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Author Topic: Interpersonal distance  (Read 342 times)

Offline Mysteryman

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Interpersonal distance
« on: November 14, 2006, 01:32:43 AM »
I was at church yesterday and I was thinking about personal space. I found a website on this.
http://www.dushkin.com/connectext/psy/ch15/intdis.mhtml

Here is a excerpt:
     Intimate distance is from 0 to 1.5 feet. What can be done at this close range? Vision is minimal, and we rely on our senses of smell and touch. Making love or comforting someone are intimate activities, usually restricted to private encounters, which can be performed comfortably at intimate distances. We tend not to get this close to people we are not intimate with, and usually try to escape if we do.

     Personal distance is from about 1.5 feet to around 4 feet. At this distance, touch is minimal (except perhaps when shaking hands), and vision and hearing become important. This is the distance we use to interact with friends. Within this range, normal conversations can take place easily. We might allow strangers into the outer limits, but reserve the inner limits strictly for friends.


This dude was a choir director and would not stay in the personal distance range. Not to be mean but I am getting a little tired of the suspect dudes. I was trying to figure out a polite way to say you are to close. A group of the church folks went out to dinner and they all knew each other I was there. Every one was saying how good I played in service. This dude was standing up and put his hand on my shoulder. He is supposed to be a preacher too. I was getting ready to embarass this dude preacher or no preacher. I was thinking this dude is leading people's children.

I have had this happen a long time ago with a sister. She was talking and was a little close. I stepped back and she stepped forward talking. I know she was unconsciously doing that. Im a nice guy by nature but my level of patience with people is starting to wear thin. How do you all deal with people getting to close in your personal space?
Vision without action is just day dreaming. I miss practicing.

Offline elio

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Re: Interpersonal distance
« Reply #1 on: November 14, 2006, 01:54:17 AM »
How do you all deal with people getting to close in your personal space?

Onions. Lots of them.

Offline B3Wannabe

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Re: Interpersonal distance
« Reply #2 on: November 14, 2006, 02:05:02 AM »
I put the dukes up and say "BACK UP OFF ME! GIMME 50 FEET!"....


I don't have that issue any more though. The last time was from the dude here on LGM! Dude was trying to talk to me on the old LGM Messenger! I had to hold my wife back! I feel violated just thinking about what was going through this dude's head.... *gross* *shaking head*

Sometimes though, I try not to injure people, so I'll just use a stern, but whimsical response. If that doesn't work, then I will get harsh.

Offline IQEQ

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Re: Interpersonal distance
« Reply #3 on: November 14, 2006, 02:45:41 AM »
tired of the suspect dudes

LOL....  Bruh this is one of the reason I don't have a normal picture up--and I NEVER respond to emails from men...  Note, I have asked T-Block for a chord or two... and I asked 4HG to add something to the board besides this....  NEVER!  I currently live in Europe and I tell you... this is the norm over here.  Folks get close enough so that you can count every cavity in their mouth...  Base-line, you have to tell them to back up!  Now once you place them on notice...lol then it's on... 

Now the part about dude touching you...   My man...You have to let him know what time it is.  Some folks might say you are allowing the Devil to get next to you...  Bruh, as they tell woman... this is your body...  NO-BODY has the right to touch you... even Churchy folks...
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HammerRock

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Re: Interpersonal distance
« Reply #4 on: November 14, 2006, 11:58:58 AM »
How do you all deal with people getting to close in your personal space?

Clear your throat. Cough into your non-shaking hand. Blow your nose lightly with a tissue.

If that doesn't work, step closer to them where they back off. If they hug you when you do this you're busted! Enjoy...

Offline LyricTenor

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Re: Interpersonal distance
« Reply #5 on: November 14, 2006, 12:05:38 PM »
One or a combo of the following:

Noticeably lean back w/the 'People's Eyebrow'.
Cross your arms in front of you.
Turn sideways.
Say "Niccaifyoudon'tgetouttamypersonalspace!" (My particular fav)   ;)

Offline Mysteryman

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Re: Interpersonal distance
« Reply #6 on: November 14, 2006, 12:07:38 PM »
This same dude still kisses his grown son on the cheek. This is America not Europe. :D
Vision without action is just day dreaming. I miss practicing.

Offline lumbebear1

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Re: Interpersonal distance
« Reply #7 on: November 14, 2006, 12:09:04 PM »
Tell them to back off........................

Offline vtguy84

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Re: Interpersonal distance
« Reply #8 on: November 14, 2006, 10:20:26 PM »
It just had to be a choir director.......anyway...

When I subbed for my high school a few weeks ago, the term they use now is 'fall back'.  Try that. :D
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