i need some ADVICE

[youngstarter]

Ok I have been going through some stuff and I know I just need to get it out and ask some advice on what and how to go about doing certain things. I've been M.O.M of my church since I was about 15 or 16...cant really remember, but now I'm 19 and since then I have matured alot in my playing and also in my passion for both the organ and keyboard. But since I was 15 and I took over the position I've been playing with mainly the same drummer and praise team because right now it is just me and him and the praise team. It's been alright and I've been handling it. I mean I was just a beginner and was just barely getting by on the services but now that i have learned and been practicing hard and I can say right now i'm decent on both the organ at this point. This as you all know comes through practice, practice, practice!!! Last year we went and started/resurrected a choir and even though it was a very difficult start in the beginning we still eventually got through and i mean we still have a alot to work on but they are pretty good so far. But yesterday i dont know what happened but i mean church started as usual and even through the opening song like its not what I want to hear. I mean i'm sure you all know what i'm talking about when you as a musician/mom need to hear a certain sound coming from your praise team and your musicians and if it isnt where your expectations are you just stuck right there like C'MON GUYS!!!  . Well this is what happened, the whole service I was trying as hard as I could to bring everything up on point and like the more i tried/ the more i prayed things would work right it seemed to get worst and worst. Right now i'm not content in the praise team and the musical aspect because I believe hey if i'm going to practice to harness and bring my gift where it should be why isnt everyone else? Like I dont know if i'm over reacting or what but i mean its been going on for about a year, i've been feeling this and when I go to the praise team and ask them about practice they sort of brush me off like ok and...? I take this very seriously and I feel and am afraid of if someone was to come in from the outside to church ( first thing is praise and worship ) and listen to how not on point we are and end before the sermon ( which is the most important part ) they leave out I thinking "oh they need some structure there with the praise and worship" and to the point where they say oh i'm not coming back to that church ever again. I dont want yall thinking that i'm saying everything else isnt important but music, its just as M.O.M. i'm sort of taking the responsibilty and everything for EVERYTHING that goes on wheter it's my drummer, choir, praise team, anything related to me where i'm in charge. And I think my passion and everything just came in yesterday and after service I had to fine my own little secret place and I was so overwhelmed I just had to let it out and cry. I mean I would do anything for this church, I would literally give anything, even my last dollar ( which I have already ) and I just want everything to run smooth. I'm the PK so hopefully in the end I want to eventually become pastor because I mean I live, breath, eat this church, instead of going outside and stuff as a kid I was in the church either cleaning, playing and all that, IT'S REALLY ALL I KNOW ABOUT because all my family is about if they not ministers or pastors then they still in the world. But I mean I dont want to go to my father because I know he would do anything to make me happy and I dont want him to make them or kind of force them to come and practice, I just want them to freely come. Its just I'm out of ideas and I dont know where to start to try and let them know how I feel about this. The only one that knows and saw how messed up yesterday I was is the drummer and he did try his best to give me my pep talk but I dont really think they understand because I've tried to speak before about this issue and like I said they kinda brushed me off ( maybe my age, or they dont have time ) but if thats the fact then I know I can replace at least the praise team because I have others that want to be in and WILL actually come and practice. But I dont want to step on any toes or anything.

Sorry about the rant lol I just had to get this out...I feel SOOOOO much better now.

[takuya]

So basically the issue is that you, as MOM, are unsatisfied with the music in your church.  Praise team, choir, none of it is running as smoothly as you would like it to.  Am I correct?

I'm guessing you're a small church?  I go to a small church, and my grandpa is the pastor, and although I've never dealt with an exactly identical situation, I feel for you.  It's hard when you have a vision that no one else seems to understand.

I think one of the first things you need to do, is just be up front with the people and tell them your expectations.  You don't want to sound like a dictator, but at the same time, remember that there's nothing wrong with striving for excellence.  And like you said, first impressions for new people that walk into your church are a big thing.  (Like I said, I go to a small church myself.  Trust me, I know this to be very true.  Guests can easily be persuaded one way or another by "superficial" things like that.)

You had mentioned there are people you have/know that are willing to use their gifts and would be able to make practices...is your issue that you don't want to hurt the feelings of your current musicians/singers by giving them the boot?

[betnich]

     Set a reasonable practice day and time, if you don't already have it. Tell the drummer, others that want to be in, and singers in the Praise Team this - "No practice, no sing/play". Make it a policy (few if any exceptions for emergencies, etc) AND get your Pastor to back you up.

     If they can't make practice they can sing with the congregation. That place on the platform is NOT a privilege - it's a serious ministry.
Better a few who prepare themselves before the Lord than an undisciplined mob.

If they have problems with this you have not just musical but spiritual challenges....

[2blessed]

I can identify with you.  I take this thing sooooo serious also.  But, others in our music ministry don't.  I recently heard from one of the choir members that they were volunteers.  She has it all twisted this is a stewardship.  You are not doing me a favor by being here.  I also strive for excellence and it is frustrating when people don't.  "We'll be alright in the morning...pray for me as a attempt., we are not professionals...." NO I DON"T WANT TO HEAR THAT, PRACTICE.  God will honor and bless those effort.  So here is my advice.  Continue to be prayerful for you and the singers.  Seek God's Perfect will for you not yours in the music ministry. Ask God what He wants you to learn from this situation.  Meet with your Pastor to discuss your expectations for the choir/praise team.  With his blessing meet with the choir with the Pastor present to set the expectations.  If they don't want to practice they should not sing or even be on the praise team.  Set an expectation that you must attend at least 2 bible studies a month or sunday school.  I'm sure that will weed out some right away.  Sounds like these people are not even spiritually mature.  God has you there for a reason it may be to raise the bar in this ministry.   

[Maestro87]

I feel ya.  I am going through the same thing at my church in Marshall.  I have been given the position of praise and worship leader as well as choir director but I have paycheck musicians who are not in it for the ministry whatsoever.  Not to mention that the entire church is 35 years of age and up and I am not even 20 yet.  I feel as though they resent me and that they do not really care about becoming better.  They are stuck in their own ways.

At my home church in Arlington, we have a standard of excellence and I just do not understand why people do not see it necessary to come to rehearsal and be in the choir stand on time for service.  I pray that you can find a way to make things better.  If you figure it out, let me know.

God Bless

[Angel4ever]

I agree with everyone. You need to set expectation for the singers and drummer. I understand as a PK you don't always want to run to dad, but in this situtation I would. When you talk to the pastor, tell him your vision, and goals you have for the ministry, and how you feel about what is going on. Since you have already spoken to them about the issues, you and the pastor should have meeting with the singers and drummer. They need to understand their responsibility in the ministry and your visions and goal. Also ask them about their concerns with ministry. You mention that you have others who are willing to join and come to practice. How come you don't add them to the team? Is there a set number? If you feel the team might get offended, explain to them you want to expand. If some leave the team, they wasn't there for the right reason.

[momuzik]

Sounds like you need to rebuild the whole praise team.

1. Set the rules and expectations for the praise team and let them know what they are.
2. After that, offer anyone that can't or don't want to meet those expectation to step down.
3. Hold auditions for anyone else willing to join and meet those expectations.
4. Then make your cuts - including any of the original team who didn't step down.

Now you ought to have at least a few people willing to come to rehearsal, come on time and sing to the glory of God.

Most MOMs know the members who really put their heart into it and the ones that don't.

[youngstarter]

Thanks SOOOOO much guys about this . I really do appreciate you guys suggestions alot and I will most definitely go and sit down, write some expectations to bring to my father and have a talk with him and hopefully we can go from there. But yeah the only reason why I was questioning how to do this is because like i said before I don't want to hinder anyone or be sort of a dictator. I know life isnt always "peachy" but i definitely understand there is things you just have to do because I feel as when I die and God judge everyone he will ask me why havent I given my all and did the very best I could do in his music ministry. and like you said...I DO strive for excellence and I expect none less from others who "declare" themselves in this music ministry also.

THANKS SO MUCH GUYS AGAIN YOU DONT KNOW HOW YOU RENEWED MY SPIRIT ! ! !