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Main => Gospel Music Lounge => Topic started by: rochelle33 on March 08, 2008, 03:27:43 PM
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....you know someone who has a minor child, who obviously has his school friends over a lot. This minor child's father is, for a fact, growing his own marijuana in the basement, and selling it. This father also has "other" traffic in and out of his house from "friends" of his own. Knowing this, and caring for the well-being of the child....do you say something? Do you do anything at ALL? Some people would...some people would choose to turn their heads and stay uninvolved. Here's the catch...what if this is a close relative?
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Say something to who? Child Protective Services? If you are sure that the child is being physicaly and/or mentaly harmed, then you should definatley consider calling them. But before you call, make sure you are ready to end the reationship with the parent and be ready to testify. I really dont think that CPS is fond of anonymous callers.Have you researched what CPS does? Do you know the consequences of calling them?
I would suggest that you try to settle the problem with him before calling cps.
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Say something to who? Child Protective Services? If you are sure that the child is being physicaly and/or mentaly harmed, then you should definatley consider calling them. But before you call, make sure you are ready to end the reationship with the parent and be ready to testify. I really dont think that CPS is fond of anonymous callers.Have you researched what CPS does? Do you know the consequences of calling them?
I would suggest that you try to settle the problem with him before calling cps.
I don't know who. So, you're suggesting that nothing is done...and just wait til the police raid the house, find all the drugs, and throw the parents in prison?
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I don't know who. So, you're suggesting that nothing is done...and just wait til the police raid the house, find all the drugs, and throw the parents in prison?
Is that how you interpreted what I said?
If you have seen first hand, this kid being abused and want to testify in court, then you should call CPS. When CPS does their investigation they will notice if somethings up and will handle it. They are probaly gonna be real strict, cuz just 2 weeks ago a mother killed her 3 kids after cps came to the house numerous times and nobody answered the door.
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Is that how you interpreted what I said?
If you have seen first hand, this kid being abused and want to testify in court, then you should call CPS. When CPS does their investigation they will notice if somethings up and will handle it. They are probaly gonna be real strict, cuz just 2 weeks ago a mother killed her 3 kids after cps came to the house numerous times and nobody answered the door.
No, no, no....the child is not being abused. I'm sorry if that's what you thought, I don't want any confusion here....the father is my brother, the child is my nephew. Not the brother in my pic...LOL...we have an older brother who is kinda like a black sheep, has been into some trouble and has just been down the wrong path most of his life. He is growing marijuana in the basement and selling some other drugs out of his home, and my sis-in-law knows about it. Not to mention, now my nephew has been caught smoking cigarettes and marijuana...gee, I wonder where he's getting it? And my brother punishes him for it??? I could go on and on....but the bottom line is...my nephew is in the middle of all of this and I'm just scared for him. I can't stress enough that I don't know what the heck is wrong with my brother and his wife.
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How old is the kid?
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How old is the kid?
14
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And here's the real kicker....guess what my sis-in-law does for a living? She works for the county. She's the person that decides whether a child should be yanked out of a home due to an unfit environment. What a JOKE.
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I'm sure I'll be frowned on for saying this but I suggest strong Godly intervention. Prayer and fasting. He's your brother? The kid's your nephew? God restores black sheep to wholeness. I should know. Just my opinion.
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i really feel as believers we are faced with tough choices we have to make. but if you knew about a situation like this where family wasn't involved what would you do? we should never compromise who we are for anyone. unbelievers don't as by the problem you state.
thought it want be easy, what it is in the best interest of the child. ask yourself, if i had the chance to save/rescue him and i didn't and something bad happens can i live with the guilt. doing the right thing isn't always the easiest thing to do, but the right thing to do. praying for you and your family.
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I'm praying too. I'm just curious to see God work on the brother (the head) and watch the blessings trickle down.
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i really feel as believers we are faced with tough choices we have to make. but if you knew about a situation like this where family wasn't involved what would you do? we should never compromise who we are for anyone. unbelievers don't as by the problem you state.
thought it want be easy, what it is in the best interest of the child. ask yourself, if i had the chance to save/rescue him and i didn't and something bad happens can i live with the guilt. doing the right thing isn't always the easiest thing to do, but the right thing to do. praying for you and your family.
I gotta totally agree with that. You can pray while you're dialing CPS. You can pray AFTER you've dialed CPS. Let God work on your brother after CPS has done what they need to do. I would really hate for something terrible to happen, and you have to live with the guilt and knowledge that you could've done more, but didn't because you were being super-spiritual. :-\
I've been in a similar situation, but not with a sibling. Fortunately, my sisters are all grounded and successful. But, my cousins (who were raised on and off with us) are a whole other story. When I had to deal with this situation, I gave my cousin an ultimatum. I told her that she could either give the child up, stop doing what she was doing, or I was going to call CPS. Those were her ONLY three choices, as far as I was concerned. To this day, she doesn't like me too much and will only speak to me when it's absolutely necessary. But, it is absolutely NO sweat off my back because I know I did the right thing.
As Pastor Rob said, do what is in the best interest of the child.
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Okay, so what we have here are two people who are doing something illegal. Their 14 yr old child is exposed to it and already showing signs of going down the same path.
Call CPS.
Peace,
James
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That was simply my opinion. If he wasn't your brother I might agree with the others. But what I said is based on how I felt after reading your initial statement. Some things can happen because we're super spiritual. Others can happen when we ain't spiritual enough....but you be the judge and do what you feel is best. Leave the praying about the situation to me. I'll be spiritual enough to pray for YOUR BROTHER'S DELIVERANCE and the child's welfare.
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That was simply my opinion. If he wasn't your brother I might agree with the others. But what I said is based on how I felt after reading your initial statement. Some things can happen because we're super spiritual. Others can happen when we ain't spiritual enough....but you be the judge and do what you feel is best. Leave the praying about the situation to me. I'll be spiritual enough to pray for YOUR BROTHER'S DELIVERANCE and the child's welfare.
Bro Herman,
Prayer is ALWAYS good, but sometimes the deliverance that is provided through the prayer is positive action on the part of others or the granting of courage for the one praying to take action.
Could be that for the OP, the answer to their prayer may be the clarity and strength they need to do the right thing. Could also be that someone else (the child maybe?) is praying for someone to make sense of this situation and maybe those prayers are driving the OP to seek options.
Peace,
James
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As promised I prayed and believe God to work this out. That's all I have to offer. I should have just read this and prayed without replying. The enemy would love to distract the original purpose of this with a debate over which method is most effective....a victory I'm not trying to give him.
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As promised I prayed and believe God to work this out. That's all I have to offer. I should have just read this and prayed without replying. The enemy would love to distract the original purpose of this with a debate over which method is most effective....a victory I'm not trying to give him.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
God Bless You.
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May the peace of God settle your brother's spirit and restore him to a state of wholeness. Complete wholeness....in his life....with his family....everywhere! May crooked places be made straight and high places low. May you be blessed for doing the Will of God by seeing a need and obeying the call to MINISTER....IN JESUS' NAME.
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I would suggest that you try to settle the problem with him before calling cps.
I wouldnt say anything. You know what you are doing is wrong, and you are a grown *** woman...
Eventhough the second quote is from a different thread, I thought you were more of a person who kept to yourself, and turned your head as if it wasnt happening ?/?
As far as this thread, I would really watch how to handle this situation. I myself would say something... Thats just me.
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Don't bring CPS into this so quickly, CPS is not always the answer. This is a problem that can & should be handled within the family. You obviously don't know the damage that can happen to this family, with one phone call. your sister in-law will lose her job, you brother will go to jail, & if some family member doesn't take in the nephew, he will be awarded to the state & probably in & out of foster homes until he's 18 & he'll be worse coming out than going in. Now the family is for sure torn apart. You seem to care about your nephew alot, go to your brother & let him know how you feel, get other family members & the church involved & PRAY, a little prayer goes a long way. Make sure CPS is you last resort.
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CPS should be the call you make AFTER you warn your brother that if he doesn't stop, you will call the authorities, and he still doesn't stop. After you offer to take your nephew out of the home so they can continue their ILLEGAL and HARMFUL activity, and he refuses, CPS is who you should call.
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Don't bring CPS into this so quickly, CPS is not always the answer. This is a problem that can & should be handled within the family. You obviously don't know the damage that can happen to this family, with one phone call. your sister in-law will lose her job, you brother will go to jail, & if some family member doesn't take in the nephew, he will be awarded to the state & probably in & out of foster homes until he's 18 & he'll be worse coming out than going in. Now the family is for sure torn apart. You seem to care about your nephew alot, go to your brother & let him know how you feel, get other family members & the church involved & PRAY, a little prayer goes a long way. Make sure CPS is you last resort.
Cosign...
I, don't know what the laws are where your brother is, but in NY at one time the law was that any child placed in foster care, stayed a mandatory 18 months, no matter what the situation or improvement of said situation. This young man, because of his drug use may not be considered ''desirable'' and thefore end up in a facility as opposed to a foster home and as previously stated will be worse for it. What he needs are care and nurturing by those who know and love him..not by some ''system'' where a lot of people (who are often overwhelmed with their caseloads) are ''just doing their jobs'', ''by the book'' and don't really have your nephew's best interest at heart. As previously stated, only after ALL other options have been exhausted, should cps be called.
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Eventhough the second quote is from a different thread, I thought you were more of a person who kept to yourself, and turned your head as if it wasnt happening ?/?
As far as this thread, I would really watch how to handle this situation. I myself would say something... Thats just me.
::) ::) ::) ::)
Two totaly different situations. There was no child involved in the first case. Dont make pull some quotes from you B-Xalted days :D :D
CPS should be the call you make AFTER you warn your brother that if he doesn't stop, you will call the authorities, and he still doesn't stop. After you offer to take your nephew out of the home so they can continue their ILLEGAL and HARMFUL activity, and he refuses, CPS is who you should call.
Yup. You can also try calling the narcs, but I dont know if that always works, I dont think we cant just go around acusing people of selling drugs, even if its true.
Whatever you do, you gotta do it fast. If they are slinging out of the house, then you dont know what might happen there. What if they get robbed and your nephew is there? You will feel guilty knowing that you coulda, woulda, shoulda done something sooner. So you gotta do something this week. preferebly Monday Morning.
Are you ready and able to take this kid into your home?
And the fact that the mother works for cps, is pretty crazy. You wouldnt beleive the things some of us these people w/ connections get away with.
So before you go talk to the parents, ask God to guide your words and actions
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Cosign...
I, don't know what the laws are where your brother is, but in NY at one time the law was that any child placed in foster care, stayed a mandatory 18 months, no matter what the situation or improvement of said situation. This young man, because of his drug use may not be considered ''desirable'' and thefore end up in a facility as opposed to a foster home and as previously stated will be worse for it. What he needs are care and nurturing by those who know and love him..not by some ''system'' where a lot of people (who are often overwhelmed with their caseloads) are ''just doing their jobs'', ''by the book'' and don't really have your nephew's best interest at heart. As previously stated, only after ALL other options have been exhausted, should cps be called.
But, even in NY (and this is probably the case in most states), they will attempt to place the child with a family member before putting the child in foster care.
For whatever it's worth, GA doesn't have that 18 month rule.
There's no denying that this is a very difficult situation, and Rochelle has a really tough decision to make. But, to me, it all comes down to what is best for this child? Is he safer at home with his criminal parents or with another family member or (worst case scenario) in foster care?
As I recall, Rochelle's parents are very helpful with her own children, so I'd like to think they'd also be willing to help with their other grandchild, if it became necessary. Rochelle might be willing to keep him herself.
I guess it's just hard to answer this without knowing whether he will go to foster care as a result of the call to CPS or to a family member.
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But, even in NY (and this is probably the case in most states), they will attempt to place the child with a family member before putting the child in foster care.
For whatever it's worth, GA doesn't have that 18 month rule.
There's no denying that this is a very difficult situation, and Rochelle has a really tough decision to make. But, to me, it all comes down to what is best for this child? Is he safer at home with his criminal parents or with another family member or (worst case scenario) in foster care?
As I recall, Rochelle's parents are very helpful with her own children, so I'd like to think they'd also be willing to help with their other grandchild, if it became necessary. Rochelle might be willing to keep him herself.
I guess it's just hard to answer this without knowing whether he will go to foster care as a result of the call to CPS or to a family member.
I, agree wholeheartedly and sincerely with what you're saying. I'm praying that that someone in the family will be able to give him the love, support and home that he needs even if only temporarily, until all other matters are worked out. My point is that because of his age, there's a possibility that he would be placed in a ''facility'' as opposed to a foster home and I, feel that, that would do more harm than good. In any event, I am praying and touching in agreement with all prayers that God move Mightily in this family's circumstances, in Jesus' Name.