FOREST GUMP
> The day finally arrived:
>Forest Gump dies and goes to Heaven.
> He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself.
>However, the gates are closed and Forest approaches the Gatekeeper.
>St. Peter says,
>"Well, Forest, it's certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about
>you.
>I must tell you, though, that the place is filling up fast,
>and we've been administering an entrance examination for everyone.
>The test is short, but you have to pass it before you can get into Heaven
>.."
>Forest responds,
>"It sure is good to be here St. Peter, sir.
>But nobody ever told me about any entrance exam. Sure hope the test isn't
>too hard;
> life was a big enough test as it was."
>St. Peter goes on,
>"Yes, I know, Forest, but the test is only three questions.
> First: What two days of the week begin with the letter T?
>Second: How many seconds are there in a year?
> Third: What is God's first name?"
> Forest leaves to think the questions over.
>He returns the next day and sees St. Peter who waves him up and says,
>"Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your
>answers."
>Forest says,
>"Well, the first one -- which two days in the week begin with the letter
>'T?"
> Shucks, that one's easy. That'd be Today and Tomorrow."
>The Saint's eyes open wide and he exclaims,
>"Forest, that's not what I was thinking, but you do have a point,
>and I guess I didn't specify, so I'll give you credit for that answer.
> How about the next one?"
>asks St. Peter.
>"How many seconds in a year?"
>"Twelve."
>Astounded, St. Peter says,
>"Twelve? Twelve!?
>Forest, how in Heaven's name could you come up with twelve seconds in a
>year?"
>Forest says
>"Shucks, there's gotta be twelve:
>January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd..."
>"Hold it,
>" interrupts St. Peter.
> "I see where you're going with this
> and I see your point, though that wasn't quite what I had in mind.....
>but I'll have to give you credit for that one, too.
> Let's go on with the third and final question. Can you tell me God's
>first
>name"?
> "Sure"
>Forest replied,
>"its Andy."
> Andy?!"
>exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St. Peter.
> "Ok.............
>I can understand how you came up with your answers to my first two
>questions,
>but just how in the world did you come up with the name Andy as the first
>name of God?"
> "Shucks, that was the easiest one of all,"
>Forest replied.
> "I learnt it from the song...
>"ANDY WALKS WITH ME,
>ANDY TALKS WITH ME,
>ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN. . . ."
>St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates and said:
>"Run Forest, run".