I can really identify with you on that! The church where I grew up in Los Angeles was (and still is) conservative, especially with the music. Ironically, it's where I was given the first opportunity to play in church. I started playing there when I was around 13 or 14 and continued on until I was about 18. I learned a lot, but I hit the peak of what I could learn and do in church after about 2 years or so.
It became increasingly frustrating attempting to compete with the pipe organist, and having drums in the church was completely taboo. They once spent almost an entire board meeting arguing whether or not I could bring a drummer in for a guest choir!!!! They have a Hammond that just collects dust, and they once did "Total Praise" to the accompaniament of the pipe organ while that perfectly good Hammond/Leslie setup was just a few steps away!!!! It was horror to my ears!!!
The current pastor (who was pastor when I left) came in with an extreme right arm, and he and I definitely didn't get along. It was a good thing I left when I did. It's sad because the youth population was slim when I left 3 years ago, and has just become slimmer. I visited once last December and couldn't even bring myself to sit through the entire service.
It wasn't until I moved to Florida when I finally got the chance to expand my skills and play more freely. The church I'm at now is somewhere between conservative and liberal since we're a collegiate church.
If I were to move back to LA (or visit there for any extended period of time), I would not play for that church, just like you say, because it's too conservative and I'd stomp on more than a few toes. I feel your pain, but I can't offer any advice on what to do. I'm a stubborn person, so I would push the envelope anyhow, but you have to be sure you have political support (yes, I said political) where it counts or you'll be crushed instantaneously. First and foremost, you have to be led by the Holy Spirit and not your own interests. Politically, you need to have the pastor (if he has enough political clout) and some other key individuals like the minister of music on your side. Talk to members to see what they want and ease new things in step by step.