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Main => Gospel Music Lounge => Topic started by: 4hisglory on April 18, 2006, 11:57:14 AM
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Has times changed?? Should the man still pay when you take a female out to eat??
I'm a little old school, so I still think they guy should pay. What do you think.
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I don't know, but nowadays I always come prepared to cover myself just in case. I don't want to be embarrassed. I think in most cases the person who asks pays. In my case that would be the guy, because I don't believe in being the "asker".
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The first date I went on with my boyfriend, we both paid and then after making it official, he just took over paying for everything. Sometimes, I would pay for dessert when we'd go get ice cream or i'll pay for drinks, just because I'm used to paying for something. Other than that, a guy who buys a girl a meal...I just think that is classy, romantic, and he is making an effort to impress in order to succeed.
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Depends on who ask. The Man? or the Woman?
Man ask............Man pays
Woman ask.......Woman pays
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Has times changed?? Should the man still pay when you take a female out to eat??
I'm a little old school, so I still think they guy should pay. What do you think.
I'm with 4hisglory on this one, regardless of who asks, they guy should man up and pay, but thats just me.... 8)
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I think the man should pay.
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saying that "the man should always pay" sounds good, i personally have no problem with that. i just want to know where that doctrine came from. if you both are interested in each other and you are supposedly both equal, it seems to me that you would be setting precedent in the relationship as to who is in charge ie "money talks"
i personally would not want a broke woman or a stingy woman. i believe both should make the effort to pay.
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I am a conventionalist, but in all make sure an agreement met beforehand. Spare the akward moments during for another time.
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saying that "the man should always pay" sounds good, i personally have no problem with that. i just want to know where that doctrine came from. if you both are interested in each other and you are supposedly both equal, it seems to me that you would be setting precedent in the relationship as to who is in charge ie "money talks"
i personally would not want a broke woman or a stingy woman. i believe both should make the effort to pay.
Its not biblical that I know of so there is no doctrine to back it up, it think it has more to do with chivalry and the mans willingness to provide... my $0.02
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its funny.
When me and my wife were dating. I usually paid
Since we have been married, I haven't seen a checkbook or a paystub in years. I hardly ever carry cash. So when we go out now, she pays.
( I guess really I'm still paying, but the waitresses always pass me the bill, and I ALWAYS give it to my wife. I get some funny from the waiters doing that sometimes).
But here is a tip fellas, marry a woman who is serious about keepong the finances inorder. We have no credit card debt whatsoever.
Only bills are house and car ( it took us a while to pay them student loans though, I aint even gonnna lie).
My son thinks its so funny because I'm always telling my wife "Let me hold 10 dollars".
He's like "You go to work every day and you don't ever have no money. why you always borrowing from mama?"
I just tell him " I got papers on her son, so its all good."
he has no idea what I'm talking about 8)
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its funny.
When me and my wife were dating. I usually paid
Since we have been married, I haven't seen a checkbook or a paystub in years. I hardly ever carry cash. So when we go out now, she pays.
( I guess really I'm still paying, but the waitresses always pass me the bill, and I ALWAYS give it to my wife. I get some funny from the waiters doing that sometimes).
But here is a tip fellas, marry a woman who is serious about keepong the finances inorder. We have no credit card debt whatsoever.
Only bills are house and car ( it took us a while to pay them student loans though, I aint even gonnna lie).
My son thinks its so funny because I'm always telling my wife "Let me hold 10 dollars".
He's like "You go to work every day and you don't ever have no money. why you always borrowing from mama?"
I just tell him " I got papers on her son, so its all good."
he has no idea what I'm talking about 8)
That's too funny :D
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I expect to pay on a date. I've dated women who have refused to allow me to pay because they want to feel like they’re the ones treating. I give mad props to those women. Whether she pays or not doesn’t really matter to me because I expect to pay every time.
Regarding the "we're equals" concept, everything doesn't have to be equal straight down the middle. Maybe I pay for dinner, but sometimes she cooks like something from heaven, or vice versa. Later on in marriage, maybe my income serves to cover all of the bills, but she cleans more of the house than me, or vice versa. As long as everybody’s being honest in their efforts, the “we’re equals” concept will come out correctly in the wash.
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I don't know, but nowadays I always come prepared to cover myself just in case. I don't want to be embarrassed. I think in most cases the person who asks pays. In my case that would be the guy, because I don't believe in being the "asker".
i agree... its not that i dont want to be embarrassed but sometimes (in the secular world) if a man pays he will expect something from the woman...
so i want to be viewed as independent, not that im all hard and dont need no help but if he pays for dinner ill get the movie or something... but if you insist on paying for everything i will not argue ;D
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I pay my own way. Drive myself to wherever dinner/movie is . I like it like this until Mr. Right is met, that way I don't have to deal with any stupid ideas at the end of the night. YOu know some of them "saved" brotha's tend to get a little wierd sometimes.
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I think the man should pay.
I agree....my daughters are only leaving home with "just in case money" that the man will NOT know about. If they return home and had to use the "Just in Case Money", Mr. Date Man will have some explaining to do to MADEAT! ;)
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YEAH I think the man should pay too
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I agree the man should pay. Maybe later a lady can treat a brother for lunch or something. :)
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Jesus Paid It All!
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Jesus Paid It All!
Well, my daughter's dates better not come with that excuse...I might have to slap them into next Tuesday for saying something like that! ;D :D ;D :D
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I think the man should pay.
Yep! This is the way and the truth that will define the relationship or possible relationship. Bishop Cole
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I THINK THAT IF YOU WOMEN ASKS TO GO OUT, BOTH SHOULD PAY THERE OWN EXPENSES. BUT IF THE GUY ASKS TO GO OUT THE GUY SHOULD PAY BOTH EXPENSES.
BUT IF THE RELATIONSHIP IS ON A SERIOUS NOTE, THE MAN SHOULD ALWAYS PAY.
HOLLA
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I have to clarify something. I expect to pay because honestly I don’t expect a woman I’m dating to match me income-wise. It’s not that I make a whole bunch. A woman making more than me just hasn’t happened yet in my experience. Broadly speaking, I think that’s where this tradition of the man paying stems from; the man traditionally makes more money. However, nowadays, women’s salaries approach and oftentimes surpass that of men’s. Personally, I don’t see paying as an obligation of my manhood, but rather an obligation of somebody who makes more. Thus, if a woman I’m dating makes substantially more than me, I would expect her to pay for dinner at least half the time.
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I THINK THAT IF YOU WOMEN ASKS TO GO OUT, BOTH SHOULD PAY THERE OWN EXPENSES. BUT IF THE GUY ASKS TO GO OUT THE GUY SHOULD PAY BOTH EXPENSES.
BUT IF THE RELATIONSHIP IS ON A SERIOUS NOTE, THE MAN SHOULD ALWAYS PAY.
HOLLA
Man if the releationship is serious (like I'm gonna marry this woman kind of serious) then it don't matter who pays.
My wife and I went to college together. She graduated and got a J.O.B with Dunn and Bradstreet. I continued on and got my master's degree. Dude I was broker than broke. We were engaged and I aint gonna lie, sometimes she HAD to treat a bruh. Either that or we was gonna eat Ramen Noodles by candlelight, chasing it down with some grape kool-aid ( light on the sugar).
Nowadays she has the run of all my finances ( because she got it like that). Long as a bruh get to hold 10 dollars every now and then, and I can grab some new basketball shoes every now and then, then I'm good.
jlewis
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Hey Guys...Soooo...Here's my view...
This is trickier than I first thought, let me think this over and I'll post back later
PianoWiz...
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Ummm... whats a date??
I mean, I probably would pay for the both of us, but it's been so long.... whats a date??
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Ummm... whats a date??
I mean, I probably would pay for the both of us, but it's been so long.... whats a date??
Let me familiarize you with the term......
Date - a. An engagement to go out socially with another person, often out of romantic interest. b. One's companion on such an outing.
Now you know! ;D
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Let me familiarize you with the term......
Date - a. An engagement to go out socially with another person, often out of romantic interest. b. One's companion on such an outing.
Now you know! ;D
Oh, is that what that is?? I remember those..... hmmmm.... might have to try that again.
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I think the man should pay but if there are going to be issues and if he s going to "want" something then you should pay for yourself.
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All to HIM I owe. The hymnologist did not say all to HER!
(ok....y'all know i'm just kidding)
If you go out with a woman (this is my personal opinion) and she pays for your meal, you should feel stupid. You are the head, the covering, the PROVIDER! Well, at least that is how I operate in relationships....but then again I get used a lot too. Maybe something does need to change!
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...in my dating days....the woman always paid...they asked me out...and they wanted to pay for everything!.....times have changed a lot!...for the better!
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the man should pay but if it alredy talk about then she pays it dont matter as long as the bill get paid
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I was raised to believe that the guy should pay. But I think it depends on the occasion, like a birthday. Then I Would pay. But otherwise, I was brought up to think that the guy should pay for the date.
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Uriah....PSYCHO BABBLE!
Sorry, I actually missed hearing you say that! My bad!
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Uriah....PSYCHO BABBLE!
Sorry, I actually missed hearing you say that! My bad!
Hilarious itsapeachworld......why did I just get the memo today that we were doing a choir direct-off this past Sunday......I guess I should check my email more often....
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YES! You should! See...that shows right there that you can not take my job....it's more than just waving your hands, son. You gotta read the e-mails too! ;D
Nah....after Bishop Jerod and I talked, I think I'm just going to pass the torch down to you. I like your spirit when it comes to directing and your taste on the post about the favorite songs to direct.
Your passion for directing shows, so I'm gonna step down and just give it to you if you want the position. After all, I'm 33. One more hour long session of "More Abundantly" could set me back for life (and send me into heart failure)!
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YES! You should! See...that shows right there that you can not take my job....it's more than just waving your hands, son. You gotta read the e-mails too! ;D
Nah....after Bishop Jerod and I talked, I think I'm just going to pass the torch down to you. I like your spirit when it comes to directing and your taste on the post about the favorite songs to direct.
Your passion for directing shows, so I'm gonna step down and just give it to you if you want the position. After all, I'm 33. One more hour long session of "More Abundantly" could set me back for life (and send me into heart failure)!
I will gladly accept the position.....let me know when it has been finalized
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You know Bishop Jerod and Bishop Cole specialize in the Ministry of Procrastination....so we'll see.
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I have not even been asked on a date, (I know, it's sad,) but I am already prepared for the fact that if it ever occurs I will be carrying some of that just in case money Sister T was talking about. Some men's intentions are less than holy(yes even some men in the church) and If I find out halfway through dinner that either he never intended to pay or he wants something in return for dinner, I got my money as a backup. How he handles his meal payment is on him, then we are fair and square. And yes I will most likely be taking myself to dinner as well. Trust is the most important factor for that meal to even take place. The less you know, the more you should be prepared for plan B!!
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I will authorize this transition Dr. Peach and Director VTG....I just need one more signature from one of the other Bishops.
You know Bishop Jerod and Bishop Cole specialize in the Ministry of Procrastination....so we'll see.
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Jt, if you were a lil closer to DC I could probably show you the town, but Im not on the market anymore, somebody'll have to fill in for me.
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Jt, if you were a lil closer to DC I could probably show you the town, but Im not on the market anymore, somebody'll have to fill in for me.
so you said all that to say........hahahaha
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That is very kind of you CS. But that is exactly my problem. Usually the men who are kind enough to want to take me out, and sensible enough for me to even accept the invitation are already taken!! I haven't yet found myself in the right place at the right time, but one day I will!
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Jt, if you were a lil closer to DC I could probably show you the town, but Im not on the market anymore, somebody'll have to fill in for me.
Yeah, what was that all about?...lol
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well i guess i'm old school as well.
i firmly believe in the man picking up the tab, whether he asked or not.
but then that's just my opinion on things...
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JT.....times have changed! Men don't expect that in return for dinner much anymore. So you're off the hook. It's when he offers to take you on vacation or buys you something material. For some reason in 2006, food is not a good exchange for "you know" in the eyes of men. But anything that they spend $150 or more on.....RUN...the payoff is probably EXACTLY what you'd expect.
It's been hard (just being honest) to even break MYSELF from that one.
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I'll pray for you brother :)
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There is a difference, though, between saints who date and the dating in the world.
Saints who date do so in integrity. They are getting to know the person, prayerfully seeing if GOD is in this relationship. If they find out that GOD is not in this, then they bring the relationship to a close before someone gets hurt.
It's a matter of boundaries. "Dating," personally I think the man should pay because it sets the tone of who is the covering, who is ultimately the instigator and who is the responder. Now, if other circumstances dictate otherwise and there is a mutual understanding, then that is the two people who are dating to determine.
Personally, I think a man who is proud enough to insist on paying will be proud enough to pay for a home, a car, life insurance and see to it that his family is cared for. (I use the word "proud" here in a good way, meaning "a good self-image") I think it should really bother a man when he can't pay; it motivates him to reach higher. I think that is how we are made; GOD put us like that on purpose so the family can see a picture of how GOD, Our Heavenly Father, wants to provide the best for us.
There should be no "this' for "that" when saints date, or it is whole different ball game . . . . the game of the world, where of course everyone is out to get something because whether they know it or not they are being controlled by the evil one. Then saints give in to the flesh and do a "this" for "that" (whtever the "that" might be) then we are talking about sin, which always will end in death.
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You're right Bboy........but even when saints date, the flesh can get weak. That's why I'm starting to prefer the "Mother Theresa" types that DON'T keep their hair done (all the time), DON'T wear anything but hugely oversized clothes, and DON'T have one ounce of sexiness about them. There's less temptation that way. Everybody isn't in the ADVANCED stages of being able to resist temptation.
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You're right Bboy........but even when saints date, the flesh can get weak. That's why I'm starting to prefer the "Mother Theresa" types that DON'T keep their hair done (all the time), DON'T wear anything but hugely oversized clothes, and DON'T have one ounce of sexiness about them. There's less temptation that way. Everybody isn't in the ADVANCED stages of being able to resist temptation.
Hopefully, she's still somewhat easy to look at.
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SOMEWHAT being the key word...........
You have to know yourself. I know me...and to say it tactfully, the drive is beyond HIGH...so to go on dates with people who are NOT Mother Theresa types is torture to my own self. Praying hard is fine, but when you open your eyes in the middle of the prayer to take another peep - the prayer bounces off the ceiling and doesn't count.
This is how I KNOW that if I don't get married soon, there's gonna be trouble in the land! Mrs. Right, if you are out there (high yellow, long hair, able to KILL a song in C#, etc., etc.) make yourself known. We can get married tomorrow and kill the idea about the peach cake until next year!
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There is a difference, though, between saints who date and the dating in the world.
Saints who date do so in integrity. They are getting to know the person, prayerfully seeing if GOD is in this relationship. If they find out that GOD is not in this, then they bring the relationship to a close before someone gets hurt.
It's a matter of boundaries. "Dating," personally I think the man should pay because it sets the tone of who is the covering, who is ultimately the instigator and who is the responder. Now, if other circumstances dictate otherwise and there is a mutual understanding, then that is the two people who are dating to determine.
Personally, I think a man who is proud enough to insist on paying will be proud enough to pay for a home, a car, life insurance and see to it that his family is cared for. (I use the word "proud" here in a good way, meaning "a good self-image") I think it should really bother a man when he can't pay; it motivates him to reach higher. I think that is how we are made; GOD put us like that on purpose so the family can see a picture of how GOD, Our Heavenly Father, wants to provide the best for us.
There should be no "this' for "that" when saints date, or it is whole different ball game . . . . the game of the world, where of course everyone is out to get something because whether they know it or not they are being controlled by the evil one. Then saints give in to the flesh and do a "this" for "that" (whtever the "that" might be) then we are talking about sin, which always will end in death.
I would have phrased it differently, saints dating SHOULD do so in integrity. From what I've seen and heard many saved people dont know how to date differently from how the world views dating and thats sad, sad when the church or the redeemed or the saved folk cant be separated from the world except they go to church on sundays(sometimes). I dunno, when I was in the youth group at my church they had a series on "dating" and I came to a somewhat extreme view on dating(cant say I always stick to it though, cause as peach said the flesh gets weak) but thats just me. Everything else you said regarding the provision a man is to make for his wife and family was defintiely on point
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It is better to marry than to burn....and a fat guy can only outrun a lit match for so far!
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The man pays, the woman pays, who cares as long as the tab is being paid?
I feel if the woman asks, be prepared to pay. If the man asks, be prepared to pay. When you get together or before you get together, you should both decide together who is going to pay so there is no surprise once you get there.
The man is not the head until he is married, so you can cut out that whole "the man is the head" crap. This is dating, not marriage so nobody is obligated to do or pay for anything.
JUST MY OPINION GUYS AND GIRLS!!!!
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The man pays, the woman pays, who cares as long as the tab is being paid?
I feel if the woman asks, be prepared to pay. If the man asks, be prepared to pay. When you get together or before you get together, you should both decide together who is going to pay so there is no surprise once you get there.
The man is not the head until he is married, so you can cut out that whole "the man is the head" crap. This is dating, not marriage so nobody is obligated to do or pay for anything.
JUST MY OPINION GUYS AND GIRLS!!!!
you da man t block, now that's what im talkin bout rat thur!!!
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Talk about it....
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Talk about it....
i dun did dat on page 1
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You know Christians.....we can hear the same thing every Sunday but we act like it was the first time we heard it
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I always thought dating was like "Easter practice". Getting ready for the finale. But that's just my view.
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I think it's sweet when the man pays. I've never paid for a date and I want to keep it that way. I grew up in a family where the men paid the cost to be the boss. That's how I like it.
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Boss? In 2006! Man, if we said that to the right woman, we'd get shot in precious places in a heartbeat. "I pay the cost to be the.....BOOOM!"
"lawd...he sho' was a good man".....
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being the boss used to mean something back in the day. now everybody's seen those Madea plays and......well u know the story.
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i really didn't even have to read the other replies i saw the topic and had to straightway answers hands down no questions asked the man pays..... i would feel very weird if my girlfriend payed for anythign for me... if a female did pay for anythgi nfor me we would have to sit down and figure out who was paying for what before we left to go out....now i'm going to go back and read the rest fothe post
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i really didn't even have to reas the other eplies i saw the topic and had to straightway answers hands down no questions asked the man pays..... i would feel very weird if my girlfriend payed for anythign for me... if a female did pay for anythgi nfor me we would have to sit down and figure out who was paying for what before we left to go out....now i'm going to go back and read the rest fothe post
My girlfriend and I alternate, and it works for us. Straight-forward and to the point. She respects me, I respect her and it's a done deal!!! ;)
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Alternating always works
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The man pays. With the gentleman I'm dating now, that's never been a question or issue~he's an old school man with old fashioned values. I don't mind paying for lunch every now & then (just 'cause I love him! ;) )
He & I found it kinda funny that this is even an issue ???.......but we can't assume everyone was brought up the same way with the same values.
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LOL you are funny. I'm from the South (Louisiana) and that's how we do it. Now I live in Illinois and the few men I have dated up here think it's cool I'm the way I am. I'm young, yet old fashion.
Boss? In 2006! Man, if we said that to the right woman, we'd get shot in precious places in a heartbeat. "I pay the cost to be the.....BOOOM!"
"lawd...he sho' was a good man".....
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Boss? In 2006! Man, if we said that to the right woman, we'd get shot in precious places in a heartbeat. "I pay the cost to be the.....BOOOM!"
"lawd...he sho' was a good man".....
HAHAHAHA :D :D :D :D :D
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I'll say this.... If some dude was talkin' about dating my nieces or my daughter if i have one and I heard that he expected her to pay for anything, he had better not show up at my house...as a dad or uncle I dont know how long it would take me to trust someone to provide for her for a lifetime if he wont spring for dinner and a movie or something. This is not to say that Ladies should be able to take care of themselves if needed, but you know.... ::) ::)
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that's easy........The man should pay for the entire courtship.and then some, if he's to take the leadership role. you pay the cost to be the boss.