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Main => Gospel Music Lounge => Topic started by: 4hisglory on March 20, 2008, 08:20:23 AM
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When church is no longer fun and its more of a chore, what do you do??
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When church is no longer fun and its more of a chore, what do you do??
I left. :D
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I would re-evaluate why I was not having a good time at church anymore. Then, I would try to seek a solution for the problem(s). I would never leave church (or that particular church) altogether.
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I left. :D
lol. thats whst im about to do. ;D
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I'm kind of going through that right now. Much of it has to do with the pastor being ill. I am not thinking about leaving because I believe this is where God wants me to be. That doesn't make it easier though.
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4HG man...these questions...something you wanna tell us?lol.
Me, I'm in the same school as you guys. leaning towards SJ's post. I'm tired of my chores as the musician in my church. I think i just need a break. Because, i worship in a church where the service is over-ridden by the traditionalism of the leaders, who have carried over the mentality and the culture of their 'former' ways into a new faith. Which speaks for some unexplainable formats that we have our services. Thats all relative to being in a typical (or with most elements) of a black church. One thing I'd like to know if anybody knows, how old is Christianity in America?
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When church is no longer fun and its more of a chore, what do you do??
I pray harder.
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I pray harder.
Good idea. I know I had a good time at our spring concert. Our old drummer asked me about coming by and he really showed out.
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I left. :D
same hurr....we (me n family) left like 2 churches b/4 we finally found da rite one where Jesus wanted us to be....
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I try to refocus a few times, pray harder, fast, ask God whats up?
Then I look at how Im spending my time in church; am I getting fed, if not why.
One time, it was because I was so focused on the next song, that I didnt take notes on the sermon or pay attention. While in that particular situation, I went to other Bible Studies and singles and/or outreach ministries during the week to keep getting what I needed so I wouldnt be empty on Sundays. It worked! Then I just decided I wanted to be fed where I served, and I found another spot and left; at the Lords prompting, of course.
Im getting malnourished again at my new church. Falling asleep, not knowing what the message was about, not taking notes. In my notebook, Ive been trying to fill the last 2pages for about a month now. Im ready to get a new one, but Id like to finish the first one up before I continue.
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4HG man...these questions...something you wanna tell us?lol.
Me, I'm in the same school as you guys. leaning towards SJ's post. I'm tired of my chores as the musician in my church. I think i just need a break. Because, i worship in a church where the service is over-ridden by the traditionalism of the leaders, who have carried over the mentality and the culture of their 'former' ways into a new faith. Which speaks for some unexplainable formats that we have our services. Thats all relative to being in a typical (or with most elements) of a black church. One thing I'd like to know if anybody knows, how old is Christianity in America?
I believe the first significant number of Christians came to America on the Mayflower, so that would've been around 1620? I don't know if churches were officially organized that early on (as in denominationally organized) so they may have been just churchin in the backyard or something... lol; the first organizations I can recall started in the early 1700s.
When church is no longer fun and its more of a chore, what do you do??
Church hasn't been "fun" for me since I was a kid... lol. Personally, I don't expect (or need) it to be fun. :-\ I go to church to minister and to be ministered to, and when that stopped happ'nin, is whenI left. :D
;)
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Church should be fun! It should also minister but geesh if you can't feel good at church then where can you go....
I
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I believe the first significant number of Christians came to America on the Mayflower, so that would've been around 1620? I don't know if churches were officially organized that early on (as in denominationally organized) so they may have been just churchin in the backyard or something... lol; the first organizations I can recall started in the early 1700s.
You better put that AP History class to work! :D
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You better put that AP History class to work! :D
Yessuhhhhh!!!!!
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I stay home more often or I try to do something different to revive me. Im going through this right now. :P
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I don't want to go to a church where I can't be ministered to or uplifted spiritually. The house of God is supposed to be a spiritual hospital where you can allow God to fix what's ailin ya...spoda be anyway. To me, it is fun to go to church expecting something from God and actually receiving your expectation. I went the other day expecting an answer to a question that has been hounding me for about 2 weeks and God just showed up....WHAT A RELIEF!!! I felt as if the weight of the world was lifted off my shoulders...spirituallly. Thats just the way I feel about it though ;)
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I don't want to go to a church where I can be ministered to or uplifted spiritually. The house of God is supposed to be a spiritual hospital where you can allow God to fix what's ailin ya...spoda be anyway. To me, it is fun to go to church expecting something from God and actually receiving your expectation. I went the other day expecting an answer to a question that has been hounding me for about 2 weeks and God just showed up....WHAT A RELIEF!!! I felt as if the weight of the world was lifted off my shoulders...spirituallly. Thats just the way I feel about it though ;)
Is that what you really wanted to say? or is it just me?
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Is that what you really wanted to say? or is it just me?
For once, you and I are thinking the same thing.
Vonne, is that what you meant to say?
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For once, you and I are thinking the same thing.
Vonne, is that what you meant to say?
I didnt see a (int) next to it so I wasnt sure
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For once, you and I are thinking the same thing.
Vonne, is that what you meant to say?
Thank God for the edit button :-[ :-[ :-[ :-[ :-[ :-[ My bad yall
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I stay home more often or I try to do something different to revive me. Im going through this right now. :P
What I have noticed is that (generally) when people becom involved in the administration/execution of certain church activities, it also tends to be those people who get burnt out. Folks who just coming and sitting don't generally have this issue ( unless they have a problem with the doctrine of a specific church).
For me it boils down to respect and organization.
1. Be organized about your ministry and the people under your charge. Know when something is supposed to happen, who has been appointed to handle the event/situation/service, and make sure they are adequately prepared.
2. Respect the time of others and have the same expectation with your own time. If we are meeting, lets start at ( or very near ) the appointed time. If we are rehearsing, lets be focused on accomplishing the task at hand. After that we can hang and joke, but lets the work done first. Don't call a meeting/rehearsal and then cancel it without informing those folks who are required to be there ( and if you do cancel, realizing that emergencies do happen, please give ample notice of the cancellation in advance).
like I said in another thread, I'm suffering with this stuff as well. so please disregard any venom you may notice in this response.
Jlewis
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What I have noticed is that (generally) when people becom involved in the administration/execution of certain church activities, it also tends to be those people who get burnt out. Folks who just coming and sitting don't generally have this issue ( unless they have a problem with the doctrine of a specific church).
For me it boils down to respect and organization.
1. Be organized about your ministry and the people under your charge. Know when something is supposed to happen, who has been appointed to handle the event/situation/service, and make sure they are adequately prepared.
2. Respect the time of others and have the same expectation with your own time. If we are meeting, lets start at ( or very near ) the appointed time. If we are rehearsing, lets be focused on accomplishing the task at hand. After that we can hang and joke, but lets the work done first. Don't call a meeting/rehearsal and then cancel it without informing those folks who are required to be there ( and if you do cancel, realizing that emergencies do happen, please give ample notice of the cancellation in advance).
like I said in another thread, I'm suffering with this stuff as well. so please disregard any venom you may notice in this response.
Jlewis
COSIGN!! Excellence of execution isn't JUST about wrestling. I'll let that marinate for all others. ;) :D 8)
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What I have noticed is that (generally) when people becom involved in the administration/execution of certain church activities, it also tends to be those people who get burnt out. Folks who just coming and sitting don't generally have this issue ( unless they have a problem with the doctrine of a specific church).
For me it boils down to respect and organization.
1. Be organized about your ministry and the people under your charge. Know when something is supposed to happen, who has been appointed to handle the event/situation/service, and make sure they are adequately prepared.
2. Respect the time of others and have the same expectation with your own time. If we are meeting, lets start at ( or very near ) the appointed time. If we are rehearsing, lets be focused on accomplishing the task at hand. After that we can hang and joke, but lets the work done first. Don't call a meeting/rehearsal and then cancel it without informing those folks who are required to be there ( and if you do cancel, realizing that emergencies do happen, please give ample notice of the cancellation in advance).
like I said in another thread, I'm suffering with this stuff as well. so please disregard any venom you may notice in this response.
Jlewis
I am burnt out! I want to enjoy my Church but sadly I am not.
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Yall neee me lone...LOL ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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What I have noticed is that (generally) when people becom involved in the administration/execution of certain church activities, it also tends to be those people who get burnt out. Folks who just coming and sitting don't generally have this issue ( unless they have a problem with the doctrine of a specific church).
For me it boils down to respect and organization.
1. Be organized about your ministry and the people under your charge. Know when something is supposed to happen, who has been appointed to handle the event/situation/service, and make sure they are adequately prepared.
2. Respect the time of others and have the same expectation with your own time. If we are meeting, lets start at ( or very near ) the appointed time. If we are rehearsing, lets be focused on accomplishing the task at hand. After that we can hang and joke, but lets the work done first. Don't call a meeting/rehearsal and then cancel it without informing those folks who are required to be there ( and if you do cancel, realizing that emergencies do happen, please give ample notice of the cancellation in advance).
like I said in another thread, I'm suffering with this stuff as well. so please disregard any venom you may notice in this response.
Jlewis
Very well said, JLewis.
May I add to your #1?
Just this one line here....
1. Be organized about your ministry and the people under your charge. Know when something is supposed to happen, who has been appointed to handle the event/situation/service, and make sure they are adequately prepared. Be submissive to those whose charge you are under. Know when your assignments are due and what your responsibility is in getting it done, and do it well, thoroughly, timely, and cheerfully. When you work cheerfully for folks, folks will work cheerfully for you. ;D
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I like my church just tired of the wilderness experience. Going in circles. Seems like we are coming out once again. lol Then outside of church right now I have not had much a life. :D Playing feels more like a duty than fun. I have a certain picture of music in my head that I dont see. Kinda have just put it on the back burner.
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I am burnt out! I want to enjoy my Church but sadly I am not.
Im prety much burnt out as well. I want to take action but its a complicated situation :-\
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So many of you have expressed my personal feelings. I'm not saying misery loves company but at least I know that I'm not the only one who gets discouraged.
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You leave your grandfather's church and turn COGIC. (NOTE TO SELF: Remember how they haggled us over this very thing when we asked?) lol.
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What I have noticed is that (generally) when people becom involved in the administration/execution of certain church activities, it also tends to be those people who get burnt out. Folks who just coming and sitting don't generally have this issue ( unless they have a problem with the doctrine of a specific church).
Jlewis
Exactly
I think when you're in a service mode, you just have to be aware that it does happen and know how to get what you need when it does.
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I left. :D
So did I. So.... not... joking. Ministry is about work, but I've also enjoyed it all my life. I'll be darned if I'm gonna spend that much time somewhere and be miserable.
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So did I. So.... not... joking. Ministry is about work, but I've also enjoyed it all my life. I'll be darned if I'm gonna spend that much time somewhere and be miserable.
That's what I wanted to say..thanks for expressing it 4 me.
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Well I have to say that if I feel like coming together to worship the Lord becomes a chore then I ask the Lord for a :'( heart transplant :'( because that means somewhere my heart has hardened and I am not having the attitude of Christ. The bibles tells me that I need to come together and be ready to give. If I were thinking like Jesus and really serving Christ then I would be thinking about the best way to take care of his body. (The Church)
1 Cor 14:26
NIVWhat then shall we say, brothers? When you come together, everyone has a hymn, or a word of instruction, a revelation, a tongue or an interpretation. All of these must be done for the strengthening of the church.
KJVHow is it then, brethren? when ye come together, every one of you hath a psalm, hath a doctrine, hath a tongue, hath a revelation, hath an interpretation. Let all things be done unto edifying.
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Yeah, I will probably sound llike the biggest hypocrite for saying this, but....
Sometimes leaving isn't the answer (which is what took me so long to do it). Sometimes it's not the situation that needs to be changed, rather its YOU IN the situation that needs to be changed (or as he said, a "heart transplant").
Either way, I wouldn't recommend taking as long as I DID, but I would recommend some serious meditation and thought on the issue. To move to the wrong place at the wrong time - even for a good reason, is still wrong.
Consequently, I've been invited back to direct the choir on one song for Choir Day next month. Because I have "moved on" and no longer have to bear the headache of that "chore", I easily said "no...just let me come and support".
BUT...something on the inside of me is starting to miss directing...slowly...and the chance to do it every now and again is "fulfilling". So this was one of those times when everything in me WANTED to say yes...but everything else in me KNEW that no was right.
It pays to be analytical at times. Hope that helps.
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When church is no longer fun and its more of a chore, what do you do??
I think that it is important to balance everything so that you will not view church as a chore. What has worked for me is to address the following in order: 1. God 2. family/self 3.church
I think that we as church staffers have a tendency to put church before family and next thing you know, your're in the church 4 to 5 days a week and you are up late working after hours when you are not at the church. It hurt me to leave when my child was sleep in the morning and come back home at night to find my child sleep.
What is currently working for me is to attend one rehearsal and one service per week.
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So did I. So.... not... joking. Ministry is about work, but I've also enjoyed it all my life. I'll be darned if I'm gonna spend that much time somewhere and be miserable.
Let the record show that while I made the statement, jokingly, it is exactly what I did. The work, itself, didn't become burdensome, the people were. I conversed with God about it; He told me my season was up at that place.
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I think that it is important to balance everything so that you will not view church as a chore. What has worked for me is to address the following in order: 1. God 2. family/self 3.church
I think that we as church staffers have a tendency to put church before family and next thing you know, your're in the church 4 to 5 days a week and you are up late working after hours when you are not at the church. It hurt me to leave when my child was sleep in the morning and come back home at night to find my child sleep.
What is currently working for me is to attend one rehearsal and one service per week.
You preachin now....
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You preachin now....
at the risk of sound preachy.. we all get burned out and tired in life. i would bet if you think about it when you are not having fun at church anymore, you probably aren't having fun period! we all (me to) have to step back and breath now and then. look at not only the situation and judge it, but judge ourselves fairly also.
i often found when i wasn't having fun i wasn't being fun either.
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by the way, those of us who are in leadership positions to often get so consumed with the struggles of everything we never come up for air. (talking to me here also), we need to learn to relax some and breath.
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at the risk of sound preachy.. we all get burned out and tired in life. i would bet if you think about it when you are not having fun at church anymore, you probably aren't having fun period! we all (me to) have to step back and breath now and then. look at not only the situation and judge it, but judge ourselves fairly also.
i often found when i wasn't having fun i wasn't being fun either.
Naw Pastor Rob... as for me, like I said earlier in the thread, I haven't had "fun" in church since I was a child... but, that's cool with me because I don't go to church for "fun." When I want to have "fun" (which isn't often anyway... lol... I'm just not a fun-seeker), I go on a trip somewhere or take my dog to the park or my godson's to Chuck E. Cheese's or something...
You're absolutely right on that we have to just step back sometimes, church staffers especially. But we don't "ALL" have to get burned out in life. There is just no minimizing the impact of the number of hours that admin employees put into churches, especially those small and mid-sized churches.
Now I can only speak for myself... I am known for putting church work FIRST. Until the Holy Ghost convicted me, I used to be at my secular job doing church work all day long. I would come home and tell my 10-year-old child to order a pizza because I didn't have time to cook. I would be in a meeting LITERALLY 5, 6, or sometimes 7 days every single week.
I remember one church opening I did, I was at that church from 5 o'clock Saturday morning until 4:30 a.m. Sunday morning getting things ready... with my daughter right there with me. Got home at 5:00 a.m., took a shower, washed my hair, sat under the dryer with my laptop in hand, got dressed, stopped at Dunkin Donuts for refreshments for the staff and made it back to the church by 8:00 a.m. That day, I didn't get home until after evening service, which was over at about 10:30p. I had to oversee the finance ministry, hospitality, make sure all the musicians got paid, and everything was in its place... got home around 1 in the morning. I had literally worked for 44 hours straight.
That's not much different from a lot of church staffers have to do from time to time... it's stressful, and it can indeed lead to burn-out. But like U13 said, and I've said it myself, if you love what you do, you'll never work a day in your life. And I LOVE that work. But, that doesn't mean I didn't need to learn to balance God and family and self and church work.
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Naw Pastor Rob... as for me, like I said earlier in the thread, I haven't had "fun" in church since I was a child... but, that's cool with me because I don't go to church for "fun." When I want to have "fun" (which isn't often anyway... lol... I'm just not a fun-seeker), I go on a trip somewhere or take my dog to the park or my godson's to Chuck E. Cheese's or something...
You're absolutely right on that we have to just step back sometimes, church staffers especially. But we don't "ALL" have to get burned out in life. There is just no minimizing the impact of the number of hours that admin employees put into churches, especially those small and mid-sized churches.
Now I can only speak for myself... I am known for putting church work FIRST. Until the Holy Ghost convicted me, I used to be at my secular job doing church work all day long. I would come home and tell my 10-year-old child to order a pizza because I didn't have time to cook. I would be in a meeting LITERALLY 5, 6, or sometimes 7 days every single week.
I remember one church opening I did, I was at that church from 5 o'clock Saturday morning until 4:30 a.m. Sunday morning getting things ready... with my daughter right there with me. Got home at 5:00 a.m., took a shower, washed my hair, sat under the dryer with my laptop in hand, got dressed, stopped at Dunkin Donuts for refreshments for the staff and made it back to the church by 8:00 a.m. That day, I didn't get home until after evening service, which was over at about 10:30p. I had to oversee the finance ministry, hospitality, make sure all the musicians got paid, and everything was in its place... got home around 1 in the morning. I had literally worked for 44 hours straight.
That's not much different from a lot of church staffers have to do from time to time... it's stressful, and it can indeed lead to burn-out. But like U13 said, and I've said it myself, if you love what you do, you'll never work a day in your life. And I LOVE that work. But, that doesn't mean I didn't need to learn to balance God and family and self and church work.
Wow! you are a dynamo! i've been there w/no regrets. but wisdom has made me step back and try and acquire balance for the sake of my family life. also i love to have fun in church. it is a big part of my life and who i am. life should be fun. not stupid but fun ;)
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Wow! you are a dynamo! i've been there w/no regrets. but wisdom has made me step back and try and acquire balance for the sake of my family life. also i love to have fun in church. it is a big part of my life and who i am. life should be fun. not stupid but fun ;)
I totally agree....
(And there are plenty of "dynamos" out there, they just ain't on LGM talkin about it... lol). I will say that I wouldn't have been able to do all that without the support (and consent) of my family.
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There is just no minimizing the impact of the number of hours that admin employees put into churches, especially those small and mid-sized churches.
Truer words have never been spoken.