Wow, this is a very tough subject to discuss. I'm a young believer but I've been in many kinds of environments and learned a lot from many different experiences in different churches, so I feel like I have some things to say about some of this.
About alcohol... I cannot agree that drinking alcohol at all is bad. Remember, Jesus' first miracle was to make water into WINE. At the last supper, they broke bread and drank WINE. Paul told Timothy to quit drinking water because it was bad for his stomach, and to drink more WINE. That's right, for his health! I don't provide specific quotes only because I'm in a hurry, but the passages should be easy enough to find. So, alcohol in itself is not evil. In fact wine is used a lot in the Bible as a symbol for joy and celebration. Drunkenness is, as we all know, a different story.
Now, back to secular music. I was raised in Honduras and our churches are very strict with those kinds of things. So it's okay for people to dance, speak in tongues and go crazy in church but if you dance even a slow dance with a girl people think you're of the devil. If you listen to secular music, again, you're damned to hell... Now, at that time I was already studying classical music, and nobody had an issue with that. Why? A lot of the classical literature is secular, and I can tell you that some composers had really dark motivations for writing that music and it really comes through.
Now that I'm in the States, I have learned things that make me feel free as far as playing secular music. In fact, I think you pretty much have to if you want to be a well rounded musician. There's not a lot of Christian funk that I know of and that is a really fundamental area of study for bass players. However, I still won't do any of that stuff in Honduras in front of my family. Am I being a hipocrite? I don't think so. The issue is not always with yourself but with others. Paul said he became all things to all men, so that in the end some may be saved. He also talked about being stumbling blocks for others. So, if my faith allows me to eat pork (listen to/play secular music) but I know that such freedom will cause somebody else's faith to weaken, then that's surely a NO-NO for me, even though I have no issue with it myself.
This is my take on this. If anyone else with more insight has a better explanation, I would love to hear it too!