriage.

Some advice I've given my son-in-laws, as my daughters who are all head strong, just like their mother, is to learn that we are all totally different.  We can't always win every disagreement, we can't always have the last word, we have to be concerned about feelings and future.

Always listen with your heart, try to listen very little with your ears.  My wife says things that blow me away sometimes, but when we finally discuss the situation it's always "what I meant to say was" so now I try to listen with my heart to her heart - not how it's coming out of her mouth.

I can't tell you how she's put up with me over the years, but I know she's had quite a difficult task - although I think I'm an OK kinda guy I know I have failures, bad habits and an overall lack of concern in alot of areas.

Always remember that even though the grass may look greener on the other side, that eventually it will dry up, turn brown and wither away.

I find it much easier to work on what I have, both of us knowing our short comings, than trying to start over again.

That was a blessing, especially the part in bold.  Thanks so much for sharing your experience, and kudos to you for 34 years!!!!  ;D
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: chevonee on March 08, 2008, 08:02:35 PM
Okay, I've been married 34 years.  It hasn't always been easy, in fact it's been pretty tough, and still is sometimes.  Luckily I'm kind of passive and she's very overpowering.  It's good to be different - especially in a marriage.

Some advice I've given my son-in-laws, as my daughters who are all head strong, just like their mother, is to learn that we are all totally different.  We can't always win every disagreement, we can't always have the last word, we have to be concerned about feelings and future.

Always listen with your heart, try to listen very little with your ears.  My wife says things that blow me away sometimes, but when we finally discuss the situation it's always "what I meant to say was" so now I try to listen with my heart to her heart - not how it's coming out of her mouth.

I can't tell you how she's put up with me over the years, but I know she's had quite a difficult task - although I think I'm an OK kinda guy I know I have failures, bad habits and an overall lack of concern in alot of areas.

Always remember that even though the grass may look greener on the other side, that eventually it will dry up, turn brown and wither away.

I find it much easier to work on what I have, both of us knowing our short comings, than trying to start over again.
YOU ARE MY HERO!!! It is so refreshing to hear from a person who's already been where we're trying to go. 34 years???? WOW!!! :o :o :o :o :o What a mighty God we serve. God bless you Sir and may your marriage be blessed and everything else. Thank you so so so much!!
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: uriahsmusic on March 08, 2008, 09:30:24 PM
If that's what you do in your marriage that's fine.....but to make a woman cook, have sex, and keep silent sounds like the dark ages to me. Why would a woman want to get married just to still be alone. Your man don't wanna talk to ya...he just wants you to slave...GIMME A BREAK!!! ::) ::)

Again, if that works for you and your cosigner..MO PAHBAH TO YALL but thank God that my husband allows me to be who I am....

....no one wants the woman to be silent...but the endless yapping and nagging and pushing and required listening..is just intolerable!...
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: sjonathan02 on March 08, 2008, 09:48:27 PM
....no one wants the woman to be silent...but the endless yapping and nagging and pushing and required listening..is just intolerable!...


Then tell YOUR wife to stop. And, STOP assuming that other men's wives do that. ::)

I present for YOUR viewing pleasure, Exhibit A:

Okay, I've been married 34 years.  It hasn't always been easy, in fact it's been pretty tough, and still is sometimes.  Luckily I'm kind of passive and she's very overpowering.  It's good to be different - especially in a marriage.

Some advice I've given my son-in-laws, as my daughters who are all head strong, just like their mother, is to learn that we are all totally different.  We can't always win every disagreement, we can't always have the last word, we have to be concerned about feelings and future.

Always listen with your heart, try to listen very little with your ears.  My wife says things that blow me away sometimes, but when we finally discuss the situation it's always "what I meant to say was" so now I try to listen with my heart to her heart - not how it's coming out of her mouth.

I can't tell you how she's put up with me over the years, but I know she's had quite a difficult task - although I think I'm an OK kinda guy I know I have failures, bad habits and an overall lack of concern in alot of areas.

Always remember that even though the grass may look greener on the other side, that eventually it will dry up, turn brown and wither away.

I find it much easier to work on what I have, both of us knowing our short comings, than trying to start over again.


For the part in bold:

(http://i131.photobucket.com/albums/p316/sjonathan02/BLACKSIMPSONSHABBA.jpg?t=1205034492)
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: chevonee on March 08, 2008, 10:11:42 PM
Then tell YOUR wife to stop. And, STOP assuming that other men's wives do that. ::)

I present for YOUR viewing pleasure, Exhibit A:

For the part in bold:

([url]http://i131.photobucket.com/albums/p316/sjonathan02/BLACKSIMPSONSHABBA.jpg?t=1205034492[/url])

AMEN SJON....AAAaaaaaaaaaaamen!!!!!!





....no one wants the woman to be silent...but the endless yapping and nagging and pushing and required listening..is just intolerable!...

No one wants a man to yap and nag either my friend. Either way, marriage is a two-sided thing...both parties must respect each other PERIOD! No need to fight over whether its a man or woman, the only thing we need to know is what God says. Marriages are ruined everyday because the woman wants to take the womans side and the man wants to take the mans side. There should be only one side.... GOD'S SIDE!!!
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: Veign on March 09, 2008, 12:40:33 AM
bah, why would anyone want to get married? crazy peeps yo
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: nessalynn77 on March 09, 2008, 01:06:59 AM
bah, why would anyone want to get married? crazy peeps yo
LOL!!! This had me dyin'!

I could just see you sittin' on that piano talkin' bout, "long as I got my music, who needs marriage?"  LOL!!
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: uriahsmusic on March 09, 2008, 10:17:54 AM
AMEN SJON....AAAaaaaaaaaaaamen!!!!!!




No one wants a man to yap and nag either my friend. Either way, marriage is a two-sided thing...both parties must respect each other PERIOD! No need to fight over whether its a man or woman, the only thing we need to know is what God says. Marriages are ruined everyday because the woman wants to take the womans side and the man wants to take the mans side. There should be only one side.... GOD'S SIDE!!!

..Say what you will...I speak from many mens points of view!...I have had the opportunity to interview many men who wanted advice and I stick by what I say.....and that Gods Way remark should be taken with care because it is the departure from Gods way that has put marriage where it is today!...

Gods way doesnt allow women the right to be the head of her husband or even equal!...Marriage is NOT equality....it is a lovely notion...but God set the order and obviously TODAY we dispute it!....Those societies that take heed to GODS order in Marriage dont have this ridiculous divorce rate!

....So statements like GODS WAY should not be stated lightly!.....Maybe it would be nice if you stated what you mean by Gods way!!!....then Match it up against the WORD!
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: ~aLl_Gr0wN_uP~ on March 09, 2008, 05:01:18 PM
NOTE: I don't want you to talk about what you do in the bed room...


(http://th35.photobucket.com/albums/d174/CandaceHelix90/th_penguin.gif)
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: chevonee on March 09, 2008, 06:09:15 PM
..Say what you will...I speak from many mens points of view!...I have had the opportunity to interview many men who wanted advice and I stick by what I say.....and that Gods Way remark should be taken with care because it is the departure from Gods way that has put marriage where it is today!...

Gods way doesnt allow women the right to be the head of her husband or even equal!...Marriage is NOT equality....it is a lovely notion...but God set the order and obviously TODAY we dispute it!....Those societies that take heed to GODS order in Marriage dont have this ridiculous divorce rate!

....So statements like GODS WAY should not be stated lightly!.....Maybe it would be nice if you stated what you mean by Gods way!!!....then Match it up against the WORD!

Ain't no harm done man....do you really think that I'm going to get in a back and forth with you about what you do or don't know? Of course not, I don't question what you know and who you've spoken to. If what I said offended you then I'm sorry. That's all I'll say because we've already misunderstood each other enough. I'm sorry...forgive me.
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: uriahsmusic on March 09, 2008, 07:29:20 PM
Ain't no harm done man....do you really think that I'm going to get in a back and forth with you about what you do or don't know? Of course not, I don't question what you know and who you've spoken to. If what I said offended you then I'm sorry. That's all I'll say because we've already misunderstood each other enough. I'm sorry...forgive me.

...I aint mad at ya!...I just get coo-coo when people say GODS WAY and the scriptures arent right behind it!...There is this dude...oops...Preacher on TV  that always shoves Gods Way down your throat as if his scripture is the only one in the word!....and then Gods Way never interferes with his walk...only yours!...Makes me fume!
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: chevonee on March 09, 2008, 08:17:58 PM
...I aint mad at ya!...I just get coo-coo when people say GODS WAY and the scriptures arent right behind it!...There is this dude...oops...Preacher on TV  that always shoves Gods Way down your throat as if his scripture is the only one in the word!....and then Gods Way never interferes with his walk...only yours!...Makes me fume!
I gotcha...LOUD AND CLEAR ;)

These are the scriptures that my husband and I study on a daily basis.. Ephesians 5:21-33 (Amplified version)

21 Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One).

22 Wives, be subject (be submissive and adapt yourselves) to your own husbands as [a service] to the Lord.

23 For the husband is head of the wife as Christ is the Head of the church, Himself the Savior of [His] body.

24 As the church is subject to Christ, so let wives also be subject in everything to their husbands.

25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her,

26 So that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the Word,

27 That He might present the church to Himself in glorious splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such things [that she might be holy and faultless].

28 Even so husbands should love their wives as [being in a sense] their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself.

29 For no man ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and carefully protects and cherishes it, as Christ does the church,

30 Because we are members (parts) of His body.

31 For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.(D)

32 This mystery is very great, but I speak concerning [the relation of] Christ and the church.

33 However, let each man of you [without exception] love his wife as [being in a sense] his very own self; and let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband [[f]that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates, and esteems him; and [g]that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly]. [I Pet. 3:2.]


Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: Redy2bUsed on March 10, 2008, 08:04:23 AM
I've been away from this thread for a few days...
And I've read some posts....
Some I agree with....And some I don't...
But I will say this....
I was reading some of the views on the woman's role.
And how they should treat the husband.
I'll say this....
and this is only in some cases.

I think that SOME women....(Ladies of LGM don't kill me)
Emphasis on SOME....
They have forgotten the old way.
They have gotten so caught up in this modern way of thinking,
that they've forgotten how to be a good wife.
There's nothing wrong with being strong,
and having a career....and holding your own.

But never forget that you are a WIFE.
and that comes before anything, and everything.
I hear so many women say....
that grandma's way of being a wife doesn't work today.
But I think it works fine, if you know what a wife SHOULD be.

And being a wife does NOT mean you have to be a slave.
And a GOOD, God fearing man wouldn't want his wife to be a slave.

He just wants his wife to be willing to do anything for him.
Simply because that husband is willing to do ANYTHING for
his wife, to keep her happy.

A wife should know her place....
and before ya'll flip out on Ya man REDY.
A wife knowing her place...doesn't mean anything bad.
Because a husband should know his place also.
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: sjonathan02 on March 10, 2008, 08:10:48 AM
I've been away from this thread for a few days...
And I've read some posts....
Some I agree with....And some I don't...
But I will say this....
I was reading some of the views on the woman's role.
And how they should treat the husband.
I'll say this....
and this is only in some cases.

I think that SOME women....(Ladies of LGM don't kill me)
Emphasis on SOME....
They have forgotten the old way.
They have gotten so caught up in this modern way of thinking,
that they've forgotten how to be a good wife.
There's nothing wrong with being strong,
and having a career....and holding your own.

But never forget that you are a WIFE.
and that comes before anything, and everything.
I hear so many women say....
that grandma's way of being a wife doesn't work today.
But I think it works fine, if you know what a wife SHOULD be.

And being a wife does NOT mean you have to be a slave.
And a GOOD, God fearing man wouldn't want his wife to be a slave.

He just wants his wife to be willing to do anything for him.
Simply because that husband is willing to do ANYTHING for
his wife, to keep her happy.

A wife should know her place....
and before ya'll flip out on Ya man REDY.
A wife knowing her place...doesn't mean anything bad.
Because a husband should know his place also.

mmmmm....BEEFY!! 8)
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: Redy2bUsed on March 10, 2008, 08:30:18 AM
mmmmm....BEEFY!! 8)

Yeah man....
But I got a feeling that somebody's
gonna string me up
on this one for sure.. :-\
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: sjonathan02 on March 10, 2008, 08:34:16 AM
Yeah man....
But I got a feeling that somebody's
gonna string me up
on this one for sure.. :-\

Why? It speaks to husband and wives submitting TO ONE ANOTHER. A factor that a LOT of couples miss too many times, sadly. :-\
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: Redy2bUsed on March 10, 2008, 08:38:01 AM
Why? It speaks to husband and wives submitting TO ONE ANOTHER. A factor that a LOT of couples miss too many times, sadly. :-\

Exactly....
I hope everyone else got that. :-\
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: sjonathan02 on March 10, 2008, 09:00:11 AM
Exactly....
I hope everyone else got that. :-\


I'm sure they did, bruhman. ;)
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: LaylaMonroe on March 10, 2008, 09:21:59 AM
Why? It speaks to husband and wives submitting TO ONE ANOTHER. A factor that a LOT of couples miss too many times, sadly. :-\

Well...... actually, a husband shouldn't be submitting to his wife, a husband should be submitting to his Lord.  Biblically speaking, that is.

I've been away from this thread for a few days...
And I've read some posts....
Some I agree with....And some I don't...
But I will say this....
I was reading some of the views on the woman's role.
And how they should treat the husband.
I'll say this....
and this is only in some cases.

I think that SOME women....(Ladies of LGM don't kill me)
Emphasis on SOME....
They have forgotten the old way.
They have gotten so caught up in this modern way of thinking,
that they've forgotten how to be a good wife.
There's nothing wrong with being strong,
and having a career....and holding your own.

But never forget that you are a WIFE.
and that comes before anything, and everything.
I hear so many women say....
that grandma's way of being a wife doesn't work today.
But I think it works fine, if you know what a wife SHOULD be.

And being a wife does NOT mean you have to be a slave.
And a GOOD, God fearing man wouldn't want his wife to be a slave.


He just wants his wife to be willing to do anything for him.
Simply because that husband is willing to do ANYTHING for
his wife, to keep her happy.

A wife should know her place....
and before ya'll flip out on Ya man REDY.
A wife knowing her place...doesn't mean anything bad.
Because a husband should know his place also.


You get a TOTAL COSIGN from me, with a wave of the hankie on the part in red/bold.

Very good stuff, Redy.  You gets no fuss from ya sista!!!

The bottom line (if I may reiterate what you've already said so perfectly) is that God's order is that the wife should submit to her husband, and her husband should submit to God.  This is the way God set up marriage, and if we heed to His plan for marriage, we'd be a lot more successful in our marriages. 

Uriah wasn't altogether wrong, he just didn't take the time (as usual) to make his posts sound appealing to the masses.  The truth of the matter is that while it appears to us that he wants his wife to sit down and shut up, as long as Uriah is submitting to God, he is going to give her EVERYTHING she needs - physically, spiritually, emotionally, mentally, sexually, naturally, and completely.
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: Redy2bUsed on March 10, 2008, 09:44:08 AM
Well...... actually, a husband shouldn't be submitting to his wife, a husband should be submitting to his Lord.  Biblically speaking, that is.

You get a TOTAL COSIGN from me, with a wave of the hankie on the part in red/bold.

Very good stuff, Redy.  You gets no fuss from ya sista!!!

The bottom line (if I may reiterate what you've already said so perfectly) is that God's order is that the wife should submit to her husband, and her husband should submit to God.  This is the way God set up marriage, and if we heed to His plan for marriage, we'd be a lot more successful in our marriages. 
Uriah wasn't altogether wrong, he just didn't take the time (as usual) to make his posts sound appealing to the masses.  The truth of the matter is that while it appears to us that he wants his wife to sit down and shut up, as long as Uriah is submitting to God, he is going to give her EVERYTHING she needs - physically, spiritually, emotionally, mentally, sexually, naturally, and completely.

I agree sis....

If you have a saved man...
He should be yielding to God's plan.
And as long as he's doing that,
He won't ask anything of his wife
that isn't in line with the word of God.

So if the wife has to take a submissive position.
That is in God's plan.
The problem is that some women hear "submissive",
and automatically think "servant".
Which brings about the "I ain't no slave" mentality. :D
And when women get that way....
You're out of the will of God.
But you're only a slave if your husband treats you that way.

But if you're Husband treats you as an equal.
Then you should honor him as YOUR head.

Don't look at me like that....
I'm in the Word. :D :D

Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: sjonathan02 on March 10, 2008, 09:47:26 AM
Well...... actually, a husband shouldn't be submitting to his wife, a husband should be submitting to his Lord.  Biblically speaking, that is.

You get a TOTAL COSIGN from me, with a wave of the hankie on the part in red/bold.

Very good stuff, Redy.  You gets no fuss from ya sista!!!

The bottom line (if I may reiterate what you've already said so perfectly) is that God's order is that the wife should submit to her husband, and her husband should submit to God.  This is the way God set up marriage, and if we heed to His plan for marriage, we'd be a lot more successful in our marriages. 

Uriah wasn't altogether wrong, he just didn't take the time (as usual) to make his posts sound appealing to the masses.  The truth of the matter is that while it appears to us that he wants his wife to sit down and shut up, as long as Uriah is submitting to God, he is going to give her EVERYTHING she needs - physically, spiritually, emotionally, mentally, sexually, naturally, and completely.

Got me on the technicality. ::) :D
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: sjonathan02 on March 10, 2008, 09:48:30 AM
I agree sis....

If you have a saved man...
He should be yielding to God's plan.
And as long as he's doing that,
He won't ask anything of his wife
that isn't in line with the word of God.

So if the wife has to take a submissive position.
That is in God's plan.
The problem is that some women hear "submissive",
and automatically think "servant".
Which brings about the "I ain't no slave" mentality. :D
And when women get that way....
You're out of the will of God.
But you're only a slave if your husband treats you that way.

But if you're Husband treats you as an equal.
Then you should honor him as YOUR head.

Don't look at me like that....
I'm in the Word. :D :D


And, ya betta STAY 'dea, too!! >:( :D :D
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: LaylaMonroe on March 10, 2008, 09:59:39 AM
Don't look at me like that....
I'm in the Word. :D :D

Stay right there, Pastor!!!!  Preeeeeeach, PREACHER!!!!!  My gawdt from Zion!  **waving the hankie**

Got me on the technicality. ::) :D

 :D :D :D
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: Redy2bUsed on March 10, 2008, 10:02:50 AM
Got me on the technicality. ::) :D


HAHAHHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!
Don't you just hate when that happens...
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: Redy2bUsed on March 10, 2008, 10:03:31 AM
Stay right there, Pastor!!!!  Preeeeeeach, PREACHER!!!!!  My gawdt from Zion!  **waving the hankie**

 :D :D :D

HAHAHHAHAAA!!!!!!
Sis, you betta stop!!
 :D :D
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: ReddGirl on March 10, 2008, 10:24:02 AM
Selfishness is forbidden and must be killed daily. Making your spouse feel like he is still the best thing since sliced cheese. And taking care of yourself so you can pour out to him.

Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: sjonathan02 on March 10, 2008, 11:21:43 AM

HAHAHHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!
Don't you just hate when that happens...

INDEED. >:( :D :D :D
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: sjonathan02 on March 10, 2008, 11:22:23 AM
Selfishness is forbidden and must be killed daily. Making your spouse feel like he is still the best thing since sliced cheese. And taking care of yourself so you can pour out to him.

See, FS needs to take notes. So much said in three sentences. My God, my God!! ;)
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: LaylaMonroe on March 10, 2008, 11:49:06 AM
See, FS needs to take notes. So much said in three sentences. My God, my God!! ;)

This site would be boring if everyone posted in the same style...

All we'd have is some 2-liners, followed by a bunch of "cosigns" and "amens...."  Let FS be FS and let Redd be Redd.  ;D  :P

Now... for arguments' sake (if I may play devil's advocate), it's very hard to make your spouse feel like he's the best thing since sliced cheese if HE thinks he's the best thing since sliced cheese... LOL.  I submit that based on a recent experience I had with someone who, in my opinion, has a bit of an ego problem, which pushed me to (subconsciously, at first) remind him that he's NOT really all as perfect as he'd like to think he is... which is just plain toxic in a friendship/relationship/whatever...
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: sjonathan02 on March 10, 2008, 11:51:32 AM
This site would be boring if everyone posted in the same style...

All we'd have is some 2-liners, followed by a bunch of "cosigns" and "amens...."  Let FS be FS and let Redd be Redd.  ;D  :P


Now... for arguments' sake (if I may play devil's advocate), it's very hard to make your spouse feel like he's the best thing since sliced cheese if HE thinks he's the best thing since sliced cheese... LOL.  I submit that based on a recent experience I had with someone who, in my opinion, has a bit of an ego problem, which pushed me to (subconsciously, at first) remind him that he's NOT really all as perfect as he'd like to think he is... which is just plain toxic in a friendship/relationship/whatever...

Everyone is entitled to their opinion.  ;) 8)

BTW, why ya gotta pick on my man Redy like 'dat?  >:(


 :P :D :D
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: Redy2bUsed on March 10, 2008, 11:52:05 AM
This site would be boring if everyone posted in the same style...

All we'd have is some 2-liners, followed by a bunch of "cosigns" and "amens...."  Let FS be FS and let Redd be Redd.  ;D  :P

Now... for arguments' sake (if I may play devil's advocate), it's very hard to make your spouse feel like he's the best thing since sliced cheese if HE thinks he's the best thing since sliced cheese... LOL.  I submit that based on a recent experience I had with someone who, in my opinion, has a bit of an ego problem, which pushed me to (subconsciously, at first) remind him that he's NOT really all as perfect as he'd like to think he is... which is just plain toxic in a friendship/relationship/whatever...

Word sis.....
No room for egos in ANY relationship.
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: sjonathan02 on March 10, 2008, 11:54:42 AM
Word sis.....
No room for egos in ANY relationship.

Troof. Forgot to 'cosign' that part of LaRue's post. :-[
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: stevenf977 on March 10, 2008, 12:25:24 PM
I gotcha...LOUD AND CLEAR ;)

These are the scriptures that my husband and I study on a daily basis.. Ephesians 5:21-33 (Amplified version)

21 Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One).

22 Wives, be subject (be submissive and adapt yourselves) to your own husbands as [a service] to the Lord.

23 For the husband is head of the wife as Christ is the Head of the church, Himself the Savior of [His] body.

24 As the church is subject to Christ, so let wives also be subject in everything to their husbands.

25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her,

26 So that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the Word,

27 That He might present the church to Himself in glorious splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such things [that she might be holy and faultless].

28 Even so husbands should love their wives as [being in a sense] their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself.

29 For no man ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and carefully protects and cherishes it, as Christ does the church,

30 Because we are members (parts) of His body.

31 For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.(D)

32 This mystery is very great, but I speak concerning [the relation of] Christ and the church.

33 However, let each man of you [without exception] love his wife as [being in a sense] his very own self; and let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband [[f]that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates, and esteems him; and [g]that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly]. [I Pet. 3:2.]




I totally agree with this but I would like to add one thing in this also.  I believe you have just shared the foundation for a great marriage.  Please forgive me for being long winded but this is a passion of mines because I have been learning a lot lately and have some major changes to make.  God has been showing me where I have been building my marriage on the wrong things and he has shown me some major changes I need to make. 

I think that the biggest problem is that we as married people look so much for our house to be so decorated that we don't really seek to make sure the house has no cracks in it.  We build them on the expectations so much that the foundation is very much not even there.  We put so much extra expectations on marriage that when they are not met the marriage is destroyed because of unmet expectations instead of a proper foundation.

I believe going out on dates and vacations are like having furniture and decorations in your house.  They are somewhat necessary but not mandatory.  Furniture does you no good if you don’t have somewhere to keep it and it only takes up resources if you don't have a house or somewhere to stay because you have to put it in storage and its only taking up money because you have no house at the time.  A lot of us get married buy our furniture first and then try to build our foundation and that is dangerous and doesn't really provide a lot of good use when it comes to long term relationships.  Dates only last for a short while and you need another one.  But if you both play your roles that fruit from both of your roles really provides a wonderful taste on a daily basis don't you think? 

If your fire is gone then you should check and see if your foundation is proper. 


I would like to share a quick example of a great foundation built on God even though it is not a marriage relationship.  But it shows that strong foundation which was keeping our word and fearing the Lord at all times.  It’s an example of when we go through life together it just forms a bond between to people.  Perfect examples are David and Jonathon.  They didn't have to do anything special they just went through life together as friends and were open and honest.  They understood each other and respected each other no matter what was going on. 

I especially like the way Jonathan went all out of his way to make sure he understood David’s situation with his Father Saul.  He could have gotten mad at him.  He could have just not believed him.  There are many different ways he could have reacted.  But he followed through and sought to understand David’s situation and that formed a great relationship between the two of them.   Jonathan didn't even let money, power, or anything else come between them.  All he did was submit to the Lord and the Lord granted him a great relationship with a wonderful future King of Israel.

Jonathan was one man surrendered to God and he knew that he would never have a Kingdom but he still drank the Cup of the Lord and that is one thing I love about Jonathan.  I think that we just need to drink the cup of the Lord and let nothing else stop us from drinking that cup all the way through.  Not just some parts of it but all of it and then the rest will come into place just as the scriptures say in Matthew 6.  Everything else we do is icing on the cake.  I think if we seek to drink our roles together with passion which is the way we can drink the cup of the Lord all the way through and then as we have mastered that I believe God will bless many marriages tremendously no matter what trials you go through. 
Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: chevonee on March 10, 2008, 01:48:24 PM
I've been away from this thread for a few days...
And I've read some posts....
Some I agree with....And some I don't...
But I will say this....
I was reading some of the views on the woman's role.
And how they should treat the husband.
I'll say this....
and this is only in some cases.

I think that SOME women....(Ladies of LGM don't kill me)
Emphasis on SOME....
They have forgotten the old way.
They have gotten so caught up in this modern way of thinking,
that they've forgotten how to be a good wife.
There's nothing wrong with being strong,
and having a career....and holding your own.

But never forget that you are a WIFE.
and that comes before anything, and everything.
I hear so many women say....
that grandma's way of being a wife doesn't work today.
But I think it works fine, if you know what a wife SHOULD be.

And being a wife does NOT mean you have to be a slave.
And a GOOD, God fearing man wouldn't want his wife to be a slave.

He just wants his wife to be willing to do anything for him.
Simply because that husband is willing to do ANYTHING for
his wife, to keep her happy.

A wife should know her place....
and before ya'll flip out on Ya man REDY.
A wife knowing her place...doesn't mean anything bad.
Because a husband should know his place also.

Redy as long as your wife gives you what you've just written then you've got it made my friend. ;)


Title: Re: What can we married folks do to keep........................?
Post by: chevonee on March 10, 2008, 01:54:51 PM
Why? It speaks to husband and wives submitting TO ONE ANOTHER. A factor that a LOT of couples miss too many times, sadly. :-\
You and I think too much a like...this is getting scurry! (just kidding) ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D




As an aside though, when we went through pre-marital counseling the counselors (husband and wife) told us that the husband's role is not to be the BIG BOSS MAN but HEAD of household means to be the one held responsible. This is what impressed me so much the fact that we had both a husband and wife counselling us. A man can only say things from what he sees and feels and a woman can only say what she sees and feels....eventhough as I said earlier both men and women's views should line up with the Word of God (Eph 5 & 2 Peter 3:2 etc)