Saxman,
Back in 1998' this girl put out that my boyfriend (my husband now) was the father of her unborn child. You know when I heard that news I was in shock, words can't describe what kind of shape I was in. I couldn't eat, sleep, think straight, take care of our child, etc. I was a total mess. The girl had the child in May of 1999', during her whole pregnancy she would come on my job and just pick with me. At the time I worked at a grocery store...anyway, she would come in with her cousins & just pick with me.(her & her cousins) I never said anything back to her, due to I was at my place of employment, I needed a job. But, after she had the baby she continued to come on my job & pick with me. Oneday, I took all I could..I grabbed the girl by her throat while she was holding the baby in her arms. It was a quick reflex & my temper was on overload. Anyway, my coworkers pulled me off her & she left my job. But, continued to pick whenever she saw me. Okay, in Feb. of 1999' me & my boyfriend got married, yes I married him knowing that the girl said her baby was his & yes I knew what I was having to go thru already. He requested a DNA test in Aug. 1999', she refused to go take it, she had to be made to go take it. The girl aunt worked at the Childsupport Enforcement which happens to be where we took the test. The girl on the same day the test was taken went around telling people...my aunt told me not to worry about nothing..she would take care of everything. But, before my husband took the 1st DNA test, childsupport told him. If he didn't agree with the findings that he could have another test done. The results were 98.99% positive. So, you can imagine how I felt...I didn't know that's what her aunt meant when she said she would take care of everything. Well, after the test was taken & the results were back the mother did nothing else to pursue any money. I had my 2nd child Sept. 2000', that's when the girl wanted my husband to start paying her childsupport. Didn't any paperwork come thru the mail warning us, when we knew anything they (Childsupport Enforcement) was garnishing my husband check for $74.80 a wk....that's $299.20 a mth. Since Sept. 00' up until now my husband have been paying childsupport & covering the child on his insurance at work. During this whole time the mother has been receiving food stamps, medicade, AFDC & TEA. On TEA, the Dept. of Human Services help you get a car if you mantain a job. Well, she got a job long enought to get the car, Dept. of Human Services pay your downpayment on the car & your sale taxes to get the tags for the car & the car is in your name. Like I said...once she got the car, she quit the job. Thru TEA, she has gotten 3 cars. Me & my husband have reported her to Childsupport Enforcement & Dept. of Human Services, but to this day...they have done nothing. Now, in Mar. 03' she took my husband to court saying she wants an increase in childsupport. Instead of, getting $74.80 a wk....she wants $85.00 a wk. That's $425.00 a mth. She was granted the judgement..but before we (my husband & I) went to court. I prayed that God would touch the judge heart & grant my husband another test. After the judge ruled that my husband pay her $85.00 a wk...he sat there for about 2 mins. & said Mr.______ it was brought to my attention that you would like to have another DNA test done. Is that correct? My husband said, "yes sir." The judge said, "okay, I'll grant you another DNA test, but it will have to be a your very own expense & you will have to get your own attorney to represent you." My husband said again, "yes sir." Me & my husband both know we don't have the money to hire an attorney or pay for a 2nd DNA test. And now, I work at the courthouse & my office deal with taking childsupport payments. So, I started planting seeds & naming them. (God give us the money for an attorney & for a 2nd DNA test) Well, we found an attorney that required $300 retainer fee. We paid our retainer fee & the attorney served her with a summons for her to take the child & have a repeated DNA test. Reason for another test is because his stepbrother could be the father of the child or her mother husband. But, my husband is the only one who has ever been tested for the child...the other two won't get tested. And to top it all off the mother don't want to have the child retested. Every time I sow a seed of faith, I always have someone come along & try to speak negative on my seed inwhich I have planted. My husband family, even his own parents tell me to just get over it & accept the child. Their all quick to say that now, but I wonder if the shoe was on the other foot would they be so quick as to follow the advice their giving me? It's a reason why I can't accept the child & it's not just cause my husband got another woman pregnant. It's a reason why the girl don't want her child to be test at another facility, it's a reason why the other two men don't want to be tested. When I plant seeds I ask God for uncommon favor, I ask God for a negative result DNA test, for the money to take the test, for the money to pay the attorney, for a forgiving heart, for strength to endure this trial, for the strength to take the picking the girl do when she see me in public, for the strength to endure the criticism I get from his family & other people at know of the situation. I hear over & over all the time...why did you marry him & you knew all this before you married him. Yes, I did. But, we can't help who we love. About 3 wks. ago, my husband lost his job. So, now he's not able to pay the girl any childsupport. And in the state I live in, if you don't pay childsupport, you go to jail. How can my husband pay childsupport & he don't even have a job. I'm the only one working in the household. My husband don't even draw unemployment. I just feel like God has forgotten about me. I'm going thru so much right now, trying to pay all the bills on my own, without help from nobody. I don't borrow money from anybody. Why? Because, I'm the lender, not the borrower. I try so hard to walk by faith & not by sight. It just get so hard sometimes. I'm trying so hard to trust God, believe He's having me to go thru all this for a reason. But, everyday just gets harder & harder for me to endure. I'm continuing to plant seeds every chance I get & I'm naming my seeds I sow. I pled the blood of Jesus over the child & its mother. I pray for the child & its mother...I ask God to create in me a clean heart, give me the strength to forgive the mother & the child. I use to think bad thoughts on the child & mother. But, I ask God to take all that away from me & he did. Yet & still I'm hurt about the whole situation still. :You don't know how many times I've wished all of this never had happened, but it did. What the reason? I do not know. I just feel like God allowed her to steal my joy. I had so much joy inside me until all this happen. When I read the part you said about, "restore the joy that once flooded our soul"....when? When will I ever get all that I lost back? It's like God is blessing her & punishing me & my family. And his family & others don't think that the girl is in the wrong. They all say, since it happened before you & ____ got married. It shouldn't matter, you should have gotten over that. I don't understand how they think I should be over anything....when they didn't go thru wheat I went thru. You don't know how a person feel until you go thru what they went thru. So, I guess my question to you is....how can I get my joy back? What advice would you give.
Trina :cry:
