Trying To Save My Virginity. HELP!!

[evangelist215]

I love you BBoy!!!

[BBoy]

You are all so wonderful and precious in God's sight and to the body. God is dealing with me right now on "healthy boundaries," and it is a real eye opener. Sometimes we in churches are so hurt because of lack of healthy boundaries. I think this is part of the key.

Oh, yes . . . we are going to keep on encouraging each other, praying for each other and lifting each other up . . . we'll keep on sharing what God has given us, until Jesus comes back for us. And yes, THIS SISTER ON THIS THREAD WILL MAKE IT!

Be Blessed . . .   :lol:

BBoy  

[BBoy]

Oh, and I love you too, Sis Evangelist 215!

 :lol:

I read all the scriptures that were suggested to me and read the posts over and over.  Everything was a comfort.  Knowing you all care about me and my perdicament and are prayerful about it.  I really did not expect to get such a response.  I thought people would shy away from this subject for some reason.  Please don't ask me why :roll: , I just did.

I appreciate each and every last one of you for your outpour of love, support, encouragement and prayers.  I felt a little upset today about a relating issue so I came straight here to read the posts and felt better right away.  I thank all of you, but there is one who I would like to thank personally.  BBoy, you know I am talking about you.  I went straight to your first post and all the negative vibes I had melted away.  Thank you for being who you are.  You are a wonderful person.

I send huggs, kisses and all kinds of love to all of you.  You are all my angels.

Love Always,

Me    

[BBoy]

Know that we all care about ya, Sister.   Remember, God gave YOU the power over your own life so you could glorify Him. Don't give that power to ANYBODY else unless they make covenant with GOD first and then you that they will care for you, love you and treat you like the daughter of God that you are.  

If they won't do that, tell them to get lost.  :wink:

Yes, Sisters should say this in church. It's completely acceptable, and sometimes necessary.

Be Blessed, vessel of God . . . . your own special blessing is on the way, and you'll be SO GLAD you made the right choice!  :lol:

[jayjay]

I'm no expert, but giving it up has never got a man and if it did - it didn't keep him for long. Don't cast your pearl before the swine. Save your time, energy and virginity.  That way when the right brother does come along- and he will-you can lay it down right to him.  I pray that he'll be a brother who may be hold'n on too.  That way you can find out together.  If he does have  experience then maybe he can be a good teacher to you and bring you through right.  Oh yeah, get married first.  Peace

[TLJACKSON]

Hi you all.  Well I just want to comment on this thread.  I am a 21 year old female and I'm still a virgin.  I only had one real boyfriend and we broke up a year ago.  But all I want to say is, you can hold on to what God has given you which is your virginity.  I promised the Lord that I'm going to save myself for that special someone and I know the temptation out there is strong and the peer-pressure, but look at it this way, GOOD THINGS COME TO THOSE WHO WAIT.  Now I'm not trying to say that it's only for virgins but anybody in any situation.  Wait on the Lord and let him have complete control over your life.  I know God has someone special for me and you and everyone who's not yet married.  Just wait.  Keep praying and stay in your bible because it will give you strength.  It helped me out in MANY situations and it will help you. Much Love...

[reginald79]

Hello, Sister. Boy, I really admire your courage in admitting something like this. First of all, don't feel like you are alone here . . . you were courageous enough to admit it, but many people are struggling in that area.

You say you have never had what you would call a real boyfriend, but you are in your mid twenties. You act like that is something to be ashamed of, but it isn't. Now I want you to listen very carefully. THAT TELLS ME THAT YOU HAVE A RICH AND DEEP PERSONALITY, AND GOD ISN'T ALLOWING ANY STUPID MAN TO JUST COME IN AND WRECK WHAT HE HAS PLACED IN YOU.

If I were hungry and didn't want anything special, I'd just go and get a burger at a McDonald's. It's quick, it's cheap and I'm in and out of there in ten minutes. There are no dishes to wash, nothing to clean up. I can snap at the cashier if they aren't quick enough, throw down my money on the counter, and whine about not getting enough ketchup, because at McDonald's it is all about ME. But if I want something special, a special steak cooked just right, I have to plan and wait. I have to go to the supermarket and get meat, seasonings, potatoes, lettuce for a salad, and some desert. I have to clear an afternoon to cook, and I have to apply some skill. I have to invite guests, and they won't be just anybody, either. Afterwards, I have to clean up and wash dishes and . . . you get the idea.

You, sister, are like that steak dinner. Please don't be offended by this analogy, I'm not objectifying women . . . I'm just trying to make a point. God has made you that way. Anyone who is not willing to make a plan, put forth some effort, apply some skill and live right . . . tell him to get lost. (Yes, sisters . . . you can do this. Don't feel like you aren't walking in love if you tell a "brother"  :roll:  to leave you alone. It will get some of the playahs outta the church)

Now, there are several single, saved brothers in the church who love God with all of their heart and are looking and praying for the one God sends along for them. The problem is, these brothers too are steak dinners and there are a lot of sisters who want a steak, but they don't want to put any time into the preparation.  :wink: They want him already wealthy, already all together, already the pastor of a two-thousand member church, already driving a Lexus and vacationing in Europe one year and the Carribean Islands the next, etc. They want him handsome, athletic, educated, rich and already sensitive to all of their needs with nothing to learn. But if he were already all of that, then why would he need any help? Looks to me like he's doing great on his own!

So to wrap this up, Sister, know that you are something special. Special things are put aside for special purposes. God has someone wonderful, just for you. YOU CAN BE GUARANTEED OF THIS! God wouldn't have placed the desire to be a godly "helper" in you if He did not plan to join you to one of His special sons.

Now, you brought this up, and I don't mean to shock anyone, but here we go. That thing that you want to save, it can only be given once. Don't let any "deep" person tell you it will be alright. . . what you wrote in about,
your virtue, can only be given ONCE to ONE person. You will want that person to be the man God selected for you. You don't want to give that up in sin to someone that doesn't care about you. Wait on God, and it will be something speacial that both of you can remember and cherish before God, as the first time you were actually ONE, and God was pleased because you were both in His Will.

 If you don't wait, it won't be a private memory to be cherished between you and your new husband . . . it will be a sin to be forgotten. This, saints, is much more tragic than we teach young people.  

Even Christians who made that mistake and were forgiven will tell you that they wish with all their heart that would have saved themselves for the person that they love and were meant to build a destiny with. And no married man cares about you. Tell him to get lost, and if he doesn't leave you alone tell him that you will tell the pastor AND his wife.  THAT should cool his heels.  :wink:

Now we care about you, so pray and, if you can, private message a wise sister who can give you godly counsel without everyone else reading in, okay? We love you in the LORD.

Be Blessed!

BBoy  

wuz up my brother in Christ .You are so rigth. I thank God that there are so real brother out.that is some good spiritual advice .  

your brither in Christ

WOW  8O !!! More love and encouragement? Ya'll are too much.  Thank you again to everyone before and the more resent people who responded to my post.  But, not only those who responded but also those who chose not to and prayed for me on their own.  I thank you all as well.  I thank God for every last one of you.

To those who are in my position.........just do what I do and read the posts as often as you need to.  The things that these wonderful people have said lifts me up when I feel I am going down in spirit about this and it WILL do the same for you too.  

More Huggs & Kisses 2 All.  I Love You!!!

Me    

[bug]

America is full of pregnant black girls. America has a large number of young black women who have babies and have never been married. I can't believe that you can't find any single young men. You say amarried guy talked to you. Its good that resisted him. I hope you have a moral standard in place. The bible and God are clear on what you should do pray for understanding and guidance. The Lord will reveal His plan for your life. Take a stand! You will find a single man, who is responsible, and get married. Then you can fulfill your wifely obligations. I don't want you to be a statistic. Be strong in the Lord. Be of good courage. Have the courage to change the things you can...............bug

[guitarlady37]

Hello,
   How are you? I have read your prayer request, and I feel that you have done great by not falling into sin.  Never ever feel bad about doing the right thing. Iam 36year old, but will be 37on july 25th. Iam single, I have never been married, I had a son at age20 before I got saved. When I got saved I went threw a whole lot. Men will try to pull you down, you have to be watchful and prayerful even with the men in the church as well.
Real love means wait and Lust means now. A real man of God will not want you to lower your standards, and have sex with you.
In being single, you have to find your place in the body of christ to stay busy and do God's will. Get your mind off of a mate. Because if God have something for you, you will get, nobody can ever stop God. Be happy being single. You can really give yourself over to God in a mighty way.
He can use you for his glory if you stay close to him, How do you get that closeness with God, well threw FASTING AND PRAYING. Go on some special fasts. 3 days and nights, when the Lord leads you to, or from 6:ooam in the morning to 6:00p.m. Monday and Wednesday and Friday, I mean really go into your room and pray and seek God. And don't let anyone know what you are doing because the Lord who sees in secret will reward in the open. You are very special more than you really know. Be encouraged and write me back. I will be praying for you. And remember don't give in no matter what.  And don't ever get alone with a brother, seek God and he will keep you and guide you . I love you and have faith in you, that you will hold out until that right time. I did wrong before I got saved , but God blessed me to have a better life. I went threw so things, but Iam alright now. May  God forever keep you and bless you.
Your Saved Sister In Christ Guitarlady37

[dentist]

of course sexual irresponsibility and unsafe sex are a bad thing for obvious reasons, and of course, dating a married man is a recipe for trouble, as you'd be imposing yourself into a relationship and people will get hurt, but here are a couple of comments about the cult of virginity that is alive and well.

when people didn't know how to make sure that this kid or that kid was their son and grandson, (no DNA tests) and property was passed on from generation to generation, people wanted to make sure that their patrimony went to their own family. The cult of virginity developed to cover this need. this way a woman would be kept a virgin by cultural and family pressure and only be with her married husband and that way the children's lineage would be assured. the sexual compatibility of the couple, or even the understanding of sex was completely ignored through this process.

a sorry side effect from the cult of virginity is the way in which protecting the chastity of a girl allowed for her to be kept in a subservient position in her family.  a sort of house-family slave. wome are still struggling to be on equal footing with men!

the importance of virginity is ultimately negligible. what is important is growing personally and spiritually with your mate, building a solid sense of worth in yourself and those around you and establishing a healthy environment in which to grow old with your family.

stay away from married guys that are bored. that's a recipe for disaster.

but otherwise trust god and everything that he put in you. if you have trust and faith you're incapable of deliberate sin. if you give up your virginity you will lose not only that awkwardness and fear and confusion you may have, but you'll also realize that there is so much more that you should be considering in a mate.

be mindful of your sexual health, (STDs)
your responsibility with sex (children and procreation)
and your emotional helath (ever heard of a broken heart?)

that's what's important, not the outdated cult of virginity.
i'll be praying for you

/dentist

[BBoy]

WHAT!  8O

Let me point you towards Scripture, whoever you are. The Bible says that fornication (sexual relations outside of marriage) is a sin. That's Scripture . . .

And if you clearly go against Scripture, never mind "praying"  :roll: for the dear saint who had the courage to post this . . . or anybody else, for that matter.

I just take comfort in the fact that anyone who is struggling in this area is I am sure sophisticated enough spiritually to know better than that.

[bug]

Priests and Nuns take a vow of celebacy. The current news would leave you to believe that the priests have taken leave of their senses.  I don't believe that all priests have broken their vows. I don't know of any nuns who have broken their vows to God. Adam and Eve in the garden knew God, very well. I feel His presence, sometimes He is very close. Then I get showered with a very pleasant sensation.  It is very real. Other times He is distant. However He is always there, whether I feel His presence or not. After Adam and Eve commited original sin. They must have felt cut-off from God. That is what I fear most, loss of my support system. Christians have ups and downs. Being a Christian does not mean that everything is going to be alright from then on. When you are saved and you live right, you have a reassurance that God has your back. If you decide to give up your virginity. I don't think you are going to like the feeling that follows, if you are not married. You will probably feel cut-off from God if you are a true believer in spirit and in truth. That is a bad feeling. Adam and Eve must have experienced it.  It is SIN.and probably some guilt, because you are a free moral agent. You are an adult. You know what you are doing. You are not a child. Lonely little sinner, all alone easy pickings for the ugly one. I would wait if I were you until you are legally married. What God has joined together. Let no man put assunder. There are many men and women who have never had sex, and lived long healthy productive lives.  If that should be your fate, then so be it. What a blessing to be a later day saint. Stay busy. Stay strong.

[daughterofchrist]

Sister that's NOT the only thing your good for.  I too have  been in that same situation.  You just hold tight to God's word because it is so true.  Read 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8 and maybe that will help.  I'll pray for you sister.  Continue to be strong in the Lord and rebuke Satan every chance you get.

Love, Daughter of Christ

[divinemusician]

Well, you ladies nowadays have no common sense, no self love, no integrity and no connection with God. And I believe that's why you feel confused at the moment. I'd suggest you pray God for these things and that will help you in your journey.

HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT ABOUT US WOMEN, WELL YOU MEN ONLY WANT ONE THING, I WOULD BE A FOOL TO SAY THAT ABOUT MEN. THAT IS NO ADVISE THAT IS MESS. YOU COULD HAVE KEPT THAT TO YOURSELF. it is hard to keep yourself. everybody wants to tell you to "pray" nothing wrong with praying but it is deeper than that. Ask God to send you friends that you can truly talk to. Tell God exactly what you want in a man, before jumping in the relationship be their friend, that will tell you a lot, nd pray and ask God to show you what that person is about. do look at the pysical side of them, the devil is going to temp you with this because he knows it is your weakness. Wha i would also say is (this worked for me) I surrouned myself with "true" men and women of God and I found that my mind stayed off of things that was out of God's will. and when my flesh did rise I knew that I didn't need to watch certain thngs or listen (conversation, etc) to certian things or people. ya feel. me this is a hard topic for people but my best advise is don't give in (easier said than done huh)

You know what?  I just want to thank everyone for all of the support and prayers that went up for me.  Yes,  I was the one who posted this topic.  I was hiding myself so I would not be embarrassed.  But, I see now that there is nothing to be embarrassed about.  I am feeling and going through what many others have gone through .  I am not the first to feel this way and I will not be the last.

Thank all of you for everything.  You just don't understand how much I appreciate this site and those who are apart of it.  I feel so good ya'll...............so good.  Thank God for you all.  Thank God that I found this place.  I know God led me here for a reason, and I am glad he did.  I know now that I am not alone in this.  You know you are not alone in things deep down, but you just need to be shown sometimes that others are going through it just as you are, and it's ok.

It is amazing to me that people are still responding to this.  The outpour of love and support is incredible and I am feeling it even more at this very moment.  Thank you everybody.  

Luv 2 Luv Ya,

Precious