LearnGospelMusic.com Community

Main => Ministry, M.O.M, Praise Teams and Choirs => Topic started by: Freddy229 on December 03, 2005, 10:54:36 AM

Title: To the Ministers...
Post by: Freddy229 on December 03, 2005, 10:54:36 AM
I am a M.O.M. and my finace is also. Our relationship is at an impasse because of an outside relationship. She is a singer and there is a guy that wants to work with her and do some tracks(she is also a recording artist) but I have a problem with him. She says she understands what I'm saying, but whenever he asks her for anything she just goes along with it like its no problem.
The problem is that we were real good friends and all of a sudden he changed and 'tripped' one day. Since then, we have never been close at all. I'm like: "if you respect her, respect me." But, I see that not a lot has actually changed with him and I CAN'T SEEM TO FIGURE OUT WHY SHE WON'T LISTEN TO ME!!

Now...as a man the first thing I wanna do is go and act a fool all over the place just to prove my point, but I want to be Godly through this. I am reaching out to those of  you in the ministry who can advise me on this. We are both also ministers of the word so I don't want to go labeling 'spirits' and all that kind of stuff too soon... Please help, I pray about it (maybe not enough) and I try to talk to her, but its all to no avail!!
Title: To the Ministers...
Post by: Freddy229 on December 03, 2005, 06:38:59 PM
I am talking about my fiance. Sorry about the misspelling!!  We are trying to set a date for the first half of next year.
Title: To the Ministers...
Post by: Davelong on December 05, 2005, 04:39:17 PM
It's not really possible to tell exactly what's going on here, but it's probably that she really wants to work with this guy.  I don't know why - maybe he could advance her career, or she wants to be seen as being easy to work with.  (Which is a BIG asset in the buisiness!)

Don't let this guy get the better of you by making you angry.  You're falling for his tricks.

I feel for ya!

I hope God gives you some good insights!
Title: To the Ministers...
Post by: BBoy on December 05, 2005, 06:11:06 PM
Talk to a pastor about this, and tell all the scoop.

When jealousy is at issue . . . . and I know this may shock some people, but it is true according to Scripture . . . . sometimes there is a reason to be jealous. You need to get to the root of this, for your peace and for the future.

You are right, if the man respects her then he will respect you.

So, my 2 cents . . . . pray and talk to a pastor before you do anything. Then, if necessary, talk with your fiancee again. You may just have to keep her company whenever the brother is around.

Be Blessed  :D
Title: To the Ministers...
Post by: Freddy229 on December 06, 2005, 08:49:24 AM
JEALOUSY IS NOT THE ISSUE HERE!! I and this guy are former friends. He tripped out all of a sudden about 10 yrs. ago and we haven't been the same since. My thing is: why is he wanting to work with her and CAUSE her to exclude me? That is what I want her to look at!

I have to add that my pastor is HIS DAD!! Thanx for the replies!!
Title: To the Ministers...
Post by: Jniles_NCF on December 06, 2005, 09:22:49 AM
Trust her to make the right decission. thisis your fiancee... and when it comes down to it, the bond oflove that you two share cannot be broken by anyone. don't let it get the best of you. i kind of went through this situation.. my girlfriends ex-boyfriend started calling her all of a sudden outta no where.. i was upset cause in my eyes i'm like if he did you wrong what more do you have to do with him, and for the life of me i couldn't understand why she couldn't see that he was  disrespecting the relationship that we have.. and that i cannot allow that.. long story short i called him out one day( i felt bad about it afterwards) i told him that if he cannot respect the relationship that she and i have, then talkin to her, even on a friendship level is outta the question and if he calls back again that i won't be so nice about how i respond( pray for me ya'll i still have some issues) it wasn't the fact that they were talkin it was all the extra stuff that was going on, the time he would call. the fact that she didn't tell me at first... it still bothers me a lil( God is still healing) but when it comes down to it.. we are a lot closer now.. you never know what someone's made out of until you put them in hot water... trust her and love her but let her know that it does bother you.. don't act like it doesn't bother you, but trust her.. if this guy get's outta line or does somethign inappropriate i'm sure she will know what to do... she might not tell you he did cause if your anythign like me he won't live to tel lanybody about it( i'm srry ya'll God is still working on me... i'm not violent i just know violent people)
Title: To the Ministers...
Post by: Jniles_NCF on December 06, 2005, 09:23:39 AM
maybe i shouldn't have been the one to reply but take the meat and throw out the bones on that last post be blessed ya'll( God is still working on me) pray for a brother
Title: To the Ministers...
Post by: BBoy on January 05, 2006, 10:43:06 PM
Freddy 229, I think you might have misunderstood my post.

When we think of the word jealousy, we think of how the world defines it . . . being petty, insecure, neurotic, etc. That is not at all what I meant.

There is nothing wrong with being jealous in a godly way. GOD is jealous over us, meaning that HE won't have anyone occupying HIS Place but HIM.

I was saying that you may be picking up on something, some problem,  that actually IS there, and that as her fiancee you have every right to be protective and get to the root of what is going on. Am I making sense here?

Sometimes the problem is that we are not jealous enough.
Title: To the Ministers...
Post by: Freddy229 on January 12, 2006, 12:22:24 AM
Actually yes, you are coming across very clear!!!  Thanx for the insight!!