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Author Topic: In Need of Help!  (Read 425 times)

Offline FlamTap

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In Need of Help!
« on: November 22, 2006, 04:34:46 PM »
Wasup LGM. I had a question. Well about three years ago me and this guy both started playing the drums at our church. During those years we were descent. Later jealousy crept in because I was getting a little better than he was and the devil came in and caused confusion. Basically he got a job last year and he just doesn't come to church anymore, whether it be work related or personal reasons. When he does come to church he wants to play the set. Sometimes when he plays, well we're not perfect, but he gets off beat sometimes and he tries to do to much. I don't know if it's a lack of practice or he's trying to show off, I don't know. My question to you guys is, Am I supposed to let him play anytime he comes back and just don't worry about it or do I tell him he can't play? I really don't know what to say or do, because I consider him a friend and I don't want to sour the friendship. LGM family can you help your stepchild?

Offline lockslie1

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Re: In Need of Help!
« Reply #1 on: November 22, 2006, 05:43:01 PM »
Do you have a Minister of Music? Are you the minister of music? If not, I would look for a mediator/moderator such as the Pastor or whoever would be over that department and sit down with your friend, mediator/moderator and discuss the issue. There is nothing wrong with talking about the problem if there is a problem and work it out...Just make sure there is a witness and I would make sure we came to an agreement that would keep you both in church and also allow both of you the play if your friend really wants to play. I'm sure some others on LGM would have some suggestions also.

Offline fretai03

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Re: In Need of Help!
« Reply #2 on: November 22, 2006, 06:07:11 PM »
Personally I'd tell them to get to stepping. Simply for the fact that I don't play when it comes to the spirituality
of the church congregation & bringing people to God's throne through our given talent.

Your call.

At the very least let him know that if he's gonna play whenever HE feels like it. Then he better meet God halfway & come to church
every week... the way God feels.


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Re: In Need of Help!
« Reply #3 on: November 22, 2006, 07:47:04 PM »
...If he's not coming to church and comes every Easter, he shouldn't be playing anything.  The other thing is that your church needs to have an M.D. and if your church has one, he or she needs to have a set of Rules and Guidelines for the minstrels and stick to them. 

...The next thing is that if he was truly your friend, a drum kit or any material thing shouldn't come between your friendship.  He has to understand that if you are not attending services, you shouldn't be up there ministering to the people.  Too many musicians in the church do this and get away with it.  It needs to stop!

...now, would you give him the cold shoulder and throw him out? NO!  You pray for him and sit down with him and your MD and talk to him and let him know what's up.  If you need to have a schedule, then do it.  If he chooses to be upset or leave the church, then it's up to him.  It's his decision and not yours.  Your M.D. or you or both have to sit down and talk to him.  I've experienced this very same thing and it turned out totally wrong.  I lost a mentor and a person that I consider a very good drummer because the leader didn't do things right. 

Offline bigblackdrummer

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Re: In Need of Help!
« Reply #4 on: November 22, 2006, 08:09:29 PM »
You are going to the wrong people! Your Music Director (Pastor if you don't have an M.D.) should be the one you talk to! Tell them the suite and get them to call him so there's no more awkwardness in Church! If it job related then make a schedule when he can play maybe once a month (and say he has to be at the practice before!)..NOW make sure your heart is right and not getting kit greedy! If its just his job then there needs to be order in which you both play....If his lifestyle sucks then he needs to stand down! And make sure you're not on here trying to find back up for a reason to be drum hungry!!!!
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