I need some quick advice

[wossman2004]

I am the minister of music at a church and I had a choir member that decided that she was going to sing a song for easter as a solo and I didn't want the song as a solo. So while I was telling the choir that she decided that she wanted to do it as a solo anyway. So to keep the confusion and to keep from me causing a seen in rehearsal I changed the song. She said that she was going to do it anyway whether it was on program or not for Easter Sunday. Easter Sunday she did the song while I was playing I love you lord,today for Invitation to Discipleship. So while I was playing I love you lord, today. She started singing that song. So there was 2 different songs going on. So now I have to address the choir about her action and tell her in front of everybody that first of all she owes the choir an apology for her actions in rehearsal, for her out bursts I should say. And then I have to let the Choir know that whatever we go over in rehearsal is what is to be song. But this is what I need to know. I need advice on how to talk to the choir, being that this is the first time I've had a problem like this, I need to know what to do about her actions? What options should I give to her as forth as if she does this again? I need advice about this all the way around. Any little advice will help... help me please...

[sjonathan02]

I am the minister of music at a church and I had a choir member that decided that she was going to sing a song for easter as a solo and I didn't want the song as a solo. So while I was telling the choir that she decided that she wanted to do it as a solo anyway. So to keep the confusion and to keep from me causing a seen in rehearsal I changed the song. She said that she was going to do it anyway whether it was on program or not for Easter Sunday. Easter Sunday she did the song while I was playing I love you lord,today for Invitation to Discipleship. So while I was playing I love you lord, today. She started singing that song. So there was 2 different songs going on. So now I have to address the choir about her action and tell her in front of everybody that first of all she owes the choir an apology for her actions in rehearsal, for her out bursts I should say. And then I have to let the Choir know that whatever we go over in rehearsal is what is to be song. But this is what I need to know. I need advice on how to talk to the choir, being that this is the first time I've had a problem like this, I need to know what to do about her actions? What options should I give to her as forth as if she does this again? I need advice about this all the way around. Any little advice will help... help me please...

Ask your Pastor. Find out where his mindset is on this issue and go from there.

Also, as the head of the Grammar League, it is my duty to inform you that when you post on LGM, it is better to use paragraphs in order to break up thoughts and give readers' eyes a chance to rest between sentences.

Be Blessed. 

[uniquepraise]

Ask your Pastor. Find out where his mindset is on this issue and go from there.

Also, as the head of the Grammar League, it is my duty to inform you that when you post on LGM, it is better to use paragraphs in order to break up thoughts and give readers' eyes a chance to rest between sentences.

Be Blessed. 

I agree. Talk to your Pastor and it may be best for him to address the issue. It was out of order

[bradleymoorer]

I agree. Talk to your Pastor and it may be best for him to address the issue. It was out of order

  PRAY, PRAY, PRAY...and absolutely talk to your Pastor, as far as getting your Pastor involved, I would try to handle it yourself for the most part and try to get the matter resolved at the lowest level.

As far as what to say: let her know that you have been placed in this position of authority and that she needs to respect that because. If she does not respect that then she is basically disrespecting the Pastor of the Church and that cannot be tolerated. And if all else fails and she continues to be disrespectful then she has gotz to go!

I have always been taught to praise in public and rebuke in private so I would talk to her on the side and not bring the rest of the choir in on what is going on, now if she says something to prompt a response during rehearsal, then you have no other choice but to rebuke that spirit of rebellion. Let her know that her actions were highly inappropriate and at such a critical juncture in the service. Are main objectives in Ministry is to win souls to Christ, and any confusion can be a hindrance. 

I am sure that your Pastor was wondering what was going on,  did he ask you about it? 

[Holy Roller]

I have never heard of such outrageous behavior and I've never seen it. What was the Leadership of the church doing ??? where were they?
WHY didn't they correct it right then ?

Is your church small ?

Are you young ?

Is this Person Use to manipulation and forcing their way ?

My advice to you is, If you are young, You need to befriend the older members who are influencial and perhaps get a respected mother in the choir or church that you could fall back on in a crisis.

[MrSparrow]

Set up a meeting with her, type up EVERYTHING that happened and ask her in writing to never pull that mess again. Send your pastor a copy and have her sign your copy to verify that she recieved it. Make sure you type in there that if she violates decorum again, she will forfeit her membership in the music ministry as a whole until further notice.

What she did was wrong but remember there is a spiritual/control issue going on with her. "We wrestle not against flesh and blood..."

Although I agree with Holy Roller that your Pastor/Elder SOMEBODY should have shut her down immeadiately you need to talk with your Pastor/Overseer and find out what HE'S going to do the next time that happens.

That has never happened to me but if it did, that would be the way I would handle it.

MrSparrow

[sjonathan02]

Set up a meeting with her, type up EVERYTHING that happened and ask her in writing to never pull that mess again. Send your pastor a copy and have her sign your copy to verify that she recieved it. Make sure you type in there that if she violates decorum again, she will forfeit her membership in the music ministry as a whole until further notice.

What she did was wrong but remember there is a spiritual/control issue going on with her. "We wrestle not against flesh and blood..."

Although I agree with Holy Roller that your Pastor/Elder SOMEBODY should have shut her down immeadiately you need to talk with your Pastor/Overseer and find out what HE'S going to do the next time that happens.

That has never happened to me but if it did, that would be the way I would handle it.

MrSparrow

And when, not if but WHEN, they refuse to sign the document? 

If this spirit is THAT bold, then NO type of document is going to stop them. She probably won't even read it.

[saxandkeys]

I am the minister of music at a church and I had a choir member that decided that she was going to sing a song for easter as a solo and I didn't want the song as a solo. So while I was telling the choir that she decided that she wanted to do it as a solo anyway. So to keep the confusion and to keep from me causing a seen in rehearsal I changed the song. She said that she was going to do it anyway whether it was on program or not for Easter Sunday. Easter Sunday she did the song while I was playing I love you lord,today for Invitation to Discipleship. So while I was playing I love you lord, today. She started singing that song. So there was 2 different songs going on. So now I have to address the choir about her action and tell her in front of everybody that first of all she owes the choir an apology for her actions in rehearsal, for her out bursts I should say. And then I have to let the Choir know that whatever we go over in rehearsal is what is to be song. But this is what I need to know. I need advice on how to talk to the choir, being that this is the first time I've had a problem like this, I need to know what to do about her actions? What options should I give to her as forth as if she does this again? I need advice about this all the way around. Any little advice will help... help me please...

Here is what I'd do......

At the beginning of the next rehearsal....(with your pastors permission)....state Your view of what happened and YOUR opinion of what should be the solution...open the floor for comments...and then make your decision (take a week if you need it to decide).

[MrSparrow]

And when, not if but WHEN, they refuse to sign the document? 

If this spirit is THAT bold, then NO type of document is going to stop them. She probably won't even read it.

SJon you just note in front of that person refuses to sign in front of that person...

MrSparrow

[brodonny]

i would let the pastor handle telling the choir and addressing it because sometimes people are ignorant an if you tried to address it she could have something smart back to say(the devil is busy).then they're going to be words,so tell the pastor an ask him or her to address the choir be blessed

[MrSparrow]

Has the issue been resolved???

MrSparrow