Troubled...

[NewLevel]

Hey guys. I got to say I complain on here a lot but a guy has to vent right? First, I take my problems and troubles to God.

For the past 6-8 months at my church we have did without a pastor. I'm currently the keyboard player/singer/music director. I have been doing that for about 8 years. Recently, a pastor closed his doors to his church and came to ours to pastor. I know basically have known him and his church for years. With him came his musicians, who used to go to my church a long time ago.

One of the musicians has been a friend I've known for a long time but I have had to keep my distance from him and his family because in the past they manipulated me and controlled so much that it really caused me to question my purpose and calling in God. It's a very long story, but it's really caused me so much pain. Now, the pastor and his family who are the majority in my church (most members are all family, and I'm not) don't want me leading the praise team.

My old friend and his family keep saying very sly things to me, like "_____ needs to be playing the piano and singing." I keep telling myself that I must be a horrible musician because I feel no one appreciates the hard work and dedication I put into what I do. I keep my distance but when I'm around these people, they ALWAYS do this. It's troubling me so much, because I struggle with it. I'm like "God are you showing me this? or am I reading too much into this?"

Do I need to move to another church? I have been there at my church for 8 years and now things are changing. I've cried myself to sleep almost every night this week. People know me, know that I'm not a guy who wants the spotlight but I believe I'm called to sing and lead worship. I know that in my heart. But why is it that people wants to take that away? I've had numerous people tell me that there's folk jealous of my talent. I don't see it but recently I really have. I'm scared to take this to the new pastor as well.

Am I reading too much into this? I think I must be going crazy guys. Pray for me. Have you guys had people control or manipulate you in ways you know are not right?

[under13]

If you feel God is telling you to move on, then do so. I would not have put up with that. There is always a ministry that will apreciate you and not mistreat you.

[betnich]

If you feel God is telling you to move on, then do so. I would not have put up with that. There is always a ministry that will appreciate you and not mistreat you.

Cosign to that. It may hurt, but that's the way it is. There will always be the 'sly ones' - underminers like tares in the church. Sometimes they will take advantage of a change in leadership to move their plots forward. If they were musicians for the pastor in his old church, he may prefer them. And as for the reports of jealousy - I didn't believe it either, until it happened to me. The flip side of course is vanity and pride, when you think your talent's all that and a bag of chips...

It's like a bad breakup or divorce. Can you share the spotlight with the people who hurt you? If a fair division of the playing/singing/leading duties cannot be achieved the only thing that might help (besides prayer) is a last-ditch appeal to the new pastor for support. If he doesn't back your ministry, then it's sayonara for that church. It may be wrenching and difficult to trust God through all this, but there may be something better out there for you....

[westbrooks1961]

If you feel this way, then it's time to shake off the dust from your feet and move on. Take your God given gift to a place where it can be utalized. It sounds like the new pastor has made up his mind who he wants and where he want them. It might be time for a change. God might be moving you. PRAY ABOUT IT AND ASK GOD TO DIRECT YOU. 

[NewLevel]

Thanks guys for all the encouragement, I really appreciate it from the bottom of my heart.

Again, the pastor keeps telling me that the shared duties are left up to me and the new musician. But of course the musician is unwilling to come to an agreement. The musician and his family has went through 4 churches in the past 5 years. If the spotlight is not on them, they get upset and move on to another place.

I for one do not want to be like that but I DO believe I need to be in a church where people love and appreciate me for me and my talent. Even though God is moving for the church, I don't want to be in a place where all the favoritism, jealousy and manipulation is going on. It's very hard to TRUST people like that.

[momuzik]

...Again, the pastor keeps telling me that the shared duties are left up to me and the new musician...

What do you mean by "shared duties"? Do you both have equal authority? So between you and the new musician, who has the last say? If it's you, I'd keep on playing - screw what people say!

I ain't one to change what I do because people talk. Somebody always gonna have something to say, so do what you know you ought to do!

Keep playing until the person you answer to or God says otherwise! If you want to incorporate the new musician, that's fine too but I wouldn't move. You been there the last 8 years and these other guys hop to a new church every year?

...in the past they manipulated me and controlled so much that it really caused me to question my purpose and calling in God...

I'm not understanding you here...I understand being used but not about being controlled unless you let them. If you understand God's purpose and calling for you, don't let anyone overrule God.

[NewLevel]

What do you mean by "shared duties"? Do you both have equal authority? So between you and the new musician, who has the last say? If it's you, I'd keep on playing - screw what people say!

I ain't one to change what I do because people talk. Somebody always gonna have something to say, so do what you know you ought to do!

Keep playing until the person you answer to or God says otherwise! If you want to incorporate the new musician, that's fine too but I wouldn't move. You been there the last 8 years and these other guys hop to a new church every year?

Yep. If they're not in the spotlight or forefront they do every time. I have been the keys player for 8 years and now all of a sudden I get moved to the organ or don't play at all. The new musician (former friend) has a bad habit of lying too! It's all messed up right now.

I'm not understanding you here...I understand being used but not about being controlled unless you let them. If you understand God's purpose and calling for you, don't let anyone overrule God.

I never let people overrule me but what I'm talking about is they so called gave me "words from the Lord" in the past. In the beginning, I trusted and believed them...they had me believing some of my good friends were gonna ruin my life and reputation, had me believing I needed to stop singing...all that jazz. I've learned from my mistakes.

Just pray hard for your boy right now.

[NewLevel]

To add up there: If they're not in the spotlight or forefront they do every time. I have been the keys player for 8 years and now all of a sudden I get moved to the organ or don't play at all. The new musician (former friend) has a bad habit of lying too! It's all messed up right now. I believe in sharing and being generous but I think people think they can just run over me and do whatever they want.

[betnich]

Check those "words from the Lord" with God's Word.

And personal prophecy should not get TOO personal - the one giving the word should not have a vested interest in the outcome in your life...

[tobiustobi1]

Well I would like to share my experience from 2007.  I was one of 4 worship directors at this particular church.  Had been there my whole life.  Well, I felt since I had been serving on the Main Worship Team for seven years, I felt the Lord leading me to take a sabbatical from the praise team, as that is what I found out when I looked up the the word sabbatical-a leave of absence usually taken every seven years.

So, I believe the Lord led me to meet with the Senior Worship director and share my heart with him and I was scared he was gonna chew me out, but he didn't.  He actually came into agreement with what God said and PRAYED over me, spoke into my life and blessed it.  What a weight that lifted (whoo).

Also in the midst of this, I was MOM over the Youth Dept, but I felt the Lord wanted me to continue in that, and also in my travels to other ministries that needed help or didn't have a MOM on a service by service basis.  It was a great way for me to learn this kind of ministry and how to work with other people, pastors etc.

Well, we had just got a new Youth Pastor and I believed he was the one called for that particular ministry.  He was great!  Well, one day after serving with him for about 6 months or so (and being the MOM for years in the Yth. Dept) he tells me that the Pastor wants to meet with me and him after service.

What I didn't know was the Youth Pastor was sly-ly and sneekily wanting me out.  So, I had never seen the Pastor that un-easy before...mind you, I've known him for over 20 years.

So basically it came to me choosing to either quit evangelizing and continue in ministry there or turn in my key, and not be involved there period.

I was so hurt and shocked over this...It seemed like all the scriptures flew out of the window and I went hope that night in pain.  Called the former Youth Pastor who was an Evangelist at the time (who basically raised me in ministry) and he could not believe this was happening, and that the Pastor would do this...

Well, long story shortened....a week later I grabbed all my things from the Youth Facility (of course I prayed and sought out God's will) and turned in my key.  These people did not care for me at all, they never checked up on me or ne thing..no phone call, no email, nada!

Well, it took me on a journey and now 3 ministries later, I'm at a place where I feel loved, appreciated, and I lead worship there.

Note:  I found found out a year later from a very reliable source that it was the Youth Pastor's idea to get me out.  They no longer have Praise & Worship in that youth ministry, they've lost a lot of youth to the Church on the next street over, and it has drastically gone down the tubes.

I shared all that to say....Everybody's response here is good and everything, but the only thing that really matters is that YOU FOLLOW GOD!

Yes you will get hurt!
Yes it will take some time to get over!
Yes you will think you didn't deserve to be treated like that!

But it always pays to be in the RIGHT PLACE AND SEASON!

I feel for you, I love you and I pray you do what God's will reveals!

Romans 8:28

[tobiustobi1]

...It seemed like all the scriptures flew out of the window and I went hope that night in pain. 

CORRECTION: it should read I went home that night in pain.

[momuzik]

...I had never seen the Pastor that un-easy before...mind you, I've known him for over 20 years...

Seems like after all those years, you should've been able to stop by the pastor's house and talk one on one to get the straight scoop. I hope you got closure.

[tobiustobi1]

Seems like after all those years, you should've been able to stop by the pastor's house and talk one on one to get the straight scoop. I hope you got closure.

Honestly, it took about a year for closure...because I didn't know what REALLY went down, and it took me to FORGIVE and move on and then MUCH LATER the Lord revealed what was done in the dark.  Now I'm all the better for it.