...If he's not coming to church and comes every Easter, he shouldn't be playing anything. The other thing is that your church needs to have an M.D. and if your church has one, he or she needs to have a set of Rules and Guidelines for the minstrels and stick to them.
...The next thing is that if he was truly your friend, a drum kit or any material thing shouldn't come between your friendship. He has to understand that if you are not attending services, you shouldn't be up there ministering to the people. Too many musicians in the church do this and get away with it. It needs to stop!
...now, would you give him the cold shoulder and throw him out? NO! You pray for him and sit down with him and your MD and talk to him and let him know what's up. If you need to have a schedule, then do it. If he chooses to be upset or leave the church, then it's up to him. It's his decision and not yours. Your M.D. or you or both have to sit down and talk to him. I've experienced this very same thing and it turned out totally wrong. I lost a mentor and a person that I consider a very good drummer because the leader didn't do things right.